Philotic Web

I'm not familiar with the differences between American and UK/Irish salsa, EL, but the best salsa I know that can be obtained on this side is the Old El Paso salsa. It may not be up to your standards though.

It's not bad, I will eat Old El Paso here. It's a bit different from home, but the big problem is it's never, ever hot enough. And it's so expensive for a tiny little jar!

But you're right, at least it is available at all here, which puts it one up on everything else on the list.

When my cousin was on his mission in England last year, he said that they would get salsa at Costco. The Kirkland Brand is mine and Brian's favorite, and that's what they would get. Is there any way for you to get into a Costco?

Alas, neither of us are members, and the nearest one is in Leeds (a £8 train ride, plus the bus, minimum). Otherwise that would be a great idea!

Well, boo! Maybe you'll befriend someone who has a membership and they can snag you some when they go!

It's not bad, I will eat Old El Paso here. It's a bit different from home, but the big problem is it's never, ever hot enough. And it's so expensive for a tiny little jar!

But you're right, at least it is available at all here, which puts it one up on everything else on the list.

Heh, clearly you have a greater tolerance for spice than I do. The spicy Old El Paso one is plenty spicy for me, any more and it would be uncomfortably hot.

It's not bad, I will eat Old El Paso here. It's a bit different from home, but the big problem is it's never, ever hot enough. And it's so expensive for a tiny little jar!

But you're right, at least it is available at all here, which puts it one up on everything else on the list.

Heh, clearly you have a greater tolerance for spice than I do. The spicy Old El Paso one is plenty spicy for me, any more and it would be uncomfortably hot.

That's a UK thing too. :p

List of things I call my kids (besides their names):

For Kinley:
Widget, or Widget Doodles (no idea why)
The Kinley Monster
Missy, or Little Miss

For Brayden:
Brayden-with-a-dirty-face
Crazedo (because our phones suggest "Crazedo" when they don't know "Brayden" is a word)
Bud or Buddy
Plunderbuss (variation on a pirate weapon)

For Tyler:
Busterino or Busteroni...and cheese
Bungus (because Steph can't say "Bat Fungus" at midnight)
Dude, or Mister Dude, or Doodley Dude
(Whatever we're talking about)...McGee (i.e. Come on, No-sock McGee!)

(some of the boys' names are interchangeable)

We call Nicole's nephew Dude

Reasons why I am not a good mother:

-I yell a lot.
-Sometimes I cover their mouths with my hand to stop them from screaming or crying when I've yelled at them.
-Most of the time, when one of the boys gets hurt, I'm annoyed instead of sympathetic.
-I'm not a good house keeper.
-I don't read to them enough.
-I realized last night, when someone else was trying to play hide and seek with my kids, that I've never played hide and seek with them.
-Most of the time, the mess of play doh isn't worth the fun the kids have.
-I don't run around outside with them very often. Therefore, they don't play outside very much. Usually only when the older neighbor boy is playing with them. Sometimes, by themselves with the back door open while I'm in the kitchen. (We don't have a fence, so this makes me a really bad mom.)
-I spend too much time on the computer.
-A lot of the time, I would rather listen to the radio in the car than to talk to them.
-I don't usually go to the effort to set up playdates for them.
-I don't take pictures and video of them very often. Brian is always the one to pull it out because he's annoyed that I haven't done it. Therefore, all our picture and home videos rarely include me doing anything fun with the kids. Just Brian doing fun things with them.
-Half the time, their hair is a mess and their faces are dirty.
-Kinley is over a year old and I still haven't started her journal.
-I only change their sheets when they spill something or throw up on them.
-I don't let them help in the kitchen often enough.
-I don't praise them enough.
-I don't tell them I love them enough.
-Tyler's only been to the dentist twice. Brayden never has.
-I put them to bed a 7, partly so I can have a few hours of peace before Brian comes home from work.

