Philotic Web

*lights dim*

Jayelle has stepped up to the microphone. She does a quick dance routine and sings about the joy that is philoticweb.net.

Jayelle: "Welcome, one and all to the Pweb Awards! The Pweb awards have a long and proud tradition starting back in..."

From the crowd: "GET ON WITH IT!"

Jayelle: "Alright folks, let's move on to our first category. Please welcome to the stage, Stoned Kermit to present our first award!"

Stoned Kermit: "The winner of the Best Games Thread is... *drumroll* Calvinball! *pause* Calvinball could not be here this evening, so I will accept this award on his behalf."


Jayelle: Our next presenter is none other than the screaming logo from pweb!

Screaming Logo: "Thank you, Jayelle. I feel honored to be here, I usually feel so unwanted. "

From the Audience: "Who ARE you anyway?"

Screaming Logo: "Who are any of us? I am here to present the award for Funniest Thread. And the winner is....Evolution vs. Creation! Congratulations, good sir. "

Jayelle: Our next two awards will be presented by the devil twins.

: We are here to announce the winners of the Best Religion Thread and the Best Milagre Thread.

: "The Best Religion Thread goes to...Ordinances, Sacraments, Rituals, Practices, etc."

: "And the Best Milagre Thread goes to Calling all Camera Whores: A Day in the life of _______ !

Calling all Camera Whores: "Thank you so much! I couldn't have done it without all my spin-off threads."

Jayelle: "Let's move on to the individual awards, shall we? But first this commercial message."

SLAP CHOP!


SHAM WOW!

OXY CLEAN!

Jayelle: “Thank you to our sponsors. Now on with the show. Our next presenter hails from the refrigerator. Please welcome... Limeade!”

Limeade: “I am here to present the awards for Best Avatar and Best Signature. This year we had a double winner in these categories! The award for BOTH Avatar and Signature goes to... Caspian!”

Caspian: [insert speech here]

Jayelle: “Congrats, sweetie! Now, here to present our next award is the one, the only, Bezoar!”

Bezoar: “Me eat Newbie now?”

Jayelle: “No, no, you present award for Best Newbie now.”

Bezoar: “Award for Best Newbie go to Jeesh_Girl15!”

Jeech_Girl15: [insert speech here]

Jayelle: “You can leave the stage now, Bezoar, please don't eat J_G!”

Bezoar: “HUNGRY!!”

Jayelle: “NO! Bad Bezoar! Off the stage! Okay, on with the show. Presenting the award for Funniest Poster is a Grignr.”

Grignr: “Grignr?”

Jayelle: “Yes, you”

Grignr: “Funniest Poster is Jebus.”

Jebus: [insert speech here]

Jayelle: “Well, folks, it's the moment you've all been waiting for... here to present our Best Pwebber Award is... well... me!
It is my absolute honour to present the Best Poster Award to Gravity Defier!”

GD: [insert speech here]

Jayelle: Well, Thanks for tuning in folks.

Audience: Aren't you forgetting something?

Jayelle: What's that?

Audience: YOU won Best Mod.

Jayelle: I know. I feel a little awkward about it. Thanks Pweb. I love you guys. Those who won can make a speech!


One last thing. The mods discussed a while ago who we thought would be most deserving of an honourary award. There was no debate.
Alea, you are the very heart and soul of pweb. From your tireless hounding of oldbies to return to being our pweb archivist to sending out postcards in meatspace. You deserve Best Poster, and you deserve this Honourary Award.
There is something coming in the mail for you. It may take awhile, but I'm sure you'll post a picture when it comes. Thank you for all you do for pweb.

*clap clap clap clap*

That was by far the best award show I've ever had to sit though!

Congratulations everyone!

^what she said!

Congrats to all the winners and thanks Jayelle for a awesomely conducted show!

Orihime huggles everyone tightly into her nurturing bossom!

Thread of the year: All Years.

One last thing. The mods discussed a while ago who we thought would be most deserving of an honourary award. There was no debate.
Alea, you are the very heart and soul of pweb. From your tireless hounding of oldbies to return to being our pweb archivist to sending out postcards in meatspace. You deserve Best Poster, and you deserve this Honourary Award.
There is something coming in the mail for you. It may take awhile, but I'm sure you'll post a picture when it comes. Thank you for all you do for pweb.

Couldn't agree more.

I did get a chuckle when I saw the last registered user was ZombieBillyMays.

Great show! Congratulations everyone!

Yay! Excellent show! Congrats!
We should do Pweb awards more often.

[Alea takes this too seriously]

This may get a bit wordy and seem unrelated but hear me out.

Giving me a computer at work that is away from the public was a mistake. This morning I saw that NPR article and stopped by Pweb to create the thread that is now floating around Milagre. At lunch, I rushed to Pweb to check on it, hoping it hadn't sunk to the bottom of the page at Ludicrous Speed, and also, as it would turn out, to find out about my long lost family of Ewok impostors (who still remain anonymous). Lo and behold, this thread also popped up in between my visits.

