Philotic Web

I'm so, so sorry about the lack-of-familiar face dilemma, Ali. Hopefully, you'll be able to find a doula that you love and want to have there.

But I'm incredibly glad about the slightly-above 50/50 part!

We're looking into taking Bradley classes, and the instructor I've been in contact with is also a doula and an RN and apparently volunteers to help in a doula capacity with her students if they want. This is a big, big bonus in my mind. (If we take the class and if I like her.)

My oncology professor is super pregnant (due at the end of the month) and yesterday during rounds she started hiccuping. Apparently, baby likes to kick her in the diaphragm which sets of uncontrollable hiccups. It made me think of you two!

while I knew about the two ongoing pregnancies, I initially clicked this thread thinking, oh, Egg Balancer and Steph have made another baby. :-p

That made me smile, even if it's not true.

Alrighty, weekly update. Week 7 down today, Week 8 begins tomorrow! Little Bit is going to have fingers and toes and start to get wriggly! Raspberry-sized. Looking more and more human by the day.

Finally, finally, finally we're at the week of the First Prenatal Visit. Hallelujah! Everything continues to feel healthy and positive. Occasionally, I have wild, mad ideas that I'm going to show up and they're going to inform me that I'm not pregnant, that I'm just somatisizing and imagining the whole thing. Or that I somehow managed to miscarry without a single symptom.

However, I have more than enough symptoms to be swiftly reassured, so the wild, mad visions usually don't last more than a couple of seconds.

As I was telling Ali yesterday, it's not so much that I've developed food cravings and aversions so much as that I have developed extremely strong opinions about food. For example: Strawberries are heavenly, the best thing to eat on the entire planet, and anyone who thinks differently is obviously crazy or has never actually eaten a strawberry. Also -- chocolate or caramel-y stuff is alright, fine, whatever, but does not compare to fruit flavored counterparts. Hence, buying a giant thingy of raspberry honey instead of the kind that tasted just like the inside of a cinnamon roll. And strawberry and peach ice cream rock my world, whereas chocolate or other ice cream is just sort of, "well, whatever. I guess."

Also, Kraft American cheese singles are the devil. It's not that I'm averse to them, mind you. It's that you simply cannot expect a woman in my condition to eat or look at or smell food that is the devil. Never mind that I've adored them since I was five and that grilled cheese was a comfort food less than a few weeks ago. I didn't know then. Actually, most large globs of meat or cheese are the devil. Particularly yellow/orange cheese. Cottage cheese or light sprinkles of shredded cheese are okay. This lady at the farmer's market yesterday was trying to get us interested her cheddar and garlic bread, with cheese baked in throughout the bread, and as proof she showed us the bottom of the loaf, which had a giant glob of cheddar cheese in evidence. I did not have the heart to tell her she was selling Satan's bread, and I bought some fancy oatmeal from her to make up for her trying to sell us bread so unsuccessfully.

Awesomeness

1. Coming to the conclusion that I was pretty well meant for this. Pregnancy, I mean. Not that it's been all roses and joy, but it's been pretty damn easy for me compared to how it is for some folks. Hardly any queasiness, and my mood has been really, really good overall. I reserve the right to change that opinion at any time, but the morning I came to that conclusion, I was pretty much euphoric. It was fun.

2. Strawberries. Oh, God, strawberries. How did I ever not notice how sweet, how textured, how flavored they are? Mouthgasms every. Single. Time. They are the Rabbit vibrator of food (refer to famous Sex and the City episode). They weren't even that high up on my list of fruits I liked before. What a fool I was!

3. The joy of realizing, while reading the blog of a mother of a five-week old, that, "Oh. Right. There's going to be a baby at the end of all this." And subsequently developing an interest in all things newborn related.

4. Finding songs I love that I can plan to sing to baby someday.

5. Finding out that one of my shirts is actually going to be slightly cuter as a maternity shirt than as a regular shirt, at least for the next couple of months. Yay! This makes up, slightly, for the loss of my other two shirts.

6. My father wants to know if I'm having any food cravings so he can send a bunch of whatever it is that I am wanting. That is SO SWEET.

7. Talking with a friend down at the apartment pool about the whole thing, including what a great father I think Donny will be, and having him say that what's great about this whole thing is how much we obviously love each other and want this to happen. And he's right, that is pretty great. And it's also great that people are naturally aware that we each kind of think the other person is the greatest thing since strawberries.

