Philotic Web

I just randomly forgot to check pweb for a few days. What the hell?

I feel a little bad whenever I laugh at the double entendre when someone mentions blowing someone off, and they mean it in the non-bad way.

I realised today that I honestly can't handle it when people pronounce Latin badly. Especially when they expect me to do it too. I just can't do it. I don't care if you're French, you're speaking Latin and it does have a specific pronunciation.



... Just thinking about it upsets me still. I have to go lay down now.

Seeing, hearing, or hearing about other people crying makes me cry.

I run away from myself mentally to avoid hurt feelings.

I purposelly start fights when I'm on the phone with Nicole

My "best friend" is really pissing me off that I desperately want to start cutting him out of my life because I can't take it

I can't cut him out because he's the only guard for me as I fall from Nicole to suicide.

If she wasn't so stubborn and stupid to think I'd be okay with her staying with him I'd take her back...

I still love her.

It scares me to look back on the really special times the two of us had because I'm scared I'll never have it again. January 1, 2006 00:01AM, the exact minute I got engaged. Our trip together to Niagara.....I'm scared I'll never get that enjoyment, that happiness, that love and passion, again...with anyone else...

I'm trying....really stupidly hard....to feel even trace amounts of it.

And I'm failing.

In 3 days will be the 3 year anniversary of the first time I ever told Nicole that I loved her. It would be the last time until I first met her the next March.

Can you tell I miss Nicole?

These are my confessions (just when I thought I said all I can say...)

I just picked up and opened my thesis to illustrate a point to a student about the beauty of having a finished thesis. And I was filled with an almost maternal love and pride. And now I want to read it yet again.

I'm vain about my writing.

I have not been doing as much work as I should be doing.
I have been complaining much more than I should.
I can't believe that people put up with me (which in itself seems kind of like a complaint, which frustrates me, and so forth).
I am not working as well with languages as I would like to be. I avoid certain words because I don't know how to spell them. It's getting to be stupid (for instance, in this post alone: is it whiny or whiney?).

Not Found

The requested post was not found.

Confession:

Every time I read that "Where's so and so" thread it makes me want to leave for a really long time, just so people will say "where the hell is Jani?!". How pathetic and narcissistic is that?

There was some rap music playing in my hall, and I was looking at Ela's avatar, and the beat was pretty close to the frame changes. It made me think of the bunny rapping or something, and made me laugh for longer than I think it should have.

(And I hope Jani saw that coming, because she certainly should have. Sorry if it doesn't mean as much if you haven't actually left.)

Back story: After my last confession, someone really cool told me to just post stuff because people enjoyed me being here.

Confession:

I hate it when I post things and no one replies.

I posted a thread (based on the advice from someone cool) with pictures of my cute, cute baby and only one sweet someone even said how cute he was!

screw that. did i confess to being ashamed of that? cause no.


real confessions, now.

-i sing a lot now that henry doesn't live here anymore. i don't sing nearly as much as i ever used to, but i do sing again. this is a very good thing. but not for the reasons anyone would assume.

-i put on my halloween costume ALL THE TIME and sing songs and dance around and pose for pictures that aren't being taken.

I figure things out way later than I should.

I had Tyler watch "The Lion King" for the first time the other day, and I just figured out while watching it this time that the voice of the adult Nala is the chick from "The Cutting Edge." Yep, it took me 'til I was 24 to figure that out!

Edit: Young Val!! I love your quote! I haven't listened to that song since High school! Yay for Jonathan Larson!

Wow, if it makes you feel any better Steph, I hadn't ever figured that out. Did he like the movie?

It took someone pointing it out to me that the Lion King is just Disney's Hamlet.

Well, I had made that connection... but does that make Timon and Pumba Rozencrantz and Gildenstern?

totally.

It even makes "Lion King 1 1/2" a version of "Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead" (which is a truly awesome movie/play)

I kinda like the idea of being an academic hoochie mama.

Not enough to actually be an academic hoochie mama, you understand. I just like the idea.

I have no idea what all being an acedemic hoochie mama would entail.

Me neither, exactly.

But I'd know it if I were it.

I love the song "Geek in the Pink" by Jason Mraz.

I love the song "Geek in the Pink" by Jason Mraz.

Shouldn't that go here?

I'm not celebrating Halloween this year because it is also my birthday and my dad will not be home.

I love the song "Geek in the Pink" by Jason Mraz.

Shouldn't that go here?

It's more of an overarching statement about my life, I think, that I like Geek in the Pink.

So there.

Confession: I am that creepy facebook stalker.

Confession: Mahatma, we already knew that. It's on the news feed.

Don't get me started about that stupid news feed... it takes all of the fun out of Facebook stalking.

I keep checking the Indecent Exposure thread to see if the poll is still unanimous.

I really need to clean my room, and I don't think it's going to happen this week.

I really need to clean my room, and I don't think it's going to happen this week.

ditto that

Confession: My get-up-and-go got up and died.


Also Confession: I think I'm quoting, but I'm not sure. I'm so lazy that I don't care if I know where I'm quoting form.

Also Confession: The fact that I ended that above sentence with a preposition does't bother me near as much as it should. In fact, it doesn't bother me enough to change it.

Grad school scares me.

DAMMIT! My cover's blown...!

Also Confession: The fact that I ended that above sentence with a preposition does't bother me near as much as it should. In fact, it doesn't bother me enough to change it.

As Winston Churchill said, "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I cannot put."

Quick fix:

Also Confession: I think I'm quoting, but I'm not sure. I'm so lazy that I don't care if I know where I'm quoting from, motherfucker.

Confession: After years of using linux primarily/solely for desktop stuff, and almost all of that with fluxbox, I realize one thing I miss: those little boxes you make by dragging the cursor around on the desktop background. I just tried doing that today, and was sad that I couldn't.

Quick fix:

Also Confession: I think I'm quoting, but I'm not sure. I'm so lazy that I don't care if I know where I'm quoting from, motherfucker.

Wouldn't work, that's just a noun of direct address.

I told myself I wasn't going to...but I downloaded the leak.
I couldn't wait!