Confession: I finally feel like I fit this thread!
Confessions of a 20-something mother
-
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 2454
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:36 pm
- Title: Rocky Mountain Mama
- First Joined: 0- 8-2000
- Location: colorado, baby!
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
"When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum
-
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:18 pm
- Title: Pastamancer Tony
- First Joined: 06 Feb 1916
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
This post deserves a double one for each line.Dude! Taal!
Confession: I finally feel like I fit this thread!
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:00 pm
- Title: Guilty
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I love my girlfriend terribly, but there are times I wish she was more... Girly? Sexy.
She'll wear a dress only on the rarest occasions. Even rarer does she wear makeup, though I'm all right with that piece. No skirts. No fancy shoes—adamantly no heels. Almost exclusively wears t-shirts.
For the most part, I don't mind. But when I see other girls looking sexy as he'll, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out.
She could be sexy if she tried, she just doesn't want to, and I respect that, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing.
She'll wear a dress only on the rarest occasions. Even rarer does she wear makeup, though I'm all right with that piece. No skirts. No fancy shoes—adamantly no heels. Almost exclusively wears t-shirts.
For the most part, I don't mind. But when I see other girls looking sexy as he'll, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out.
She could be sexy if she tried, she just doesn't want to, and I respect that, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing.
The password is "guilty"
-
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
My knee-jerk reaction:
What are you doing to try to be sexier (I hope you mean sexier and not sexy in the last part "She could be sexy if she tried"; if you don't find her sexy in jeans and a t-shirt, given that's her M.O., that's kind of troublesome in my opinion) for her? Oh, right! Men don't have to worry nearly as much as women about being physically pleasing! Damn, I wish I were a man sometimes.
My less knee-jerk reaction:
Have you talked to her about this or would it just cause problems?
What are you doing to try to be sexier (I hope you mean sexier and not sexy in the last part "She could be sexy if she tried"; if you don't find her sexy in jeans and a t-shirt, given that's her M.O., that's kind of troublesome in my opinion) for her? Oh, right! Men don't have to worry nearly as much as women about being physically pleasing! Damn, I wish I were a man sometimes.
My less knee-jerk reaction:
Have you talked to her about this or would it just cause problems?
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
- Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:22 am
- Title: is real!
- First Joined: 0- 9-2004
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I've been in the same situation, but reversed. As in, sometimes I wish my husband would put away the Spiderman 3 t-shirt he's had for years. I try to indirectly control the situation by upping the ante in my own dress and suggesting that he should match, and of course complementing him like crazy when he does. Sometimes I'll also play the "remember when" card and mention a time he was dressed nicely, then finish with a "you were really freakin' hot."
Yay, I'm a llama again!
-
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
For some of us, it's not a matter of laziness (all the time) that has us dressing the way we do. It is a matter of emotional/mental comfort and the more people say "I think you'd look okay like this," the more it pushes people like me away from that. The attention from the majority of people who would say something is largely uncomfortable and unwanted (feels kind of like being in a zoo) and it feels like I'm trying to be someone I'm not when I do it.
Now, if I knew it would make the SO happier for me to try, if approached the right way, I'd probably want to do it for them. Of course I want to look sexy for that person. I just don't know what would be reasonable to make him stop thinking I was a disappointment for not doing it more often/all the time.
(Uh, to be clear, I am not the girlfriend in question here; I'm pretty sure I know who Confessions is but it's not anyone I'm dating. )
Now, if I knew it would make the SO happier for me to try, if approached the right way, I'd probably want to do it for them. Of course I want to look sexy for that person. I just don't know what would be reasonable to make him stop thinking I was a disappointment for not doing it more often/all the time.
(Uh, to be clear, I am not the girlfriend in question here; I'm pretty sure I know who Confessions is but it's not anyone I'm dating. )
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:00 pm
- Title: Guilty
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I find her very attractive in any state. I do not often find her sexy.(I hope you mean sexier and not sexy in the last part "She could be sexy if she tried"; if you don't find her sexy in jeans and a t-shirt, given that's her M.O., that's kind of troublesome in my opinion)
We have talked about, but I think our messages got crossed. She's made attempts to be more sexy in e bedroom, which is appreciated, but she was already sexy enough in that setting.
