Brontosaurus Lays an Egg

[starlooker]

Whee! Felt the strongest & longest batch of little kicks and movements to date a little while ago! While I don't think I'm going to be 100% certain of what I'm feeling for some time yet, I really am as sure as I'm going to be that this was a little acrobat doing a daily exercise routine! Heeee!



Hey there, Little Bit! How's it going, pumpkin? You make me sooo happy. I cannot wait till you're strong enough to be felt from the outside. My dream of you kicking the cat is getting closer and closer. (Your mommy has a weird sense of humor, sometimes, okay?) Love, Mama.

Also, this week heartburn has kicked it into high gear, especially when I first wake up. Or eat tomato saucy things. Or eat... plain, bland graham crackers. Or eat at all. So, I've decided I may as well eat like normal if I'm going to get the heartburn no matter what.

[Gravity Defier]

My dream of you kicking the cat is getting closer and closer.

[Luet]

How's it going, pumpkin?

I don't remember if I've said this before, but my parents called me "[nomi, nomi] punkin' eater" when I was little (and once in awhile, still).

[VelvetElvis]

I always thought pumpkin was a common term of endearment!

[Luet]

Well, I think it is...but I don't know if the pumpkin eater part is common. I think it comes from the nursery rhyme, "Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater...".

[starlooker]

Donny sometimes calls me pumpkin. When I was little I was called Princess Pumpkin Pie (and I have no doubt Little Bit will get that nickname if she's a girl). It's a fairly common pet names for girls in my family, I'm not sure if I've heard it anywhere else. Anyone else's family use that one? Bunch-a-love is the petname for babies of both genders. I have fond memories of my grandmother saying that to all babies. And, even me, when I was reeeeeeaaally little.

[steph]

Speaking of pet names...

Today, Brayden came to me to tell me that his dad's real name is Brian. I asked him what my real name was. He said "Sweetheart."

[Young Val]

!!!!!

Steph, your family is too adorable for words.

[starlooker]

That is SOOOO cute!

[steph]

Thanks! It's made me smile all afternoon.

[VelvetElvis]

PREH-SHUS.

[Gravity Defier]

Steph, your family is too adorable for words.

This. I really like this one but my favorite is still the one about Brian liking you and wanting to talk to you.

[starlooker]

Part of what I like about basically blogging my pregnancy on Pweb is that I really do feel like I'm capturing some of the memories that would otherwise be forgotten, little day-to-day things that I probably WON'T think to tell people about when they ask me about my pregnancy in the future, but that are important or sweet or annoying or funny to me now.

Today's topic falls under both of the Annoying and Funny categories.

It is 100%, absolutely, totally true that pregnancy makes your hair grow thicker, more fully, prevents shedding, etc. It's not just the prenatal vitamins. I used to be a shedding monster in the shower. I'd use a wide-tooth shower comb with the conditioner and end up removing, like, fifty hairs each time. Now? Maybe two. MAYBE. Even when my hair is super tangled. Pregnancy hair power is amazing.

Trouble is, though, that it does not just affect the hair on your head.

Well, okay, you might say. So, you shave more. Piece of cake. What's the big deal?

Well, the big deal is that some of the places I shave are becoming rapidly less accessible, at least, in the shower.

I am a shower shaver from way back. That means EVERYTHING. I do not like chemical hair removers. I hate sitting on the edge of the tub. I hate sitting in the tub. I perfected the art of shaving awkward places while standing in awkward spaces in my dorm room days, when our communal showers were about 2 ft X 2 ft, and would randomly blast you with scalding hot water at least twice per shower.

My preferred method for shaving my legs is kicking the leg-to-be-shaved up so that my foot lands against the wall at approximately chest-height, and shaving there. I can see the leg in question, as well as the foot, everything's very accessible, BINGO. Plus, I feel kind of awesome and flexible.

