Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Jebus · Postby **Jebus** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:26 am

Dear Bob,

speaking of FF, XII is severely disappointing.

starlooker · Postby **starlooker** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:03 am

As a person who was a mid-life crisis in her early twenties (twice, actually), you have all my sympathy. Good luck.

Postby **Luet** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:23 am

We are moving to a great new place in a week and a half. We bought a new leather couch with recliners built in. And a freaking huge tv. Mark is wicked excited about everything. And it's annoying me. Because I'm not. I know I should be but I'm not. I just don't want to think about any of it. And I'm really irritated with everything and everyone. I just want to sit still and do nothing.

I'm so sick of being cold all the time. Hands like ice cubes, nose freezing cold, and chilled to the bone. It wears on me. It makes me tired of existing. I want to curl up in bed and never get up. I know it's a silly thing but I'm so tired. I can't sleep without taking some medication. I lay awake for hours and hours and then wake up all night long.

And yes, I'm in therapy. I'm on antidepressants. But it's just not working.

wizzard · Postby **wizzard** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 9:50 am

Dear Bob,

I got a call from my friend last night... I'm going to be a groomsman in his wedding. We are way too young for this! We're only 21! We're not even out of college yet!

Still, I'm very excited for him.

powerfulcheese04 · Postby **powerfulcheese04** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:46 pm

So, Bob,

I was sitting in my Tissue Engineering class today. And someone askes the professor, "How long is the paper about our novel product supposed to be?" And he said, flatly, "Long enough to make a convincing case... 50 to 60 pages."

And I responded "*dies*"

Mine is due a week from today.

*dies*

Postby **Luet** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:10 pm

And I thought I couldn't feel any crappier. I had my first mammogram yesterday (30 is pretty young but I have a strong family history) and the dr called me today to say they want to redo the left side because there was some thick tissue in it. Sigh.

Kaira · Postby **Kaira** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:20 pm

Bob, my friend Rick never told me that he was an author and got a book published!!! i had to hear it from Brice!! what is up with that?! i thought everything about me screamed reader... but no.. so i told rick that he has to get me a sighned copy of his book so i can read it. he said ok, im excited. ive talked to people about it, they say its good. its really exciting cuz i can talk to the author about it. that is sooo cool. the book is called Facade of Shadows. its about vampires. i like vampire stories.
*excited*

Petra456 · Postby **Petra456** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:40 pm

Bob,

Maybe this time i've learned my lesson. Maybe this time it'll hurt enough i'll know not to, no matter what, fall for it again.

I'm so f****** stupid sometimes.

daPyr0x · Postby **daPyr0x** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:34 am

Bob, I need....I don't even know what
But here's what I have to say.

This is kinda three posts in one...

1. You know why I still miss Nicole? Because I had someone I could call when I was feeling stressed or down or upset. Very rarely would she actually help. Very rarely would we even talk about why I was feeling what I was feeling; but when I called her, whatever she was feeling at the time took over. Sometimes she'd be excited to hear from me, and I'd echo that. Sometimes she'd be upset or freaking out over her weight stuff; so my focus would go to helping that. It didn't matter that nothing actually changed for me, that nothing was fixed; I just became blissfully ignorant of everything else because my mind would go to her.

I yearn to get in a relationship again so I can have that focus again....yet at the same time I wonder...shouldn't there be better? Shouldn't I have, want, get better?

...do I even deserve better? No, probably not.

2. Have you ever missed something and not really understood why? I miss Florida. I miss the warmth, I miss the places I would go, I miss Fort Lauderdale and Orlando. I know it's because Florida was my "vacation" and I associate it with everything that I had with Nicole..but it's so glamourized in my mind, I can't help but want to go back, even if I know it will hurt.

It needs to GET WARMER here... My SAD is getting past bearable. I know, I've not been diagnosed and I'm sure self diagnosis is usually more harmful than beneficial; but so much of myself feels so crushed every time I walk outside and realize it's f****** COLD out still (not to mention snowing today...). I think that's part of the reason I want back to Florida, because it's always so warm. I need the sun. I need to go out cruising. I need to get on my bike.

I want to go somewhere warm this summer I think, not out east like my mom/grandparents want... What I really want is to go somewhere with someone I have a relationship with, or at the very least find someone elsewhere to start a relationship with - even if just a small fling.

3. I think it's kind of funny... Not long after my last bitching and whining post about not making any friends and all that s***, I hear from two different girls inviting me out. One practically begging me to come out (her exact words were "I would lurve to see you again! it's been way too long! PUH-LEAZE come by!" hahahaha), and the other one inviting me out twice over, once friday night and once monday night, just because she's a friendly girl like that. Maybe there's more that I've not seen in friends and such. I'll admit that I'm a pessimist when it comes to that, so I'm aware that there's always going to be more that I've not seen. I just....I don't feel like the way everybody else seems to look like they feel, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

I got on a bit of a high when getting invited out like that. Moreso with the one who begged. Partly because I know she was interested in me last time I saw her; partly because she did beg like that and that made me feel...well, wanted; and partly because it was a totally out of the blue facebook message from someone I've only met once and haven't really spoken to since (as opposed to just part of a msn convo). But the high just DIDNT last. It's really really frustrating. I KNOW I should be....happier...than I am, but I'm just not. And I don't know how to be. I can put all of the stress of my work behind me; I turn off that when I leave work - just like I turn off my emo-ness and personal life when I'm at work....but I'm just so f****** depressed and I can't figure out why or figure out how to help it.

Just watch....I go out tomorrow night, end up sleeping with the girl or something, and then wake up the morning all depressed still....that'd be a sight.
...and that would be me for you, lol. I'm just like that.

I really really really hope this is just a winter/cold thing. I know I felt so much better when it was 15 degrees and I could cruise around with the windows down... I hope so bad that it will get better when I can do that again. I have so many 'fantasies' of things this summer... out biking down some real trails... going out to wonderland and trying to meet people just for the sake of coming out of my shell (okay, and I'll admit, women there are hot...)... even just the cliche sunset stroll with someone I care about...

I want it all so bad. I want to enjoy it. I want it to be WARM so I can. Please let the warmth be all that I need...

And please let my fears - of not having any friends at all all summer because all these new people from York live way far away outside of school - be unfounded, and somehow I'll still have a social life....

I know I can't be happy. I just don't want to be depressed anymore. Please let me not be so depressive?

Help me Bob?

--Cam

Young Val · Postby **Young Val** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 4:48 pm

dear bob,

AND JUST LIKE THAT HENRY AND I ARE BACK IN TOUCH.

it's been over two months. the last contact we had was his f****** back as he walked out on me. in the middle of a restaurant.

one bullshit technical f***-up later, and we're emailing back and forth like nothing ever happened.

i can smell the trouble. can you?

shadow-petra · Postby **shadow-petra** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:28 pm

Bob, I'm sad

I need a semi date. 'nough said

VelvetElvis · Postby **VelvetElvis** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:30 pm

Even after I shot him in the face? Kid's a cockroach!

Claire · Postby **Claire** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:15 pm

Dear Bob,
I think I'm kind of breaking down.
Love,
Claire

Virlomi · Postby **Virlomi** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:41 pm

Dear Bob,

I saw Wicked tonight!!!

...but I'm not gloating.

Rei · Postby **Rei** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:50 pm

Dear Bob,

Today I met a plant named "Bob". I think you'd like him.

In other news, I ran across an affricate combining /d/ with a voiced palatalized postalveolar (alveolo-palatal) fricative! This fills me with great glee and happiness! [ˈmɛdʑu.ɡɔːrjɛ]

Heeee...

~Rei

Petra456 · Postby **Petra456** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:44 am

Bob,

I'm so sick of the rain. It's been horrible the past two days. I've been up for two hours now because of it, giving me a grand total of four hours of sleep in the past two days.

I've never hated the rain so much in my life as I do right now.

- me

Postby **Dr. Mobius** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:18 pm

I'm going to assume that's not the /d/ that first came to mind.

You sick bastard.

wizzard · Postby **wizzard** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:56 pm

Dear Bob,

Today I met a plant named "Bob". I think you'd like him.

In other news, I ran across an affricate combining /d/ with a voiced palatalized postalveolar (alveolo-palatal) fricative! This fills me with great glee and happiness! [ˈmɛdʑu.ɡɔːrjɛ]

Heeee...

~Rei

What language is that? And how do you use IPA symbols with this font?

