Brontosaurus Lays an Egg

[starlooker]

You know what I love? I love my Bella Band. It is awesome and freeing and makes me think that I will keep wearing it whenever I go out to eat and plan to gorge myself when I am someday NOT pregnant.

(For those unfamiliar: It's basically a stretchy band of cloth that you can put over your pants so that you can keep them unzipped and unbuttoned without them falling down or it being otherwise obvious that you are unzipped and unbuttoned.)

Pregnant people are smart, man. Or, people who think of things to sell to pregnant people are smart. Except for the dumbass swimsuit designers.

In other news:

TWELVE WEEKS TODAY!

I am THROUGH with the first trimester. Through. Done. Fin. Hallelujah, how the angels sang, hallelujah how it rang.

Seriously, the second trimester is apparently the pregnancy equivalent of a nice vacation to the Caribbean.

Unfortunately, not all-expenses paid.

I want to buy things. I should not buy things until we sit down and have a Serious Talk about money. But. I want to buy things for me and for the baby, already!

I need to talk to a friend of mine who was recommending a particular consignment shop to me.

I'm waiting for the moderator to approve my membership to Freecycle.

I am not buying ANYTHING at full-price.

But babysteal.com? Yeah. It has taken some money I probably shouldn't have spent. Polka-dotted glass bottles and a cheap boppy pillow and some tiny non-swaddle type blankets.

It's funny. We waited a full YEAR without a working toaster, because we figured we'd get one for the wedding. But I have no desire to wait and see what people want to buy me for the baby. I want it all, and I want it now. Except for baby clothes. Which I love looking at, but have reluctantly decided to wait to find out gender before investing. And am also pretty aware that, especially if it's a boy, I shall be awash in hand-me-downs anyhow.

Anyhow, yes. I am Officially Twelve Weeks Pregnant. I have survived my three months of teary, let's hope this is really going to be three months of cheery. (Prior to my three months weary.) (Mom gave me that little rhyme, said it was an old saying of somesort.)

[starlooker]

So. Week 13 begins today. Again, YAHOO!

Also, yawn. Woke up at 2:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. When I do dream, they are very vivid and involved these days. But not bad dreams. Just -- like my brain is making up movies to entertain itself.

So, the night following the hide-and-seek game my baby decided to play with us at the doctor, Donny initiated a Serious Conversation with me.

Warning: Abortion discussion ahead. Caveat to the rest of this post: I'm reporting my personal experience and viewpoint of pregnancy throughout this thread. I'm writing about this because this conversation was a memorable part of my experience during pregnancy. I'm not writing this as an argument for my point of view or with the purpose of sparking a debate in this lovely, calm, happy baby thread. Nor am I judging anyone who would feel differently than me. If it inspires you to want to get all debate-y, I'm seriously requesting you take it to one of the pre-existing threads on the topic or start a new one. Please.

Anyhow. The doctor was explaining to us the purpose of the genetic screening (basically, testing for Down's syndrome and Trisomy), how the recommended follow-up would be an amniocentesis, and the reasons for getting the screening (unless we are 100% against following up with an amnio, which has a 1 in 1000 chance of causing miscarriage). Included among several other reasons for doing it was the statement, "if you would consider terminating the pregnancy if the amnio was positive."

Honestly, I didn't think too much of that. I would probably want the amnio, more than likely, if the screen comes back positive, but more because I would want to read everything in the world about the topic and be prepared beforehand. Mainly, I was taking the perspective of: we'll talk about it if it happens.

Later that night, though -- well, very early the next morning -- Donny brought it up. In the nervous but sincere way he brings up sensitive topics. Apparently, it had bothered him a good deal. Because, really, we've never talked a whole lot about our views on abortion in general. We're both generally pro-choice, Donny somewhat less than me. We each know that the other absolutely despises the man who murdered Dr. Tiller in cold blood in our own church one Sunday morning, as well as when people tacitly or explicitly approve that action. But we haven't had extensive conversations on the topic in general.

And we've definitely never talked about it as pertaining to our Little Bit, who we already love and want so, so badly.

So, it was uncomfortable for him to bring up. Because it's something we hate to think about, because he was afraid to upset me, and because what if our points of view were different? However, they really aren't. Basically, we love our baby and want it very badly, and the big question is the quality of life we could give Little Bit. And, in the case of Down's syndrome, we believe we could give our child a good life. So, both of our instincts are pretty well like, "Forget it, no way, nohow." Although we'd probably read more about it and have this discussion again. But if a situation were to arise where my life was severely endangered or there was little chance our child would experience anything in life other than suffering -- well, we'd revisit the topic at that point. We don't know. But both of our instincts are, "Yes, in that case, probably."

What I do know is that it does feel good to be on the same page with it, that I'm glad he brought it up, and that it is so, so, so personal. It's more the process of talking about it that makes it important to me, not the content. It's another moment of us having to be close together, being responsible for this little life, of having to be US, independent of the opinions of the rest of the world, because this is our family.

[steph]

You know what I love? I love my Bella Band. It is awesome and freeing and makes me think that I will keep wearing it whenever I go out to eat and plan to gorge myself when I am someday NOT pregnant.

Like when we go to Cinzettis again? Maybe Brian and Donny will need a bella band, too.

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Momma Brontosaurus is grumpy today. Not enough sleep may contribute to that, as well as the med shift, but either way, I'm a grump. Warning: profanity.

Went to my midwife appointment today. First problem, my regular midwife is on vacation. They may have told me that but I forgot to write it down, or they might not have mentioned it prior. I am sick and tired of people I don't know poking and prodding me and asking questions and giving stupid advice that I've already heard, but how do they know that, because they don't know me! And it wasn't just a sub midwife, it was a new student too, AND an "observer", whatever the hell THAT is. And I was startled and I don't react well to surprises, and it made it all rather unhappy. I could have said no, but I don't react well to surprises. I generally believe in helping with the education of others, and up till now I haven't minded the endless parade of students, they have to learn somehow, right? But I think from now on, unless it's the midwife student(s) I already know, I'm going to have to refuse, for my sanity. I can't handle any more people in my extremely personal space.

Then the student calculated where I am supposed to be, and was off by two days. Which is nothing, really, but didn't add to my comfort level. And then she commented that I looked very healthy (I am almost getting tired of that compliment) but much bigger than the date would suggest. I AM JUST THE RIGHT SIZE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. f*** OFF.

Also they had trouble reading my charts. Look, people, it's not MY fault you keep passing me around to different people. And I've told you twice that notation is from my last ultrasound in the hospital, stop wondering who it was made it. No, not last week, two weeks ago, read the date. And yes I had the GTT, that is in the damn notes you're reading.

Also please shut the hell up about my iron levels. I know I absorb iron poorly. Yes, I'm on a supplement. Stop f****** telling me how to increase my dietary iron. I've already long since given up fighting Wee Brontosaurus when it demands meat. I know about the vitamin C. I know not to take it with dairy. Stop suggesting me foods. STOP IT STOP IT. I know that the iron in spinach is usually bio-unavailable, but apparently you don't because you're still recommending it to me. I have a very healthy and well-balanced diet, and you've already commented how healthy I look, and can YOU cycle 20 miles in a day? Obviously I'm not about to pass out. And the prescription I have for iron says 2/day, and f*** if I'll up that to 3/day on the recommendation of someone who doesn't even know me and can barely even seem to manage my notes. I DO NEED TO POOP SOMETIME, YOU KNOW. And tinned tomatoes are high in vitamin C? Regular tomatoes are as well, you know. SHUT THE f*** UP ALREADY.

Wait, you made an appointment for me already? Without even checking if I'm available? And you're writing it in my notes before I can even check my diary? Please tell me my regular midwife will be back by then. PLEASE.

I am so sick of being passed around and I hate inconsistency, and it stresses me out so much. I'm grumpy and unhappy and have no small furry critters to cuddle. I already feel ridiculous and bloated and under a microscope with my every move, I really didn't need to feel even worse. I'm still unhappy with the amitriptyline. I just didn't need all this. I was really hoping to talk about the birth plan today, but it felt pointless and I just wanted to leave as fast as I could. I could feel myself going very quiet and responding minimally, which for me is a really bad thing in a situation like this. Just shutting down and withdrawing.

I hoped that ranting here would help, but it doesn't feel like it has. I still feel very upset and un-listened-to. Not like a person. I've pulled up the contact info for the local Supervisor of Midwives, and if I'm still really upset by the time I wake up from my nap, I may call and request no further students and also how I can have more consistency in my care. I don't want to complain about any specific person, I just want to fix the situation if possible.

[Luet]

I'm so sorry, Ali. That sounds like a miserable appointment all around. And med changes are never fun. I hope you feel better after your nap!

[Gravity Defier]

*hugs* I hope you're able to work something out, to stop your private parts from feeling like a zoo exhibit.

[starlooker]

You know what I love? I love my Bella Band. It is awesome and freeing and makes me think that I will keep wearing it whenever I go out to eat and plan to gorge myself when I am someday NOT pregnant.

Like when we go to Cinzettis again? Maybe Brian and Donny will need a bella band, too.

PRECISELY. That is PRECISELY what I mean.



Ali, I hope you do call the supervisor. Or at least speak to someone about getting some more privacy and some more consistency. Those things are so important. And it's so frustrating not to be able to discuss what's important to you because you have new people trying to educate you on what is important to them. It's not necessarily their fault, but at the same time, it's not helpful.

Anyhow, many hugs and much sympathy.

[starlooker]

You know what's weird? The way that as soon as people know you're pregnant they feel they have total license to comment on your body and how big it's getting. I've even had one person who I am NOT close to at all tell me how they'd notice my chest got bigger. (Female, totally non-sexual matter-of-fact observation.)

Thanks for that. I hadn't noticed.

I miss the grumbly-faced smiley.

I hate the weight gain. I hate that my baby bump is pretty much totally bump right now with just a teensy bit baby.

[starlooker]

Someone else needs to post in here. I haven't made a triple post for awhile.

Anyhow, weighed myself today and discovered that I weigh exactly what I've weighed for about 3-4 weeks now. So, my perceived weight gain is probably just things moving and shifting around. That makes me feel better.

It is FUN talking about pregnancy and babies with co-workers. People who think I'm leaving my job voluntarily are all kinds of excited for me and busily informing me I will never regret the time I take to spend with my baby, because it goes by so fast. And that makes me feel a little better about things.

(Also, I've had a lot of clients that I'm saying good-bye to tell me about how much I've helped them, and how they're going to miss me, and in a few cases, how I'm the best therapist they've had. And, frankly, that is somewhat healing for my fragile ego. And I'm going to miss them. A lot.)

I feel weird saying this, almost confessiony, but -- I really do think I'm going to be a good mother. I am feeling a lot less inadequate for some reason. It's nice.

I really love this whole freaking process, even if I get annoyed by some of the specifics. My body is so smart and amazing, and I know it's going through a process billions of other women's bodies have gone through, but that's not the point. The point is this is ME doing this, somehow, and my body and my baby just know what they're doing. And I have a lot of admiration for that.

[VelvetElvis]

Yay, Kirsten! I'm glad things are looking up.

[Luet]

You ARE amazing and are going to be a great mother.

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Momma Brontosaurus has been super-duper stressed about a whole bunch of things, and is sorry for not posting more. It's been a bit hard to talk.

I've been a bit frustrated with having trouble contacting the supervisor of midwives. I'm trying again today (they are supposed to be 24-hours available, but the hospital switchboard person has been unhelpful in directing me). I really, really want to have some sense of security about my care. Even though it's probably better than it feels, it feels uncertain right now and I just want to sort it. I don't want to complain about anyone in particular, they have all been generally competent and supportive.

A co-worker loaned me one of her books, "The Good Birth Companion", and every page has been re-affirming my gut instinct about how this s*** should go down. I'm going to share it with Rei, who is totally on board with me. Reclaiming a feeling of control over my care and circumstances will go a long way to reducing my anxiety. I'm especially keen for it to be noted in big, bold letters on my chart that attempting to make me lie on my back might result in me punching someone. If it feels like a helpful place to be, I'll do it, I'm not intrinsically opposed, but right now the thought of being forced into that sort of powerless position triggers a serious "fight-or-flight" response in me.

It's possible that the med shift has contributed to my anxiety, but since going back to where I was is not an option, sorting out the psychological stuff is even more important.

Anyway, I guess I'll post again when I have something to report?

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Still edemic. Had to prise off my wedding ring. But with my fingers getting so puffy, I just didn't want to risk something happening and it needing to be cut off. You can still see the indent in my ring finger where it normally sits. My fingers are puffed up enough that the ring now sits comfortably and mostly securely on my baby finger.

Had a restless, overheated night two nights ago, and got a sudden, lasting pain in my lower abdomen. I think I just rolled wrong or something, the pain was very muscular. But it freaked me the hell out, or would have, if Wee Brontosaurus hadn't currently been practising its ninja moves. So reassuring! Felt better in the morning, called maternity triage, got reassured by them too. Gah.

Baby also still hates my sinuses.

This article makes me feel vaguely smug about my pregnancy diet. I gots a fat-butt baby who gets loads of fruit and veg and healthy from-scratch food. I shouldn't be so smug since baby is also the cause of the fruit obsession, and if I could afford to eat out more I probably would, but still. Aaaaand that reminds me to take my vitamins, because I'm still not going to be eating any fish. Sorry, little one.

[starlooker]

Ultrasound today! Mama loves her some ultrasounds!

You know, except for the part of me that suddenly is getting nervous that the screen is going to come back positive and then we'll have to decide whether to do an amnio and all that.

But, still! Ultrasound! Yay!

I'm going to have a baby! (I keep announcing this to Donny, have since the pregnancy was confirmed. He is, amazingly, also acutely aware of this fact, but does not seem to mind me telling him again about five times a day.)

ITCHY, lately. Not in one particular spot, just kind of all over. Dry skin, maybe? Dunno. Also, acne has returned with a vengeance. ALL OVER. Geez.

Went to church yesterday. Started out well. Donny and I are FASCINATED by people with babies, lately. It's like we're birdwatching together. "Look, there's one over there!"

Got made a little bit emotionally vulnerable by the sermon's discussion of Moses's mom putting him in the basket, and the baby crying. I do not handle stories about sad children and/or mothers well, lately.

And then the children's sermon had some message about God being with us even when we're in stormy waters and being tossed about by waves, and I started crying. And had no tissue. Which is not a mistake I will make again. Because apparently since pregnancy affects your mucus membranes as well, crying has become an extremely snotty affair for me. So, I eventually excused myself to the bathroom after trying to hold it together for awhile. An older lady was in there with another woman -- possibly her daughter -- and was also crying. I was trying to be very business-like and efficient about my crying. Going to the bathroom stall, ripping up toilet paper to take with me on my return, washing off mascara (first time I've worn it in months). Anyhow, older lady was telling daughter she felt bad for making a scene, and daughter told her she wasn't, and then I looked over at lady, who was looking at me and somehow unaware I was crying, but became aware pretty quickly when she saw my face, and I told her I was just grateful not to be the only one, which made us both laugh, a bit. Anyhow, took some tissue and returned to the service just in time to slip in line with Donny for communion. Managed not to bawl. Eyes were definitely red. During the last hymn, I thought about standing in line with other people and my red eyes and could not stand it, so got Donny to leave early and then cried on the way home.

This whole "pregnant and unemployed thing" is starting to really, really get to me. I mean, the happiness about Little Bit has carried me through some of the stress thus far. But now it's getting closer -- both the job loss and the baby -- and scaring me more. We need so much stuff. Like, you know, food and prenatal visits and clothes. Everything costs money.

Later, Donny went up to work with me and carted out most of my books and other stuff I want to keep, since two of my bosses made me swear not to do any heavy lifting. That was actually fine, emotionally, somehow.

Anyhow, Little Bit is apparently doing well. My hand naturally goes to my lower abdomen for comfort when I'm stressed out. And it's comforting.

My breasts have not been terribly tender for about a month, but were hurting like all anything last night. I think they're growing again. Alas.

Claussen pickles are freaking awesome. FYI. Have not yet tried with ice cream. No intention of doing so.

Donny and I were reminiscing in the car ride home from work yesterday about when Little Bit was just the size of a poppy seed. He was fondly recalling being woken up from a sound sleep to answer my urgent inquiry as to whether there were one or two pink lines on a white stick. It's funny. It's gone so slowly, and yet it's amazing how much I know my baby has changed in such a short amount of time.

(I want to call it our baby. It is our baby. Donny has been amazingly supportive and helpful to me through this whole process, and I could not ask for a better partner. And, yet, all of my mama-bear instinct screams, "MINE!" when I think about Little Bit. My baby in my body listening to my heartbeat and being rocked by my rhythms when I walk or toss and turn or whatever.)

[Eaquae Legit]

I really, really recommend getting onto freecycle. You can pick up a LOT from there. Also don't forget that people are going to want to give your baby presents, and that will mean lots of clothes and toys. You will be okay, I promise. I definitely, definitely understand how stressful it is, but keep reminding yourself it will be okay.

[steph]

Kirsten, you may feel weird doing it, but apply for medicaid. I had to with Tyler, since Brian was unemployed. It's there for a reason, and you and this baby are two of the reasons! Use it! It's incredible knowing that, no matter what happens with the pregnancy and birth, medicaid will cover the cost.

