Spider Dance

[VelvetElvis]

A good link, really.

It restricts almost everything.

[mr_thebrain]

c'mon guys, this is not a hipaa thread. while hippa sucks, it doesn't make me squirm. so. could we get back on track?

thanks

[Bevis]

Okay, track on back we are. Here's another one I found in the news. And since I haven't posted anything dealing with the horrors of abused daddy parts....

Zacherya McGrew, of Wichita KA, got together with some friends and decided to kidnap a guy. Some reports say it was over a dispute of stereo speakers. Either way, Zach's wavin' a pistol around like he's Billy Bad Ass then shoves it away in the waistband of his pants.
BANG The gun goes off.
The bullet hit his left testicle. He cringes (as would I) causing the gun to go off again. No you evil little degus, this time it went into his left calf. The police caught up with McGrew when he went to the hospital for treatment.
Yeah, I agree. It would have been a better story if the second bullet had also hit home.

[eriador]

How about the guy who slid a knife into the waistband of his pants?

Perfect aim too. I don't remember where I heard that though...

That would suck.

[LilBee91]

I'm being reminded of one of Moody's comments in OotP. Wands in back pockets are bad ideas, apparently.

[eriador]

A buttock is nothing compared to all of the "daddy parts," and I have a feeling that magic is slightly less gruesome than a knife.

[Mahatma]

I'm being reminded of one of Moody's comments in OotP. Wands in back pockets are bad ideas, apparently.

heehee... that part always makes me giggle, especially when Tonks pipes in

[eriador]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xKqbzd7HgQ

A bunch of guys playing first with an electric dog collar, then a taser. Every time you just want to say "don't do it." Watching this made me do the spider dance; how about you?

[lyons24000]

I watched it and those people are idiots. I think they are trying to be another Jackass.

[eriador]

...except stupider.

[Bevis]

My buddy Jesse looked in the mirror one morning to see a pimple on the side of his nose. You know the kind, a wide red swell that shoots a screeching banshee alarm of pain across your face every time you touch it. He let it fester some days to see if it would sort itself out. The zit never even formed a head. He finally decided it was time to take matters into his own hands. So Jesse placed a forefinger on either side of the blemish and he squeezed. And squeezed. And squeezed.

Suddenly an inaudible pop left a dirty yellow bead stuck to his bathroom mirror. The shocking sting of a very small patch of flesh exploding brought tears to his eyes. Watery blood began leaking from the new hole in his nose. Jesse tore a square of toilet paper and wiped his wound. He then saw a short black hair standing straight up in the tiny crater.

His vanity, already suffering from days impersonating a certain reighndeer, snapped at the injustice of a hair growing on his nose. Without thought he pinched the black weed beetween his finger & thumbnail and yanked it out. This brought the unexpected pain of plucking a hair the inside of his nostril.

That's right, my friend didn't realise he had an ingrown hair inside his nose. The offending dust catcher had pushed itself through the skin enough to infect the outer part of his nostril.

Admittedly, the first time he told me this I didn't spider dance so much as lose myself laughing.