Miss Abbie · Postby **Miss Abbie** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:54 pm

Dear Bob,

My best girlfriend, the one that people call my other half (whether i like it or not), was looking really down at dinner tonight and she told me to call her but I haven't yet and now there's an ambulance outside of her dorm.

She cuts herself, Bob.

I might die.

Postby **Eaquae Legit** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:22 pm

Dear Wizz,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medjugorje Medjugorje. It's from Bosnia-Herzegovina. IPA works when you cut and paste.

Dear Abbie,

***hugs***

Young Val · Postby **Young Val** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 10:25 pm

:::hugs abbie::::

Rei · Postby **Rei** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:04 pm

*hugs Abbie tightly and long*

Petra456 · Postby **Petra456** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 12:28 am

Dear Bob,

There must be something about me that just says it's ok to brush me off. Every single person I have ever let get close to me, or gotten close to, has just brushed me off. I feel so used and unimportant. Half the time I wonder if they (yes, more then just one person) even realize how much this actually does to me. These people mean the world to me.

So what do you do when your world just won't let you be happy? What do you say when you're out of words? How do I ask these people not to leave me?

I want them to realize that it's not ok to go three months without talking. I want them to realize that I do get the hints, and I do feel like a third wheel. I want them to realize that life is to short not to take some chances. I want them to not let me push myself away, if they say they need me. I want them to be the first to break for once.

I want them to realize that I love them way more then anyone thinks I should.

Ya know Bob, i'm not asking them to promise me they'll always be there, i'm not asking them to promise me that i'll always be happy, i'm just asking them to promise me they'll try.

And you know what's funny? I can say this to their face, or I can write it on a web forum where most of them will never read it, and it doesn't make one bit of difference.

I'll just be pushed aside again.

zeroguy · Postby **zeroguy** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 1:20 am

I'm going to assume that's not the /d/ that first came to mind.

You sick bastard.

I really hope the number of people that got this is really really small....

Sparrowhawk · Postby **Sparrowhawk** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 1:30 am

I'm going to assume that's not the /d/ that first came to mind.

You sick bastard.
I really hope the number of people that got this is really really small....

Hoorah. The corruption is spreading.

Rei · Postby **Rei** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:46 am

I'm a linguist, and the / / are used to mark phonemes in my world. (Not that I know for sure that that was a phoneme and not an allophone, but close enough.)

Postby **Eaquae Legit** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:50 am

ALLOPHONE OF.

Mahatma · Postby **Mahatma** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:32 am

hehehe...

So, it's like [dʒ], but palatalized? Sweet.

Postby **Luet** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 4:42 pm

Petra456,

what you wrote reverberates in me...i can really relate. the first advice i can give, and that I am still trying to apply, is to work hard at loving yourself and having self-respect. usually when people treat you like crap it's because you are giving off some vibe that silently says you think you deserve it. so if you can fix the root problem...maybe the other problem will go away.

the other things is to find better friends. just because someone has been your friend doesn't mean they are a good one. try to seek out people who are actually willing to put the effort into a friendship like you do. they are out there, you just might not be drawn to them naturally because of the low self-esteem thing.

*hugs*

Rei · Postby **Rei** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:16 pm

hehehe...

So, it's like [dʒ], but palatalized? Sweet.

Yeah, that's what I thought!

Postby **Dr. Mobius** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:38 am

I'm going to assume that's not the /d/ that first came to mind.

You sick bastard.
I really hope the number of people that got this is really really small....
Hoorah. The corruption is spreading.

anonshadow · Postby **anonshadow** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 1:10 am

Dear Bob,

This is why I adore my city.

It's 3am. I got home just a few minutes ago. I was over at my brother's house, which is eight blocks away.

While walking home, I saw no less than 50 people--and that's not including all the cars. Old ladies, teens coming home, younger adults going to clubs, middle-aged couples...

And it's a crappy night, too. A hurricane is apparently blowing through, and it's started to rain pretty heavily.

I love my city. It is so travelled.

VelvetElvis · Postby **VelvetElvis** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 2:28 pm

Bob,

I went to the zoo!

-me

Petra456 · Postby **Petra456** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:48 pm

Bob,

My grandma's in the hospital.

When it rains, it pours.

- me

Postby **Dr. Mobius** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:08 am

Aww

*hugs Fred*

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