Also, Donny should look for jobs in Denver. Just sayin'!

[starlooker]

Thanks, guys.

I'm on Freecycle. So far, no luck, but I'm keeping an eye on it.

Steph -- we very well may. I don't know. We were thinking we'd suck it up and pay one month of Cobra, and then apply for Medicaid if we still didn't have insurance. But, the way things are going, it might just be better to apply right away. And it does feel weird. And awful. But I'll suck it up and use it (and food stamps, if necessary). Baby needs nutrition and medical care, so. Pride has to take a backseat. And we will find something before the baby is born. We have to. There has to be something out there for both of us.

*reminds self, this is not forever, this is just for now.*

[steph]

It is hard to do. I've done it. But I feel like it's worth it. And the sooner the better, since they are usually backlogged on approving applications. You WILL be approved, since they want to make sure babies are taken care of. Once you are approved, it will be retroactive to the date of application, so, seriously, the sooner the better. (I'd go with you today, if I could!!) It will not only cover the cost of pregnancy, but THROUGH the first year of little bit's life. It's a huge burden lifted, knowing that, NO MATTER WHAT, your baby is taken care of.

The other thing I'd recommend is WIC. You'll get "coupons" to cover the cost of things like milk, cheese, bread, peanut butter, juice concentrate, etc. You should be able to apply for that at the same time as Medicaid.

[Petra456]

Claussen pickles are freaking awesome. FYI. Have not yet tried with ice cream. No intention of doing so.

Amazing pickles! They're a regular snack for me : )

[Eaquae Legit]

I wish I were close enough that I could send you packages of what Wee Brontosaurus grows out of.

Have you taken a look at the list on the Alphamom calendar? It really helped me sort things into "essential" and "wait and see". The list of essential items is a LOT smaller than all the magazines and advertisements would have you believe. Starts on week 22 of the pregnancy calendar.

And don't dispair on the freecycling - it can take a while to get what you're looking for. I've been at it for months, and have a success maybe once for every five or six items I inquire about. Don't be afraid to play up the "first time mom, just lost job" angle, either - I will shamelessly spin a sob story when I email, because heck, it's true! Garage sales and nearly-new sales are great as well. Sometimes I get a pang of guilt for not getting all shiny new stuff (because doesn't my baby deserve the best?) and then I have to beat it back and remind myself how quickly baby will grow out of it all, and how much waste I'm saving. And then I take a second to admire how effective the slick, slick marketing is.

If I can help at all, I will. Even if it's just moral support or reporting parenting hacks I find workable.

*big hugs*

[steph]

Everything that Ali said it true!

[starlooker]

Thanks, so, so, so much.

Anyhow, sitting at home, waiting to leave for the ultrasound appointment. I'm not supposed to empty my bladder for the next hour plus however long the ultrasound takes.

Waaaait. These people are supposed to understand how pregnant women's bodies work? Because, um, I'm listening to the water running in my husband's shower and freaking dying already, here! NOT looking forward to the car ride. And, Reece, don't you DARE jump up onto my tummy right now! No! No! No! ARRRRRGHHH!

Dratted cat.

[steph]

Oh my gosh, not peeing before an ultra sound is so hard! It really does push the uterus into better position for seeing baby, though.

For one of mine, I had to wait so long past my appt time that my bladder was SO full and the tech had me pee, since it was making things harder.

[starlooker]

The cat just got off of my tummy -- and then the other cat climbed on.

I have got to train these two better than this.

Oh, God, I hope they get us in on time.

[Eaquae Legit]

I let myself pee. I have to walk to the hospital, and I have my limits. But I make sure to drink lots right before we go, so it will hit me by the time I get in to be scanned. It is truly torture. AUGH.

[starlooker]

Hey,

Ultrasounds are awesome. Ultrasounds done by ultrasound techs are even more awesome, because instead of having to look over her shoulder onto the computer, you just lay back onto a fluffy pillow and watch everything on a big screen TV.

And, OH. SO MUCH FUN. The baby looks like a baby now! Little Bit was moving around like a little jumping bean, once she got going with the ultrasound thingy. We could see Little Bit kicking and jumping and waving at us (well, so it seemed). Heartbeat was easy to spot, and we could see the brain and the nose and the toes and hands and fingers! BABY IN MY BELLY.

