Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

[Mich]

We all know that it's coming someday, and I realized that all of my IRL friends have highly detailed plans for when that fateful day does come, from keeping weapons under their beds to escape plans to buildings that will hold the best against a rising tide. So what do you guys all plan to do when at last that nuke hits/that virus breaks out/that genetic experiment goes wrong? What building will you hole up in, what weapons will you try to get, and what people will you gather around you?

I expect fully documented blueprints and stat sheets.

[Dr. Mobius]

http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/archive/episode.php?id=226

[jotabe]

I have realized that all the plans i could make to save myself were doomed to failure due to logical fallacies (there were plenty of ad hominem!). So i finally decided on allowing myself to become a zombi voluntarily.

You know, when you can't beat them, join them!
And in the while, i will get to flavour some brain, yum!

[Syphon the Sun]

I read The Zombie Survival Guide a couple times every year. And, sadly, I tend to follow its suggestions.

[eriador]

I keep the tools needed to isolate the upstairs of my house within arms reach of my bed. I can get three axes, a crowbar and a shotgun in five minutes. I have five vehicles I can drive that are gassed and ready to go, keys in the ignition. These are:
* A 5-speed manual Honda Civic Hybrid that can go 800 miles on a 15 gallon tank of gas.
* A 1997 Chevy Venture that seats seven w/ cargo room (4-speed automatic transmission)
* A 5-speed manual Ford F-250 pickup
* A 3-speed automatic 2.5-ton Ford pickup with a dump Bed
* A 4-speed automatic GMC delivery truck w/ a 10 ft refrigerated box on the back (gas, not diesel).

I'd head north, into the hills if I had to leave the farm. Otherwise I'd hole up upstairs for as long as I could. The farm could provide food, as could the chickens. It depends on zombie behavior. My best chances for escape are in the medium term: zombies will be concentrated in population centers rather than rural areas (where I am) and won't be desperate enough to stake out my location. Any questions?

[Luet]

Are you Dwight Schrute?

[GodInYourEyes]

I had a dream of a Zombie Apocalypse I servived but no
one else did. It was a nightmare.

[Gravity Defier]

So...I think I've mentioned somewhere that I have a bit of paranoia concerning the end of the world? If not, I just did.

My mom knows this, and proceeds to hand me the book Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer, which is about the moon getting pushed closer to Earth and all the horrible things that happen as a result. Bad move, Mom!

At the end of each chapter, I could hardly stop myself from driving to a supermarket and stocking up on canned goods. As it is, I do have a very small emergency stash of canned soups that would last maybe a week if my whole family were dependent on them.

Before my grandpa died, I asked him if I could have his camping gear (tent, portable gas stove, lanterns...can't remember what else). It's in the garage, stacked and ready to go should I need it.

Parts of me are highly uncomfortable with being so unprepared and other parts of me are very glad I haven't given into the paranoia quite yet. My friend is convinced I'll eventually end up like Gene Hackman's character in Enemy of the State, living off the grid.

[mr_thebrain]

I figure i have everything i need to get me through a zombie infestation....

still, i might side with jotabe. not because i think it's right, but because it would be really fun to go mess with eri.

as a zombie i would pop holes in the gas tanks of all his cars. find and move all of his axes crowbars and shotguns... so on and so forth. only once i was done messing with him, i'd eat his brain. course i'd still be hungry.

it would totally prove whether zombies can laugh or not.



who's with me!?

[Bean_wannabe]

I'm with you - as long as the actual process of becoming a zombie isn't too painful, and I retain my original memories and personality afterwards

[Borommakot_15]

Do the Borg count as zombies?

Because, I would totally let myself get assimilated.

I have wished for it, for years.