I just want to be able to get dressed up nice and go out, but it doesn't work when the most dressed up she gets is khakis and a sweater. Even on the rare occasion she wears a dress, she doesn't wear a dress. It's like she's wearing khakis and a sweater that are shaped like a dress.
The password is "guilty"
-
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I am trying really hard to see your side as anything more than what I'm seeing it as, I promise I am, but I'm just sympathizing so much more with her. I don't think your feelings on the matter aren't important but really, there is so much pressure on women to be this for men as it is.
But you all know I have issues with this whole thing so please don't take my opinions too personally.
But you all know I have issues with this whole thing so please don't take my opinions too personally.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
- Luet
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4511
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:49 pm
- Title: Bird Nerd
- First Joined: 01 Jul 2000
- Location: Albany, NY
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Does she have low self-esteem? Is she unhappy with her weight? Does she have a history of physical or sexual abuse? I only ask because sometimes, not always, the things you describe have deeper issues behind them. I say this from personal experience.
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:00 pm
- Title: Guilty
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
She has awful self-esteem, but she's completely in denial about it, which makes it difficult to help her improve her self-image.Does she have low self-esteem? Is she unhappy with her weight?
It's hard not reading your posts as to suggest that I don't sympathize with her. I do. I know these things. That's why I'm posting anonymously on a forum about it instead of foolishly trying to pressure her into changing her ways.I am trying really hard to see your side as anything more than what I'm seeing it as, I promise I am, but I'm just sympathizing so much more with her. I don't think your feelings on the matter aren't important but really, there is so much pressure on women to be this for men as it is.
The password is "guilty"
-
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I'm sorry. It simply feels like your first post confirms so much of what I've already heard from men and what I fear continuing to hear. "If you don't do X, Y, and/or Z, I'll still love you but I'll be disappointed with your appearance/body. But, hey, don't get upset when I tell you I find this other stuff, Hollywood or right next door, attractive. It's not like I'm comparing you to them..."
It makes me a little sad, is all. If you understand where she's coming from, well, that's something.
It makes me a little sad, is all. If you understand where she's coming from, well, that's something.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
- Luet
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4511
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:49 pm
- Title: Bird Nerd
- First Joined: 01 Jul 2000
- Location: Albany, NY
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Yeah, honestly it could be my husband writing that post (other than the fact that he doesn't come here and I'm his wife, not girlfriend). He says he doesn't care what I wear or if I wear makeup but for all I know, he secretly feels differently. I do wear skirts/dresses twice a week to church and some of them are fairly fancy with heels. But other than that, I dress in a generally frumpy manner. I don't wear much, if any, makeup. I know why but I don't feel capable of changing any of it. I don't want to feel or look sexy. I actually bought a pair of short (for me; as in, shorter than the knee) shorts this spring but I never got up the nerve to wear them. I don't want men to look at me that way. And then I feel bad about myself that I'm not attractive. How messed up is that?
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa
- Young Val
- Commander
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:00 pm
- Title: Papermaster
- First Joined: 12 Sep 2000
- Location: from New York City to St. Paul, MN (but I'm a Boston girl at heart).
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I don't know, while I totally understand Nomi and Alea's points (and have been there myself) I think I have to side with Confessions, here. I think it's ok and natural and totally normal to want something like that from your partner once in awhile. It sounds like Confessions is being respectful of his girlfriend's boundaries and feelings, and is just a little wistful at the whole situation. And, having been in his shoes before, I totally get that.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
-
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Sounds to me like she does wear dresses on occasion but she's doing it "wrong." Can't win for losing.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Confessions, in case you couldn't tell or I wasn't clear, it's nothing against you. Please, please trust that I have some issues (or a lot) that I haven't dealt with properly and I'm unfairly looking at you to be a scape goat; most of these posts from me have been knee-jerk reaction type posts and I should have paused much longer before opening my mouth, if I still felt the need to at all. Most every guy on this board, that I know on any sort of level beyond the most superficial, is a decent guy. I know that. I doubt that you're an exception. Please forgive me for making you feel at all bad, because I'm assuming I did and you didn't deserve that.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
- Luet
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4511
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:49 pm
- Title: Bird Nerd
- First Joined: 01 Jul 2000
- Location: Albany, NY
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
*hugs Alea and Confessions*
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa
- starlooker
- Commander
- Posts: 3823
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:19 pm
- Title: Dr. Mom
- First Joined: 28 Oct 2002
- Location: Home. With cats who have names.
