Postby starlooker » Thu Oct 06, 2011 2:40 pm
Part of what I like about basically blogging my pregnancy on Pweb is that I really do feel like I'm capturing some of the memories that would otherwise be forgotten, little day-to-day things that I probably WON'T think to tell people about when they ask me about my pregnancy in the future, but that are important or sweet or annoying or funny to me now.
Today's topic falls under both of the Annoying and Funny categories.
It is 100%, absolutely, totally true that pregnancy makes your hair grow thicker, more fully, prevents shedding, etc. It's not just the prenatal vitamins. I used to be a shedding monster in the shower. I'd use a wide-tooth shower comb with the conditioner and end up removing, like, fifty hairs each time. Now? Maybe two. MAYBE. Even when my hair is super tangled. Pregnancy hair power is amazing.
Trouble is, though, that it does not just affect the hair on your head.
Well, okay, you might say. So, you shave more. Piece of cake. What's the big deal?
Well, the big deal is that some of the places I shave are becoming rapidly less accessible, at least, in the shower.
I am a shower shaver from way back. That means EVERYTHING. I do not like chemical hair removers. I hate sitting on the edge of the tub. I hate sitting in the tub. I perfected the art of shaving awkward places while standing in awkward spaces in my dorm room days, when our communal showers were about 2 ft X 2 ft, and would randomly blast you with scalding hot water at least twice per shower.
My preferred method for shaving my legs is kicking the leg-to-be-shaved up so that my foot lands against the wall at approximately chest-height, and shaving there. I can see the leg in question, as well as the foot, everything's very accessible, BINGO. Plus, I feel kind of awesome and flexible.
You may think that I can no longer do this due to pregnancy. You would be wrong. I am happy to inform you that, at 20 weeks, I CAN still do that, and fairly easily. It doesn't throw me off balance or anything, feels perfectly secure. The problem is, I just can't HOLD it for as long. And everything doesn't seem quite as accessible as it did. Belly kind of pushes against leg. So, I've opted for resting one foot on the back edge of the tub. And, okay, that's fine, except I kind of had an epiphany today. It was like in Lord of the Rings, when Frodo looks into the water and gets these glimpses of the future. For one thing, my back mildly objects to me leaning over and reaching as it is. But the real, real visual piece was noting that, as of now, my stomach was just kind of there, lurking as I was shaving. I could practically see it plotting a way to get between me and my legs. And I know, I just know that when it gets huge -- there is no way this is going to work. I am dreading, a bit.
Then, there's the bikini area. Those of you who would find this TMI are free to exit now.
I am not a high-maintenance bikini-area person. My husband, who grew up before nudie pictures were all bald, does not really care. But, you know, I do like to do SOME maintenance, especially what with the extra-hair producing hormones. Yeah. Last time I tried it, I admit, it had been awhile. Too long. So, I was entirely unprepared for what awaited me. Lalala, showering, lalala, shaving cream, lalala, look down -- Oh. That's my boob. Attempt to move boob out of the way. No could do. Moved my head to look at a different angle. Screw you, boob, I'll just look from here and -- Oh. That's my belly. So, then, try moving boob with head at different angle and belly sucked in. HAHAHA. Boob. And belly. So, then, I tried the other side out of sheer determination. Same thing (surprise).
It took quite some time for me to become reconciled to the fact that any down-there hair maintenance will now be done strictly by Braille. You know, it's not like when you shave that area you're staring at it all the time. But, I didn't realize how much I'd miss the general visual cues. (And do not suggest waxing to me. Do NOT. I'm still traumatized from my home-waxing experience. Plus, money. But, mainly, trauma.)
My armpits are my new favorite secondary sex-characteristic hair-growing area. Thank God some things stay the same.
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter