Girly Stuff

[powerfulcheese04]

So, my pweb girls, I have an etiquette question!

Nate and I just spent a long weekend in RI with his family. We took some pictures on my camera that she expressed some interest in having. I sent them (and some other pictures Nate wanted) to Nate... and he said he thought his mom would love to get them from me with a little note.

Ok, great! I have plenty to say in the little note (what a great time we had, how much I appreciate them having us, a request for the pictures she took while we were there.)


But... what do I call her?

(I avoid this problem in person by just addressing her while looking at her and avoid calling her anything!)

[Petra456]

I never know what to call people! This is sort of a problem for me too because I never use people's name. I use a nickname or something like that to get someone's attention (unless it's at work where there really is no other way to address people).

I have no clue what to call Will's mom. I would ask him, but he's in the shower right now.

[powerfulcheese04]

I'm leaning toward Mrs. LastName.... but, they're not very formal people, and Nate's best friend calls her by her first name... and when saying goodbye last weekend she said she loves me... so... I don't know. Does that make you first name basis?

If she was from the south, I could pretty safely go with Ms. FirstName, but... she's from New England and I think the Ms./Mr. FirstName thing is pretty Southern.

I think better safe than sorry and go with Mrs. LastName?


*sigh*

[neo-dragon]

I'm obviously not a lady, but I would go with Mrs. Lastname. If it seems overly formal, she'll probably find it charming and say something like, "Aw... call me (first name)" the next time it comes up.

[powerfulcheese04]

Hahaha, thanks. I ended up putting this here, because I'm pretty sure girls are the only people who agonize about this like this.

[neo-dragon]

Shows what you know.

[Eddie Pinz]

I think you should go with 'Mrs. Nate's Mom'. Problem solved.

[Petra456]

Haha, I actually think that's pretty cute!

[Jayelle]

I would put first name - that's what I've called my mother-in-law from pretty early on. I feel that once you're an adult, you can call people my their first name.
Also, it can feel awkward, but it's not bad to ask what they'd like to be called.

[locke]

you can be more formal in writing than you would be in person.

write it both ways, Mrs Last name and also as First Name. See which one makes you feel more awkward, send the one you feel less awkward about.

[neo-dragon]

btw, have you asked Nate how he thinks you should address his mom?

[locke]

btw, have you asked Nate how he thinks you should address his mom?

speculating here, but it probably went something like this, pauses for Kimmy's response. :-p

*shrug* "I dunno, I call her Mom. Want me to ask her for you?" *pause* "Sorry, I didn't want to embarass you, I won't ask her... Why are you so worried about this?" *pause* "if this is gonna stress you out I can just email the photos like you wanted me too."

[powerfulcheese04]

Haha, yeah. Adam's rendition is pretty much how it went.

K: What should I call your mom in this email I'm sending her.
N: I dunno...
K: Well, that's helpful.
N: I guess I could ask.
K: Uh. No. That would defeat the whole purpose of me sending this, not you.
N: Uh. Ok. Why are you so worried about this?
K: Nevermind. I'll figure it out.

[jotabe]

why not calling her "mom" or "auntie"? Even better, "Dear Mom Lastname" polite, formal, informal and endearing!

[Mich]

why not calling her "mom" or "auntie"? Even better, "Dear Mom Lastname" polite, formal, informal and endearing!

Other than the "Mrs. and wait for her to tell you to call her by her first name," this is the best answer I've head so far.

[starlooker]

If she likes you, she won't care. She'll be thrilled to get the pictures and note.

If she doesn't like you, it's not going to make a difference. It'll be wrong.

Also, if she was a major stickler for formality, hopefully Nate would've warned you. Since he didn't really know, that probably means it's not a big deal to her -- if it were, he'd know.

[Eaquae Legit]

I know we have a large contingent of silicone cup users here, but does anybody use reusable fabric pads? If so, which brand, what do you like, etc.?

[Young Val]

My friend Amanda owns a business, Modern Acorn, making and selling cloth pads. Her website is here, http://www.modernacorn.com/, which links to her shops and her blog. The shops are mostly empty right now, but I think she's working on a batch to put up soon. In her etsy shop if you look at her feedback and previously sold items you can get a great sense of her products.

