Philotic Web

You,

I was attempting civility. I know you read what I wished... to talk. I said not today, but I didn't mean take your time. I don't want to wait a week, or a month. So, instead I'll just toss civility out the window; I'll just go back to using this format. I had a list of things I wished to talk about.. so I'll go ahead and just cover those points. I'd much rather have talked to you over these things, but since that doesn't look like it's going to happen...


1. My gift was NOT intended to "elicit a response". It was not being used as a way to force you into talking with me. It was not used to make you feel bad. It was NOT used to do anything of the sort. The worst thought that crossed my mind in regards to my gift was "Maybe she'll see what a good Birthday gift is like". So horrible of me. I expected nothing but a simple thanks, and not even that was given. You're very welcome.


2. This might be a tough concept to understand, but googling "tough love" might be a good start. I write what I write in the hopes that you will recognize what you do. I do care for you, and that's why I do it. I don't want to see you make mistakes and have to learn things the hard way, years down the road. I don't want to see you hurt, or for you to hurt other people.

I am not nor have I tried to change you, or manipulate you, into being something /I/ want. I personally believe that if I do something that others may deem stupid, I'd rather them tell me about it so I can consider it, and change if need be. I do not believe it right to "accept people as they are" when they do things to damage not only themselves but others as well. I write what I write in the hopes that you will consider what you do and make better choices down the line.

I hardly expect you to understand, and you probably despise me, but I don't write things to hurt you. You may hurt because of what I write, but why do you hurt? Is it because what I say is mean... or is it because what I say is true? If it is mean, I fully expect you to just shrug it off. Just think about it a minute. Would you rather someone hate the way you act sometimes but "accept you as you are", or would you rather someone tell you what you do?

The problem is that I care too much. You're the only person whom I actually care about what happens to. I can give people advice, or ideas, or support, but in the end I do not care. I do not go out of my way to help them because I do not care. The fact that after so long I'm still doing all of this must mean that I care. I do care.


3. You have changed a bit and this is good. From what I can tell you've somewhat learned to care for others and let those others care for you. You don't lie... or wish to lie as much. You see what a good person can do and become. Hopefully you understand that you can be and do whatever you want in this life. Dagney Tagart and beyond. Keep going. Live life for you, not for others. Be happy, even if that means you must leave unhappiness in your wake.


4. I've also changed a little. I've learned a lot. But I've not changed so much that you don't know me anymore. For some reason whenever I cease talking to someone for a length of time they always believe I have changed. Maybe I write different, or I've learned new things, and my appearance is different, but I've not changed who I am. I like who I am. You just don't know me as fully as I know you as you're hesitant to ask questions. I'm hesitant to tell people about myself without them questioning. Just a quirk of mine.. not wanting to impose.


5. I don't want to let you go as I believe the reasons behind it are inherently illogical. I confronted you about something which was ultimately true and you decided that we should stop talking because of it. Why was this? I understand your need to go out and be a "promiscuous" teenage girl. That is perfectly fine and wonderful. What makes it any less true now than it did before I confronted you? What makes this so much harder to talk now? I hardly doubt either of us have changed so much as to where we dislike talking.


I'll say it one final time. I never intended to hurt you... what I wrote was never meant to cause you pain. It was meant to help you, and maybe some day you will see this. Maybe some day you'll realize that I'm not just some monster whose soul purpose is to get back at you for being you and hurting me. I don't know how much I can say it but I CARE FOR YOU. I want NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS FOR YOU. If for those good things to happen, even if it is years down the line, means that I must be a bit harsh on you then so be it. I was not trying to mould you into something I want, I was attempting to guide you into being the best I know you can be.

Anyway, I guess you can consider it "ended" now. I won't say, do, or send you anything else. If what you truly want is to not talk to me and not have me talk to you, then so be it. I just hope one day you don't see me as being such a horrible person. I just hope one day you understand my intentions. Please, try and have a happy life. Do something enjoyable every day, and don't worry about others so much. The most important person to you should be you... followed only by someone whom you really love.

-- Wil

Dear You,

1827 days I have loved you, and I will continue to for 1827 more.

