Philotic Web

Er... sex. We should have a place for this kind of discussion, yes? I'll start.


(mods, feel free to modhammer if you feel this isn't an appropriate topic)


I have never, ever, not even once enjoyed masturbation. Sex, yes. Masturbation, no.

you're just not doing it right


honestly, some people just don't enjoy it. i suppose most of the time it's a psychological thing that they don't.

i don't have this problem. my problem is that even though i'm going through a divorce i feel bad/guilty about having sex if it's not with my wife. we're legally separated. so there's no reason for me to feel this way about sex. it just feels wrong to do. and i suppose that it will continue to feel wrong even after we're fully divorced and not living together.

i even feel a little wrong about going on dates.

I expected more from sex, to be honest. As much as sex is hyped up to be this absolutely wonderful, amazing, life changing event, I was a little disappointed by it. Not that I didn't enjoy it, quite the opposite in fact. I was just expecting an Earth shattering experience, which never really happened. The best part, I think, was just the fact that there was someone else there to experience and enjoy that part of myself and them with.

Aww, Helen is going to talk about sex with me. This gives me the warm fuzzies.


I enjoy masturbation though I have a weird history with it. At least, it seems weird to me. At any rate, there are all sorts of variables that make me enjoy it more or less but even on the "less" days, I enjoy it enough to know I'm not stopping any time soon.

The closer it is to a period, the stronger the urge to do it. On my period, I'm incredibly sad there are no penises in the vicinity that I can use, so masturbating is good for nothing more than tension release. The rest of the month, I do it for fun because I care just a tad bit less that I have to take care of myself. Would I always or almost always prefer I was having sex? Yes. Or at least, I prefer I have the option of sex right after since I think masturbation (as in, watching each other) before hand would be a s***** of fun.

Also a variable is my mood. If I'm distracted by racing thoughts or sad at all or too angry, it won't happen. If I try anyway, what usually happens is I feel the orgasm building and then right before the big payoff, it fizzles and I'm left feeling frustrated/gypped.

I have a vibrator but enjoy that less than I enjoy manual stimulation, so more often than not, I'm just using my hands. I also fail at shower attempts, and though my vibrator is water proof, trying that there hasn't helped me not to fail there.

I'm always considerably more interested in it if I'm crushing on someone, otherwise I get bored by it and tend to go months in between.

Porn. That is, ah, tricky. I use it, not going to hide that. I'm just not sure how much I'll like the idea of the next guy I date using it, with or without me. That is my weird "I don't know if I trust you not to hold me to those standards" sort of thing. I don't want them to find the people more attractive, basically, which I see as a virtually guaranteed thing. I know they're going to think of other women in sexual ways but I don't know that I want to witness or encourage that. It's something I'll need to discuss with future boy toy.

I still remember the first time I made myself orgasm. Fireworks went off sort of stuff happened.

I expected more from sex, to be honest. As much as sex is hyped up to be this absolutely wonderful, amazing, life changing event, I was a little disappointed by it. Not that I didn't enjoy it, quite the opposite in fact. I was just expecting an Earth shattering experience, which never really happened. The best part, I think, was just the fact that there was someone else there to experience and enjoy that part of myself and them with.

And that, pretty much. However, I will add that I expect it to be different for me in the future, to some degree, if only because I expect to be more comfortable, more sure of myself, more sure of the guy, etc.

The porn thing bothers me sometimes, too, Alea, because Jared had a serious problem with porn in highschool, and I know I'm not exactly porn star material.

And Wil, I expected a lot more from sex than I got, too. In fact, my first time(s) was the stuff of horror stories.

i'm pretty sure all teenagers have a serious porn problem at some point.

i know it's little comfort. but i don't think guys hold women to the porn star "ideals" hell, most porn stars are NOT at ALL attractive. we're more happy with real women to be honest. i think the hope is that we find someone that loves us, and cares for us, and treats us well. and isn't a flippin nut bar.

so long as she f****** like a porn star, we're good with whatever.

I keep being told men don't actually want porn star material. Then again, they do want elements of porn, it seems. That whole completely bare, fresh out of the womb look? I'm pretty sure that was popularized by porn.

It really is one of those things where I can say something or feel one way about it in one moment and the next moment have the complete opposite reaction. Or maybe a better way to put it is, I have double standards. I'm not watching and thinking I'd like that guy or that guy's size or any of that. For me, at this point, it's more a matter of the noise and not the talking because the talking is so freaking stupid and ruins it for me. There's the visual appreciation, too -I'm a visual person- but I'm not fantasizing about that guy. Somewhere in the process, it translates so that all that it does is give me ideas about what I'd like to do with someone I care about.


