Girly Stuff

[Rei]

EL is easily confused about my gender at times.

[Gravity Defier]

I'm going to go ahead and not relink to the image on the last page, with my dress on the mannequin...I have it on relatively good word that I don't look cowish*, so here we go:





I have no clue what to do with my hair and honestly, unless it's super simple, I won't be able to do it come January, anyway, as I'm on my own for getting myself to Tucson and my little brother won't be any help. My hair here was just me taking it out of the ponytail. Up-do? Keep it down?

Those shoes okay? Go with my black pair? I also have a black and white pair but I'm pretty sure those wouldn't be a good match, as they're a pattern.

I don't know if I'll bother with jewelry, since the only things I wear normally are my earpins and the necklace that broke a few weeks ago that I haven't found a replacement chain for. My collection outside of those things is teeny tiny, though I could raid my mom's stash if I really wanted.

Aaagh. I should have been born a boy. So much easier.


*I have a feeling the picture of myself that makes me dislike all pictures of myself will be surfacing in the next little bit, so don't think I'm this s*** who just wants compliments and reassurance. Guaranteed I have a good reason to be weird about pictures...and me.

[fawkes]

AAAAAAHHHHHH, I love it!!!! You look great!! I love your hair just the way it is. Also, those shoes look really good with that dress. You're so pretty! You made a great choice with color, it complements you so well.

[spanish_rockette]

Most girls wish they were boys, I know I do someyimes, like this morning. Hair, clothes, all that "fun" stuff!

AND YOU LOOK GREAT! I LOVE THE DRESS!

[Eaquae Legit]

My dear, you look fabulous.

If you can manage large ringlets, and then just pin them up/back a little bit, I think it would work well. Just don't ask me HOW to do that, because I have no idea.

[Rei]

Oh that's lovely!

And EL stole my suggestion for your hair (that or we both arrived at independently). As for shoes, I suspect the white ones because they fit with the embellishment at the waist.


And I'll be honest, I rather dislike the expectation that I not do anything with my appearances. I would far, far, far rather be able to dress up and enjoy being dressed all fancy.

[Petra456]

Absolutely beautiful <3

I like your hair down, kinda like it is! Maybe if you could find some sort of silver hair clip, just to clip back a bit, that would be pretty also : )

[Young Val]

You look GREAT!

My accessory advice (unsolicited?): Hair down and pinned back from your face. No necklace. Subtle earrings/earpins if you've got them--nothing too flashy or big. Keep the shoes.

[jotabe]

I guess it's not a surprise if i say i think i'm in love
Btw, i believe it's a sin for a girl with pretty long hair not to let it go down.

Seriously, if that boy you like doesn't roll and drool at your snapping fingers, he probably isn't into girls at all or something.

[Syphon the Sun]

And I'll be honest, I rather dislike the expectation that I not do anything with my appearances. I would far, far, far rather be able to dress up and enjoy being dressed all fancy.

To score a ten would be just fine
But I’d rather be dressed to the nines
It’s a truth you can’t refute
Nothing suits me like a suit

[steph]

Love it. I agree with everyone else: Leave your hair down, with just a bit pulled back away from your face. Can you get a hold of some hot rollers? That is what you need to get the ringlet curls. I'd probably use the biggest ones on your hair. I wish I could come do it!

[Gravity Defier]

(unsolicited?):

Not at all! Definitely "solicited, honored to get it" advice.


I have sparkly hair clips that would go well with the piece on the dress that I had forgotten about until Fred and Kelly mentioned pulling my hair back a little. I'll dig those out, most likely. I also just remembered I have these little diamond earrings I never wear that might look nice and are very subtle- the only type of jewelry I own/wear.

Can you get a hold of some hot rollers? That is what you need to get the ringlet curls. I'd probably use the biggest ones on your hair. I wish I could come do it!

My mom might have some from the 80s but then again, she might not. I'll ask first chance I get but believe me when I say, I wish you could come, too, not just for help but to see Wicked with me.



As for the nice things and all the advice, thanks, guys.

