Confessions of a 20-something mother

[daPyr0x]

Confession: I so badly want them to give me a reason to blow. I'm so anxious for him to try and call my home phone at 7am or something so I can just go right off the handle, quit on the spot, and leave it at that.

Confession: I started seriously looking for a new job tonight.

Confession: Part of my motivation for finding a new job is the hope that I might be able to meet people through it.

Confession: If I'm in the midst of changing jobs, I really shouldn't have just (last night) bought rims for my car.

Confession: I would take a job making s*** money if it meant I got to work at/in a recording studio.

Confession: Part of me hopes that one day I can look back at the events of the last year of my life and say "that was the turning point into becoming what I am today"

Confession: I want the "what I am today" to be an accomplished singer.

Confession: I know it won't be.

Confession: With how many times I have, or have had "turned my life around", I often sit looking at the sky wondering which way is up.

Confession: I find it increasingly difficult to sleep at night.

Confession: I'm disappointed every night that goes by that she doesn't call. Not because I expect her to, but because I know why she started talking to me again, and I know that I scared her away.

Confession: I've whittled away my personal relationships far too much.

Confession: I type text messages to myself while in the bathroom at work because I have noone to talk to.

Confession: I have a recurring dream about performing live, doing a cover, and dedicating it to someone.

Confession: I'm writing too many of these

Confession: I feel lonely in life. Like I have no companion, and noone to share things with. Even my cats have a more normal sleep schedule than I.

Confession: I could so easily sleep through an entire day. Provided I could actually get to sleep in the first place.

Confession: I'm far too sober, in more than one way.

Confession: A womans smile is the most beautiful thing on this planet, and a woman who doesn't smile is not attractive to me at all.

Confession: I fully believe modern media has f****** me up, though not in the same ways as is recognized as typical.

Confession: I need to stop writing.

[starlooker]

I did the right thing. But I didn't really want to and I kind of regret it.

[Eaquae Legit]

Sometimes, after I've written an especially good sentence, I get this warm fuzzy proud feeling.

[starlooker]

I found it slightly gratifying when, on the unit with a patient trying to find a room that wasn't in use, she referred to my supervisor as, "the other one." I don't know why, exactly.

[Confessions]

I started again. A couple weeks ago, actually. And I thought that was it. But it's not. I can't seem to stop. And I'm not really sure I want to.

No, I want to.

I think.

[Confessions]

I don't know if it's paranoid or justified but lately I don't feel free to write most of the things I want to post out of fear that she might come here at any point and read it.

[zeroguy]

I kinda really want to go on the second one.

[Confessions]

Part of me is going to be really, really disappointed if it's negative.

[starlooker]

He feels a lot more for me than I do for him. Which is making me want to run far, far away. Very fast.

[Young Val]

i just dropped $125 on all five seasons of Angel.


on impulse.


i can't believe i just spent that much money. i haven't even gotten my first pay check yet!

[Rei]

This amuses me deeply:

[Dr. Mobius]

[Jayelle]

[VelvetElvis]

Top Three Reasons That I Attend Church:

1. Worship
2. Fellowship
3. An excuse to wear dresses and heels once a week

[hive_king]

Confessions:

I attend church for the same reasons. especially the third one.

[VelvetElvis]

i knew my dresses had been getting stretched out....

[anonshadow]

I'm scared I'm going to lose her to someone else.

[starlooker]

I priced the necklace. If he got it on sale, I can live with it. I'm going to assume he did.

Yeesh.

[Luet]

I'm watching the classic Little House episode of the blind school fire that kills Mrs. Garvey and Mary's baby...and I'm crying.

[Philotically_Entwined]

though though i tell myself that i dont, and no one knows that i ever did, i really still am in love with him.

and after what happened, i cant not like her any more...
no matter how much i want to.

