Dear You 2.0
- Miss Abbie
- Soldier
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 10:55 am
- Location: finding home
Dear you,
Thank you for paying attention to me. You make me feel not invisible and I love you for that. I mean, I love you for that.
-Me
Thank you for paying attention to me. You make me feel not invisible and I love you for that. I mean, I love you for that.
-Me
If you ever find yourself reading a book entitled The Bible, you will find yourself reading the story of Adam and Eve, whose daring lives led them to put on clothing for the first time to escape from the snake infested garden in which they were living.
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- Toon Leader
- Posts: 1065
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:03 pm
- Young Val
- Commander
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:00 pm
- Title: Papermaster
- First Joined: 12 Sep 2000
- Location: from New York City to St. Paul, MN (but I'm a Boston girl at heart).
- Contact:
dear you,
thank you for using the word "puerile." it makes me happy when people display a functioning and varied vocabulary.
-Kelly
dear you,
i am beginning to understand. please don't let that statement lose any of its validity because of the fact that watching episodes of Buffy and Firefly is leading me to that understanding.
maybe this really all does happen for a reason. we're going to be ok.
i love you so much,
Kel
dear you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
love,
Kelly
thank you for using the word "puerile." it makes me happy when people display a functioning and varied vocabulary.
-Kelly
dear you,
i am beginning to understand. please don't let that statement lose any of its validity because of the fact that watching episodes of Buffy and Firefly is leading me to that understanding.
maybe this really all does happen for a reason. we're going to be ok.
i love you so much,
Kel
dear you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
love,
Kelly
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
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- Toon Leader
- Posts: 1065
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:03 pm
- Miss Abbie
- Soldier
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 10:55 am
- Location: finding home
Dear you,
I'm sorry, I'm awful at keeping in touch during the school year. I am going home on Saturday for a little little while, maybe I'll have time then. Maybe you'll have time then.
-Me
Dear you,
You disgust me. Getting some distance from you has been lovely. "Oooh, my feelings for you will only grow deeper with time." My bottom. We haven't spoken in almost a month. Forgive me for not trying to talk to you when the last thing you told me was something along the lines of hello love I am too busy for you goodbye. Probably you never even think of me anymore. Fine. I mean, I have better things to do. People that actually respect me. Which is not to say that you weren't lovely for that little while. I will look back on our time together fondly. It was nice to think that someone your age thought I was mature and things.
Before I figured out that you're just a pedophile.
I hope that sometime in the near future you figure out what love actually is. You think you know, but you don't know. Most people don't but your definition is so twisted.
It's really creepy.
In the meantime, have fun attempting to seduce all the girls at your school, lover man.
-that girl that used to really adore you, you know, that one who... I don't remember, which one was she, again?
I'm sorry, I'm awful at keeping in touch during the school year. I am going home on Saturday for a little little while, maybe I'll have time then. Maybe you'll have time then.
-Me
Dear you,
You disgust me. Getting some distance from you has been lovely. "Oooh, my feelings for you will only grow deeper with time." My bottom. We haven't spoken in almost a month. Forgive me for not trying to talk to you when the last thing you told me was something along the lines of hello love I am too busy for you goodbye. Probably you never even think of me anymore. Fine. I mean, I have better things to do. People that actually respect me. Which is not to say that you weren't lovely for that little while. I will look back on our time together fondly. It was nice to think that someone your age thought I was mature and things.
Before I figured out that you're just a pedophile.
I hope that sometime in the near future you figure out what love actually is. You think you know, but you don't know. Most people don't but your definition is so twisted.
It's really creepy.
In the meantime, have fun attempting to seduce all the girls at your school, lover man.
-that girl that used to really adore you, you know, that one who... I don't remember, which one was she, again?
If you ever find yourself reading a book entitled The Bible, you will find yourself reading the story of Adam and Eve, whose daring lives led them to put on clothing for the first time to escape from the snake infested garden in which they were living.
- Virlomi
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 564
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:57 pm
- Title: has been eaten by a bear
- Location: New York City
Dear You,
There are moments in which potential versions of reality seem to glisten and hint and shimmer, whispering potential paths and unknown, unformed realities. I watch, I see just the moment, exactly where the paths diverge, where the split would happen if it were to happen. And inevitably, nothing ever does happen. And life stays familiar and comfortable and known. But I crane my neck as long as I can, watching that other life, the echoing mysterious who knows what. And watching you. There's nothing very new about it. Just a meeting and a knowing and a potential and a passing. And only one of us noticed. But there's nothing new about that either. And it's ok. Honestly. Maybe it wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway. Maybe it would have ended up withered and decayed and causing more damage than anything else. Maybe it's better that it never had life in the first place. But maybe that could have been it for me. Who knows.