Jota, although that made me laugh, the boy isn't gay...he's just smart enough not to get involved with me, which really speaks in his favor.




This may not be the right thread for this next part -or maybe it's a good fit, hard to say- but I worry how it looks, me posting things, people responding with such kindness, and me basically telling them "Yeah, don't believe you, you're my friend so you have to say that, but thanks." Not that what I'm about to share is any sort of excuse (no, it is an excuse actually...it's not a reason, let alone a good one) but I don't want to seem like one of those girls I hate -who maybe have the same excuse I have without my knowing it- who want to hear they look nice because they know they do. I know no such thing about myself, whether or not I should.


Most of the time, my mental image of myself is me from 2001 or at best, a thinner -but not thin- version of me from 2001. I can't believe I'm posting that picture, by the way. The number of people who've seen me like that, besides the people who know me off the board and knew me during that time period, is small enough to count on one hand.Now, my friends and I were playing decade dress up (I was, but what else, the 80s) so the makeup, the side ponytail, and those particular clothes weren't normal but that doesn't change much. I looked like a troll and nothing, not a thing in this world, can convince me otherwise.

I was the heaviest I've ever been, my face was more broken out then than it was even in high school, I'm pretty sure I still had braces at that point but if not, they were just recently off. That was the tail-end of my short lived need for glasses, taken off for that picture session. It was awful and I always felt a little ugly after puberty hit but that period of time in my life made me feel downright hideous and I've never, not ever, really gotten over that.

When I look in the mirror to this day, I see that and if someone happens to catch me looking at myself in reflective surfaces these days, it's not because I think I'm pretty and love the way I look but because I'm critiquing what I see. "Another pimple there, god I hate my skin...look at that nose...awful profile...etc" It's, oddly enough, why I take so many pictures. Because every so often, I get a good one and I wonder why I can't look that way all the time instead of having to rely on luck, good lighting, and advantageous angling to get a picture where I think I look anything resembling pretty. All the rest of the pictures just feed into my mental image, which I shouldn't like but do feel a certain vindication from seeing.

So, yeah, please don't think I'm being disingenuous because I'm not, even though I would think that about someone who acted the way I do. I kind of care a bit too much how others see me but you guys especially.

[Eaquae Legit]

I used to think my nose was ugly. It's too round at the end, I hate that. It's "unfeminine".

But then I re-watched Dirty Dancing (about 10,000 times, at work), and I realised Patrick Swayze had my nose! This does nothing at ALL to help my impression of it as unfeminine, but hey, at least someone cool shared it.

This coulda gone under "confessions", but I decided to stick it here.

[starlooker]

I stupidly, without googling, tried to bikini wax yesterday for the first time.

Not only was the pain mind-numbing, but now I have bruises all along the area where my inner thigh joins my crotch. I spent most of last night lying in bed with a cool washcloth on the area.

Note to self: Google first. And maybe have a professional do it first. If I ever, ever do it again. Just the thought has me cringing miserably.

ETA: Alea, thanks for posting the pic in the dress! I love it! I love, love, love, love it!

[Young Val]

Ouch, Kirsten!

I've never dared to do it myself; I always go get it professionally done.

Hope your bruises heal soon!

[Eaquae Legit]

Eeeee. I'm not sure I have the courage to even have it done professionally. Yikes. Shaving is bad enough.

[VelvetElvis]

I get it do professionally. I swear it doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.

[starlooker]

Well, I've always been squeamish about tweezing, waxing, anything but shaving, really. I always thought it was barbaric. But I got my eyebrows waxed (professionally) for my wedding and it was like, "well, hey, this isn't so bad." And then I tried it myself and it didn't look as good as the professionals and hurt a little bit more, but it wasn't bad at all, so I figured, well, why not the bikini line?

OOPS.

BIG MISTAKE.

If I ever do it again, I'm leaving that to the pros. Facial hair I can manage. Shaving I can manage. Bikini waxing = someone else's job.

[Eaquae Legit]

LOL, you're not helping my general fear of the process! Do get a professional one done and let me know if you can tell a difference?