With guys, they get lizard brain. A naked woman is a naked woman is a naked woman and they like them all, within a certain attractiveness range. It freaks me out. A lot.

my first time(s) was the stuff of horror stories.

That's too bad. Mine was awkward and kind of funny (and I've had sexual experiences not of my choosing that were horrible to live through) but I don't know how I'd react to choosing to have sex and having it be bad/painful.

Like, almost went to the ER bad.

Yikes. Was it a nervousness thing, you think? I wouldn't classify it as pain but I had discomfort and it was worst when I was most nervous. That is, always at the beginning, since there wasn't much/any foreplay. Further along, I relaxed and it wasn't so bad. That could also have to do with lubrication, though. Again, the no foreplay would make it rather uncomfortable since we didn't have any lube on standby.

Porn. That is, ah, tricky.

I always though I would be the type of person who would take offense to my partner watching porn, but as I started dating I found out I honestly don't care. I don't really think i'm the type of person to watch it that often. I have, and do, just very very rarely. The only part that bugs me is if they try to hide the fact that they were watching it, i'm very open about it.

I keep being told men don't actually want porn star material. Then again, they do want elements of porn, it seems. That whole completely bare, fresh out of the womb look? I'm pretty sure that was popularized by porn.

The thing about "porn star material" is that there are porn stars of EVERY body type. Skinny, fat, VERY fat, muscular, large breasted, huge breasted, tinny breasted, hairless, ridiculously hairy, 18 years old, 60 years old, etc.

They say that anything you can imagine is somebody's fetish, and body types are no exception. So what exactly is "porn star material" anyway?

I keep being told men don't actually want porn star material. Then again, they do want elements of porn, it seems.

What someone wants in porn doesn't always have much to do with what they want in real life, really. I mean, they're not the same thing, unless you plan to base your relationship on just watching her have sex all the time, and otherwise not interacting.

So what exactly is "porn star material" anyway?

Depends on the guy. Let me phrase it differently, then. I don't want to fail to live up to what my partner finds attractive. It would be painful to feel like they do find me attractive but not as attractive as whatever they're watching.




ETA:

And agreed about the hiding it, Fred. That would be more worrisome than not.

Last week's Octopus Pie is humorously apropos! (slightly NSFW because of a word that's synonymous with roosters).

Helen, given the current makeup of pweb, let's see where this thread goes. Do you mind adding a "NSFW" or "TMI" tag to the thread title, though, just as a warning? /mod



I find I'm rather uncomfortable talking about my sex life here, primarily because my partner is also here. So don't be surprised if I don't talk much.

I have been happy to find that monogamy + long term relationship + trust = Really Freaking Hot Stuff.

I find I'm rather uncomfortable talking about my sex life here, primarily because my partner is also here.

Ditto.

tinny breasted

Wow, they even have half woman, half robot, metal boob porn out there? What will they think of next!?

Yikes. Was it a nervousness thing, you think?

The parts just didn't fit together. I would have gone to the ER, but since I'm a nurse, I know all the ER nurses. I decided to take my chances dying of blood loss than dying of embarassment.

tinny breasted

Wow, they even have half woman, half robot, metal boob porn out there? What will they think of next!?

I was going to let that one slide...

I find I'm rather uncomfortable talking about my sex life here, primarily because my partner is also here.

Ditto.

You mean you're not going to tell us how you and JL make such cute kids?

I find I'm rather uncomfortable talking about my sex life here, primarily because my partner is also here. So don't be surprised if I don't talk much.

A little bit of this... I know Will is WAY more shy about this type of stuff then I am, so i'm trying to to embarrass him too much : P

I have been happy to find that monogamy + long term relationship + trust = Really Freaking Hot Stuff.

This! Of course it was awkward and weird at first, but over time it's just fun! It really does have to do with the fact that I trust my partner and i'm not at all embarrassed anymore, even when things don't turn out how we wanted them to.

tinny breasted

Wow, they even have half woman, half robot, metal boob porn out there? What will they think of next!?

I was going to let that one slide...

I was, too, but I was secretly hoping someone else wouldn't. Thanks, Nomi!

I find I'm rather uncomfortable talking about my sex life here, primarily because my partner is also here.

Ditto.

You mean you're not going to tell us how you and JL make such cute kids?

*laughs* A dash of this, a pinch of that, I'm assuming.

Man, I word one thing incorrectly and it follows the poor people everywhere.

I find I'm rather uncomfortable talking about my sex life here, primarily because my partner is also here. So don't be surprised if I don't talk much.

A little bit of this... I know Will is WAY more shy about this type of stuff then I am, so i'm trying to to embarrass him too much : P

So...no more calling to conduct sex question polls?


(Really though, I love you guys for being people I can safely/comfortably say all kinds of stuff to.)

I have been happy to find that monogamy + long term relationship + trust = Really Freaking Hot Stuff.

This! Of course it was awkward and weird at first, but over time it's just fun! It really does have to do with the fact that I trust my partner and i'm not at all embarrassed anymore, even when things don't turn out how we wanted them to.

And this is part of what I meant when I said I figured things would be different for me next time. That is cool because I'm a curious person but if a guy is expecting anything too wild right out the gates, he's going to be disappointed. I'll need the trust and some time, first.

So...no more calling to conduct sex question polls?


(Really though, I love you guys for being people I can safely/comfortably say all kinds of stuff to.)

Oh man, good times! I'm pretty sure he's getting used to weird questions. He's stopped staring at me weirdly when I ask them (and I still do, probably always will) and he's just started trying to find a way to answer.

It's just... Obviously i've never had a penis, and i'm just so curious. Questions are going to happen.

I used to be very open about talking about anything and everything with pretty much anyone. But since I went through the long abusive relationship a few years back, I have become very uncomfortable with the whole topic. I really hate that. I'm getting emotional just typing this.

Anyway, just wanted ya'll to know why I wouldn't be posting in here much. It's not that I disapprove of the discussion at all. (Got it, Alea?)

Completely understandable, my dear. And no one should feel bad, weird, or otherwise for not participating, in case that needed to be said. I won't be in here every day or week, even, but it's nice to have the support. This place has become so much an extension of my head, it was/is hard questioning whether it's really okay to talk about something like sex. I'll get to work on internalizing that it is.

It's just... Obviously i've never had a penis, and i'm just so curious. Questions are going to happen.

Yes. I mean, not just the penis thing but the experience that comes with being a card carrying member of the "I have a penis" club. Male sexuality is scary yet fascinating to me. Not that I can think of any questions I've had off the top of my head but I know there are some (not many) that I can't bring myself to ask my go-to male buddies. Not out of embarrassment or fear of what they'll think, more out of a sense that it's inappropriate to ask that of someone I'm not dating.

tinny breasted

Wow, they even have half woman, half robot, metal boob porn out there? What will they think of next!?

I was going to let that one slide...

I was, too, but I was secretly hoping someone else wouldn't. Thanks, Nomi!

I hate you all.

Yes. I mean, not just the penis thing but the experience that comes with being a card carrying member of the "I have a penis" club. Male sexuality is scary yet fascinating to me. Not that I can think of any questions I've had off the top of my head but I know there are some (not many) that I can't bring myself to ask my go-to male buddies. Not out of embarrassment or fear of what they'll think, more out of a sense that it's inappropriate to ask that of someone I'm not dating.

questions like "do you have any control over it"?

answer: yes: we say "go go gadget penis!" and BAM we're ready for sex.

i'm seriously trying to think of what kind of questions you could have possibly had.

My questions are more along the lines of "how hard can you actually squeeze/hit it? Does it hurt when you run? Can you make it do things?".

Wow, I feel really immature... : )

pretty hard, there aren't too many pain sensing nerves in the penis itself, i wouldn't be dropping any bricks on it anytime soon, but it's just a muscle, so imagine squeezing your bicep until it hurts. that's about how hard. balls on the other hand.... eesh, any amount of force can be painful. and that's a full body horrible horrible pain.

so, while running, no. it doesn't hurt, though if your pants get twisted funny and it squeezes the balls in a bad way. yes.

and yes. it can do things.

Sometimes I wonder if Will gets tired of me asking him those type of things.

i'm seriously trying to think of what kind of questions you could have possibly had.

Me, too, whilst on the spot but if I ever think of one...well, I probably won't ask because it's for my future boy toy.

Other questions I've asked, though, include such heavy hitting stuff as "What does an erection feel like?" and "How many times in the day do you get one?" and "Do you all really tuck it up under underwear or pant waists so it's not noticeable?" (and if I'm dating you, "can I see that, please?").

On a kind of random note I took off my trunks while swimming in the ocean at night a couple of years ago and learned that penises float. Or at least mine does. I assume it's not atypical.

I'm sure that someone will find this information fascinating.

mr_thebrain: I heard that storing up semen can increase a man's strength ten-fold, turning them into an Uberman.

On a kind of random note I took off my trunks while swimming in the ocean at night a couple of years ago and learned that penises float. Or at least mine does. I assume it's not atypical.

I'm sure that someone will find this information fascinating.

I did! See, those are the things I feel like I need to know... For some reason.

When I run, or exercise at all really, I experience what I refer to as "turtling". It's actually somewhat common from what I've heard, but basically the penis will tend to "pull in" on itself to protect itself. Or something like that. It's actually really strange feeling and I don't like it.

As for floating penises... yes, mine does that too.

Man, this thread is strange.