Philotic Web

Our Mission Statement: We strive to cultivate an environment where members can reject the media driven mentality that thinness equals beauty and embrace the full spectrum of God/Invisible Pink Unicorn-given human forms.

Our Mascot is Ed, The Cupcake, and symbolizes our aim to not feel guilty when indulging in life's little pleasures.

Events: Thus far, our esteemed organization has had one meeting but hopes to meet on a bi-monthly basis at a minimum. Topics of discussion include how we exercised not to lose weight but rather to be healthy, how we didn't skip dessert or meals to bolster our sense of self-worth, and there was also talk of killer whale penises earlier in the night, but I don't think that was part of the official meeting.

Rules and Requirements to Join: Appreciate your body, whatever size it is, and strive to keep it healthy, at size 2 or size 12*. You must also have a sense of humor, preferably like Scrubs, and definitely should like food.


To become a member, please write a short response as to why you'd make a good member. Skeletons need not apply.**



*Your actual size may vary, especially if you are a male.
**Skeletons with skin and a pulse may.

I am a fat kid because i love to make and enjoy consuming all kinds of delicious foods... I enjoy hiking, biking, walking the dog, wrestling, and running to interact with family and friends, keep happy, and keep my dog happy.

Teresa, you goob, you're already a member. You need to help me screen potential new members. If no one else wants to join the 6(?) of us, then we'll just use this space for club members.

I wish to be a club member! I am too skinny and am in a kind of bent shape due to too much slouching, but I don't care.

And you already know my sense of humor, puh-leaze.

isn't that cupcake a little small for a stormtrooper?

Okay, I don't know if I can make meetings, but ME. I was totally born for this club.

Or, do you want our applications to be more official-like?

Ahem.

Dear Esteemed Members of the Chunky Monkeys' Selection Board,

I have long admired your commitment to embracing bodies of all shapes and sizes. I would very much like to become a member or affiliate of your organization. Below please find an ennumerated list of reasons I would make a good memeber:

1. I have been within one size, up or down, of the size I was when I hit puberty at the age of 13-14 (which is on the largish size). The vast majority of the 16-17 years since then, I've felt pretty damn good about my body. Or, well, I try to and have a very good success rate for a woman significantly larger than media influences suggest she ought to be.

2. I was raised to believe that it is absolutely rude to make disparaging (or passive-aggressive complimentary) remarks about someone's food while they are eating it, whether it's because of caloric content or disgust with their combination, for example, of liver and peanut butter. You would be surprised how many people do not understand this basic premise of lunch room or meal/snack time courtesy.

3. I never, ever look in other people's shopping carts at the grocery store and/or judge them for the content. (Actually, I almost never judge people for their food choices, healthy or no. I'll be happy for people if they're reaching goals they've set for themselves, but if they don't or don't want to, I don't particularly care.)

4. My friends and family members come in all different shapes and sizes, and I love them all and think they are beautiful.

5. I think my very hour-glass shape looks beautiful in a wedding dress.

6. One of my favorite things to do in the morning is to eat a couple of Oreos while drinking coffee and watching Sex and the City reruns. And I don't care who knows it! (Well, I kind of do. There are certain people I wouldn't tell. They would definitely not belong in this organization. But I don't care who knows it on Pweb!)

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Kirsten
(starlooker)

Chunky Monkeys! I beg to be a part of you.

I believe strongly in food, specifically in delicious food. Diet food and low-fat food is disgusting. These things do not make us better! They are tasteless and unfilling. One slice of 3 year old cheddar is much more life-enriching then 150 slices of low fat cheese.
Life is too short not to eat dessert, too short to be constantly dieting and depriving yourself!

I am a proud chunky monkey.


I believe in eating healthy, but it's moderation and eating fresh foods that are much better for you then anything with diet in the name.

I'm already a member, I just wanted to give my support to all the other Chunky Monkeys out there!

Talk to me post-puberty, and my heart's desire would be to join the Chunky Monkeys.

Right now, however, it's practically impossible. While I highly appreciate the organization's beliefs and goals, high-school society around me does not, in fact, and (quite sadly) they pretty much decide whether I'm happy or unhappy.

And right now, when I'm in a risky situation in life, I prefer being happy to standing for good ideals.

This is as gay as AIDS.

You guys just gave me intellectual diabetes.

Ah, Satya, the great humanitarian who thoughtlessly uses slurs as though they're intelligent and fancies himself above the rest of his species. While you're busy saving us and our fellow members of mankind so that you always have a group to look down upon, I'll be over here having a sense of humor with my friends about something that isn't as shallow as you like to think.

Jeff, Kirsten, Jan:



Welcome to the club!

I'm on a fairly restricted diet, but for food intolerance reasons, so I hope that doesn't preclude me from joining. I am still very much a foodie, and am in fact planning a food-cation for one of the next months. I have already picked out all of the restaurants I will be visiting (and the hike I'll do to offset the gluttony!). I'd make a good member because I love dosas, gnocchi, potato puffs, traveling, cookie, and I need to get over some of my residual body issues (I keep wanting to buy clothes that are too big/my high school size, there's this weird disconnect/insecurity going on I need to stop).

I finally worked out tonight. I've been feeling like I have been really pushing myself on hikes the last couple weekends, but then I haven't actually been sore after them, so maybe I'm not as out of shape as I thought after sinus infection season. Wooo!

This is as gay as AIDS.

You guys just gave me intellectual diabetes.

Satya,

We are very happy to inform you that your application to the Pweb Chapter of the Chunky Monkeys From Funky Town has been approved!

Sincerely,
Someone that doesn't have any authority to say that

(also, you mean super-AIDS)

Despite my continued atrocious eating habits (sorry, but freezies make summer awesome!), I can finally feel happy with myself. I'm far happier being in shape - or on the way, as signified by my cycling victories today - than I am losing weight. I still wouldn't mind losing a bit, but the thing that genuinely makes me happy with myself I have already accomplished!

I really like eating things! Like chunky monkey ice cream! Also, I have no trouble (or qualms regarding) ingesting 8 pounds of food in a single sitting for the right occasion.

Also, skeleton bodies creep me out.

I wish I could join this group, but despite the astonishing progress I've made over the past few years, I highly doubt I'll ever be able to. :p

Keep up the effort anyway! No one says it has to come naturally to you. It doesn't for me, but I keep reminding myself anyway.

Well, today I'm down two pounds. This is not a huge victory, but I'm happy about it. I'm walking loads more than I was in Canada, and eating much healthier. I've cut out the majority of sugary drinks, my chips and candy intake is limited, and on the whole, I am happy. I was really unhappy with my lifestyle before we moved (despite my summertime high - see above).

That's awesome! Lifestyle changes are really huge. I can't wait to start walking everywhere again when it thaws out a bit here! David really wants me to start biking with him. Maybe this will be the year I swallow my pride...

And as you said above, Ali, it's more important to be in good shape than to be concerned over weight.

For me, I'm in the worst shape I've been in for at least the past two years and have some of the worst eating habits I've had in about the same time, and that disappoints me to no end. Sure, I've maintained my weight but who cares when I'm getting winded doing stuff I could breeze through at this point 6 months ago?

Worse, I can make pretty depressing comments about where I'm getting my self-esteem boosts lately (not me, which is not good) but I'd rather forgo judgment on that front, even if just from myself.

Thanks to the Tiny One, I've actually lost weight. I don't expect that to last much longer, though.

Oooh, morning/all day sickness? Has it passed or still going on?

Vague nausea for a couple months, but very little vomiting, thank heavens. And it wasn't even his fault, it was something else. But he did put a cap on my appetite, and I'd get full very fast.

But his existence also coincided with recently being in England and a dramatic upswing in physical activity, especially walking. Either way, I've lost about 5 pounds, despite increases in bust.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... -GAIN.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

This thread just made me remember I have Pumpkin Cheesecake in the fridge *dashes off to the fridge*

Those women are aspiring to be healthy weight, not to be overweight/obese.

Which is the total opposite of any current ads I've ever seen. Hah. Healthy weights in magazines? Flaunted? As something positive and attractive? Don't see it.

I never applied to join this club. I am not feeling creative enough to come up with a formal letter or request. But here are some reasons I think I should be allowed to join.

1) I love food and just ate my sister-in-law's wonderful leftover apple pie with great pleasure.
2) I am in month two of Insanity, but not because I want the "beach body" or whatever it promises, but because my roommate wanted moral support and I like being in shape.
3) I am not much of a chunky monkey or curvy at all, but I'm okay with it. (well, excluding the part of me that would take more beauty over brains)

here are some reasons I think I should be allowed to join.

Welcome to the club. It's all about what's healthy for your body, as that looks different for everyone. :)

Yahoo! I'm official!

I feel like this xkcd fits in this thread. 'Tis the season to embrace the Cadbury.

I regret to inform the noble conglomeration of chunky-monkeys that despite the best efforts of cheetos, oreo goop, and nutella, and 5 months of being stationary, I remain unchunky. I hope we can still be friends. My stomach/soul belong to this club, even if my metabolism does not.

I feel like this xkcd fits in this thread. 'Tis the season to embrace the Cadbury.

It was incredibly depressing to learn from the hovertext that the thicker filling I've found in Cadbury Eggs the last few seasons is intentional.

I kept thinking I had gotten ones that had gotten a shell breach and thus the filling had dried up. Why would they do that on purpose? Blech!

eta: Logistically, it probably is much less messy when, inevitably, some eggs get smashed in transit. Before, there would be goo oozing out. Now, nothing, since it's dried up blah filling.