The Unimpressive

1. Coming to the conclusion that God, my husband, and I must have been insane to think I could do this. Yes, I realize this is in direct contradiction to awesome thing number one. I have a feeling that sort of thing is going to happen a lot.

2. The terror of realizing, while reading the blog of a mother of a five-week old, that, "Oh. Right. There's going to be a baby at the end of all this." And subsequently feeling pretty inadequate to the task.

3. The return of the night sweats, after a few days of thinking they'd been defeated.

4. Recurring dreams about getting separated from my husband and then lost. For some reason, my parents always show up and help me find him. It's a bit weird.

5. Hunger. Insatiable hunger. Got to explain to my mother this week that there is a huge difference between being hungry and wanting to eat. God, I cannot think of a time that I want to eat less than the middle of the night when I am exhausted and dealing with the night sweats and back in my bed, ready to sleep. But I have to eat. Thank God for husband who is willing to make me waffles or whatever in the middle of the night.

6. Okay, the breast thing again. This may be a bit TMI. It's a new twist on the whole problem. So, I was at the swimming pool Friday. My swimming suit, which was always a bit tight on top, has become ridiculously difficult to smush myself into, so I was wearing a t-shirt over it. And, well, got cold. And the feeling of my nipples smushed up against that stupid swimming suit was one of the most ridiculously painful things I have ever felt. Like knives. I had to discreetly tell my husband that we needed to leave because I was tired or cold or somesuch, because I did not feel like publicly announcing, "We have to leave RIGHT NOW because my nipples are hurting more than I would've thought possible."

~~~

Cannot wait for Wednesday!

1. Coming to the conclusion that God, my husband, and I must have been insane to think I could do this. Yes, I realize this is in direct contradiction to awesome thing number one. I have a feeling that sort of thing is going to happen a lot.

2. The terror of realizing, while reading the blog of a mother of a five-week old, that, "Oh. Right. There's going to be a baby at the end of all this." And subsequently feeling pretty inadequate to the task.

These have never gone away for me. (That's probably pretty obvious if you know me.)

It is a serious blessing that pregnancy is 9 months - it gives you time to get used to the idea.

... and especially by the end you're just saying "GET THIS OUT OF ME! I AM HUGE!", so, you know, that helps.

It is a serious blessing that pregnancy is 9 months - it gives you time to get used to the idea.

Oh, I believe that. I am SO grateful that I have a while yet to wrap my brain around this whole thing. I cannot imagine being one of those people who has no idea they are pregnant until, "Hey, whoops! Wouldja look at that!"

Also, I am operating on the theory that my midnight munchies are Mother Nature's way of preparing me for midnight feedings.

It is nice, isn't it? Although I'd shorten it by a month, month-and-a-half. I'd be totally fine if Wee Brontosaurus decided to come at 36 weeks.

And I know I'm totally nuts for thinking I can do this. Oi.

Told my best friend from childhood, because we are anticipating making the general Facebook announcement if everything goes well at the doctor, and she would never, ever, ever forgive me if she found out about it that way. Her reaction was so, totally awesome. Sharp gasp, intake of breath, somewhat muted squeal, observation that everyone in WalMart was now looking at her like she's crazy, and then, "I am so, so, so excited! Oh my gosh! This is, like, the greatest thing since chocolate milk!"

Have moved beyond my inner imperative to know everything there is to know about pregnancy and on to an imperative to know everything there is to know about newborns which resulted in a happy trip to Barnes and Nobles. I remember a post Jan made once about being completely flabbergasted by a heavily pregnant woman who had done no research about anything, and I remember feeling somewhat guilty and figuring that I, with my life lived at the last minute, might end up doing the same thing. Turns out, that was just plain silly. I want to know everything. NOW. I want to be able to strap my brain up to some kind of library and suck down knowledge.

Also, have bought a somewhat unnecessary brand new journal, because if there was ever an occasion in life that called for the buying of an unnecessary brand new journal, this would be it.

If you want me to flood you with book recommendations, I totally can, but I'll wait for your permission.

I don't really expect everyone to be as insane a researcher as I am, but I think what I was surprised the most about was that she seemed to think she'd have plenty of time to read after the baby was born. Read stuff about newborns now! Not when you're exhausted.

Oh, please, please, please. Flood me. I'm actually doing pretty well with pacing myself on the research. I just sort of need a starting point for possible game plan. And there are SO MANY books, and I know I cannot possibly buy/read them all, so I would be THRILLED to get recommendations to narrow down the field.

Nurture Shock

I'm reading it for a second time right now. It's amazing. about how kids acquire language, pick up on race relations even when raised in "race blind" environments, sleep stuff, how they learn to lie (the descriptions of differences in how three year olds lie versus four year olds is fascinating) and much more. Fascinating, fun read.

I've heard really good things about Let's Panic! About Babies. It's one I am considering buying.

Well, shoot.

I think we accidentally stumbled onto our baby's name if it's a boy.

Problem: Completely goes against all of my desires for a baby name, damnit. (Except that it does not have a cutesy spelling.)

Shoot.

Why? Why, you ask? Why not keep looking? Oh, believe me, I will.

However, when Donny tossed it out there, half as a joke, we both had an instinctive moment of, "Oh. Huh. Why, yes, that sounds about exactly right," quite similar to when he tossed out the name a few years ago that we quickly fell in love with as the girl name. And the girl name is fine. Simple, pretty, easy to spell.

However, my logical and emotional brain are warring over the boy name right now. Unless another name catches both of us like this, emotional brain will probably win.

(And nothing on earth is going to induce me to disclose it publicly until after the little fella is here and people have to say nice things about it.)

(And nothing on earth is going to induce me to disclose it publicly until after the little fella is here and people have to say nice things about it.)

Wise.

Are you going to find out the sex? And if so, are you going to tell us?

You asked for it, you got it.

Informative Books about Pregnancy/Birth:
-Complete Book of Pregnancy and Birth by Sheila Kitzinger
-Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (I cannot recommend this book enough - it changed my life)
-The Mother of All Pregnancy Books by Ann Douglas
-Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin


Informative books about Parenting:

-The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears (while I'm not 110% on board with all of his philosophies, The Baby Book is an excellent book to have on hand, it's really detailed and answers questions well)
-Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp (actually, you don't even have to read this one if you can manage to find the DVD of the 5 S's)
-Free Range Kidsby Lauren Skenazy
-The Business of Being Born (Documentary)


Humourous Books about Pregnancy/Parenting:

-The aforementioned ^^ Let's Panic About Babies
-The Baby Owner's Manuel (and it's sequel, the Toddler Owner's Manuel)


Books not to read:
-What to Expect When You're Expecting. It's a classic, but it's actually not all that helpful. It tends to focus too much on what can go wrong. And I found the second one "What to Expect in the First Year" to be a little too outdated/biased, IMO.

-Birth: The Amazing History of How We are Born.
This is a great book. I think Nomi recommended it to me when I was pregnant with Ginny. It's a history of childbirth through the ages. It will, however, totally give you nightmares if you read it while you're pregnant (and vivid ones, since pregnancy makes your dreams all wacky and vivid). They did horrid things to pregnant women in the past, and you don't need to think about them. Read it in a couple years, though, cause it's a great book.

I'm really, really having a hard time today with the idea of actually giving birth, and most of it is connected to worrying I won't have someone comforting and experienced there with me. I'm totally freaked out and could really use a hug.

*hugs* I understand.

*hugs* I don't...but I love you, anyway. Things are going to be okay and while I think it's perfectly natural to be scared, you're going to end up with a pretty neat parting gift. :)

-Birth: The Amazing History of How We are Born.
This is a great book. I think Nomi recommended it to me when I was pregnant with Ginny. It's a history of childbirth through the ages. It will, however, totally give you nightmares if you read it while you're pregnant (and vivid ones, since pregnancy makes your dreams all wacky and vivid). They did horrid things to pregnant women in the past, and you don't need to think about them. Read it in a couple years, though, cause it's a great book.

I'm sorry I recommended it while you were pregnant! I didn't think it through from the viewpoint of a pregnant woman.

Books not to read:
-What to Expect When You're Expecting. It's a classic, but it's actually not all that helpful. It tends to focus too much on what can go wrong. And I found the second one "What to Expect in the First Year" to be a little too outdated/biased, IMO.

I hate this book. I don't know why it's so popular. It's annoying in every way I can think of. I'll have to check out some of your other suggestions for my next pregnancy.