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Sending my husband out to a job fair wearing a nice shirt and the pair of dress pants I had to spend months convincing him to buy. "Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man" is running through my head. He looks damn good. I love him in jeans and old t-shirts, but it's nice seeing him dressed up. Made me think of this thread.
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 313
- Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:55 am
- Title: Ganon's Bane
- First Joined: 02 Feb 1922
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Are you just looking for some tush?"Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man" is running through my head. He looks damn good.
I don't want to do things. I want to not do things.
- neo-dragon
- Commander
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:26 pm
- Title: Huey Revolutionary
- Location: Canada
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Confession: It annoys me how people act like it's the Second Coming every time Apple launches a new product.
"Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'
-
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:18 pm
- Title: Pastamancer Tony
- First Joined: 06 Feb 1916
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Confession: I've been inadvertently ignoring some of my friends in favor of coming here recently. I need to find a balance.
-
- Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:22 am
- Title: is real!
- First Joined: 0- 9-2004
- Luet
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4511
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:49 pm
- Title: Bird Nerd
- First Joined: 01 Jul 2000
- Location: Albany, NY
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Of course, we don't want to discourage loyalty to other long-term friends, either. There's enough Noodle to go around...
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa
-
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 553
- Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:18 pm
- Title: Pastamancer Tony
- First Joined: 06 Feb 1916
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Helen, of course you're my friends. That's why I said neglecting "some" of my friends.
The trouble is, I was confronted by a friend today asking why I was ignoring them. I didn't have a good answer...
The trouble is, I was confronted by a friend today asking why I was ignoring them. I didn't have a good answer...
-
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 2446
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 11:48 pm
- Title: Actually, I'm Fred (and a monster)
- First Joined: 16 Mar 2004
- Location: Singing on Krikkit.
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I just found out narwhals are a real thing
It didn't help that people kept calling them the unicorn of the sea.
It didn't help that people kept calling them the unicorn of the sea.
Member since March 16th, 2004.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
-
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4027
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:32 pm
- Title: Queen Ducky
- First Joined: 25 Feb 2002
- Location: The Far East (of Canada)
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I just found out narwhals are a real thing
It didn't help that people kept calling them the unicorn of the sea.
Heehee!! I just saw a narwhal horn at the museum. It was crazy long! Apparently they live around here, but it's pretty rare to see one.
One Duck to rule them all.
--------------------------------
It needs to be about 20% cooler.
--------------------------------
It needs to be about 20% cooler.
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Free cloud storage in exchange for brand loyalty?Confession: It annoys me how people act like it's the Second Coming every time Apple launches a new product.
Yebra: A cross between a zebra and something that fancied a zebra.
-
- Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:22 am
- Title: is real!
- First Joined: 0- 9-2004
- neo-dragon
- Commander
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:26 pm
- Title: Huey Revolutionary
- Location: Canada
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I don't like cloud storage either. I mean, it's useful being able to access content from anywhere, but if it's not actually on my hard drive I don't feel like I own it. That's why I wouldn't want a Chromebook.Free cloud storage in exchange for brand loyalty?Confession: It annoys me how people act like it's the Second Coming every time Apple launches a new product.
"Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'
- Platypi007
- Soldier
- Posts: 399
- Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:56 pm
- First Joined: 0- 0-2006
- Location: Columbia, SC
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
Cloud services are great for some things. I use Sugarsync to back up my files and synchronize them with a couple of computers and my phone. I use Amazon's cloud drive for the music I've bought with Amazon. I like Google Calendar a lot and am using Gmail for my contacts these days.
However, I don't fully trust them. If I had some kind of super sensitive data, I wouldn't upload it to SS. I make sure I have local copies of my MP3s, and I have my contacts saved to my SIM card as well.
One major issue I have with cloud services is that you don't have any control over the service. If they decide to change something, start charging for something, or quit providing service then you are out of luck. I had been using Microsoft's MyPhone service to back up my Windows Mobile phone for a couple of years. My contacts, calendar, e-mails, texts, and media were all saved to the cloud and would restore automatically any time I lost it (this was great for when I was flashing ROMs on the phone). However, early this year I got an e-mail informing me that MS was no longer going to be offering this service, that they would migrate most of my stuff to their new cloud storage service and I could get a CD burned if I so desired. I'm pretty sure there is some new service for Windows Phone 7, but they phased out the older one and those of us with Windows Mobile 6.x were out of luck. I'm also pretty sure this was a not so subtle attempt to force people off the WinMo 6.x platform and onto the new Windows Phone 7 platform. (Yeah, I jumped ship and went with Android.)