You may think that I can no longer do this due to pregnancy. You would be wrong. I am happy to inform you that, at 20 weeks, I CAN still do that, and fairly easily. It doesn't throw me off balance or anything, feels perfectly secure. The problem is, I just can't HOLD it for as long. And everything doesn't seem quite as accessible as it did. Belly kind of pushes against leg. So, I've opted for resting one foot on the back edge of the tub. And, okay, that's fine, except I kind of had an epiphany today. It was like in Lord of the Rings, when Frodo looks into the water and gets these glimpses of the future. For one thing, my back mildly objects to me leaning over and reaching as it is. But the real, real visual piece was noting that, as of now, my stomach was just kind of there, lurking as I was shaving. I could practically see it plotting a way to get between me and my legs. And I know, I just know that when it gets huge -- there is no way this is going to work. I am dreading, a bit.

Then, there's the bikini area. Those of you who would find this TMI are free to exit now.

I am not a high-maintenance bikini-area person. My husband, who grew up before nudie pictures were all bald, does not really care. But, you know, I do like to do SOME maintenance, especially what with the extra-hair producing hormones. Yeah. Last time I tried it, I admit, it had been awhile. Too long. So, I was entirely unprepared for what awaited me. Lalala, showering, lalala, shaving cream, lalala, look down -- Oh. That's my boob. Attempt to move boob out of the way. No could do. Moved my head to look at a different angle. Screw you, boob, I'll just look from here and -- Oh. That's my belly. So, then, try moving boob with head at different angle and belly sucked in. HAHAHA. Boob. And belly. So, then, I tried the other side out of sheer determination. Same thing (surprise).

It took quite some time for me to become reconciled to the fact that any down-there hair maintenance will now be done strictly by Braille. You know, it's not like when you shave that area you're staring at it all the time. But, I didn't realize how much I'd miss the general visual cues. (And do not suggest waxing to me. Do NOT. I'm still traumatized from my home-waxing experience. Plus, money. But, mainly, trauma.)

My armpits are my new favorite secondary sex-characteristic hair-growing area. Thank God some things stay the same.

[Gravity Defier]

*happy sigh* I don't really have the time at the moment to go into any sort of detail on why I love that post more than just about anything I've seen in a while but I do. The short and sweet of it is, it probably touches on both the level of openness I like and the girly sort of "interaction" I have never felt was properly experienced in my life as of yet. If that makes sense.

[Luet]

Kirsten, can I ask, how do you know it's not the prenatal vitamins making the hair grow more/better?

And Alea, you just need to remain my friend for long enough and you will be comfortable talking about ANYthing. If you're ever missing out on girly interactions and openness, just give me a call. Anytime, sister, anytime...

[LilBee91]

Speaking of down-there hair during pregnancy--all of the boys in my high school health class were traumatized because in the Miracle of Life the lady giving birth had a bit of a bush (plus the fact that they had to watch a childbirth). All I could thing was that there are very few women who, when 9 months pregnant, are going to have the ability and/or desire to properly maintain their bikini area. Maybe if I knew someone was filming it I'd have a different attitude, but there some things that I'll probably just let go at that stage.

[steph]

Haha!! What an awesome post!

When I was pregnant with...at least 2 of my kids, but I can't remember which ones right now, I was lucky enough that my leg hair growth almost stopped. It was amazing.

[Luet]

One of the sad things that internet pornography has done to [some] men's perceptions of women: made pubic hair seem unnatural.

[starlooker]

Hee. I'm glad that post is making people happy. I was hoping I'd at least get a couple of laughs

Kirsten, can I ask, how do you know it's not the prenatal vitamins making the hair grow more/better?

Yup. I was taking them for a few months before I got pregnant, and if I did experience hair/nail improvement it was NOTHING like what I'm experiencing now. At all. Shedding continued just the same, nails may have been a little stronger, but nothing like this. Also, it did not change the frequency with which I'd glance at my armpits and go, "Oh. Whoops. Better take care of that."

[Luet]

Gotcha. Must be those hormones, then!

[steph]

One of the sad things that internet pornography has done to [some] men's perceptions of women: made pubic hair seem unnatural.

I totally agree with you, Nomi. There is NO reason we should all look like 11 year old girls down there.

Also, Kirsten is totally right, it's not the vitamins. But Kirsten, you're going to need to watch out for the post-natal shed. Your body eventually makes up for not shedding for 9 months and does it all in a short period of time. I've cut my hair more than once to stretch out the drain cleaning. Ick!

