Cause Breakin' Up Is Still Hard To Do

[locke]

thanks for getting this to a different page that doesn't have Nicole at the top about her breaking up with Brandon from ages and ages ago. :-p which was like their twelfth breakup anyway. :-/

[jotabe]

Well i am not sure if i should be writing this at all. I mean, we never had any kind of interaction, and i don't want to come out as sanctimonious or something, or poking my nose where it doesn't belong.
But i really can relate, in having a break up where you have no idea what happened, where you had been having signs for a while, but you pretend they're not there.
The way you describe it, it's as if, for her, the stage of "being in love", that special energy you feel when you start a relationship, ended, as it always does, and it's the moment to work out if, after the dust clears up, there is love within it or there isn't. My ex also said a lot of nonsense about why she was breaking up with me, but as we kept on talking, along years (we care for each other, but more in a sibling way, now), she said she just was confused, she didn't know how to deal with the fact of spending so much time with me, because after the butterflies in the stomach, she didn't find the love for me she thought there would be.

I guess it's unfair to have any kind of serious commitment until the butterflies go away... they get in the middle and you can't see what truly is there.

[daPyr0x]

I'm not exactly one for unrelenting support, so take this or leave it. I kinda batted around whether or not to respond, but the honest truth is - I've got some spare time so I'm gonna :-p

I read your first big post about the breakup and was kinda struck by a few things. Being single is the worst experience there is? If there's anything I've learned, it's that you need to be happy with yourself as yourself by yourself before you can have a healthy relationship. If there's any way you "just really weren't good enough," that is it. It just seems to me, as an outsider who knows strikingly little about you or your personal life, that you're associating your identity with the relationship. You were just being you, if that meant the relationship would fail then maybe it wasn't the one for you.

Don't be so hard on yourself man. Try to learn to live an enjoyable single life just as you, and if things go that way, bring in a woman as you go living your life.