So, I don't fully trust cloud services with my data ever, even if they have 99.999999999999% uptime guarantees, multiply redundant backups, and super-secure encryption. Even if your data is safe, you might come to rely n a service that will go away in a couple of years.
Just like computers didn't sign the death warrant on paper, cloud services won't sign the death warrant on local storage and services.
However, I don't fully trust them. If I had some kind of super sensitive data, I wouldn't upload it to SS. I make sure I have local copies of my MP3s, and I have my contacts saved to my SIM card as well.
One major issue I have with cloud services is that you don't have any control over the service. If they decide to change something, start charging for something, or quit providing service then you are out of luck. I had been using Microsoft's MyPhone service to back up my Windows Mobile phone for a couple of years. My contacts, calendar, e-mails, texts, and media were all saved to the cloud and would restore automatically any time I lost it (this was great for when I was flashing ROMs on the phone). However, early this year I got an e-mail informing me that MS was no longer going to be offering this service, that they would migrate most of my stuff to their new cloud storage service and I could get a CD burned if I so desired. I'm pretty sure there is some new service for Windows Phone 7, but they phased out the older one and those of us with Windows Mobile 6.x were out of luck. I'm also pretty sure this was a not so subtle attempt to force people off the WinMo 6.x platform and onto the new Windows Phone 7 platform. (Yeah, I jumped ship and went with Android.)
So, I don't fully trust cloud services with my data ever, even if they have 99.999999999999% uptime guarantees, multiply redundant backups, and super-secure encryption. Even if your data is safe, you might come to rely n a service that will go away in a couple of years.
Just like computers didn't sign the death warrant on paper, cloud services won't sign the death warrant on local storage and services.
-
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 2539
- Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:11 pm
- Title: Stayin' Alive
- First Joined: 17 Aug 2002
- Location: Evansville, IN
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
The only cloud service I use is my Gmail inbox and there's nothing in there I can't live without. Though, it would be annoying having to move my bill notifications and paypal (not to mention all the various web accounts - including Pweb - linked to that email) to a different email if Gmail ever ceased to be. It's kinda weird to even think of Gmail as a cloud though, since I'm pretty sure cloud as it relates to internet storage wasn't even a term yet when I originally got my account (I believe it was invite-only beta at the time).
The enemy's fly is down.
- Luet
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4511
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:49 pm
- Title: Bird Nerd
- First Joined: 01 Jul 2000
- Location: Albany, NY
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I was out taking bird pictures this morning and walking along railroad tracks for awhile. I happened upon a cat that had been cut in half on the tracks. How does a cat get caught unawares by a train?! Anyway, my confession is that I took a picture of the front half of the cat. I feel like this makes me a disturbed freak. But, it wasn't really decomposed much and it just looked so...odd. So, yeah.
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa
-
- Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:22 am
- Title: is real!
- First Joined: 0- 9-2004
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I'm eating 4 scrambled eggs with cheese for breakfast (with toast). Husband is eating cheerios. I keep telling him to come kiss me. That's what you get for having food allergies, husband. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.
Yay, I'm a llama again!
-
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 2539
- Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:11 pm
- Title: Stayin' Alive
- First Joined: 17 Aug 2002
- Location: Evansville, IN
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I'm listening to the Cardinals game on the radio at work.
The enemy's fly is down.
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:00 pm
- Title: Guilty
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
im feeling really hurt and sad and i cant confront the source because im justifiably worried theyll just get upset and make me feel even worse
The password is "guilty"
-
- Commander
- Posts: 2741
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:29 pm
- Title: 01111010 01100111
- First Joined: 0- 8-2001
- Location: Where you least expect me.
- Contact:
Re: Confessions of a 20-something mother
I can't say the alphabet backwards at all. I can't event remember what it is forwards without going through the song. When I go through the nato phonetic alphabet (when I was memorizing it, and to make sure I still know it), I can only get through a few of them before I have to go through the alphabet song to remember what the next letter is.
Proud member of the Canadian Alliance.
dgf hhw
dgf hhw
Return to “Milagre Town Square”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests