Confessions of a 20-something mother

[Eddie Pinz]

Confession: I should have at least have 100 or 150 more posts on this newest version of the board. But I find myself starting to post in a debate/political/religious thread, get halfway through my post, read it over, and think "what's the point" and go do something else.

[Gravity Defier]

Confession: I feel a little...weird being one of the only single females on this board because there are certain things I just can't relate to.

(Like this nesting business...When I think of setting up shop with a guy, I think of him encroaching on my space, touching/using my things. And when I think of having a child, I think of epidurals & tearing/ripping, lack of sleep, constant worry, vomit and s***** diapers, and the idea of f****** up an innocent child for life. With that, any desire I have to live with a man or have a child goes out the window until the next whatever comes along for a few seconds to make me want either. Maybe a good guy and a healthy relationship some day will change that. Or entering my 30s.)

[zeroguy]

I think of him encroaching on my space, touching/using my things.

For some reason, this produced an image of a guy running into your house, going around deliberately touching all of your things, and laughing evilly. Hehe.

Then I imagined it being the HA! HA! guy.... which then (confession:) made me make this.

[Luet]

And when I think of having a child...and the idea of f****** up an innocent child for life.

Since about the age of 12, this became my main reason to never have children. I think if your childhood was screwed up *enough*, then it unplugs your biological clock or something.

[neo-dragon]

and the idea of f****** up an innocent child for life.

I never really worried about that until I became a teacher and starting seeing the results of lousy parenting on a daily basis. Now I've resolved to learn from other people's mistakes when (or if) I have children.

[Gravity Defier]

Now I've resolved to learn from other people's mistakes when (or if) I have children.

This can backfire. I know you know that, but that's just one more reason I'm thinking of not having kids. It can be argued all day long that "I will or won't do this or that" but at the end of the day, parents are only human and s*** happens that you can't always control. Even if you do everything 'right,' kids have a way of making a mess of things.*


I've thought a lot about having kids and sometimes I think that having them would be selfish on my part because it's likely not in their best interest. I do want them but am I really going to be any better to/for them than my parents were to/for me?


*(I certainly sound like I think I know all about parenting...but my mom and dad said I get honorary parent status in my family, so nyah )

[steph]

I feel like a terrible mother every day of my life. Sometimes I wonder why I was allowed to have kids. I cry about this topic frequently. But then my sweet husband reminds me that our kids are happy and they love me. I'll never understand why, because I think they deserve a much better mother than me.

Alea, I don't think it would be selfish of you to have kids because I think that you'd be a wonderful mother.

[neo-dragon]

Strange coincidence: right after I made my previous post in this thread I went to the kitchen to grab something to eat. I made some random comment about wanting to use one of the new fresh hot dog buns instead of using the last of the old ones, which my mom overheard, and jokingly remarked on how spoiled my brother and I have always been. I replied that I'm well aware of how fortunate we are to have had the upbringing that we did, but I wouldn't cal us "spoiled".

She then went on to tell me for the umpteenth time about some of the worst parts of her own childhood, which I won't discuss here. She concluded by saying that she resolved not to raise her children as she had been raised... And she didn't.

My parents aren't perfect, but it occurs to me sometimes that I rarely give them the credit that they deserve for how well my brother and I have turned out.

P.S.
I also think that you'd be a good mom, Alea.

[Gravity Defier]

Steph, of course your boys love you and are happy. Even from here I know you're a great mom; your greatness oozes out of your family pictures. I don't know, I guess I think part of what makes you such a great mom is that you care enough to think (wrongly ) that you're not doing well even though you are. Smart man you married, so listen to him.

You mothers have a tough gig and are all too often highly underrated.



(And thank you, Steph and Jason)

[Valentine]

Confession:
Every time Locke makes a post that mentions a film, I feel compelled to respond - especially if it's a movie I LOVE like Amelie, or one I'm excited about, like Gran Torino. This makes me self-conscious, because I feel like in doing this, I respond to nearly everything he posts So occasionally, like in the lawn thread, I feel like I am censoring myself to try NOT to post back. LOL

[Eaquae Legit]

Don't worry about your stuff, Alea. Robert Goulet has passed on. Or you could just keep packets of Emerald Nuts on hand.

[Gravity Defier]

Between you and zero, I think I'm officially nervous that some weirdo is going to come creeping into my place uninvited.

You guys are a hoot.

[locke]

Between you and zero

You guys are a hoot.

these two lines were stacked and I read them as a unit before scanning the rest of the first sentance.

And I was a bit puzzled cause I read that as, "You guys are a hot."

[Gravity Defier]

Hmm. Yes, that would be puzzling.

'You guys are a hot' what exactly?

*ponders*

[zeroguy]

Clearly you were just trying to say that we're both hot. The 'a' and the extra 'o' were just typos.

[Gravity Defier]

Confession: zero is right. I do think they're both hot; Ali for her mind and zero for his body of text.

Just waiting for one or the other of you to talk nerdy to me.

[locke]

confession, I woke up at 5:30 saw how dark it was outside and didn't realize it was AM and not PM until 6:00 when the sky mysteriously was getting lighter rather than darker. I am disoriented, and I also called my friend to leave a message explaining why I'd slept in and missed the activities we'd planned for today. :p

[starlooker]

Put me on the "recently wanting kids" list.

Kind of.