[Gravity Defier]

*Grr-Arg Bump...but with reason!*

Besides my camping equipment in the garage and my shrinking supply of canned food (my oldest brother has no respect for my end of the world paranoia ), a friend thought I was woefully unprepared. So, with the help of my little brother (he supplied the backpack and canteen...though, technically, it was from my dad), she got me this post-Apocalyptic starter kit:



Complete with:
1 military issue backpack
1 military issue canteen (not shown: water bottle given to fill said canteen)
1 12 pack of Maruchan Ramen Noodles
1 mini bottle of Peppermint Schnapps
1 pack of Post-It notes, for maintaining records of critical information
1 dual pen-Wilson (think Cast Away)
1 copy of Apocalypse How
1 homemade guide to aid in my preparation for the end of times against zombies, aliens, or robots
2 cans of Spam


I was thoroughly amused, especially with the homemade guide as it was the most personal.

[Wil]

Alea, that is an awesome gift!

Kind of... related? Also besides the camping equipment in the garage and the multiple guns in the house...

This is currently what I carry with me every day. I'm in the process of collecting several other things as well.


From top left, clockwise:
Fathers Car Key, My Car Key, House Keys with a 2gb USB Flash Card Drive and a Swiss-Tech Utili-Key Knife, my All-Ett thin wallet, cellphone, Zebra F-301 pen, Leatherman Skeletool, and my iPod Touch


Inside my wallet:
Drivers License, Health Insurance Card, Three Bank Cards, Three Misc. Cards, One 4Gal Plastic Bag, Two Paper Clips, Three Safety Pins, One Razor Blade, One Travel First Aid Ointment Package, Three Types of Band-aids, Travel Package of 2 Motrin, and currently about $100.

The things I will soon be adding to what I carry every day are as follows:

LiteFlux LF5XT LED Programmable Flashlight (Up to 130 lumens)
Swedish Firesteel for my keychain
P38 Can Opener, also for my keychain
Rite in the Rain weatherproof pocket notebook
Benchmade Griptilian Plain Edge Knife
Paracord... weave this stuff in to lanyards that can unravel... for when you need rope.

To my Wallet:
Water Purifying Tablets
Zip ties
Duct tape
Some Kind of Portable Cup...

When I get all this stuff together I'll post a new picture!

God, I love cargo pants. I think I'm fairly ready for zombies... or rather, at least to MacGyver my way out out of anything. *whistles*

[lyons24000]

So...I think I've mentioned somewhere that I have a bit of paranoia concerning the end of the world? If not, I just did.

You will like Exit World!

Seriously, though, if that stuff really bothers you I wouldn't check out the site.

Also, Mich, you'll like this: Zombie Outbreak in Cambodia

The original page has been taken off the web and so this copy and paste of the article will have to do. This is what the original article looked like before it was taken down.

[Mich]

Wil, one multitool isn't enough. I have at least three on me at all times, in addition to my Buck knife and microtool.

Lyons, that was disappointing.

And anyone who likes webcomics and zombies should check out Dead Winter. It's about a waitress and an assassin and a nurse and a plumber, and it's not Left 4 Dead (which is amazing, nonetheless).

[zeroguy]

Zebra F-301 pen

These are awesome.

[Wil]

Zebra F-301 pen

These are awesome.

I like the F-701's better... but they're kind of big and hard to keep in a pocket comfortably. But yeah, Zebra pens are AWESOME pens.

Wil, one multitool isn't enough. I have at least three on me at all times, in addition to my Buck knife and microtool.

THREE? What could you possibly need three for? If you need all the different tools just get 141 in 1 Knife!

[LilBee91]

I concur with the awesomeness of Zebra pens. When I lose one, I almost shed tears. It's awful.

[CezeN]

http://www.oneplusyou.com/q

look for the zombie apocalypse one
I have a 47% chance of surviving

[Wil]

http://www.oneplusyou.com/q

62% Chance... I need to store more food and be more apathetic towards people... wouldn't hurt to get in better shape either...


Some updates.


