My Life in a Literary Agency

Talk about anything under the sun or stars - but keep it civil. This is where we really get to know each other. Everyone is welcome, and invited!
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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Tue May 15, 2007 3:48 pm

Today While At Work I Have:

-cried. three times. one in front of coworkers.
-gotten a nosebleed.
-accidentally hung up on no less than six clients while attempting to transfer calls. said clients included Academy Award winning Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine, ect).
-broken a coffee mug.
-fallen down half a flight of stairs.


those are the bad parts. i also made 4 deals: 3 book, 1 film. ate strawberry shortcake with my new (female) bosses. requested 3 MS, and scheduled a dinner/drinks meeting with a client for Thursday.


i'll get the hang of this eventually...
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Oliver Dale » Tue May 15, 2007 9:03 pm

You hung up on Alan Arkin?!

Umm. holy s***.

You are made of awesome.

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Tue May 15, 2007 9:14 pm

I realize that this thread is largely for my own amusement. nevertheless:

Batman's Got Gadgets, Literary Agents' Got...Paper Clips?
Top 10 Must Haves For A Literary Agent

1. Post Its.
2. Pens that actually have ink in them.
3. A Letter Opener. (You will not believe how the quality of my life increased after I buckled and invested in one of these babies).
4. Moisturizing Lotion.
5. Rubber Bands.
6. Paper Clips.
7. Band Aids (for those nasty paper cuts(.
8. Stamps.
9. A Sense of Humor.
10. A Competent Intern.




Speaking of #10, I have an intern now. It hasn't even been a full week yet, and I've got an intern. Her name is Amelia. She starts tomorrow. I have no idea what to do with her.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Rei » Tue May 15, 2007 9:22 pm

Wow... a week in and you already have your first minion... I'm so impressed!
Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.
~Blaise Pascal


私は。。。誰?

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Postby zeroguy » Wed May 16, 2007 12:08 am

So, since a competent intern is a "must have", and you have nothing for your intern to do... can we assume she is incompetent? :D
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dgf hhw

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Wed May 16, 2007 6:15 am

no, we can assume that i am an incompetent intern-haver.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Wed May 16, 2007 1:25 pm

Michele is a Senior Agent at Writers House and one of the two women I assist. She's currently in Chicago on a business trip so I'm handling all her email correspondence in addition to other things. She called this afternoon to see if there was anything of any importance.


Kelly: No, none of the contacts seemed familiar, and none of the subject lines seemed urgent.
Michele: Oh, great. I was hoping nothing big would happen while I was away. Incidentally, you do know that you can actually read my email, right?
Kelly: Oh?
Michele: Yeah, go right ahead. It makes life so much easier. Read anything in there, unless something comes from Bill.
Kelly: Bill. Got it. Is there a last name?
Michele: Clinton.
Kelly: Right. Clinton. Don't read any emails from Bill Clinton. Got it. :::pause::: Wait. What?
Michele::::laughs:::
Kelly: Bill Clinton emails you?!?!
Michele: Only rarely.
Kelly: Right. Sure. Busy guy.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby powerfulcheese04 » Wed May 16, 2007 1:28 pm

You have the coolest job ever, Kelly.
-Kim

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Postby starlooker » Wed May 16, 2007 8:13 pm

*agrees*
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Thu May 17, 2007 1:18 pm

Alan Arkin swears a lot.


i took pictures of my office today. i can't wait to get home to upload them.

Yolanda King died yesterday afternoon, so the phone has been ringing off the hook all day (did I mention we and by we i mean i) represent permissions and contracts for the entire Dr. MLK jr. estate?

i have a client meeting tonight and i haven't yet finished reading the client's MS, so i've got to go get on that. the days feel so short, all of a sudden!
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Oliver Dale
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Postby Oliver Dale » Thu May 17, 2007 9:59 pm

I don't understand how you fit so much cool into such small clothes!

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Fri May 18, 2007 7:38 am

many, many pictures of my office (forgive the poor quality toward the end. my camera sucks):

Image

Image

Image
the Hamster of Personal Aesthetic! i belong to a Writers' Workshop here known as The Kitchen Girls (long story) and our mascot is The Hamster of Personal Aethetic. Whose job it is, among other things, to keep us motivated and always on the hunt to produce and search out quality work (and to remind us that some things can still be brilliant, even if they don't fall into our personal aesthetic--an important part of being a literary agent). so naturally he came to work with me.

Image
do you see my Beauty and the Beast style rolling ladder?!?!

Image
DO YOU SEE IT?!

