Philotic Web

I didn't know you were in LA!
I love Los Angeles too; albeit, I've only spent a few months there. I'm itching to get back - partially due to my unfathomable love for movies and film history.

Yay Nicole! I'm so happy for you!

Bob,

So, again, I got the word I'm moving back to Canada. I've done, quite literally, 2 hours of work and 5 hours of work-related driving all week thus far, and thats all I expect to do. I find out tomorrow exactly where I'm moving to (and, thus, when I'll be leaving); but the gist of it is that I am at work in Canada on Monday. I'm keeping the apartment, and the company is covering the rent and the like while I'm not here; and just living wherever until it either gets busier here or they decide to pull me out for good, and I move all my stuff back.

I'm excited. I miss Canada. I just really wish I had a little more....security. I know where I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and not a whole lot after that; and I want that feeling back. I love the jumble of this job, the way that every day is a different experience, but I've realized that as much as I have the chaos in my work I need that to be within the construct of familiarity of living in a consistent place and being able to make plans. I can't plan anything living in limbo like this. I'm glad Amanda came over the other night and broke things off, it's one less thing I need to worry about with leaving so soon and for an indeterminate amount of time.

I just hope I can rebuild a social life for myself wherever I end up. I didn't have much of one when I left, and I'm really hoping I'm going to do at least as well as I have since I've been down here. I'm nervous, obviously - but at least I have my family around there. All else fails I've got my best friends in the world - my brothers - not very far away.

Next time you hear from me I'll be in another country...again.

--Cam

I didn't know you were in LA!
I love Los Angeles too; albeit, I've only spent a few months there. I'm itching to get back - partially due to my unfathomable love for movies and film history.

you're trying to turn me on, aren't you.



There's actually a weekly newsletter that covers all the old movie events around town for movie buffs called filmRadar. So very useful. for instance There's a double bill screening at USC this weekend of Ikiru and Wild Strawberries, and it's free!

Was the Sam & Max animated series any good?

I think I saw an episode of this. I found it stupid but funny; as "Sam & Max" as any other incarnation, I think.

Dear Bob,

I really didn't think it was possible to be this bored. Four more hours? Really?

-Pet

you're trying to turn me on, aren't you.



There's actually a weekly newsletter that covers all the old movie events around town for movie buffs called filmRadar. So very useful. for instance There's a double bill screening at USC this weekend of Ikiru and Wild Strawberries, and it's free!

Haha, you will have to become my new best friend - not only is that totally up my alley, but I spent a couple hours a few weeks ago trying to locate a copy of Wild Strawberries because I hadn't seen it in so long. Knoxville is hardly conducive to my movie habits. I'm DYING to see Rachel Getting Married, Happy-Go-Lucky, and I've Loved You So Long - none of which are playing here anytime soon, as far as I can see. I'm the kind of girl who will drive to Atlanta from Orlando for a movie though, so if they don't come soon, I'm begging my friends...
I will definitely be checking out the filmRadar.

On another note, Bob, I got a cold. I was so excited about halloween, and now it looks like I'll try to go to a party from 8-10ish. After that, I just want to cuddle and watch horror movies. My boyfriend wants to rent something neither of us has seen. I have hundreds of movies, and he's completely unwilling to look at any of them. But that's fun - I'm just wondering if I can find something *good* that I've never seen before at our local blockbuster.
We'll be watching movies dressed as Deathnote characters though. I got that much accomplished

Bob,

I had the third session with my new therapist today and the first one using the EMRD technique. It was very interesting. Much more powerful than I expected. I talked about one traumatic memory while intermittently pausing to follow her moving fingers back and forth with my eyes. After doing that for awhile, I felt like I had had a temporary emotional lobotomy. The intense thoughts and feelings I had at the beginning were somehow beyond my reach at the end. I was unable to think or feel anything deeply about it. It was very cool and it gave me more hope for the long term efficacy of this.

Haha, you will have to become my new best friend - not only is that totally up my alley, but I spent a couple hours a few weeks ago trying to locate a copy of Wild Strawberries because I hadn't seen it in so long. Knoxville is hardly conducive to my movie habits. I'm DYING to see Rachel Getting Married, Happy-Go-Lucky, and I've Loved You So Long - none of which are playing here anytime soon, as far as I can see. I'm the kind of girl who will drive to Atlanta from Orlando for a movie though, so if they don't come soon, I'm begging my friends...
I will definitely be checking out the filmRadar.