--Cam

Dear you,

I am very excited to hear back from you. Know that I won't do anything to upset you. I hope you will be able to see what I can do.

-Jasmine

Dear you,

If you did anything worth a damn, I'd probably have some respect for you. But you don't, so stop trying to upset me by saying that you're dissapointed in us. It's our right to print, and that's what we will do. I ddn't leave volleyball for you to f*** up our yearbook. We have college work and homework to do. Homework that affects our grade which affects where we go to college which affects our lives, so don't pull that s*** about you not having time to grade papers, becuase you already have a job!

Now it is my turn to say I am very dissapointed in you. I thought we could come to an agreement, but obviously you didn't think that way. Look at it this way: If you did pull them out, you would've had a lawsuit. The parents would've been upset because all of them support the superlatives, and the entire school will be at your throat because they'll want to know why you wanted them out. If you DIDNT think to pull them out, you'd only have one student on your back.

I apologize if you think I'm being a bit harsh accusing you of being such a s*** advisor, but you are. Both of us think so, and the school knows it.

-me

Dear you,

I was just sitting here going through old PMs when I came across one of my favorite from quite a while ago. I just had to have is said somewhere that I happen to think you are one of the most amazing people in my life.

: )

- Twinny

Dear You,

You've been through so much.. just tell me how I can help you? You deserve happiness and you're worth everything. Let me show you! Let me give you all that you deserve. I know this weekend was hard, and I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there to give you a hug because I think that you needed someone there. I want you to have another day like this past Friday. That was such a beautiful day, it was perfect. Even though such terrible things were going on around you, you were able to find happiness amidst them. You believed what I've been hoping for, what I know is true. You believed you were worth something. And you are. There's no getting around it. You're a beautiful person because you care and you try. But life doesn't like that, I guess. It's trying so hard to bring you down. But, that's why you have to fight harder. Because it's the truth, and if you find that you can no longer fight, I am always here to fight for you.

You inspire such hope and courage in me and you make me so happy. I want to show you how you've changed me.

Human.

Dear you,

Please keep out of my dreams. It's not nice.

Dear you,

As I skipped out the door to visit our ladies, I happily told my family that "We only have one to visit, so it shouldn't be long." I forgot that this meant we had no next appointment to keep things moving forward. 1 1/2 hours! I thought I'd made it out. I sat in my car, and you still managed to talk to me for another 10 minutes.

You are a lovely, kind, and dear person who doesn't seem to think bad of anyone. But please... please please learn how to not talk so much! I feel guilty that this is driving me so insane.

Sincerely,

me

Dear you,

I don't dream about you anymore. I miss dreaming about you.

-me

Dear you,
I saw his name, and-it being the same as yours though meaning more when it is yours- thought it was you and for a moment I was excited and sad, both at the same time. I really missed you right then. Knowing you, you either have no clue whatsoever that I am even talking to you, or you know without a doubt this is for you; neither satisfies me. Do me a favor, will you? Think of me from time to time, miss me a little, too. Pretend that if things were a little different, maybe...

-Me

Dear you...and you (just to be safe),
Just so there is no confusion...that is absolutely, without a doubt not for you.

Dear You,

Come on AIM more often! Wanting to keep up with your life and not being able to is increasingly frustrating.

Dear you all,

I really, really don't need the pressure you are putting on me to spend every available minute working on any given project. Especially as there are multiple group projects I am working on, all of which are demanding I fill in every spare gap with working on it. Nevermind the two individual projects I have to have done in a similar time frame. I spend more time suppressing panic than I do actually working. Please stop doing this to me.

~your group member


Dear you,

To the best of my knowledge, I have never done anything to cause you to dislike me. In fact, from what I can tell, you are acting like this because you are jealous of someone else and you are just taking it out on me. All the same, that does not justify only acknowledging my existence to take offence at being amused at something you are presumably doing because you derive some degree of amusement from it yourself. Other than that you don't even look up when I enter the room. You are among the most ill-mannered children I have ever come across. I would really appreciate it if you would show a little courtesy. You don't have to like me -- even irrationally dislike me if you wish. But I would appreciate it if you would do what so many others do for you and pretend.

Me.

Dear you,

First of all, happy birthday.

Seconded, my only problem with your celebration, is that you ruined it for yourself; and the result was your idiotic behaviour.

Yes, I know that you'll have much more of those in the future, but at this young age, did you really have to? Think about the future; for your own sake.

And even though we aren't close together, maybe you don't like me (I dunno), and even this isn't my business- I still worry about you.

And above all, I wish you a happy birthday. May you have many more of these.

Dear You,

You are incredibly childish, immature, and the reason academia no longer appeals to me. What if, God forbid, a fruitcake like you is the chair of my department?

I really hate you.

It takes a LOT for me to even slightly dislike a person. They have to earn it.

Your continued avoidance of me and your stupid petty power plays are not helping. Go on, though, keep digging. It only makes you look stupider. Although, I'm surprised that's possible.

Your Pissed Off GTA (who doesn't get paid enough to deal with your s***.)

Dear you,

If I wasn't so concerned about your getting sleep, I would probably be calling you, and making you come to my common room and hold me while I cried, because I'm so stressed out right now. I'm not because you're a silly boy who has gotten seven hours of sleep in the last five days and I like you too much to not be concerned. Especially given your loss of motor control.

Me



Dear you,

If you weren't so stressed, I would be calling you and coming to your room so I could curl up there and, well--cry, because I'm stressed and really, really worried about this entire situation.

Me



Dear you,

I wish you weren't an ocean away, because I miss you and need you back here because I love you more than I've ever loved anyone but my family and K, and you always know the right thing to say to make everything better. I want you and I to both be home so I could take the train out to you and make frozen drinks and then curl up in your bed and have you hug me and tell me it'll be all right and just be comforting and there like you've always been when I needed you, no matter what. And I want to be reminded that I'm at the top of someone's list, even if I share that spot with family. Especially since I share that spot.

Me



Dear you,

I wish you weren't an ocean away, too, because I want you to distract me and hug me and remind me that I'm loved and that I'm your best friend and that I can count on you. I know I can. I just need the reminder.

Me

DY,
Ha. Thanks. Helped out ever so much.


DY,
I misses you. And I have the awful feeling this is going to get much worse before it gets any better.

Dear You,

Long ago I have loved you
And though you have all but forgotten me
And your love had all but disappeared
Mine for you remains
And remain it shall
Until I die.

Dear You,

I wish we could be friends again. I really need a hug. But I need not to have a friend who is self-centered and self-serving even more that I need that hug. I wish you cared about something other than forcing your decisions on others. I find it rather fitting that you SO forces decisions on you now. I wish it made me sadder. But mostly, I wish we were still friends. And I wish you knew that we aren't friends anymore.

-Helen

Dear you,
You are one of my favorite people in this entire world, if not the favorite person. At least, you used to be. For the past two years, I've been standing off to the side, figuratively speaking, while you grow and start to really live your life and I have been scratching my head wondering what the hell happened to you. You were lonely, and so I am happy for your becoming more outgoing and making all these new friends. But I'm not sure they've been good influences on you. Drinking, slacking on homework to the point of almost failing classes and not graduating in 4 years, spending way more money than you have to keep up with them, forgetting about the family who was there for you all those years when the friends were assholes...how easy it was for you to turn your back on all those things you once claimed were so central to who you are. There's also that small issue of you sounding like an idiot when you drop the slang that I only expected to hear from the major idiots of the world.

All of this to say you're turning 21 tomorrow and I'm so scared that this is a turning point for you that's going to make things messy.

I love you, I'll be here for you no matter what and you know that. But please, please, please, don't keep giving me reasons to be disappointed in you. It doesn't feel pleasant to think of you the way I think of certain other people and I'm looking forward to the day when I can look at you or talk to you again and think I'm talking to my baby brother and not some stranger who looks and sounds sort of like him.

-Your big sister

Dear You,

You are by far the worst landlord I've ever had to deal with. Fortunately, your not the worst person I've ever had to live with as that honour goes to Chicken Boy, but you are the worst landlord I've ever had to deal with. And yes, I realize that I'm repeating myself.

I've heard of asking for the last month's rent up front as a security deposit. I understand that. But, an entire month's worth of rent as a deposit, which you say you will pay back on the day I hand over my keys?
WHY didn't you mention that when I first handed over the cheques? You weren't clear about that when I first came to look at this place.

I've had landlords ask for a cleaning deposit which was a fraction of the rent, but no, you're asking for essentially five months' rent paid by me to you, and then you will pay me one month's rent on the last day? Seriously? Why not be happy with the rent I've already paid instead of wasting our banks' time and 2 extra cheques?

Am I such a rabble rouser that you think that in the last month I'm going to completely trash your place? It's not worth it, it may look pretty, but the toxic, petty, negative energy floating around this place negates any of the value.

Why do you feel like you need to protect yourself against me? Buddy, I don't have the build, the will, or the inclination for revenge to trash your place or cheat you. I'm just not that kind of person. When I say I'm going to do something (or not do something, as in I'm not going to ruin your house) I honour my word.

It's too bad that I don't expect you to honour yours.

Signed,

Your royally unimpressed boarder.

Dear Yous,

You want me. You know you want me. I'm unique. I'm special. I'm going to be a good fit and fun to work with. I'm smart. I'm approachable. I'm awesome. I've got a great background. I've worked in a hospital setting. My supervisors love me. I wrote a CUTE autobiography essay.

Please. Give me a chance. Offer me an interview. One of you. Please. I beg you. Let me know.

One of Hundreds of Applicants

Dear You,

Oh, I am so embarrassed.

Please, please, please ignore my cutesy idiocy and give me an interview anyways.

Your Humble and Beseeching Applicant

Dear You,

Thank you for understanding the major point of the story and not getting sidetracked by the shiny details. Thank you for taking me seriously and not underrating the relationship, bond, or my feelings about missing her. Even if that's what I was trying to do. Thank you for waiting patiently through my "resistance." This is what I wanted to talk about the first time you asked. Remember the session where you couldn't get me to talk at all? Yeah. That was this.

Ten O'Clock Wednesdays

Dear You,

Good night. Love you.

Me

Dear you,
How ironic is it that you said what you did, but I've given up on you? Because this is me, absolutely waving that little white flag. I give up. Completely.

[blank]

Dear You,

So, when are you going to York? Do you have res info yet, or registration stuff? You excited? I know I am. I don't know you well but I still think it's kinda cool I'll be going to school with another Pwebber again. This makes 3 for 3!

- Overseas Me

Dear you,

I may or may not be! Sorry if I've gotten your pwebber-related hopes up. I'm waiting to hear back from a few more unis (with scary interviews, ick!) Whichever way I go I won't be going anywhere till next fall, I take it you'll be going sooner to enjoy the company of many ducks?

- Other Overseas Me

Dear You,

Blast! Ah well, your education is more important than me continuing my perfect record. I'll be moving in Jan, hopefully, though the visa process is looking more and more like it'll be mired in the Christmas slump. I don't really want to wait any longer than necessary to get all this blasted red tape done with.

- Soon to be not overseas

P.S. I still have no idea if the original DY was to me (and I can't think how it could, directly, since we've never really talked much), but hey, !

Dear You,

It's your turn!

Scrabulous

Dear You,

Sorry, I've been so busy! I played, though.

-- Scrabbler

Dear You,

I know you have! But, you know, I'm procrastinating and it's nice to have people helping me do it.

Me

Dear You,

What am I going to do without you?

Dear you,

Who really knows? As long as I've brought more uncertainty into the world I'm happy.

Me.



Dear you,

I'm thinking of you right now, and I can guarantee you're not thinking about me. This really is a crappy arrangement and I might have to protest to the management about it.

Someone who wants out of this and wishes he were less of a walking cliche.

Dear you,

What I'm asking is, perhaps, not so fair, but still...PLEASE UPDATE MORE! I need something to make me laugh.

-Your fan




Dear world,

HOORAY! It's finally coming off tommorow! FINALLY! ^_________________^

-Anxious teen

Dear You,

Thank you for being my research source! It was very helpful.

Me

Dear you,

Anyone know a way to hunt down crickets and kill them because Jimmy is outside and will not shut up and I am normally a very stubborn person, when it comes to noises like that.