Girly Stuff

[steph]

This reminded me of Jan's post in here; it made me very sad at the levels of unnecessarily tragic this reached.

I saw that this morning, too. I had the same thoughts.

[Jayelle]

It makes me so mad. On so many levels.

[steph]

The boys are all at a Father/Son campout with church. Kinley and I get a girl's night...except that she's only 1 and I don't remember how to have just a baby. We've read books, stacked play doh containers and now we're having some watermelon and sugar snap peas. Then she's going to have a bath before bed and I get to fold the massive amounts of laundry taking over my bed. I think girl's night will be a lot more fun when she gets a little older.

[steph]

Stupid, stupid yeast problem!!!! GO AWAY!

At this point, I've gotten it under control enough with lifestyle changes that I rarely get full-blown infection. That's not good enough for me, though. I am so tired of always feeling on the verge of an infection at all times. I'm glad for the break that I had while I was pregnant and nursing, but this has been going on since I stopped nursing Brayden and he's almost 4! Enough is enough!

[Luet]

Are you sure it's yeast related at this point? I felt like I had a yeast/bladder infection for 4-5 years but tested negative. I had urethral syndrome, an irritation of the urethra. Anything acidic, like coffee or tea, made it worse. And the first pee of the morning stung more. Is yours itchy or burny? Anyway, just an idea. You could always see a urologist to see if they could help.

[steph]

My ob/gyn has tested and seen both yeast and bacteria. I may need to go in again to see if they'll check for other things.

[Luet]

That really sucks. *hugs*

[steph]

Thanks. On the + side, going off processed sugar and flour for the last couple of weeks, trying to kick the yeast, has caused me to loose the last 6-7 baby pounds. I don't know that I want to not eat oreos at all any more. It's not like I eat them often, but I'd like to be able to sit down with my kids and eat an oreo.

[Claire]

Relating back to the gender roles conversation we were having earlier, I absolutely HATE the Miller Lite commercials.

[Petrie]

I don't watch enough TV to know which/what you mean, Claire. Can you expand on that or link to something, please?

[Claire]

Their whole campaign is "man up and choose a light beer with more taste". The commercials make really ridiculous judgments about what is manly, and imply that you're only attractive if you fit their judgment of manly, etc. Its not only stupid, its offensive.

"we're saving you from unmanly behavior"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1IizMrO2K4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCJ8mCV39M8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUJ36nFdOyg&NR=1

[Dr. Mobius]

Heh, the first few of those were amusing back when it started, but they wore out the formula pretty quick and they're just annoying anymore. Almost as annoying as the damn Geico gecko.

[VelvetElvis]

I feel like such a woman failure because I think someone forgot to pull that tab thing in the battery compartment of my biological clock. No desire to have kids. Not even a little.

[Eaquae Legit]

Don't feel like a failure! Lots of women find for whatever reason that they don't want kids! Heck, I'm halfway there, and I'm still massively freaked out by the idea!

[Luet]

I feel like such a woman failure because I think someone forgot to pull that tab thing in the battery compartment of my biological clock. No desire to have kids. Not even a little.

I have no desire either and I'm sure I'm much older than you. Please try not to feel like a woman failure. That's just society pushing their expectations on you. You have to do whatever makes you happy.

[steph]

Please don't feel like a woman failure! Having kids is not for everyone and I feel sorry for kids whose parents don't want kids but have them anyway. It's so not fair to the kid or the parent. I fully support people choosing to not have kids!

[starlooker]

Please don't feel like a woman failure! Having kids is not for everyone and I feel sorry for kids whose parents don't want kids but have them anyway. It's so not fair to the kid or the parent. I fully support people choosing to not have kids!

Amen to this.

[Claire]

Ughhh can we please invent a less painful way of laser hair removal? Or a quicker way?

[Petrie]

I don't know...seems to me the permanence and convenience of laser hair removal justifies the pain and time it may take to make happen. I have no idea how long or painful that process is but considering the time/pain you'll save down the road, it seems fair enough to me.


Unwanted body hair is one of those things I've struggled with. I'm getting better about it but it's still something I'm working on.

In other potentially girly news, this:

I also am now making it a point to be concerned about portion sizes, not eating after 8 if I can help it, and trying to achieve some semblance of a healthy diet but all that last thing means is snacking on fruit or nuts or toast instead of on chips, desserts, etc.

seems to be paying off for my weight. I have dropped 4lbs over the past two weeks and am now sitting happily at my happy/goal weight.

Now, no offense to the twigs of the world, because I know there a lot of people who have high metabolisms or whatnot and may or may not struggle with their twiginess, but the more I see pictures of once healthy looking Hollywood starlets who now resemble bobbleheads or lollipops, the happier I am with my own body. Which is probably not a good thing, for me to feel better because of how I see them, but it's what's happening.

[Luet]

I have had some laser hair removal, due to incredibly dense/coarse hair and the problems with removing it by regular means. I don't mind the pain or time involved (pain is less than waxing for me), though the price is quite exorbitant. I would have a lot more laser if it was more affordable.

[megxers]

I am so getting laser hair removal as soon as I can justify the cost. Which might seem weird because I don't shave my legs very often, but I think my problem is there are so many areas I'd want it done, and I don't think I could have the patience/tolerance to well, do them all.

My metabolism and I are currently at war with each other. So far the basic/non-targeted hormone adjustment does seem to be working though I am half tempted to try the other one the endocrinologist gave me when I start at my new job I feel a bit more comfortable in my clothes and what not. The little things.

[steph]

I would love to afford laser hair removal. I don't have the energy/motivation/time to shave daily, but I'd love to have the hair gone forever.

In other news, some magazine seems to think I'm pregnant. They sent me a free subscription to start my pregnancy off right. Do they know something I don't?

[thoughtreader]

I hate how unsafe i feel when I'm home alone. I don't like being alone during the day, but once it gets dark it gets worse. I don't want to sleep, I make sure the doors are locked over and over. I hate being alone.
Every sound could be some unknown bad thing lurking in the dark. Or even worse bad things that i know.

I hate it

[VelvetElvis]

You'fre right that it night be something bad. But it could just as easily be something wonderfully exciting. Like a kitty cat! Or a Bat! Or a badger!

[mr_thebrain]

apparently you've never met a badger... they aren't generally good company, nor something you want in your house.

generally speaking, i want none of those in my house.

[thoughtreader]

You'fre right that it night be something bad. But it could just as easily be something wonderfully exciting. Like a kitty cat! Or a Bat! Or a badger!

apparently you've never met a badger... they aren't generally good company, nor something you want in your house.

generally speaking, i want none of those in my house.

Badgers are bad ass mo fos.

[GS]

I usually keep a bat around, just in case a badger stops by for a visit.

[mr_thebrain]

Badgers are bad ass mo fos.

yep, they're my favorite college team

wisconsin is the land of the badger.

[Young Val]

Or a badger!

I am so happy you're posting regularly again.

[steph]

Or a badger!

I am so happy you're posting regularly again.

2nded.

[VelvetElvis]

It was about time, yes?

[GS]

It was about time, yes?

About time you started posting again? Or about time that people are happy about it?

[VelvetElvis]

Both options are acceptable.

[Petrie]

I had what were probably the least painful cramps I've had in ages today and I'm pretty sure I saw some period related discharge, though not my actual period, so I should be bleeding soon. This is good news in that it explains a bit the epic low I felt yesterday at what should have been shake-off type comments. I'm a bit nervous, after 2 months of overall happiness, that I'm going to go full stride into another depressive episode. Thankfully, these have been self-contained little episodes.

Anyway, some irrational thoughts I had yesterday and some general rambling.

What I posted about my grandma not being wrong about me, I stand by. It's not as self-deprecating or depression/low self-esteem based as it may seem. I'm doing better with all that stuff lately. Not the best but better.

I am plain. Not ugly but also not turn-heads pretty. Plain and simple and if you weren't already looking for me, I wouldn't stick out in a crowd. I'm okay with that.

But the way my grandma reminds me, well, it's like she's trying to pass on the hurt her own mother gave her with similar comments. She has said she needs to see someone about the issues she has from her parents and I don't think she's wrong about that, either. I think I'm a punching bag sort of thing for her.

But being okay with being plain doesn't mean you don't want someone to find you pretty. Not everyone, not just anyone. Someone. If you catch my drift. When I'm already in a depressive mode, no matter how minor it might be, it's easy to start thinking negatively.

By the time I got back to my room from my mom's after hearing the comment, I was half-convinced that the boy would agree with my grandma. For all I know, he does. From there, it stemmed into this whole big "I'm pretty sure he hates me/thinks I'm boring/lies to me about liking my company just like everyone else" and it was unbearable, being in my head. I knew to make those leaps was irrational and stupid but in the middle of it, it made perfect sense. Nothing could convince me otherwise and in fact, I could probably convince a person or two of it.

This piled into the strange pressure I now feel to lose weight, after seeing the doctor this past Thursday. I don't want to lose weight, even if I am squishy. But to hear the "O" word (not the fun one, at that) was scary and undermined everything I thought about how healthy I was. I'm 134-137lbs. I'm 5'2". Plug that stuff into BMI or imagine people you know who might have similar measurements. I'm not thin. I'm just not. But I'm not obese, either. I hate to whip out the "big-boned" stuff but I'm not built with a small frame, exactly. I'm supposed to be 14-17lbs lighter, as a maximum, but ideally, 34-37 lbs lighter. I am convinced I would look...sick, flat, skeletal. I had a really fun talk with Teresa about this the day I got the measurements from the doctor.

I don't know. I often times feel like I got stuck at puberty, as far as my self-image is concerned. All the grown-ups don't seem to care what they look like and/or aren't fixated on it.

Oh well. I'm feeling good enough today to at least trust that if this boy doesn't think I'm pretty, there is bound to be one who does so let's not sweat it.

[Dr. Mobius]

For what it's worth, I think you're pretty. So what if you're not drop-dead gorgeous, you're still attractive you dork, both physically and in what some would argue are more important ways.