You can see my first paracord lanyard there on my keychain, as well as my knife, flashlight, and Rite In The Rain weatherproof notebook. I took a page of it, submersed it under water, took it out, and wrote on it with a pen without any problems. Dried and worked just perfectly.


Closeup of my keychain which shows the lanyard, the Utility Key thing, and the can opener.


Pictures and video of my programmable AA LED flashlight. It also runs on rechargeable NiMH or Li-Ion batteries. Min output is about 2lumens, max output is about ~140lumens. Run time is about 1:10hr on max and 20hr on minimum. Fully programmable from the output level of each mode, to the number of modes, to the output of the mode. Has SOS strobe, locator beacon strobe, and "rave party" strobe.


My Benchmade Mini-Griptilian knife. Quite a nice knife. Has an AXIS lock which makes it essentially a switchblade without it being illegal to carry concealed.

I think I am about maxed for what I can carry on my person. Now to just stock up on canned food, learn to run further for longer, and buy my own handgun (guns in house, but in a safe so difficult to get to)... but that's some time down the road.

[Eaquae Legit]

Maybe I'm missing something, but what's so special about a Zebra pen?

Anyway, all of my keychains are functional: FOX-40 whistle, Sharpie pen, folding scissors, mini-flashlight, chapstick. (Maybe that last one won't be any use against zombies, but at least I won't attract them with the smell of blood from my cracked and bleeding lips. How much like sharks are zombies, anyway?) My keychain also has my bike key, which, while not an weapon in itself, will help me escape the shambling hordes.

I lose points for my concern for other lives, but I win points for a certain streak of practicality/awareness of narrativium.

[Syphon the Sun]

79%. I need more food and to be in better shape.

I also got marked down for wanting to search for my wife, but I don't see that changing. Hey, at least I'd shoot her in the head if she was already a zombie.

ETA: I don't have time right now, but I'll probably post later with my survival kit, and I might even toss in a few pictures.

[Gravity Defier]

Hehehe.

[elfprince13]

75% Chance of Survival! I need to get in better shape, and be less heroic >_< my homemade explosive/incendiary skills are well honed though...who needs guns when you can make a thermite grenade?

[Mich]

Hehehe.

Hee hee. That's pretty hilarious. Wish that I could think of things like that... instead I program boring things, like Google-Earth ripoffs, instead of construction signs.

[zeroguy]

Not just zombies, but Nazi zombies. See, they just went too far, there, that's really scary.

[Mich]

I would like to announce that my friend told me that I was on his hand-picked team of zombie survivalists, one of the four (including him), and I wasn't even the comic relief that would die to make everyone sad without effecting the plot!

Ha ha!

[Froth]

Zombies?

If anything its Aliens.

And if not aliens, then robots. But thats still not likely.

But if it is aliens. well...Were screwed. We have a better chance with Zombies.

I only have a 53% chance of survival. I dont have any guns, and my morals are too intact to survive. Im okay with the moral thing, but dammit! Where are my guns!

[Syphon the Sun]

While writing his will, a guy I know put in a specific clause requesting metal plates be put in his head "in case any of that Night of the Living Dead s*** goes down." He explained it as an effort to be the most badass zombie, as headshots wouldn't take him down.

[mr_thebrain]

how do you put that in legal terms?

[Syphon the Sun]

Most states probate holographic wills, so it doesn't really need to be in legal terms. Even in states that don't, however, legal language isn't necessary as long as your intent is clear and you have attesting witnesses.

[Yebra]

Most states probate holographic wills, so it doesn't really need to be in legal terms. Even in states that don't, however, legal language isn't necessary as long as your intent is clear and you have attesting witnesses.

For a moment there I was very excited as I thought you were talking about the next stop up from video wills.

[Mich]

Stupid Syphon, making 3D wills sound boring.

[thoughtreader]

I had zombies on my wedding cake this weekend...

[/img]

[Luet]

I don't know about everyone else but I can't see your picture.