[Jayelle]

Also, Kirsten is totally right, it's not the vitamins. But Kirsten, you're going to need to watch out for the post-natal shed. Your body eventually makes up for not shedding for 9 months and does it all in a short period of time. I've cut my hair more than once to stretch out the drain cleaning. Ick!

So true. The shedding is the worst. For both my kids it was at exactly the 2 month mark that I suddenly left hair everywhere.

[VelvetElvis]

One of the sad things that internet pornography has done to [some] men's perceptions of women: made pubic hair seem unnatural.

Luckily, my husband doesn't care.

[Luet]

Helen, nor does mine. Which is very, very good because I'm a hairy Frenchie. I only remove enough hair to be seen in public in a bathing suit when the occasion strikes.

[VelvetElvis]

My sisters and I joke about having to keep things quieted enough so we don't trip over ours.

[steph]

Mine doesn't care, either. Just like he never mentions when the house is a mess, he NEVER complains about my hairy legs. TMI: And after he saw how itchy and uncomfortable it was to grow back the other hair, he has never once asked me to remove it and tells me I'm crazy if I think about it.

[Gravity Defier]

And Alea, you just need to remain my friend for long enough and you will be comfortable talking about ANYthing. If you're ever missing out on girly interactions and openness, just give me a call. Anytime, sister, anytime...

I groom and I'm not dead set against ever going bare but I don't want that to be the norm and I don't want a guy to think I'm willing to make it the norm.

[Young Val]

I actually kind of think Brazillian waxing is awesome, and it's my preferred method of pubic hair maintenance*. However, since waxing is expensive I haven't been able to manage that since I left New York. Although I'm getting to a more financially stable place where spending money is now and then a rare treat, so hopefully soon I'll be able to go again.

Shaving that area sucks so hard and after the joys of professional waxing I vowed never, ever to shave there again--a promise that it's been easy for me to keep. (Helped in large part by the fact that after repeated, long-term waxing, the hair grows in much sparser and finer. Yay!) When professional waxing is not an option, I'm an aggressive trimmer. DIY waxing is not ever, ever a possibility for me (oy, Kirsten, I'm so sorry! I hope eventually you get beyond your emotional scars and try professional waxing, if it's something you have any remaining interest in. My professional experiences have all been really, really positive--as much as ripping body hair out with hot wax CAN be positive. And a lot of places booze you up, first!).



*I totally agree with the position that perpetuating the myth that pubic hair isn't natural or sexy or whatever is crazy. And yeah, the whole rational that people do it to look/feel prepubescent squicks me out. I was never pressured to go bare for a guy. I hated, hated, hated shaving there, and some girlfriends convinced me to try waxing. Went I went in, the esthetician asked how much I wanted to remove, and since at the time I assumed that it would be terrible and that I'd never ever go again, I gave her the ok to go all-out. And then I was converted.

[Luet]

I feel like maybe we are derailing this thread. To be continued in the girly thread...

[starlooker]

New topic. Continuation of Bob, in a way.

Went to my doctor. Figured, okay, I'd explain what was happening and get samples of Lexapro. He's been very free with samples in the past, so I figured, no problem, right? He's a nice guy and I knew he'd want to help out when he found out about my situation. And, in that, I was correct.

Trouble is that Lexapro has apparently just gone generic. Which would be GREAT if I had insurance. No pre-authorizations to worry about, smaller co-pay, etc. Except, I DON'T have insurance and so what this basically means is that he no longer has samples of Lexapro to give out. He doesn't have any samples of generic medications. This is frustrating, as I've tried several anti-depressants and KNOW this one works well for me. Also, even generic, antidepressants are not cheap without insurance.

So, he ended up giving me six-weeks worth of samples of Cymbalta. Now, this is also a category C medication, same type even. And, hell, if I weren't pregnant, from the sounds of it, it'd be really good for me as it's supposed to be good for generalized anxiety and chronic pain, too. Yippee, right?

Well, kind of. Even though it's the same category as the other medications, it's newer, which means it's been used less in pregnant women, so, really, they know a lot less about what the risks of it are. Probably the same as the other SSRIs I've taken, but not necessarily. Just for my information.