Image
DO YOU?!

Image
this is where i'm sitting right now.

Image

Image
note the coffee and the red bull.

Image
right behind me is The Vault. yes. a real one. did i mention that our building was formerly part of an underground railroad for communists? cause it was. also? those cardboard boxes on the floor? that's my slush pile. ...part of it.

Image
the vault is pretty. but the door(s) are SO HEAVY.

Image

Image
shelf of MLK stuff.

Image
pretty bookcase.

Image
many, many books to sell reprint rights to.

Image
my filing cabinets

Image
view from the ladder!

Image

view from the ladder part deux!

Image

Image
even our BATHROOM has a rolling ladder. and MSs. i live in piles of paper.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Mimx » Fri May 18, 2007 8:03 am

That looks like a nice, cozy office.

<drool> at the Recorded Books box in pic #2

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Fri May 18, 2007 10:50 am

it is pretty cozy, but REALLY DARK in the winter.

and the furniture sure looks nice, but it's super old and most of it's broken. the wheels on my chair are all stuck.


but s'ok cause i have a rolling ladder.


:stoned:
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Rei
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Postby Rei » Fri May 18, 2007 6:22 pm

I am currently emanating jealousy. In great waves.
Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.
~Blaise Pascal


私は。。。誰?

Dernhelm

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Postby starlooker » Fri May 18, 2007 7:16 pm

*covets the rolling ladder*
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Postby Jayelle » Fri May 18, 2007 10:27 pm

You have the coolest office. Wow.
One Duck to rule them all.
--------------------------------
It needs to be about 20% cooler.

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Postby Eaquae Legit » Fri May 18, 2007 11:26 pm

I definitely have ladder envy.
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Postby Dr. Mobius » Fri May 18, 2007 11:45 pm

Silly short people always needing ladders. :P
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Postby zeroguy » Sat May 19, 2007 1:02 am

note the coffee and the red bull.
No love for the Polish Spring? That was my favorite drink in all of those shots...

Edit: Oh, and that vault? Can you still use it to hide Communists?
Proud member of the Canadian Alliance.

dgf hhw

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Sat May 19, 2007 9:03 am

Silly short people always needing ladders. :P
i'm 5'10. i need no ladder.

but it ROLLS over a BOOKCASE. like in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.


it is the best thing ever.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Yebra » Sat May 19, 2007 1:28 pm

That. Is. The. COOLEST. Thing. Ever.

I am experiencing serious awe.

Serious, serious awe.
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Postby VelvetElvis » Sat May 19, 2007 7:47 pm


but it ROLLS over a BOOKCASE. like in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
That's all that needs to be said. I would consider living that far north if i could have a ladder like that in all the rooms of my house. And maybe one on my front porch.
Yay, I'm a llama again!

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Postby Qing_Jao » Sat May 19, 2007 9:02 pm

ok, stupid question, miss literary agent....
Does format matter? Do you still require double spaced pages with one inch margins, numbers in the middle then right hand corner, footnotes of author-Title, etc, etc?
SARA
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no evil shall escape my sight!

Let those who worship evil's might,
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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Sat May 19, 2007 9:09 pm

ok, stupid question, miss literary agent....
Does format matter? Do you still require double spaced pages with one inch margins, numbers in the middle then right hand corner, footnotes of author-Title, etc, etc?
SARA



not a stupid question at ALL.

one-inch margins, definitely. numbered pages, DEFINITELY (although placement isn't a big deal). and author/title on each page is also very much appreciated.

DO keep your pages together with a rubber band or a binder clip. DON'T staple your pages.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Dr. Mobius » Sun May 20, 2007 1:40 am

The only stupid question is the one left unasked. I, personally, have a great many stupid questions on a wide range of topics.
The enemy's fly is down.
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Postby ratesjul » Sun May 20, 2007 1:57 am

You have such a beautiful office... Your view far and away beats mine, too!


(I work in a corner of a square - I at least have a full wall on one side of my desk, which I have lots of photos on. Some folk only have cubicle partitions. My view is a grey courtyard with a grey back wall.)
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Postby Dr. Mobius » Sun May 20, 2007 12:24 pm

My view, on the rare occasions I'm actually in an office, is either of batching or the freezer dock, depending on which office I'm in.
The enemy's fly is down.
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Postby Craig » Sun May 20, 2007 1:28 pm

I love this thread. I'm happy for you, to finally have a job you really care about. It's also nice to have some insider info... :)

Salaam

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Postby Boothby » Sun May 20, 2007 10:32 pm

Leather chair, rolling ladder, intern, and a VAULT!