[Young Val]

confession: i spend far too much time thinking up ways to make a postcard that will

1. actually get on postsecret
2. be anonymous for everyone except the person it's meant for.
3. get me the desired result.

since this it's not worth it unless i get all three, and since getting all three is pretty much impossible, i never actually make any.


but i think about it a lot.

[Young Val]

Confession: i, like everyone else on the PLANET am obsessed with the "idk--my bff, Jill?" commercial for Cingular.

i die laughing every. single. time.


and i HATE people who text like that.

[zeroguy]

Confession: Sorry, I hate that commercial. It is one of the many commercials that remind me how much tv sucks, after forgetting that by not watching it for a while.

[Young Val]

i think the mom's delivery of the final line is priceless. that's when i laugh. i, for one, use better grammar when i text than i do when i type informally.

[Rei]

Someone has added me to facebook. And I am not on it. And even though I only vaguely know said person, somehow this led to a brief wavering on my firm resolution to abstain from the evil.

[Jayelle]

It's not an ad, it's an invite because you're on their email list.

[zeroguy]

I'm a little scared. I think I really thought "epic lawls" in my head. And to a thread on a certain *chan.

Don't cry for me.... Internet.

It was really funny, though.

Edit: Unrelated, but this had me thinking of the past few posts.

[Rei]

It's not an ad, it's an invite because you're on their email list.

Close enough.

[Confessions]

Something inside is screaming. It's screaming and pushing and looking desperately for an out. I'm holding it inside the best I can. I can muffle it or ignore it, sometimes, but then when I have to stop clinging and have to let go it screams louder. I'm scared to go out right now because it's really bad and if I do go out I might slip and do something unhealthy or self-destructive to shut it up. Inside my options are limited and there's not much I can do except pace. I'd rather stay inside and go nuts instead of going out and doing something bad.

But it's screaming and I just want silence...

[Mich]

I'm a little scared. I think I really thought "epic lawls" in my head. And to a thread on a certain *chan.

Don't cry for me.... Internet.

It was really funny, though.

I confess that I understand your fear.

[Luet]

Confession: I'm in a confessing mood tonight.

I canceled my last therapy appt a few weeks ago and I haven't rescheduled. I need to. But I've been putting it off because I know that there is only one thing left to talk about and I don't know how to even bring it up. It's not something I can blame on anyone else. It's all me. It's a deficiency in me. And it's humiliating. But I have to do it. I have to find a way to say it and talk about it and figure out what has made me this way and how to fix it. I won't be okay until I do. The only person I have ever talked to about this, isn't my friend anymore. She left me. And that makes it even harder to do it again. but I have to.

[Young Val]

confession: my good friend's laugh REALLY bothers me. it's one of the most grating sounds i've ever heard. and it's obnoxiously loud. and since she's so attention-seeking and generally performative, i have the feeling that the laugh is totally affected anyway. everytime she laughs it makes me want to strangle her. i HATE going to the movies or watching tv with her when the subject will be somewhat comedic. i really love her, but i cannot STAND her laugh. it's sort of a problem.

[Mich]

Confession: I'm about to move (read: become roommates with) the boyfriend of my best friend. At first I thought it would be cool, because, well, that would mean hanging out with her a lot more than we already are, because then there would be two reasons for her to come by. But now I'm realizing that, were my true feelings for her to ever come out while I'm still rooming with her male counterpart, it would become more than awkward. I can't wish for them to break up, because then she wouldn't come around as much, anyway. But, if they stay together, how long can I last?

And she's always talking about how she's not sure how far the relationship will go... so this whole idea might just be about the most enormous mistake evar.

[Mahatma]

I really really need to pack. My flight leaves in 14 hours, and I still need to eat supper, take a shower, brush my teeth, finish packing, and hopefully I won't have to get up early enough to mail things home. But... I'm on my computer, on pweb. Not doing any of those helpful things. I should be packing. But I just really really don't want to.

[zeroguy]

Apparently I cope with the passing of a friend by reading manga a lot.

And checking pweb, of course.