You're full of s***. It sounds like you're doing a much better job than a lot of people would. If anything, the simple fact that you can recognize your mistakes and want to improve on them makes you a better mom than you would be otherwise (even if you are being a tad melodramatic about it).

You're full of s***. It sounds like you're doing a much better job than a lot of people would. If anything, the simple fact that you can recognize your mistakes and want to improve on them makes you a better mom than you would be otherwise (even if you are being a tad melodramatic about it).

Why hello, well-intentioned male-fail.


Steph, you are only one person, with limited time and resources (like energy); you can't do it all. Those are legit concerns you listed but you are raising happy, healthy, caring, intelligent children. Don't beat yourself up because you are a great mom. Promise.

Reasons why I am not a good mother:

-I yell a lot.
-Sometimes I cover their mouths with my hand to stop them from screaming or crying when I've yelled at them.
-Most of the time, when one of the boys gets hurt, I'm annoyed instead of sympathetic.
-I'm not a good house keeper.
-I don't read to them enough.
-I realized last night, when someone else was trying to play hide and seek with my kids, that I've never played hide and seek with them.
-Most of the time, the mess of play doh isn't worth the fun the kids have.
-I don't run around outside with them very often. Therefore, they don't play outside very much. Usually only when the older neighbor boy is playing with them. Sometimes, by themselves with the back door open while I'm in the kitchen. (We don't have a fence, so this makes me a really bad mom.)
-I spend too much time on the computer.
-A lot of the time, I would rather listen to the radio in the car than to talk to them.
-I don't usually go to the effort to set up playdates for them.
-I don't take pictures and video of them very often. Brian is always the one to pull it out because he's annoyed that I haven't done it. Therefore, all our picture and home videos rarely include me doing anything fun with the kids. Just Brian doing fun things with them.
-Half the time, their hair is a mess and their faces are dirty.
-Kinley is over a year old and I still haven't started her journal.
-I only change their sheets when they spill something or throw up on them.
-I don't let them help in the kitchen often enough.
-I don't praise them enough.
-I don't tell them I love them enough.
-Tyler's only been to the dentist twice. Brayden never has.
-I put them to bed a 7, partly so I can have a few hours of peace before Brian comes home from work.

I don't know if this makes you feel better, but there is maybe one or two things on your list that I don't do. I understand. I had a bit of a breakdown about being a bad mom yesterday. I yell, I lose my temper way too much.

I will never live up to my neat-freak mother. I had no idea that motherhood would turn me into my father.

When I was growing up, my mom had to wrangle between 3 and 5 kids at a go. I have no idea how she did it. The house was messy, because she picked different battles to fight. We ate kraft dinner and lipton soup regularly. We were constantly messy and dirty, and none of us ever had journals - we had boxes of unsorted "memory box" stuff.

As for me, when a kid falls or bumps themself, and I can tell it's nothing more serious than shock or a wee bit of pain, I actually find it kind of funny. That may actually be worse than unsympathetic. I laugh at them. I'm a terrible, terrible person.

You know what, you're their mom, and they're never going to remember the little things but they will always remember that you love them.

About the playdoh, my mom had a couple of ugly old serving trays, and that's where the playdoh happened, as well as all the other crafts. We knew to keep the stuff on the tray, and it made clean-up a lot easier.

But back to the important part, don't beat yourself up too much, you are awesome.

You already know I think you're a good mom, definitely, certainly, easily, absolutely.

Just one other thought I had, that has helped me gain some perspective because the idea of having children used to scare me to bits. It's this. Human babies were meant to be born to human parents. And no human parent is going to be perfect - by definition, humans are imperfect and prone to errors. And if babies were designed to be born to imperfect people, there must be some wiggle room in there for the normal, general types of imperfections all parents have. I'm not saying that parents don't influence their children, but I think the annoyances and spats and daily grind types of things ultimately give sway to the big picture.

And big-picture wise, your family is lovely, and I think you know that.