Amazing!

Congratulations on quite the cool job!

(I really love that vault!)

--Steve

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Mon May 21, 2007 1:41 pm

i don't think i ever officially said thanks for all the congratulations you guys have been throwing my way since i landed this job. i truly appreciate all the well wishes. thanks so much.

if you're ever in new york, after you look me up, i'll be happy to give you a tour of the building (which is actually really cool and full of odd tidbits of history).



in other work-related news: i popped the first Advil of my career today. the first of many more headaches to come, i'm sure. i also lined up FOUR lunch meetings for over the course of the next two weeks.

and

i'm going to BEA!!!
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Mahatma » Tue May 22, 2007 4:25 am

umm... *raises hand* question. So, what do interns/minions... actually... do?

See, I'm going to be in London for 6 weeks, and since I needed an excuse to be there using student loans, I took an internship... They assigned me to a publishing company (Arcadia Books, if you're curious). I'm a professional linguistics student and, while I love reading, I don't have much interest in publishing and my only knowledge of it comes from this thread.

Plus I have to dress 'business-casual' and I'm really really hoping broomstick skirts fall under this category.

So... any advice/warnings/help of any kind? I'm rather nervous. :oops:
"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

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Postby Luet » Tue May 22, 2007 8:43 am

I probably should know this, but what is BEA?
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa

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Postby Young Val » Tue May 22, 2007 9:15 am

Mahatma: believe it or not, working for a literary agency and working for a publisher are two completely different things. but most intern work is the same everywhere, with nuances. i've worked in literary agencies and literary scouting agencies, but never for a publisher. i do have several close friends who work for publishers, though (Tor, Soho, Scholastic) so i'll pass on what i've gleaned from them and hope that it's useful.

as prep work you should make yourself familiar with their client list and their big titles. read a few if you can, but if not, at the very least familiarize yourself with names and titles and which go together. it will save you infinite time and frustration later and will score a couple points with your supervisors.

you will do a lot of filing.

it sucks. but it is true. you will file. unfile. refile. any kind of filing imaginable and you will probably do it. you will stuff envelopes and make photo copies. you will do coffee/tea/water/whatever runs. you will alphabetize things. you will do all of the things that absolutely must get done somehow, by someone, but are not able to be done by the people who work there full time. you will be the office bitch.

you may also get to read some MSs and write reader reports. you may do some light correspondence (most likely email) and some receptionist-type phone work. you might get to attend some publishing functions or sales meetings. it depends on the department: editorial, PR, sales. i wish i could give you more, but that's pretty much all i got.



Nomi: BEA=Book Expo America


www.bookexpoamerica.com


i am pretty terrified. and excited.


but mostly terrified.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Young Val
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Postby Young Val » Tue May 22, 2007 2:21 pm

i've just had my 4:00 coffee break and so hopefully the caffeine will kick in any moment now.

while i wait, i thought i'd give you a nice little example of things that make me want to bang my head against a wall. maybe not repeatedly, but definitely at least once.

on our website, our submissions policy is outlined as follows:
Please send us a query letter of no more than two pages, which includes your credentials, an explanation of what makes your book unique and special, and a synopsis. Also, please include a self-addressed-stamped-envelope for our reply, which generally takes six to eight weeks.

We receive hundreds of submissions a month, all of which receive careful consideration. This takes time, so we encourage your patience. If we request your manuscript, we prefer that you send it to us on an exclusive basis.

Please do not query two agents within our agency simultaneously.

I have in front of me on my desk a query letter from a Mr. J. H. The FIRST SENTENCE of his query letter is:

"I have carefully read your company's submission requirements."

and already, ALREADY i know this is going to be headache-inducing. for starters, his letter is not two, but SIX pages, single-spaced.

secondly, he queried at LEAST two separate agents within the agency.

thirdly, he has not actually written the book, so there is no synopsis, instead, he tries to give us a sales pitch. except we are not a publishing house. we don't buy work. we sell it. and we do our own sales pitches. thanks.

and there are, of course, so many more, but on top of all that, he, OF COURSE, did not include a SASE.


here is the reason why Mr. J. H. annoys me ten times more than the average Joe Schmo with the poor submission package: BECAUSE THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS THAT HE HAS CAREFULLY READ OUR REQUIREMENTS. either he is LYING or he just DOESN'T CARE.


$10 says this guy calls one week from now and wants to know why we haven't responded to his query yet.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant


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