So. Because I cannot afford cheaper medication that has worked for me, I get new, expensive medication for free, even though it's a slightly higher risk to my baby. And, even if it works well, once I get insurance, the insurance will likely throw a fit and make me switch again to a different medication.

And I'm going to take a quick break here.

*Kicks American healthcare HARD in the balls. Then, when it is crying on the floor, STOMPS on its balls for good measure.*

Oh well. Hopefully the Cymbalta works. De-medicationing is obviously not working at all.

[Syphon the Sun]

Kirsten, I don't know how much you're willing to spend, but a quick look at my nearest Walgreen's found: Citalopram (a generic brand of Lexapro, according to Walgreen's) in 10, 20, or 40 MG doses for $10 (for 30 days) and $12 (for 90 days). I don't know if those fit your dosages, if the assumed supply use fits (I think it assumes once per day), or if that fits your price range, but I thought I'd pass along the information, anyway.

I know I've had to shop around to get the best drug prices in the past, even for the same brand, so I always like to check a few places before I buy.

[VelvetElvis]

Lexapro is escitalopram and Celexa is citalopram. BUT they are pretty similar. Lexapro is, in an over-simplified explanation, Celexa 2.0. If you've never tried citalopram before, it's usually safe for preggos (category C but it's been around for a whiiiiile). It was the one I was taking before I quit. It's on the $4 prescription program at Walmart.

[starlooker]

Thanks. I did try Celexa before and it didn't work as well as the Lexapro (although, I've wondered if that's not because of dosage more than med type, because in theory, it should've been the same).

I'll look into it and think about it. In a week or two, I should have a better sense of how much $10 is going to mean to us.

[starlooker]

WE ARE TWENTY WEEKS TODAY

This is very exciting! HALFWAY MARK! Also, it's such a nice, substantial number. The odds of anything going wrong now are remote and getting remoter. Which is such a relief. I cannot even tell you what a relief that is. I look back on the days when I was so excited to get to the week where the odds of miscarriage reduced to 1 in 10, and just feel this huge, huge weight lifted off. I'm still nervous, a bit. I'm nervous posting this, a little, because what if I'm tempting fate? I know it's silly. I don't think that little nervousness will go away until my baby is in my arms. Baby-making is scary business, I tell you. (I mean, the part that comes after the initial baby-making, of course!)

All the same. I feel so much better, being here, being halfway. Being to the point where the odds are in favor of my baby's survival, even if something bad happened, God forbid.

Little Bit is the size of a small cantaloupe. When we started, when we first found out I was pregnant, Little Bit was the size of a poppy seed. We've come so far! And we're going farther. It rather blows my mind how much bigger Little Bit and I are going to get over the next few months. I swear, in the last two weeks, my belly has just popped out so far! I am unmistakably pregnant now, no matter what I wear.

Seriously, I AM a bit nervous about how much bigger and more awkward things are going to get. My knees are starting to hurt as it is.

Donny and I are talking to Little Bit every night before bed now. Starting to read Splat the Cat books to him/her. One of the nicest feelings in the world is Donny's hand on my tummy while we tell Little Bit about everything we're going to do and how great the other parent is and the funny voices Daddy makes. (Little Bit can definitely hear me now. We're not sure about Donny, but we figure, close enough.)

[starlooker]

Dear Little Bit,

One year ago today, these two crazy kids, also known to you as "Mommy" and "Daddy" got married.




We were very much in love. Little Bit, you don't have to get married, you know that? I'm not going to be one of those parents that pressures you, ever. But if you do get married, I hope and pray that you are as happy as your daddy and I were that day. And as in love.

Here is what the two of us looked like out at the zoo today:



The people in this picture are probably more familiar to you. Scruffier, less fancy, and Raiders fans. And they are every bit as much in love as the people in the pictures from before. And, in one way, they are happier. That's because you are in our pictures now, and you will be in our lives and hearts from here on out. You were a hope for someday a year ago, and you are fast becoming a dream come true today.

Your Daddy is one of the funniest, kindest, most caring men I know. I can't wait to see him with you. Your Mommy -- well, I love you more every day and I can only imagine that growing when I finally get to meet you. And you will know that, I promise.

And we love each other. I hope we can be a model of that for you, of love, of how people who love each other treat one another.

All my love,

Mommy