Worth the uncomfortably full bladder, oh yes.

Little Bit has come a long way from that little poppy seed, and from that first ultrasound. Check it out.

This is the best of the two full pictures, I think. Little Bit just seems to be contemplating those little bitty toes



Slightly different view:



And a picture of Little Bit's arm, which the tech did because I think she was amused by how fascinated I was with the arms and hands. Not a great view of the fingers, unfortunately.



Genius baby! Growing, growing, GROWING! And moving! Cannot wait to feel little kicks and waves!

[Jayelle]

Oooh! Your baby looks baby-like!

Did you find out the gender? Are you going to?

[starlooker]

I know! Can you believe the difference a few weeks makes?

No gender yet. Not till 20 weeks. But, oh my gosh, YES, we are totally going to find out. Cannot wait to start calling Little Bit by name!

(ETA: I also peeked at the NT measurement, and per the Internet, THAT part of the test is absolutely dead normal. Still need to wait on the blood test, but I'm pretty reassured.)

[Jayelle]

I was talking to a pregnant friend recently and remembered something important about childbirth that I need to tell you lovely pregnant ladies:

YOU WILL BE STARVING. After giving birth most (all that I've talked to) woman are very, very hungry. Have food in your hospital bag, or food at the ready if you're at home. I have never been so hungry in my entire life as I've been an hour or so after the two times I've given birth. Both times, I was unprepared (you think I would learn) and had to wait for crappy hospital food.

Breastfeeding also makes you teenage-boy hungry as well.

[steph]

Jan speaks the truth.

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Good to know! I will pack assorted non-perishable items, and possibly a frozen dinner which will thaw during labour and be edible cold (like fried rice, mmmm). I imagine the ravenosity is akin to my post-swimathon eat-everything-in-sight state.

Kirsten! Baby! Isn't it big and baby-looking?! YAY!!!

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

The edema is really bothering me. I'm glad I'm going to see my GP tomorrow, since maybe he can recommend something to help deal with it. My fingers feel like sausages and my feet and ankles are just as bad.

I'm also going to have fun telling him that I am refusing the alternative anti-depressant I was prescribed - I'd rather go off meds entirely than deal with the fun! new! side effects of the alternative. I'd rather have the very mild depression symptoms for a couple months, thanks. And I'd really rather just have no extra chemicals in my system to pass on to Wee Brontosaurus if I can avoid it.

I got a call from the Supervisor of Midwives today - turns out she was on vacation. That explains a lot. She was quite nice, and asked if I had had it explained about the local hospital being a teaching hospital (yes). And had I been agreeing to have students when I didn't really feel like it (not until the most recent appointment). I really tried to stress that I haven't minded and every individual person has been very nice, that it was just the accumulation of people getting to me. She was surprised to hear about the "observer" at my last appointment and said she would investigate that. Apparently that's not supposed to happen? She also said I sounded upset right now, which was ironic, because I'm far, far calmer and more rational than when I initially called her. The baby has taken over my nasal passages, really! That's all!

Anyway, 31 weeks down - every day is closer and closer to getting my body back and being able to cuddle the reward for all these months of hassle. And my mom booked her flight out here, so it's also closer and closer to seeing my mom!

[starlooker]

Anyway, 31 weeks down - every day is closer and closer to getting my body back and being able to cuddle the reward for all these months of hassle. And my mom booked her flight out here, so it's also closer and closer to seeing my mom!

AWWWwwww! Very happy about those two things. Cannot wait to cuddle my own little one. Daydreaming about that a lot lately.

~~

Watching Angel today. Episode where Darla is huge, pregnant, and wanting to feed on children to stop the pounding hunger. And, damned if I didn't sympathize. Not with the eating children part, but with the "Make this hunger stop!" part.

[starlooker]

You know what?

Even though I'm terribly worried at times about what we're gonna do, and how we're going to support the baby, and as stressed out and scared as I am, I am glad this -- this pregnancy, this baby, this miracle -- is happening now. I wouldn't trade this for the world, nor would I put it off if we had it to do over again. I am happy being pregnant, and I'm happy that I'm pregnant right now, and I cannot wait to see what changes the baby brings, and I'm enjoying the changes in our lives that have already begun. There is overwhelming fear at times, but there is not one single drop of regret.

I love this. This baby, this state-of-being, this time in my life.

[neo-dragon]

15 worst things to say to a pregnant woman (with appropriate responses)