Definitely, contact me when you get to LA. I'm on the westside and I work in Hollywood, so I know those areas best, though I know pretty much all the reparatory houses for old movies. Happy Go Lucky and I've Loved You So Long are both on my too watch list for the weekend, along with W, Zach and Miri make a porno and Changling, I hope to get to two of those, but will be lucky to do so. :p

Wild Strawberries is sublime, I can't wait to see it on the big screen.

Have you seen the trailers for the Reader and Slumdog Millionaire? those have jumped up very high on my oscar watch list.

The Reader looks amazing. As a rule of thumb, Kate Winslet could sell me on nearly anything. She's my favorite young actress today.
Sunshine was excellent last summer, so I'm keeping an eye on Slumdog Millionaire.
I'm worried about The Changling - I was really looking forward to it, but as it came closer to releasing, I started to get my doubts. I'm hoping to be proven wrong though.
I'll be seeing Zack and Miri tommorrow night. I miss being able to see many movies at theatres in one weekend! I'll do Religulous and Zack and Miri this week, and that will have to satisfy me.
If I had to pick two oscar hopefuls, it'd be Revolutionary Road (I told you I loved Kate Winslet, but I also adore Sam Mendes) and The Curious Case of Benjiman Button (I'm looking forward to seeing what David Fincher can do to a love story).
I miss LA. I stayed out in Westwood at UCLA when I was there. There's this amazing cookie/ice cream shop called Diddy Reese, and the theatres in the area are stunning. Plus, once a week or so, you can stumble upon a movie premiere, which is interesting to say the least. AND there's a farmer's market on...Thursdays?
I can't wait to explore more of the area though. I traveled by bus to the studios I worked for and anything else I did for fun, so there are limits to what all I've seen.

what work did you do for the studios? PA?

Diddy Reese is all sorts of awesome and primary reason to go to the UCLA area. I even took my parents, grandma and sister there. as well as my brother and sister-in-law when they were in town, one of their favorite things about LA

Mostly PA work and art direction, with some script coverage, too.
Anything and everything I could get my hands on.
I've also done a lot of grip work, and dabbled a little in pre-production research, as well as post-production. Only Final Cut Pro though; I still haven't learned Avid.
I like to pretend that my "a little bit of everything" experience is a positive, but I have a feeling that most people see it as "She has no idea what she wants in life."
I've even acted
I guess it took me a while to decide specifically how I wanted to work in the industry, but I always knew it was my passion.

Bob,

I think I get it now, or rather, again.(...I never learn) Which kind of sucks but, now that I have been reminded, I think is also nice to know; understanding sometimes has a calming effect.

With that said, the difficult part is following through on fixing the problem. (You'll just have to trust me when I say this is the only way to take care of it...I know of another but not only would it piss other people off, it'd eventually upset me, too.) Wish me strength, because I need that more than luck.


Most sincerely,
G D

<whiney voice> Bob,
My boyfriend "found out" about pweb. I'm embarassed. I don't want him knowing my every thought. I like my solitude on some issues. My whole past is laid out here. Everything that went wrong in my biggest relationships over the past few years. Every little detail I'd rather not share. My thoughts on him.
It's not faaaaiiiiirr.
I LIKE my seperate place. Especially when it comes to protecting my past.

...I'd end the whiney voice here, but it'll continue anyway, so I'm gonna leave it open

Well, Nicole, at least a lot of pweb is gone. There's not a lot here at 3.0...

I know. It's really not *that* big of a deal; it's just strange.

Even though everyone in my life knows about pweb, as far as I know, none of them actually come here to read or post.

I can agree with wanting pweb to be secret.

Dear Bob,

I'm so tired! I've hit the end-of-semester burn out. I'm ready for this semester to be over.

A typical week in my life:
Monday:
7:30AM- get up/shower/breakfast/etc
9AM-5PM- class (including anatomy lab, which regularly leads to an allergic reaction, 1 hr lunch)
5:30-5:45PM- shower
5:45- 6:45- cook/eat dinner
6:45-9- study
9-10- chores as a study break (dishes, vacuuming, pay bills, etc)
10-11:45- study
11:45-midnight- talk to Nate
midnight- sleep

Tuesday:
7AM- get up
8AM-5PM class (1 hr lunch)
5:30-6:30- cook/eat dinner and relax a little
6:30-9- study
9-9:30- chores/study break
9:30-11:45- study
11:45-midnight- talk to Nate
midnight- sleep

Wednesday:
7AM- get up
8AM-3PM- class (including anatomy lab, 1 hr lunch)
3PM-5PM- usually some kind of meeting or study group at school
6-8PM - shower/study break/long dinner/watch a tivo-ed TV show
8-11:45PM- study
11:45-midnight- talk to Nate
midnight- sleep

Thursday:
7AM- get up
8AM-5PM- class (including anatomy lab, 3 hr lunch)
5:30-7- shower/cook/eat dinner/watch another tivo-ed TV show
7-10- study
10-10:30- chores
10-11:45PM- study
11:45-midnight- talk to Nate
midnight- sleep

Friday:
8 (or sometimes 8:30)AM- get up
10AM-noon: class
noon-5: chores/errands/nap!!