I have to say, it was spectacularly done, Jan, and well worth the wait; my coworkers were giving me funny looks for trying to eat while laughing, something most people refer to as "choking." Vince and ZombieBilly were especially nice touches. And congratulations, of course, to the winners. This seems like an appropriate place to say thank you for Best Poster, so thank you, guys. (Look, Jason, I'm not even telling them they're silly for that one. Wait...)

Then there was:

One last thing. The mods discussed a while ago who we thought would be most deserving of an honourary award. There was no debate.
Alea, you are the very heart and soul of pweb. From your tireless hounding of oldbies to return to being our pweb archivist to sending out postcards in meatspace. You deserve Best Poster, and you deserve this Honourary Award.
There is something coming in the mail for you. It may take awhile, but I'm sure you'll post a picture when it comes. Thank you for all you do for pweb.

And I have to say, you surprised me there. In fact, I was so surprised, I looked twice to make sure I read it correctly and when I determined I did, I didn't know what I should say because Pweb is the cheese to my macaroni, making that compliment especially meaningful. After about, oh, 7 hours of thinking on it, this whole story was the best I could do. Everything else seemed a tad bit too corny and I fear I'm getting much too serious as it is. Just in case there was any doubt, though, let me say: this means a lot. Even if it is a silly little thing.

[/Alea takes this too seriously]

My dear, you deserve it. <3


Great posts, Jan!

Indeed you do!

Congratulations, everyone! And awesome ceremony, Jan!

Awesome, awesome ceremony, Jan! Very, very enjoyable. The line up of presenters was hilarious and perfect

Congrats everyone! (Especially Alea )

Alea, it's good you take it seriously because we seriously like you.

[Alea takes this too seriously]

And I have to say, you surprised me there. In fact, I was so surprised, I looked twice to make sure I read it correctly and when I determined I did, I didn't know what I should say because Pweb is the cheese to my macaroni, making that compliment especially meaningful. After about, oh, 7 hours of thinking on it, this whole story was the best I could do. Everything else seemed a tad bit too corny and I fear I'm getting much too serious as it is. Just in case there was any doubt, though, let me say: this means a lot. Even if it is a silly little thing.

[/Alea takes this too seriously]

prepare to be more surprised, enjoy your ...

hmm I can't spoil the surprise can I, so, let's come up with a code word...

hmm...

something Alea related...

kay got it...

enjoy your gnomewok coming in the mail sometime soon, though it may be a longish sometime coming yet.

That was totally awesome, Jan. And I can't think of a more deserving pwebber than Alea, congrats!

That ceremony was the best thing ever, Jan!

And congratulations, Alea. Not even Kanye can deny that you deserve it.

That ceremony was the best thing ever, Jan!

And congratulations, Alea. Not even Kanye can deny that you deserve it.

Dang!! Now I'm totally kicking myself for not putting a Kanye joke in there. It's so obvious, I can't believe I missed it.


Thanks everyone. I had SO much fun putting this thread together. I probably think it's funnier then anyone else does.

The Kanye jokes are getting a bit played out anyway. Kudos for being original.

*Snaps and claps for Jan* Hilariously funny and enjoyable. Definitely worth reading through, even without the Kanye jokes.

Congrats Jeesh. And everyone. You guys are all awesome.

Congrats to all. And to you, Alea. Jan's not kidding when she says there was no debate about your selection. It was simply too obvious to discuss.

Congrats everyone!

I echo the sentiments that everyone has already passed along, Alea. You deserve it.

Congrats to everyone!

I'm really excited about the honorary award. After the voting was almost done, I was really thinking I should have suggested having a category for the best community member. Forget best poster, best sig, best avatar, etc., I was thinking we needed an award for someone who represented the heart and soul of pweb. Lo and behold, it happened! Thank you mods, for honoring one of my favorite people in the world. Alea, you're the best!

I probably think it's funnier then anyone else does.

Hard to compare, really, but I think that is doubtful.


Also, thanks again for all the kind thoughts/words trickling in.

Jebus: [insert speech here]

I'd like to congratulate everyone here who voted for me. You've gotten what you've always truly desired: recognition... for me.

I know it hasn't always been easy, I know it hasn't always been fun. There have been times when all your efforts to get recognition for me seemed like they were for nothing. PWeb Award after PWeb Award were cancelled, and I know that at one point, in your darkest hour, you even questioned whether you'd ever actually achieve your dream. But you persevered, you fought on, because that's how much it meant to you. That's how much I meant to you.

This award isn't about me, it's about all of you, and your incredible love for me. I won't stand here and steal the limelight of the outpouring of devotion towards me. You did this. So congratulations on winning your award for me. You couldn't have done it without me.

Hey! welcome back! i'd like to say something witty about you coming back, but as you said this isn't about me, is about your devotion to me!

...or something of the sorts