I know she's my friend, but I have to say that she makes everything with the utmost attention to detail and is just a really stellar girl on all counts!

Her blog is really, cute, too!

[Luet]

I use cloth pantyliners as backup for my cup. I have made a couple from the pantyliner pattern here. I have also bought a couple awesome ones from Kelly's friend Amanda. Unfortunately, I think she's moving away from making pads and making more quilts and stuff. But I think she does custom orders if you contact her. I've never used cloth pads alone but only as a back up. I know there is a LJ Cloth Pad community too.

[Eaquae Legit]

I basically want them as a backup. I don't think I could handle them as a primary means of defence. I'd need dozens! With the cup, I need fewer and fewer, and I really love the non-hassle of just having what I need without a run to the supermarket. I hadn't thought of making them. Wow, do I ever feel smart. I may do that, actually. It's the sort of thing that would take my mother ten minutes to do. I've found a couple of local stores here that carry them that I might check out for a prototype, both really good small businesses I like supporting for other stuff.

Thanks for the help, though, and I'm going to keep a link to Amanda, Kelly, in case I can't find more when I move.

[Luet]

I'm leaving in the morning for a trip to CA to see my inlaws and my new niece and my period is about to start...I just wanted to complain. Nothing like a 7 hour plane ride with horrible cramps. At least I've already had the pleasure of emptying my cup in the plane bathroom once before, so I know I can handle that part.

[Gravity Defier]

I realize this may be more appropriate elsewhere but this seems like an okay fit to me.

I hate February/Valentine's Day. Not for the more acceptable reason that "It's too commercial" but because I've possibly only once had one that went even remotely the way I've always wanted one. You know, where a guy sees me as a female he wants to appreciate above all others and I happen to like him above all other guys. A day where he says, "I'm making you priority number one today." Though, it'd be nice to be a high priority all the time. A reciprocal relationship- and there's the kicker.

Then there are the women who tell me I should embrace my singledom (all of whom are in relationships, mostly longterm) and not act as though I need to be romantically recognized on this one day (I'd take just about any day from the right guy). Of course I don't need it; I won't die without it, anyhow. But I can't deny there is always this deep down feeling of inadequacy when I find myself alone yet again. It serves as a reminder that I've failed on the other 364 days of the year to capture the heart/mind of even one person, year after year.

Am I asking for a stuffed animal, a piece of jewelry, a waxy tasting box of chocolates, flowers that will die within a week, a sappy mass-produced card that a guy picked out the morning of and that will likely require he scratch out some inappropriate title on because all the "good" cards were taken by women to give to their SOs in the weeks leading up to the day? Hell no.

I'd just like to hear "I have been here for and with you, I'm here with you today, I'll be there for and with you going into the future. You are the most important non-relative female in my life and I like/love you. Can we please have sex?"

If that's too much, I'd settle for just about anything that showed a guy was trying in his own way to show me how much I mean to him.



*sigh*

[steph]

My baby hasn't eaten in 3 hours (she normally eats every 2, but she's still sleeping) and my chest is HUGE! It's weird to literally have it grow before my eyes. I'm going to go wake her up though, because it's starting to get painful.

Is it weird that my eyelashes are shorter ever since she was born? I normally have long, gorgeous black eyelashes and right now they are kinda stubby. It's sad.

[Jayelle]

I understand, Steph! Sucks to have to wake her up, though. I'm a firm believer in letting sleeping babies lie - but I understand it's not fun when things get painful.


Kinda a girlie thing - I really want to go see The Babies documentary, but it's not playing anywhere in my city! I hope it comes here eventually so my friend and I can have our girls night out and see it. We've been loving the trailer for months and months.

[Eaquae Legit]

*giggle*

I want to see that now, Jan!

[Luet]

I think that I've figured out that I get severely depressed a couple days before my period. I had suspected this for awhile but I hadn't been paying attention well enough, so I used past Bob posts to correlate the dates. Does anyone else experience this? Like near suicidally depressed. I'm way overdue for my annual and they just called to reschedule it so I won't be seeing my ob/gyn until the end of August. I'm not sure that there is anything that can be done about it, since I'm already on an antidepressant and bcp's never worked for me. Anyway, just wanted to see if anyone else could relate.

[Young Val]

:::hugs Nomi:::

My mood swings get pretty violent just before my period, but I can't say that I experience any crippling depression.

[jotabe]

Not that i intend to use that info in my own interest... but in which parts of the cycle is a woman's mood better and worse? >_>

[Jayelle]

PMS stands for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. "Pre" means before. Menstrual refers to a period.
So, a woman suffers from possible crankiness just before her period.

[Eaquae Legit]

I haven't experienced it myself, Nomi, but I know someone who does. Hip hip hooray, the bcp makes it even WORSE for her.

I don't have any ideas what you can do about it, except try to plan for it. Could your husband make extra efforts to snuggle and reassure you and plan comfort foods? I find when I know I'm depressed that planning fewer social commitments helps a lot.

These are all the ideas I've got, but I'll have you in my prayers and I really hope you can figure something out!

[Luet]

Thanks guys. I hope that just knowing what is causing it and that it will pass will help to some degree. Since, of course, knowing is half the battle!

[Gravity Defier]

I was going to respond to this earlier but it showed up about 2 minutes before I had to leave for my class.

There is no way for me to confirm it at the moment, not without being very good at distinguishing what I think are causes and getting a professional opinion of course, but I've long suspected I've had something along the lines of PMDD. There is some sort of cyclical nature to my depression and while family loves to throw wrenches into that cycle, it still tends to be somewhat predictable and I can tell when I'm starting to slide, what I'm going to want to do, etc.

It, thankfully, hasn't gotten to suicidal but I'm not going to lie; I will occasionally find myself thinking I wouldn't object to some outside force taking me out. Or is that a suicidal thought? I haven't paid enough attention to know if that happens before my period, though, or if it's just flat out, old school depression. I get the breast tenderness, I get the altered view of body pretty badly (like for the past two days, I haven't been willing to look in the mirror at all).

I don't know. I'd love to be able to point to something physical/chemical/hormonal and say that is why I feel the way I do so often but the idea of asking an MD to confirm that is scarier than asking a therapist if I'm screwed in the head.


I try to combat it and do pretty well if I'm good about it; exercise, sleep, eat well, all the stuff you always hear.




I should ask Brat for our chat logs; I could compare the past two years of those (oh, he knew about every single moment of irritation/anger/sadness, better than Bob would) with my periods for the same time.

[starlooker]

I hear you, Nom. (Not surprising given our several health similarities. ) Around college, I started noticing that -- though I was depressed most of the time -- I was only deeply, darkly, hopelessly, death-wishly depressed about every four weeks. Since then, my mood overall has improved about a gazillion-fold, but my worst days are usually a few days before my period. It's almost my barometer for how I'm doing overall -- if that's the worst day, it gives me an approximation for how I'm doing overall.

Seriously, knowing IS half the battle. Knowing there was a concrete reason and it would lift in a few days has been immensely helpful.

[Eaquae Legit]

One of my friends (a shy lurker) was reading this thread, and she's a labour & delivery nurse. She asked me to share that low progesterone levels have been also linked to post-partum depression. When women with PPD take progesterone supplements, their PPD is treated - I'm not sure how PMS-related depression is treated, but I'm assuming it's the same way.

http://www.naprotechnology.com/pms.htm

So that might be something to bring up with your ob/gyns.

[Young Val]

I've been slightly spotting all week, which is just annoying. I think it has something to do with the flights to and from Boston and the changes back and forth at land altitude? My body does not like pressure changes at ALL and it's been through a lot of them this week. Not to mention high levels of stress (spending extended periods of time with my mother) and dramatic changes in diet (hello endless BBQ and more alcohol consumption in a weekend than I've probably had all year to date).

Mostly I am just annoyed because I had planned to skip over my period this month (my active pills end on Saturday and my birthday is next week!) but now I'm wondering if that won't just mess things up more.

Stupid period.