Overall, I don't go for parenting books too much, since most of the ones I've read tend to think this a "one-size-fits-all" solution for all people. I know there are ones that aren't like that, but since most of them seem to be, I've been turned off of parenting books all together. I just get too mad reading them. Kids are not one-size-fits-all.

That being said, I'd trust your recommendations over most people's, since I know you educate yourself and don't just blindly trust whatever book is given to you as a gift. I'll probably read some of these.

Overall, I don't go for parenting books too much, since most of the ones I've read tend to think this a "one-size-fits-all" solution for all people. I know there are ones that aren't like that, but since most of them seem to be, I've been turned off of parenting books all together. I just get too mad reading them. Kids are not one-size-fits-all.

For sure! That's why I read so many. Tips from many different sources can be really helpful. I agree that kids are so different from each other.

Overall, I don't go for parenting books too much, since most of the ones I've read tend to think this a "one-size-fits-all" solution for all people. I know there are ones that aren't like that, but since most of them seem to be, I've been turned off of parenting books all together. I just get too mad reading them. Kids are not one-size-fits-all.

For sure! That's why I read so many. Tips from many different sources can be really helpful. I agree that kids are so different from each other.

I'll let you do the leg work, then, and I'll just reap the benefits of your recommendations! Mwah-ha-ha!!

Prenatal appointment in just two hours! Has anyone ever looked forward to a trip to the gynecologist this much?

Feeling pretty confident that things will be fine. No bleeding, spotting, severe cramps, abdominal tenderness, or anything else. I can't even look at lists of "signs that something's wrong" and get my hyperactively anxious brain to convince itself to be paranoid. So, if everything's as fine as I think it will be, going to give parents the go ahead to tell families!

YAY!

(They are really dying, dying to do this. Also, we have two family reunions scheduled next summer, and they keep pushing my mom to commit to going, and she can't do that because of wanting to use her vacation time to be with baby.)

My daddy informed me last night that he is planning on using the scar from his hernia operation, along with judicious use of a sharpie marker, to make a belly smiley face with which to amuse his grandbaby when he/she's about two or three.

Stressed out about other things? Very much. Quiet desperation about job situation? On and off throughout the day, with tears.

But, still. There's a baby in my belly, yes there is! (Which I go around in the mornings singing to the tune of, "If you're happy and you know it.")

YAY!!!

All good. Waiting on labs, but I'm not too worried about those. The main thing is that we got an ultrasound, I have one baby in my uterus, exactly where it should be, got to see Little Bit and the heartbeat and will post pictures after I figure out how to use our scanner! Measuring 1.31 centimeters or 7 weeks 4 days (pretty close to what I estimated). 160 beats per minute! Donny came back for the ultrasound. The doctor said, "that's your uterus" and before she said anything it was obvious that there was a baby firmly placed inside of it. That was possibly the most special moment of my life so far, rivaling my wedding (except the outfit was much less impressive). So, we held and squeezed hands while a little camera in an undignified place showed our Little Bit exactly where a baby is supposed to be, and a little spot in the middle pulsing, little heart pumping already. Joyousness and much, much love.

Special, special, special day.

Yaaaaaaay!!

How exciting!!

Pictures of Little Bitty Bitty Bit!





The bottom of the second one shows the heartbeat which is perfect and amazing.

Amazing how much bigger Little Bit is a week and a half along than 6-week Wee Brontosaurus was! Dude do they ever grow fast!!

BAAAAAAAYYYYBEEEEEEEE

Yay!!! So exciting!

Awwww! yay!

I didn't have an early ultrasound with my first 2. It wasn't standard back then. My one with Kinley, Brian was in DC for a month, so I was by myself. Maybe #4 will be the charm? (No, I'm not pregnant.)

No, I'm not pregnant.

Yet.

No, I'm not pregnant.

Yet.

Look who knows so much!

(Actually, you're right. I haven't made it a secret that there will be 4 kids in our family and we still have 3, so the last will be coming in the future.)

On the "familiar face" dilemma, there's been some progress. I have re-committed to attempting a home birth. My high BP is essentially asymptomatic, so if there's nothing else to worry about, I'm going to push for being at home. I'm going to speak to a friend here who has known about Wee Brontosaurus for a long time and ask if she would consider being there if it's outside the time my mom will be here.

And most importantly, my best friend, who has been amazing support this whole time, is cool being with me over skype for at least part of the process.

I'm going to be okay, regardless. And at the end, I'll have a baby!