Philotic Web

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*lots of hugs*

I know exactly what you're going through. Which makes no difference whatsoever really.

*more hugs*

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*hugs*

I know I'd prefer it if you stayed, Alea.

I'm thinking I may never touch my computer again...because that means I'll have to change the wallpaper, and delete the conversations I saved and the 140 or so pictures that I took while on vacation.

I don't think anyone deserves to keep you from your computer. Computers are among the most sacred of objects. Coupled with them are puppies, penguins, and 10 hours of sleep.

I'll have to tell my mom. And most likely my brother. And my grandma. The first two have seen me walking back and forth between two rooms in various stages of tears...bawling so that I can hardly breathe, and being ridiculously calm with just tears rolling down.

Telling your family is the worst. *hugs*

*hugs Alea*

I know we're not close, but *hugs*

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Leaving AIM on tonight, just in case.

What, no Alanis? No Goo Goo Dolls? Or Garbage?

*hugs*

I think you ought to stick around.

I don't think anyone deserves to keep you from your computer. Computers are among the most sacred of objects. Coupled with them are puppies, penguins, and 10 hours of sleep.

Thus saith the SCG from upon high. And there was much rejoicing throughout the board.



I know a perfect song for you, Alea.

We were also forced to eat Alea's minstrals. That was cause for more rejoicing.


I like these songs for breakups/fights:
Forgive Me Love - Alanis Morissette
Gotta Knock a Little Harder - Cowboy Bebop
The Jeep Song - Dresden Dolls
The Trick is to Keep Breathing - Garbage
Stupid Girl - Garbage
Cup of Coffee - Garbage
Broadway - Goo Goo Dolls
Acoustic #3 - Goo Goo Dolls
I Don't Believe You - Magnetic Fields
Throwing Stones - Paula Cole
New Year's Day - U2

"I Hate Everyone"- Get Set Go

*hugs Alea tight*

My phone's on all night. I tried to call you back but no answer. Seriously, any time, I don't care when it's ok to call.

Alea,

I usually try to stay far removed from e-drama, but because it's you, I wanted to say that I really hope you won't leave Pweb or stop chatting. Be strong.

Oh, Alea, I'm so sorry. That is a really, really awful thing to have to go through.

Feel much, much better. *hugs*

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*many many many hugs*

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Keep posting and talking to people, because sometimes dealing with it on your own, in your own head just makes it worse. You have people here for you.

Kelly edited her posts in the last thread.

I was going to use her words -she's always better than I am- but I suppose mine will have to do.

I don't want to quit talking to people or posting here because then I'll have to start dealing with this on my own, in my head and I don't want to. Not that I don't want to feel better, I just want to skip right to that. I want to avoid all the pain that I know must come first.

So, sorry for constantly posting and editing.

you should use your own words, anyway. they are yours, they belong to you. they have power. trust that.

*hug*

Let it out, Alea. It's a lot better than keeping it in.

(I hope Kelly ends up feeling comfortable enough to post in this thread, too.)

*hugs and hugs Lea*


I found a website today about a woman who made a list of 100 things she wanted/needed to do before she was ready to fall in love again. It made me smile, and it sort of represented what I feel like the truly redeeming aspect of a breakup is. Just thought someone else might enjoy it as much as I did.

http://www.hundredthings.com/

What, no Alanis? No Goo Goo Dolls? Or Garbage?

*hugs*

I think you ought to stick around.

Alanis saved me. I literally SCREAMED the lyrics. I'd drive for hours just singing as loud as I could. And I HATE driving.

I knew my last breakup was bad when Jagged Little Pill just wasn't harsh enough.

Simple Together was the song I played OVER and OVER.

And You Oughta Know when he told me he was cheating on me (turned out to be a lie), when he fooled around with some random girl, and when he told me about the new girlfriend..

I think I played You Oughta Know at least a hundred times (ENDLESS REPEAT) when I found out that my ex had cheated on me.

Bastard.

Alanis is terrific. My best friend and I spent awhile singing songs from Jagged Little Pill by flashlight during the blackout a few years ago...

Edit: I think "Mary Jane" is probably my favorite of anything of hers, though. With "Perfect" a close second.

I don't have a lot to add to this thread except silent support, but I did want to empathize with you, Alea.
I hate people seeing me weak, sad, afraid, needy. It's so freakin' hard. Even the people closest to me who see it all the time. I want to hide. But that makes it worse, yaknow? I'm having to learn that I have to be who I am and in a lot of ways, that means being weak.

*huge hugs*

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I got some rather angry, hurtful messages today.
I'm trying so hard to take it in stride. I keep telling him he doesn't mean it. I wish I believed he truly didn't..
They stung, but I won't ever let on that they did. I want my fake smiles to become real ones. I want to have a conversation that doesn't lead to my ex. I want to just be normal, be happy.

This song Simple Together by Alanis is the most fitting I've ever heard.

You’ve been my golden best friend
Now with post-demise at hand
Can’t go to you for consolation
Cause we’re off limits during this transition

This grief overwhelms me
It burns in my stomach
And I can’t stop bumping into things

I thought we’d be simple together
I thought we’d be happy together
Thought we’d be limitless together
I thought we’d be precious together
But I was sadly mistaken

You’ve been my soulmate and mentor
I remembered you the moment I met you
With you I knew god’s face was handsome
With you I suffered an expansion

This loss is numbing me
It pierces my chest
And I can’t stop dropping everything

I thought we’d be sexy together
Thought we’d be evolving together
I thought we’d have children together
I thought we’d be family together
But I was sadly mistaken

If I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared
If I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented
If I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
My wealth would render this no less severe

I thought we’d be genius together
I thought we’d be healing together
I thought we’d be growing together
Thought we’d be adventurous together
But I was sadly mistaken

Thought we’d be exploring together
Thought we’d be inspired together
I thought we’d be flying together
Thought we’d be on fire together
But I was sadly mistaken

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Nicole, that really is a terrific song... I'd forgotten how much I like it.

Roadtrips are brilliant. I went on one this weekend. I love getting lost in music, just driving. The open road and myself. Tears and screaming lyrics and just driving.
It was the longest drive I've ever accomplished.
Easily the most therapeutic, as well.

Edit:
Dashboard Confessionals - Fear the most
is
THE
most
BRILLIANT
Depression/Breakup CD