[Luet]

I had it done a couple times years ago by a good friend who was an esthetician, so that helped with the awkwardness. I think part of the pain factor is how coarse your hair is. I have very dark, coarse hair and it hurt a lot and tons of my follicles were oozing blood. While my blond friend with much less hair, did not have much pain at all. So, take from that what you will.

[starlooker]

LOL, you're not helping my general fear of the process! Do get a professional one done and let me know if you can tell a difference?

Maybe, someday, when the thought feels a little less traumatizing.

On a different, although in some ways similar, topic, I'm thinking about getting a haircut that would be rather drastically different from the current one. But I'm chicken. I'm interested in hearing from women who are chicken about changing their hair -- particularly if it's long -- who've made big changes? What process did you go through to decide to do it, were you happy with the results, and would you do it again?

[GS]

Jota, although that made me laugh, the boy isn't gay...he's just smart enough not to get involved with me, which really speaks in his favor.

I don't know. Are you really sure he's not gay???

[Petrie]

Well, he does have a crush on a guy named Chase, who he has described as being ruggedly handsome, though really he's just pretty (I can't decide if his being pretty is more or less indicative of anything).

He may or may not have been to a Coming Out Day celebration within the past month...



What a waste.

[Petra456]

On a different, although in some ways similar, topic, I'm thinking about getting a haircut that would be rather drastically different from the current one. But I'm chicken. I'm interested in hearing from women who are chicken about changing their hair -- particularly if it's long -- who've made big changes? What process did you go through to decide to do it, were you happy with the results, and would you do it again?

Growing up I always had long hair, I would never let anyone do anything more then just trim it or put in some long layers. Then one day I got the urge to cut it and had the lady chop it off until it was above my shoulders, and I had her give me some bangs.

I think the only reason I did it was because it was such a spur of the moment thing, i've always thought about cutting it before that, but i've always talked myself out of actually going and doing it. I was really happy with the results, and it was so strange to have short hair. Every now and then I miss my long hair, and I always fall behind on hair cuts and decide to let it grow back out, but in the end I always end up going in and getting it cut short again before it gets too long.

[Eaquae Legit]

Twice I've grown my hair out super-long, and then got tired of it and hacked it off. I usually end up with a sort of bob-cut that is initially quite traumatising, but then I spend a year or two enjoying the different sorts of things I can do with it (finger-waves being the current skill I'm trying to learn). The change is quite dramatic, and you'll spend a month or so recalibrating your shampoo-measuring. DO spend the money to get it done well, not at some $10.99 joint. And spend time talking to the stylist before you cut to get his/her opinion and thoughts - they know hair, and can tell you if a style is right for you or not, generally. And finally, braid it up before you chop, and send it somewhere to make a wig for a cancer patient. It's totally worth it.

[Petrie]

I've used all my Burt's Bees lip balm, making it necessary to go digging through my teeny, little, girl stuff drawer to see what I had in stock. I discovered a tube of Blistex something or other and I have to say, this stuff is tasty.

I'm not eating it but every so often I get a small sample from what's on my lips. That's kind of fun.

Still prefer Burt's Bees; that stuff makes my lips tingle upon application and the only other things to make my lips tingle like that are pineapple and boys.

[Mich]

I've used all my Burt's Bees lip balm, making it necessary to go digging through my teeny, little, girl stuff drawer to see what I had in stock. I discovered a tube of Blistex something or other and I have to say, this stuff is tasty.

I'm not eating it but every so often I get a small sample from what's on my lips. That's kind of fun.

Still prefer Burt's Bees; that stuff makes my lips tingle upon application and the only other things to make my lips tingle like that are pineapple and boys.

I have noticed how Burt's Bees is so ubiquitous that people on TV now use it (or bland-name products). When did this even happen? I just remember my mom having it once, and suddenly: EVERYWHERE.

[Eaquae Legit]

Burt's Bees has never really been my thing. It's okay, but I feel no pull to them. I'm happy with my minty balm, and I have a sampler from a company called Di Palomo that is orange blossom and olive oil and divine.