Actually, Fridays are kind of variable. I do some amount of studying. I also sometimes drive home, or other out of town places... I sometimes go out with friends in the evenings.



I'm ready for a break, Bob. Only 3.5 more weeks, then I get 5 weeks off! I can't wait!

I like having pweb as my own sacred haven. Very few people know "of" it, much less what or where it is. I remember the one time back on 2.0 when my little brother followed me on and started posting....that was really weird. I didn't like it, and that's precisely why he did it.

But I'm an arrogant prick now and my whole family knows it, so there's not much on here that would really upset them because I'll say it to their face. Can't say I'd really want them seeing all the emo s*** I post though, lol. And speaking of...

Bob,

I'm back home for 4 days and already I feel parts of what I hated when I was living here. I feel isolated again. I feel more isolated living in my house with my mom than I do living at home, even though I see friends even less often. Part of it is my own doing, and I realize that, and that's why I realized I needed to leave. I needed to be able to come home and not feel "on guard" for doing things that are me and just don't adhere to what's considered "okay." And it's not even really about what would, or has, actually happened, but more because I know something would come of it, however minor.

I so badly want to have local friends, still. I so badly want going out to not be a "chore" requiring "planning." I loved living right next to my boss, and good friend, in Ohio. Hell, one of my last days there he randomly knocks on my door and goes "hey I'm taking the dog to the park, wanna come?" I mean, that's so....innocent and simple, but it's cool to me to have that. I've never had that, never in my life. I have always had all my friends 30+ minutes away. Even in public school, believe it or not. I love the idea of friends that just come by unexpected once in a while. I really don't know how I'll fix this. I tried to work on it a little by getting my brother to go to a local bar with me the other night, that was alright. Wasn't really my kind of place, but the point is I got out to somewhere local. With local girls, for that matter. Unfortunately, the pretty ones had parties to go to that night....or a better bar. But that's beside the point.

The point is, Bob, I've spent every night since I got home with a friend or a brother, and it still isn't right here. I really do need to be out on my own, however costly that may be. Not now, or at least not until I get my stuff back from Ohio; but I can't do this long term.

--Cam

A typical week in my life:

You forgot--
Saturday: study for 12 hours
Sunday: study for 12 hours

unless it's the weekend after exams and then it's
Saturday: sleep in (anything past 8am), hopefully see your friends OUTSIDE of the school building/library/coffee shop or maybe see your family
Sunday: start reading for the next block

Best wishes for the rest of the semester--hang in there!

Dear Bob,

This is probably a very 'new student'y thing to be smiling about, but those moving shelves are very cool.

They really are.

yeah, the compact/modular shelving is absolutely awesome.

Bob,
f*** love. Seriously. f*** it.

Bob,

WTF? sunday the tv was not working. I didn't know why. I figured either my roommate hadn't paid satellite or had canceled it intending to switch to cable (which is how we get our internet) or someone couldn't figure out how to get the dvd player to work and had disconnected the satellite to connect the dvd player. regardless it only annoyed me for a moment and I didn't think about it.

Monday I asked one roommate if it was working and she said, "no, it hasn't worked since like the power went out sunday I think. what's wrong with it." and we discussed the possibility that we were getting cable.

Yesterday, I was about ready to leave my room after getting up and showering and start watching cnn since polls were closing in Indiana and it might get called early (heh) As the other roommate passed, the one who has the satellite account, I asked her, "Is the TV working today?" And she freezes for a second and then says, "I didn't know it wasn't." and walked quickly away as I said, "ah, it hasn't since sunday, might be a connection or something..."

Then I went to see if it was fixable. Basically I figured someone had futzed with the connections and it just needed to be plugged back into the RCA in or the coax hooked up. I pulled out the TV and discovered a spare coax cord alright. One of the pair that comes from the dish to the receiver, Only it was cut off, about two feet of cable gone and the end that was supposed to be attached to the receiver was also unscrewed and gone. Someone sabotaged our TV! and it was one of my three roommates or R's boyfriend. Ugh. just bizarre.

so I wound up leaving a few minutes after that to pick up dinner/breakfast and get to work early to watch the results in HD. this was a much better solution that staying glued to the TV til the last possible second before arriving at work late.