At any rate, it's amazing the things that go on in people's heads, all about someone, but never actually involving them. So probably it's a good thing that you'll never know that any of this went on. And I'll crane my neck for awhile and watch out of the corner of my eye, and I'll give a moment of silence in the honor of the death of unborn things... and then I'll keep walking what I know. And I'm sure this feeling will come again. Someone else, somewhere else, sometime else. And some day I think the moment won't be missed, but taken, given substance. And that will be it for me. Maybe this could have been it... but something else will be, I'm sure, sooner or later.
In the mean time, I wish you well.
-me
There are moments in which potential versions of reality seem to glisten and hint and shimmer, whispering potential paths and unknown, unformed realities. I watch, I see just the moment, exactly where the paths diverge, where the split would happen if it were to happen. And inevitably, nothing ever does happen. And life stays familiar and comfortable and known. But I crane my neck as long as I can, watching that other life, the echoing mysterious who knows what. And watching you. There's nothing very new about it. Just a meeting and a knowing and a potential and a passing. And only one of us noticed. But there's nothing new about that either. And it's ok. Honestly. Maybe it wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway. Maybe it would have ended up withered and decayed and causing more damage than anything else. Maybe it's better that it never had life in the first place. But maybe that could have been it for me. Who knows.
At any rate, it's amazing the things that go on in people's heads, all about someone, but never actually involving them. So probably it's a good thing that you'll never know that any of this went on. And I'll crane my neck for awhile and watch out of the corner of my eye, and I'll give a moment of silence in the honor of the death of unborn things... and then I'll keep walking what I know. And I'm sure this feeling will come again. Someone else, somewhere else, sometime else. And some day I think the moment won't be missed, but taken, given substance. And that will be it for me. Maybe this could have been it... but something else will be, I'm sure, sooner or later.
In the mean time, I wish you well.
-me
- shadow-petra
- Soldier
- Posts: 169
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 6:59 pm
- Title: Totoro To-to-ro
- Location: Boston, MA
Dear ballas,
I played my worst today. You all know me, and this has to be the bottom of bottom any Defense Specialist can ever go. This has never happened to me before, and i promise you I will do my best to see that it will never happen again. I'm sorry, my seniors, that I couldn't contribute to the game with positive outcomes in each play. I'm sorry you can not go to state championships one last time before you graduate.
-L
I played my worst today. You all know me, and this has to be the bottom of bottom any Defense Specialist can ever go. This has never happened to me before, and i promise you I will do my best to see that it will never happen again. I'm sorry, my seniors, that I couldn't contribute to the game with positive outcomes in each play. I'm sorry you can not go to state championships one last time before you graduate.
-L
ahhhshucks
You've been wonderful.
I'll try to recipricate.
I'll try to recipricate.
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 416
- Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 7:04 pm
- Location: Command School, Eros
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- KillEvilBanned
- Posts: 2512
- Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2006 4:02 pm
- Location: North Plains, OR (read Portland)
Dear You,
I'm sorry about last night. Maybe I shouldn't have been so forward. I just wish you would explain what you're thinking. I didn't mean to intimidate you, just to express what I'm feeling. Maybe I didn't read you correctly. I don't blame you if you were trying to avoid me, I just wish you could have told me what you were feeling.
I really am sorry, but please tell me how you feel so that I can stop worrying about how you feel.
-/me
I'm sorry about last night. Maybe I shouldn't have been so forward. I just wish you would explain what you're thinking. I didn't mean to intimidate you, just to express what I'm feeling. Maybe I didn't read you correctly. I don't blame you if you were trying to avoid me, I just wish you could have told me what you were feeling.
I really am sorry, but please tell me how you feel so that I can stop worrying about how you feel.
-/me
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- Soldier
- Posts: 244
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:20 pm
- First Joined: 0- 8-2000
- Location: Washington, DC
Dear you,
You're doing it right. I'm sorry I'm a paranoid girl. I promise I'll get better in about a week or so. I just get tetchy during the third week of a relationship because I expect you to leave me. All the others have.
You're doing it right. I'm sorry I'm a paranoid girl. I promise I'll get better in about a week or so. I just get tetchy during the third week of a relationship because I expect you to leave me. All the others have.
"I seem to remember that when I was younger, overly sugared brats were sent down into the basement to fend for themselves, like Lord of the Flies."
- Miss Abbie
- Soldier
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 10:55 am
- Location: finding home
Dear yous,
I miss you very, very much. You are my every everything and I am so thankful that I know you. I miss your quirkiness, your fights about good and evil at the breakfast table, relocating, insane blazers, the horse painting, being crazy in public, walks, weekends in the music hall, all of it. I love the fights and the Maddie dramas and Vivian always being sick and the thorax/abdomen issue and Karyad not being able to deal with anything deathy or sadness related. I don't know what I'm going to do when this year comes to an end. I wish it could last forever, but it won't. Nothing ever does. I guess we're stuck with this little time, and so I wish I could have stayed there with you. Maybe next break, because I can't handle this--not even sleeping 18 hours a night helps, though I hope it'll help me out for when I get back to school. Maybe I'll actually be able to drag myself out of bed at 6:45 like I always mean to and then get to breakfast in time to sit around with Viv and wonder where everyone is.
And then Phish made a new album.
-Me
I miss you very, very much. You are my every everything and I am so thankful that I know you. I miss your quirkiness, your fights about good and evil at the breakfast table, relocating, insane blazers, the horse painting, being crazy in public, walks, weekends in the music hall, all of it. I love the fights and the Maddie dramas and Vivian always being sick and the thorax/abdomen issue and Karyad not being able to deal with anything deathy or sadness related. I don't know what I'm going to do when this year comes to an end. I wish it could last forever, but it won't. Nothing ever does. I guess we're stuck with this little time, and so I wish I could have stayed there with you. Maybe next break, because I can't handle this--not even sleeping 18 hours a night helps, though I hope it'll help me out for when I get back to school. Maybe I'll actually be able to drag myself out of bed at 6:45 like I always mean to and then get to breakfast in time to sit around with Viv and wonder where everyone is.
And then Phish made a new album.
-Me
If you ever find yourself reading a book entitled The Bible, you will find yourself reading the story of Adam and Eve, whose daring lives led them to put on clothing for the first time to escape from the snake infested garden in which they were living.
- daPyr0x
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 820
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:28 pm
- Title: Firebug
- Location: Inside the blackhole that became of my heart
Dear You,
After all that you have done, I do not feel as though you deserve a whole hell of a lot. You do not deserve me back, you don't deserve some of the things that I do and am going to do for you, you don't deserve my sympathy when you complain about feeling lonely...
But you deserve better than that. Nobody deserves to feel like that. Nobody deserves to hear that. Nobody deserves what you went through, and nobody deserves anyone pushing them back into it. You deserve better than him.
I am not with you. I may never be again. I may never even see you again. But I do love you. I do care deeply about you and your well being. I am a friend. Listen to your friend. You deserve better and you know you do.
You know what you need to do.
Sincerely,
Your love.
After all that you have done, I do not feel as though you deserve a whole hell of a lot. You do not deserve me back, you don't deserve some of the things that I do and am going to do for you, you don't deserve my sympathy when you complain about feeling lonely...
But you deserve better than that. Nobody deserves to feel like that. Nobody deserves to hear that. Nobody deserves what you went through, and nobody deserves anyone pushing them back into it. You deserve better than him.
I am not with you. I may never be again. I may never even see you again. But I do love you. I do care deeply about you and your well being. I am a friend. Listen to your friend. You deserve better and you know you do.
You know what you need to do.
Sincerely,
Your love.
- shadow-petra
- Soldier
- Posts: 169
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 6:59 pm
- Title: Totoro To-to-ro
- Location: Boston, MA
Dear you
I have no clue what he's thinking, putting me in your place. Your alot better than i am, it's your last few games, and you should be playing your position. Yes, it's mine too, but that was when i was on JV. I didn't think he'd actually make us switch places, especially after the worst game i've ever played. we both know we love playing libero, and i'm sort of flattered and confused he'd switch out places. I hope your not angry, because i don't want you to be.
-L
I have no clue what he's thinking, putting me in your place. Your alot better than i am, it's your last few games, and you should be playing your position. Yes, it's mine too, but that was when i was on JV. I didn't think he'd actually make us switch places, especially after the worst game i've ever played. we both know we love playing libero, and i'm sort of flattered and confused he'd switch out places. I hope your not angry, because i don't want you to be.
