Ender's "simulations"

[toone00/3]

I just recently reread Ender's game and have read Ender's Shadow and I was wondering something about it. Does Ender realize while playing the game that he is actually killing Buggers and losing human lives? I remember that in a certain part that he is gnawing on his hand and Ender is driven to the point of insanity. But I'm not too sure if Bean also said something about if Ender knew something subconsciously of what was actually happening in the scenarios to the people and also the Buggers. Hmm I think that I need to reread Ender's Shadow again.

[locke]

Ender didn't consciously know what was going on. Bean didn't tell him.

Subconsciously Ender may have had an inkling of what was going on, but it was the stress and strain of what was asked of him physically and mentally that caused Ender's breakdown.