Personally, I find it reassuring to think that human babies are meant for human parents, who are by definition not going to be perfect. I really do think there's a certain amount of built-in resilience to the minor, every day sorts of parental imperfections.

Yeah. Family. Hm.

But not for a couple of years yet, anyhow.

I want babies. I just don't want preteens or adolescents. I stop liking kids at about age 9 and don't resume liking them until 15 or so. I like the fact that kittens grow up to be cats -- not so crazy about how that works on the human scale.

Boarding school, maybe?

[powerfulcheese04]

Confession: I can be a TERRIBLE secret keeper when I'm really excited about the thing that is supposed to be kind of secret. I just want someone to be excited with me!

[starlooker]

Confession:

I introduced a friend to xkcd when she was supposed to be working on her dissertation so that I wouldn't be alone in my procrastinating.

[zeroguy]

I used sparknotes at least once in high school. I am not sorry, and doing so allowed me to do more work related to what I knew my professional field would be. I don't think I ever did anything else of dubious academic ethics; interestingly not really due to the ethics themselves of it, but because I never thought it really payed out (i.e. actually learning the material -- at least for the necessary timespan -- is usually easier). I meant no disrepect to those fields or my teachers or anything; I was just busy with what I felt was more important.

[VelvetElvis]

Confession: I've been a member since September of 2004, and I still feel like a newbie sometimes.

[Valentine]

I came to pweb when I was 15, and I'm 23. I still don't feel like an "old" member, really. And I may be one of the longest lasting members around.

[Gravity Defier]

Confession: I want to see Tropic Thunder. And I'm ashamed of that fact.

I saw this today (mostly because I hadn't heard of it). No, no you do not. Maybe you think you do, but you don't.

You were right.

[Syphon the Sun]

Despite absolutely loving everything Christopher Nolan does, Christian Bale's status as one of my favorite actors, and my general liking to comic book adaptations, I haven't seen The Dark Knight. Along a similar note, I just watched Iron Man last night.

In high school, I would go to the theater three or four times a week. In college, that cut way back, but I'd still go see the ones I was really looking forward to and rent a buttload of new releases when others finally came out.

I haven't set foot in a theater since Sweeney Todd and (prior to last night) I hadn't rented anything new since National Treasure 2 in May.

I have a lot of catching up to do, don't I?

[starlooker]

The thought of reading EiE makes me tired. I know I'll read it eventually, though probably not really soon, if for no other reason than I want to be able to talk about it. But I'm literally dreading it, putting it off, postponing it.

Ooh. That's an idea. Buy myself a copy and decide that if I don't work on my dissertation or read for work, I have to read a chapter of EiE.

[Gravity Defier]

(Theme of the day: showers?)

Confession: When I'm in the shower, I put on a CD for two purposes: 1) so I can sort of time the shower, to avoid being in too long and 2) to drown out the mumbling I do when I'm playing make believe and the make believe conversation starts spilling out of my head through my mouth.

Confession: Some nights, I can't fall asleep without playing make believe for at least a few minutes.



Scrubs made me feel tons better about myself, in regards to the above statements, when JD had his pillow girlfriend. I know I'm weird, but at least a variation of what I do isn't so uncommon since it ended up on a tv show.

[Valentine]

Christopher Nolan = <3
You should definitely get on seeing The Dark Knight. It was sincerely impressive. Of course, that is far from the one movie I'd recommend if I had to pick just one since Sweeney Todd. But it's pretty awesome.

Confession: On days when I'm feeling kind of depressed, I can end up taking about 5 showers. I know this is wasteful, and as someone so into recycling and hybrid cars and saving the environment, I'm being a complete hypocrite. But water is the one thing that can calm me down. I like to just sit under the hot water, as hot as it can go, and let it fall on my back. Then I feel just a little better.

[VelvetElvis]

Confession: Sometimes my imagined conversations come out without my consent, too.

Confession: I think it is ok, and that scared me so badly I cried.

[Hector.Victorious]

Confession: I took a 3 hour shower. I know its wasteful, but I was sick and it made my head feel better. Plus the hot water was soothing.

[Luet]

Confession: I have known enough people now who talk to themselves when alone, that I feel kind of weird that I've never done this.

Confession: I eat things symmetrically when possible. For example, I'll take a bite of pizza from the tip and then a bite of one corner of the crust. Then another bite from the tip and then the other corner of the crust. When it's something long like a hot dog or a sub, I eat bites from alternating ends. I even do it for small things like Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies, one bite off each end and then the middle. My brother told me this makes me even weirder than needing the TV volume to be an even number (or multiple of 5).

[Wil]

Wow.

[Gravity Defier]

Don't be like that, Wil. I know this thread is full of a lot of silly confessions that aren't all that big a deal, but it also has some things that are hard to say. Doesn't matter who that 'wow' was directed at, if it was only for one person, but that sort of reaction kind of ruins the feeling of safety that a person is supposed to have in this thread.

[Wil]

Don't be like that, Gravity Defier. If the size wasn't enough, I bolded it for extra sarcasm! Come on! I was being sarcastic! I just found it so... awesomely silly that Luet eats from both sides of almost anything at once... and the TV volume has to be an even number or multiple of 5 that it just DESERVED the wow!

But fine. I am sorry. I revoke my wow.

[Gravity Defier]

Oh, I see how it is, using my screenname. *whack*

I couldn't tell you were being sarcastic; no matter, I'm just feeling protective or something. Don't mind me.