-L
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 53
- Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 7:31 am
- Title: Not Alvin or Calvin
- Virlomi
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 564
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:57 pm
- Title: has been eaten by a bear
- Location: New York City
Dear Yous,
Look, there is nothing new under this sun, and there certainly isn't anything new about you. It really has all been done before, and you happen to be hitting me at the one time of month where I just don't have any patience for it. The talking to each other in front of everyone else thing. The incessant babble. The "I must say something everywhere" mentality. The fluffiness just because you can. There's really nothing new about any of this. And it's a right of passage. It's something you earn, slowly, after time. It's being inducted into a culture. It's learning it's idiosyncrasies and it's key players and it's history and it's rhythm and it's sense of humor... and then, once you get that, it's adding your own voice to that and helping to shape that culture. It is NOT two days. It just isn't. And it means a lot to some people. And you'll never understand why that is unless you knock this out. I'm not saying there isn't a place for you, but this is getting extremely old.
-me
Look, there is nothing new under this sun, and there certainly isn't anything new about you. It really has all been done before, and you happen to be hitting me at the one time of month where I just don't have any patience for it. The talking to each other in front of everyone else thing. The incessant babble. The "I must say something everywhere" mentality. The fluffiness just because you can. There's really nothing new about any of this. And it's a right of passage. It's something you earn, slowly, after time. It's being inducted into a culture. It's learning it's idiosyncrasies and it's key players and it's history and it's rhythm and it's sense of humor... and then, once you get that, it's adding your own voice to that and helping to shape that culture. It is NOT two days. It just isn't. And it means a lot to some people. And you'll never understand why that is unless you knock this out. I'm not saying there isn't a place for you, but this is getting extremely old.
-me
Last edited by Virlomi on Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 2539
- Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:11 pm
- Title: Stayin' Alive
- First Joined: 17 Aug 2002
- Location: Evansville, IN
Dear You,
I've been thinking about our conversation we had a few days ago and I've decided to absolve you from your promise. I'd like to think you'd do that anyways for other reasons.
- Doc
Dear You,
I think we both need to work on our timing a little bit. I'll let you know when my next day off is when I find out myself (which will probably be only a few hours before I actually have that day off). We can talk then.
- Doc
I've been thinking about our conversation we had a few days ago and I've decided to absolve you from your promise. I'd like to think you'd do that anyways for other reasons.
- Doc
Dear You,
I think we both need to work on our timing a little bit. I'll let you know when my next day off is when I find out myself (which will probably be only a few hours before I actually have that day off). We can talk then.
- Doc
The enemy's fly is down.
- Miss Abbie
- Soldier
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 10:55 am
- Location: finding home
Dear you,
People like you infuriate me. It's not that I have anything against you as people, it's just that if it's over, it's over. You just have to move on, three weeks, three months, three years, I don't care. Relationships end, especially in this section of our lives. Get over it.
Which is to say stop playing with him, it's not nice and you're making lots and lots of people at the table hate you. He should be able to be ours too.
Dangit.
-me
People like you infuriate me. It's not that I have anything against you as people, it's just that if it's over, it's over. You just have to move on, three weeks, three months, three years, I don't care. Relationships end, especially in this section of our lives. Get over it.
Which is to say stop playing with him, it's not nice and you're making lots and lots of people at the table hate you. He should be able to be ours too.
Dangit.
-me
If you ever find yourself reading a book entitled The Bible, you will find yourself reading the story of Adam and Eve, whose daring lives led them to put on clothing for the first time to escape from the snake infested garden in which they were living.
- starlooker
- Commander
- Posts: 3823
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:19 pm
- Title: Dr. Mom
- First Joined: 28 Oct 2002
- Location: Home. With cats who have names.
Dear You,
You probably have no idea, but you opened up a really large can of worms for me today. Wow. Big, big, big issue. Deep personality structure type issue. Scary.
Please remember to help me deal with it, now that it's out there.
Your supervisee
You probably have no idea, but you opened up a really large can of worms for me today. Wow. Big, big, big issue. Deep personality structure type issue. Scary.
Please remember to help me deal with it, now that it's out there.
Your supervisee
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
Dear you,
AAA, Why do you have to be so controling? I know that your not comfortable with me doing somethings. But you know what? We are not a couple! End of story. We will not be a couple for at least another five years. So untill then I am goin to do what I want to and I hope and pray you do the same. I'm not holding you to a standard or anything so why should I be held to one?
-Nick
AAA, Why do you have to be so controling? I know that your not comfortable with me doing somethings. But you know what? We are not a couple! End of story. We will not be a couple for at least another five years. So untill then I am goin to do what I want to and I hope and pray you do the same. I'm not holding you to a standard or anything so why should I be held to one?
-Nick
~Nick
Dear You,
I'm sorry, I love you no matter what, I'm not trying to control you and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm just scared as hell to lose you and he is the only person I am afraid will be able to take you from me. I know you say he can't, that there's no chance of it. But it's a fear, I never said it was rational. And I'm hurt, I won't lie, that hurt a hell of a lot. Knowing that I would be spending Christmas with you but at the end of the day it would be his arms you'ld be going to, and not mine. That scares the hell out of me baby, and I can't help it, and it hurts like hell too.
-One who loves you
-One who is afraid to lose you
-One who is angry
-One who is sad
-One who worries more than he ever tells you
-One who is hurt
-One who is afraid
-One who is Me
I'm sorry, I love you no matter what, I'm not trying to control you and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm just scared as hell to lose you and he is the only person I am afraid will be able to take you from me. I know you say he can't, that there's no chance of it. But it's a fear, I never said it was rational. And I'm hurt, I won't lie, that hurt a hell of a lot. Knowing that I would be spending Christmas with you but at the end of the day it would be his arms you'ld be going to, and not mine. That scares the hell out of me baby, and I can't help it, and it hurts like hell too.
-One who loves you
-One who is afraid to lose you
-One who is angry
-One who is sad
-One who worries more than he ever tells you
-One who is hurt
-One who is afraid
-One who is Me
Last edited by -Bean on Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
The most important thing to know is that you don't know anything.
-Bean
-Bean
- daPyr0x
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 820
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:28 pm
- Title: Firebug
- Location: Inside the blackhole that became of my heart
Dear You,
You are a very funny person. I have yet to figure you out totally, and I'm not really sure I want to.
You are wrong. I am not trying to steal her away from you. In fact, if you could hear some of our conversations you would see that the situation is the exact opposite; she wants ME to take HER back and I've told her no because I wanted her to follow through on this relationship with you.
I know it's not going to work. I knew it from the start. Hell, I knew it back when I drove everyone to go to Universal and she had a crush on you but wouldn't admit it. You cannot support her the way that she needs. You do not have the amount of respect that is required to make the relationship work.
You pushed her to have sex with you the NIGHT she broke up with me. You don't respect her or anyone else nearly as much as you should. You don't respect sex as much as you need to to make something like this work.
Do you want to make it work? I know you do, I know you broke down in tears because you were scared it wouldn't. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll let you in on a little secret...
DO NOT KEEP PUSHING HER BACK TO HER HELL.
She has told you what she has been through, what I helped to pull her out of. She has told you her struggles, you know that she's had some rough times. And yet you still joke at her expense. You still say things that prove that you are more shallow than you show, and that further prove that you do not respect her the way you need to. She has told you quite specifically what you need to stop doing and you still do. I know she hasn't brought up some of the hurtful things to you, but I know about them. If you can't stop yourself from making her feel like s*** about herself then she can't be with you.
I have made Nicole aware that I am not willing to take her back right now. I will eventually. We will eventually get married, despite all of this. But right now is not the time. I would have no reason to "steal her away" from you because I have nowhere to steal her to. She is my friend, and that is all.
However, do know that I have told her she needs to leave you. Do be aware that though I fully support her pursuit of happiness at my demise no matter who it is with; I do not support her relationship with you. It has nothing to do with me thinking you're an a******, nothing to do with the two-faced liar that you are, and nothing to do with anything that you have done directly or indirectly to me. It has everything to do with what she comes crying to me about. Yes, SHE comes to ME, crying over things that happen between the two of you. She cannot be with someone who makes her feel that way. I understand I have hurt her in many different ways, many more than I should have; however you need to understand that there are certain things that are....how should I say...triggering...that cannot be crossed that easily. She needs to leave you for her own good, and for herself. Not for anyone else, and most definitely not for me.
You should also understand that I make very little effort to contact Nicole lately. After the first week or so I dropped off and we would only talk once every few days, when she would take the initiative to call me. Realize that I would, in fact, avoid contact with her for days on end despite her efforts. I picked up and started talking to her the other day when some things came out and I realized that though we are not together she needed my support thanks to you. i was there for her. she called me as she was preparing to kill herself so that I could help calm her and talk her out of it. I followed up with contact purely to help her stay away from that point. I followed up to tell her that I still loved her, that no matter what I would, and that I am here to support her no matter how little she might deserve it from me. I only care about what is best for her.
Her and I are no more. However, she still means the world to me. I care about her as deeply as I do my parents, my brothers, or even a theoretical child I don't have. As such, I want what is best for her, and only what is best for her. Throughout our relationship I placed her above me; that's a big reason why we are no more.....and I am continuing to do it. I care about HER and HER well being. I don't care about you. I don't care if you're sad because she's leaving you. I don't care if you hate my guts because......you're stupid(?). I don't care about anything else other than her well being, and if something is going to get in the way of her well being I am going to do my damndest to get rid of it.
I have no malicious intent with my contact with Nicole; merely caring for her and responding to her contact to me. I do not wish to take her back, and I do not wish for her to leave you for that purpose.
--The man whose heart you helped break, whose soul you pushed to grow cold, and whose mind cannot comprehend why he has any care for what you think of him.
You are a very funny person. I have yet to figure you out totally, and I'm not really sure I want to.
You are wrong. I am not trying to steal her away from you. In fact, if you could hear some of our conversations you would see that the situation is the exact opposite; she wants ME to take HER back and I've told her no because I wanted her to follow through on this relationship with you.
I know it's not going to work. I knew it from the start. Hell, I knew it back when I drove everyone to go to Universal and she had a crush on you but wouldn't admit it. You cannot support her the way that she needs. You do not have the amount of respect that is required to make the relationship work.
You pushed her to have sex with you the NIGHT she broke up with me. You don't respect her or anyone else nearly as much as you should. You don't respect sex as much as you need to to make something like this work.
Do you want to make it work? I know you do, I know you broke down in tears because you were scared it wouldn't. Well, I'll tell you what, I'll let you in on a little secret...
DO NOT KEEP PUSHING HER BACK TO HER HELL.
She has told you what she has been through, what I helped to pull her out of. She has told you her struggles, you know that she's had some rough times. And yet you still joke at her expense. You still say things that prove that you are more shallow than you show, and that further prove that you do not respect her the way you need to. She has told you quite specifically what you need to stop doing and you still do. I know she hasn't brought up some of the hurtful things to you, but I know about them. If you can't stop yourself from making her feel like s*** about herself then she can't be with you.
I have made Nicole aware that I am not willing to take her back right now. I will eventually. We will eventually get married, despite all of this. But right now is not the time. I would have no reason to "steal her away" from you because I have nowhere to steal her to. She is my friend, and that is all.
However, do know that I have told her she needs to leave you. Do be aware that though I fully support her pursuit of happiness at my demise no matter who it is with; I do not support her relationship with you. It has nothing to do with me thinking you're an a******, nothing to do with the two-faced liar that you are, and nothing to do with anything that you have done directly or indirectly to me. It has everything to do with what she comes crying to me about. Yes, SHE comes to ME, crying over things that happen between the two of you. She cannot be with someone who makes her feel that way. I understand I have hurt her in many different ways, many more than I should have; however you need to understand that there are certain things that are....how should I say...triggering...that cannot be crossed that easily. She needs to leave you for her own good, and for herself. Not for anyone else, and most definitely not for me.
You should also understand that I make very little effort to contact Nicole lately. After the first week or so I dropped off and we would only talk once every few days, when she would take the initiative to call me. Realize that I would, in fact, avoid contact with her for days on end despite her efforts. I picked up and started talking to her the other day when some things came out and I realized that though we are not together she needed my support thanks to you. i was there for her. she called me as she was preparing to kill herself so that I could help calm her and talk her out of it. I followed up with contact purely to help her stay away from that point. I followed up to tell her that I still loved her, that no matter what I would, and that I am here to support her no matter how little she might deserve it from me. I only care about what is best for her.
Her and I are no more. However, she still means the world to me. I care about her as deeply as I do my parents, my brothers, or even a theoretical child I don't have. As such, I want what is best for her, and only what is best for her. Throughout our relationship I placed her above me; that's a big reason why we are no more.....and I am continuing to do it. I care about HER and HER well being. I don't care about you. I don't care if you're sad because she's leaving you. I don't care if you hate my guts because......you're stupid(?). I don't care about anything else other than her well being, and if something is going to get in the way of her well being I am going to do my damndest to get rid of it.
I have no malicious intent with my contact with Nicole; merely caring for her and responding to her contact to me. I do not wish to take her back, and I do not wish for her to leave you for that purpose.
--The man whose heart you helped break, whose soul you pushed to grow cold, and whose mind cannot comprehend why he has any care for what you think of him.
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Last edited by Gravity Defier on Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
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