That's not to say you shouldn't try to better yourself, if there are issues that you really want to change, but prioritize and remember, like Alea said, you can only work with the resources you have.

Thanks for all of your votes of confidence. They have helped keep me more balanced today.

I'm just having a hard time right now, with the parenting thing. It was much harder to come home from Hong Kong than I anticipated. (Is there such thing as post-vacation depression?) I thought I'd come home with a renewed sense of vigor for parenting, but it was completely the opposite. And now, there are things that I know my kids need that I haven't been able to and/or can't provide them, so I feel like I'm failing. My emotions aren't good at rational thinking.

Thanks, again, everyone. I <3 pweb.

Things I want:

A sling
A co-sleeper
Fabric diapers
Better shoes
A couple of bottles (not many) so Rei can help with feeding

I have much advice on slings/carriers if you want!

Actually, I have much advice on everything, but that's only if you want my opinion.

Heehee, I probably won't mind some advice. I've been doing a lot of reading, but there's so much conflicting information out there! I know the things I want, but even then there's a lot of options. My mom is probably going to make the sling, because MAN those things are pricey for what is essentially a long strip of fabric! You and Paul, and Steph and Brian, seem like very commonsense parents, which is what I'm aiming for, so if you have advice, sure.

I knew I'd forgotten something in the rush of posting. A pram!

Well, out walking around town today I spotted one in the window of a charity shop. I looked at the price and the brand, and nearly did a spit-take. When we went in to take a closer look, it did indeed have all the bits and bobs required, even the instruction booklet.

Things I wanted in a pram:
* able to switch from rear-facing to front-facing
* a good shade and rain-cover
* usable from infant to toddler (flat pram to tilted seat)
* a good, safe harness

Extra things I got:
* extra warm layer for winter
* diaper bag
* umbrella sunshade

It was less than 10% of the price I'd pay to get it new, and I'm not even sure if that includes all the accessories. Win!

Awesome! I love great deals.

Sa-weet!!!

The surreal bit is we now have a pram in our room. I mean, that just seems odd to me right now.

It's the first actual baby purchase, so yes. s*** just got real.

Things pweb is collectively obseesed with:

*Harry Potter
*Mean Girls
*Star Wars
*Eating
*Pooping

Things pweb is collectively obseesed with:

*Harry Potter
*Mean Girls
*Star Wars
*Eating
*Pooping

Don't forget sex. I know that thread got a little buried, but it was kind of big deal.

I almost bumped the sex thread yesterday but I couldn't determine if that was the right thread for what I was going to say. It was either there or the girly thread but I didn't post in either. Silly indecision.

Things I call my kids instead of their names:

-Pumpkin
-Pumpkin Butt
-Pumpkin Pie
-Pumpkin Pants
-Muffin Cube
-Muffin Butt
-Button
-Miss Moo
-Moo-Moo
-Pinny Pudding and Pie
-Grumpy Pants
-Grumpster

Things I really miss about home right now:
- Sitting on the couch with a cat in my lap, watching trashy tv with my roommate
- Seeing a movie in theaters with popcorn
- Fries and a St. Louis beer at a local trivia night
- Bike rides with my dad
- Connecticut foliage
- Watching the Packers & Badgers with my family
- Youtube, Pandora, Hulu
- BAKING
- my favorite pizza place. I really need some pizza.

Food I didn't realize I liked before coming to China:
- Eggplant (goodness I love Yu Xiang Qie Zi)
- Green tea (I know, I know. I used to think I didn't like tea at all. Now at least I can handle it)
- Some Chinese desserts (Loving double layer milk with chopped mango!)
- This delicious street food, not sure what its called, but its basically a savory crepe. A full, fulfilling meal for 5 kuai (less than $1!)

Things that were in the stolen car that may or may not be recovered when we go see it but probably won't:

-Ginny's car seat (not that hard to replace, but still sad)
-Our stroller (very sad. I was so proud of how we only ever bought one stroller for two kids and it was a great and inexpensive one. I loved that stroller.)
-a map of St. John's (easy to replace, but sad because it was the first thing we ever bought in this city)
-Ginny's very, very awesome Frog Umbrella (I can't even say how sad I am about that)
-The mirror we use to see Maggie in her car seat (not that big of a deal, just one more thing to replace)
-I'm sure there were some toys in there, but I'm not sure what ones
-One of Ginny's winter mittens
-our emergency car stuff like a first aid kit and snow shovel
-4 CDs (Jack Johnson, Simon and Garfunkel, Muppets and Best of Raffi)

New year, new list!

Movies Seen for the First Time in 2012:

January: (3)
Moneyball
Cashback
Straw Dogs

February: (7)
From Prada to Nada
About Adam
Country Strong
Burlesque
Brazil
Princess: A Modern Fairytale
Bad Teacher

March: (11)
Contagion
The Secret of Kells
Clue
50/50
My Week With Marilyn
Young Adult
What's Your Number
Hunger Games
Melancholia
Like Crazy
Real Steel

April: (8)
We Bought a Zoo
Footloose
The Help
Captain America: The First Avenger
Thor
I Don't Know How She Does It
Sleeping Beauty
Hugo

May: (8)
The Rebound
The Descendants
Cake
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Goldeneye
The Darkest Hour
Men in Black III
Carnage

June: (11)
The Whistleblower
Christmas Cupid
Alien
New Years' Eve
The Vow
Fireflies in the Garden
Never Let Me Go
The Woman in Black
Everything Must Go
Midnight in Paris
Mission: Impossible

July: (4)
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Mirror Mirror
John Carter
The Decoy Bride

August (5)
Adventureland
127 Hours
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
A Little Bit of Heaven
Friends With Kids

September (9)
Man On a Ledge
The Deep Blue Sea
Love's Kitchen
Risky Business
The Five Year Engagement
Snow White and the Huntsman
Glengarry Glen Ross
The Avengers
What To Expect When You're Expecting

October (11)
Playing By Heart
Hysteria
Joyful Noise
Tomorrow When the War Began
Daydream Nation
Flipped
The Secret of the Wings
Cabin In the Woods
Funny Games
Moonrise Kingdom
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

November (5)
Trainspotting
Summer Wars
L!fe Happens
Magic Mike
The Amazing Spider-man

December (8)
Brave
Dark Knight Rises
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
White Christmas
The Polar Express
A Novel Romance
Total Recall (remake)
Les Miserables

90

Things that were in the stolen car that may or may not be recovered when we go see it but probably won't:

-Ginny's car seat (not that hard to replace, but still sad)
-Our stroller (very sad. I was so proud of how we only ever bought one stroller for two kids and it was a great and inexpensive one. I loved that stroller.)
-a map of St. John's (easy to replace, but sad because it was the first thing we ever bought in this city)
-Ginny's very, very awesome Frog Umbrella (I can't even say how sad I am about that)
-The mirror we use to see Maggie in her car seat (not that big of a deal, just one more thing to replace)
-I'm sure there were some toys in there, but I'm not sure what ones
-One of Ginny's winter mittens
-our emergency car stuff like a first aid kit and snow shovel
-4 CDs (Jack Johnson, Simon and Garfunkel, Muppets and Best of Raffi)

Now that we have the car back what was really gone was:

-our windshield wipers
-the map
-the snow shovel
-the car seat
-the umbrella
-the mirror
-the CDs (except Simon and Garfunkel - but that was tossed under a seat, so it's probably wrecked)

BUT, we still have:
- the stroller
-the first aid kit
-the majority of stuff that was in the trunk
-the insurance and registration info

Windshield wipers? What kind of criminals are these people?

Windshield wipers? What kind of criminals are these people?

I know! If they really wanted our wipers, why didn't they just take them and leave the car?

Maybe they really wanted the map and shovel?

Let's hope it wasn't for the purpose of burying a body.