The New Geek Jokes Thread

[neo-dragon]

Dispute it all you want ladies but you're still evil, so live with it... Actually, we're the ones who have to live with it.

[Jebus]

Haha, that women = evil joke kills me every time.

[neo-dragon]

This one's for the biochemists/molecular biologists/lab technicians etc.

PCR

[v-girl]

Haha.

"It's amazing what heating and cooling and heating can do"

Hilarious.

[eriador]

OMG that's genius. "PCR when you need to find out who the dad is. PCR when you need to solve a crime."

[zeroguy]

What is wrong with you biologists?

[neo-dragon]

lol. I knew about the Sonic Hedgehog gene, but not the pokemon one.

[Dr. Mobius]

Mankiw's Ten Principles of Economics translated

Chicken chicken chicken

[BonitoDeMadrid]

And again, thanks to Wikipedia for this delightful (and awesomely true) piece of work.

[wizzard]

A woman in liquor production
Owns a still of exquisite construction.
The alcohol boils
Through magnetic coils.
She says that it's "proof by induction."

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane

A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

If a pendulum's swinging quite free
Then it's always a marvel to me
That each tick plus each tock
Of the grandfather clock
Is 2 pi root L over g.

[zeroguy]

I'm digging the "proof by induction" one.

Little Timmy drank some water
but Little Timmy won't drink no more,
because what Little Timmy thought was water
was really H2SO4.

[fawkes]

I guess this is as good a place as any to post this.

Karaoke for the Deaf, ultimate version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0hAUN4bYVk

If you haven't seen it, the original is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmcTuqZC ... re=related

This always makes me laugh so hard.

[zeroguy]

Ah, reminds me: I think I've posted the Klein Four Group's Finite Simple Group before, but apparently not in this thread. I still don't get at least half of the jokes, but it's still fun.

Edit: Reviewing the rest of this thread has me reading bash.org again. This one always gets me.

[Borommakot_15]

*bump*

"An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers."

I enjoyed that joke so much, I had to find this thread.

[Slim]

*bump*

I came up with this joke a while back, and then I realized how few people would understand it... I've only not had to explain the joke once.

The way I see it, there are only a billion types of people in the world...
Those that understand little-endian storage, and those that don't.

[zeroguy]

hah; I have not heard that. Much better than the "10 people/binary" one.

Shouldn't it be around 512 or 33554432, though? (or 131072, or whatever)

[lyons24000]

And again, thanks to Wikipedia for this delightful (and awesomely true) piece of work.

I thought this one was the best.

"If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw."

[Slim]

Yes, I based it off the 10/binary one. You see, that one the joke says "ten" when really it is two. Similar to that, this joke you say "a billion" instead of "five hundred and twelve." Yes, perhaps strange I am only using a 2-byte storage space, but "billion" has a nice ring to it, don't you think?