[Luet]

The visibility of Burt's Bees probably increased when Clorox purchased the company three years ago.

[Gravity Defier]

Ever since Kirsten started asking about haircuts, I've been sorely tempted to chop mine off. Now, I'm not going to until January 23rd at the earliest but even that depends on whether or not I get gifted a certificate to the hair place to get a strip of my hair colored. If I get it colored, I'll wait however many weeks it takes to fade to chop it all off. If I don't, I'll have my brother take me somewhere there in Tucson to chop it off the day after we see Wicked.

I thought of this because today, my hair decided to go for what I call the homeless, crazy Chicago chic look. That is, it looked similar to how it looked the last time I was in the city; huge, like a mane, no matter how much I conditioned it or threw products at it.

[Eaquae Legit]

Still kind of want to dye it red...

[Luet]

I really, really hate how sick I feel from my period every month (or actually, every 25 days). I have 2ish days of severe pain caused by endometriosis and the only way I can even move is to take codeine. Except that I'm mildly allergic to codeine, so that makes me feel itchy and nauseated. So, then I'm still in pain (but not severe), nauseated and itchy. It's a miserable couple days every 3.5 weeks.

And yes, I've tried tons of different bcp's to try to help but they don't. And OTC painkillers don't touch the pain. This is the best I can do. I'm just very fortunate that I can stay home with a heating pad.

[steph]

Grrrr!!!

1. Making a 9 month old baby be patient enough for milk let down is frustrating beyond belief. I know that if she'd just nurse for a another minute, the milk would come flowing. She thinks it should be there instantaneously, so she lets go after 15 seconds because she's mad. Then I have to fight her to latch on again, but since I'm struggling with her and not relaxing, let down isn't happening, but if she'll just hang on long enough, it will happen, but she's struggling, so I'm stressed... It's a vicious cycle. She went to bed with no milk. I'm going to wake her up in an hour or so to try again. She has not had enough milk today, what with all the sleeping and stubbornness.

2. I've been on and off crampy for 2 months. I had light spotting about a month ago, but then back to crampy here and there. I don't want my period to start again, but I hate this hide-and-go-seek game that my body is playing. Either come or don't come! Make up your frickin mind!

[starlooker]

Period Day 1 = My Birthday.

At least it skipped my wedding.

Not that it mattered, much, as on the actual wedding night, the most sexy & romantic thing that happened was my husband halfway awakening me at 2:00 AM to feed me Deek's Pizza (a local dive). Literally feed it to me, actually, or at least hold it because there were no plates and I was sleepy and confused and uncoordinated.

We were kinda exhausted.

Although, I must say, the way the corset dress worked -- yeah. I think it was designed so that you would have everlasting gratitude and good feelings towards the person who got you out of it and returned your ability to breathe.

That was kind of random. I'm just thinking about the wedding again because my Mom agreed to split the cost of the digital negatives with me, and I'm way excited.

[Wil]

Question for the women. First, background:

My sister keeps honey in the shower. She does this because, as she says, it's a home remedy to treat and prevent yeast infections. Because women have a "delicate PH balance", anything can throw it off, like a period, and so she uses the honey "twice a month" (I think she uses it more judging by the amount of honey she goes through). I've looked these things up, and they're mostly true, and that honey can help clear up a yeast infection, except that from my research most women will only have one or two yeast infections in their lives, while a smaller majority will have only up to four a year.

She won't listen to me when I say that it isn't normal to continually use honey in this way, that most women don't do this at all regularly, and that it's, in a word, strange.

This is all fine and dandy, but she can't use regular honey. It has to the expensive organic, all natural, honey. Plus, she can only use it until "the honey goes bad and crystallizes", and assures me that microwaving the honey, or placing it in hot water, and shaking it up will not solve it having 'gone bad'. Also, she takes the kitchen honey and uses it in the bathroom when her honey goes bad, so I often find the good kitchen honey sitting in the shower.

So... am I wrong in any of this? Is this a normal thing and I've just never heard of it before?