Bob,

"You're the most hard luck guy I know."

A friend of mine said this to me the other night. Now, before you get me wrong; I realize that he clearly doesn't have much experience with the lower class, but it's still a bit of an achievement in my mind. Honestly, it felt really good to hear someone say that. I almost feel validated for being frustrated about the way things go, not to mention for my own arrogance that's based around the idea that "I did this. I did not get any helping hands, easy routes, or free rides; I did it." I feel proud of myself for that, and it makes me feel better knowing that I'm not seen by my friends as someone who has had it easy.

Honestly, that night he made me feel really good about myself. Okay yes, I am an emo kid, but whatever. He called me at 11pm (as I was about to go to bed) and rather panicked asked if I could hang out tonight. He's not the type to ask for anything, so it was pretty obvious something was up. Well, he broke up with his gf (actually, she with him, but I digress) and basically just wanted to talk about it, bounce some s*** off me, etc. I felt really good knowing that I was a person he'd call in that situation, that I perhaps have better friends than I give myself credit for.

I love being home, sortof.

--Cam

Bob,

The therapist is still going well. Today left me emotionally drained and weak and weepy. The night before each session, if I wake up and can't get back to sleep, I start going through the list of traumatic events that I want to cover eventually. But then I start trying to prioritize them as to which I should address first. I feel like I need to hit on just the right memory to fix my real issue, the one that affects my life so greatly right now. I can't pinpoint what event or set of events it is but I'm terrified of missing it somehow.

I also think that once I get through the main issue, I might need to address some childhood stuff. I have had a number of dreams in which I am hurting my mom. Not in a seriously hurting her, but pinching or elbowing her, things like that, during an argument. I think I have some serious suppressed anger towards her.

Bob,

It just occurred to me that my little brother is just like most boys in a lot of ways I hoped he wouldn't be. Thanks a lot Facebook! I had already,also recently, gotten this newsflash from my older brothers but still had (unrealistic) hopes for the little one. Ah well.

In other news, I'm trying to not rush through EiE because I am enjoying it more than I thought I would (w0ot! for low expectations!). This probably has more to do with it not being about Bean than its actual quality, though.

Also, on my nightly dog walk, my hands and the tip of my nose got insanely cold. I'm in love with this weather.

Bob,
I went from blonde to red again.

Also, on my nightly dog walk, my hands and the tip of my nose got insanely cold. I'm in love with this weather.

What was it? In the 70s? It was in the 60s today and I was sweating my ass off.

Pfft. 70s....What kind of wimp do you think I am?

It was in the 60s. With a breeze!

After googling a Fahrenheit to Celsius converter I must regrettably inform you that you are indeed a wimp.

Today it reached a high of 17C here (62F) and everyone continues to marvel at the lovely spring-like weather in November. We sure get the best of both worlds here. As cold as the -20C (-4F) with the windchill in winter, as hot as 35C (95F) in the summer.

Yeah, I know I'm a wimp. But I can't help it that my hands and nose turn cold to the touch. I came back to type something before my hands had thawed out completely and I was having a hard time getting them to operate as usual. The being cold bit was because I was wearing soccer shorts outside instead of my usual sweats or jeans.

Cold snobs.

Today it reached a high of 17C here (62F) and everyone continues to marvel at the lovely spring-like weather in November. We sure get the best of both worlds here. As cold as the -20C (-4F) with the windchill in winter, as hot as 35C (95F) in the summer.

That's almost exactly the normal max and mins for here, give or take a few degrees. I'll say it again: thank God for the steamplant. I hate when it gets so cold your nostrils freeze the second you walk outside.

Bob,
I went from blonde to red again.

pix plz k thx.

Today it reached a high of 17C here (62F) and everyone continues to marvel at the lovely spring-like weather in November. We sure get the best of both worlds here. As cold as the -20C (-4F) with the windchill in winter, as hot as 35C (95F) in the summer.

pfft. in my southern (warm) corner of missouri we swing between highs in the low hundreds (usually a couple days every summer in the 103-107 range) with 98% humidity and in winters can drop down to a few days as low as -10 to -15 range with up to -30 windchill. Usually though, it's fairly moderate, summers are mostly 88-98 with 80% humidity and winters are mostly 28-35 with 15-20 windchill