Hello all,
Well, I'm no huge follower of poetry, I don't even know the rules of it really, but some people seem to think I'm decent at it. Pwebbers are known for being brutally honest, so I was hoping for an honest opinion from some of you.
Tell me if this is anything halfway decent:
Above him, there was no moon.
No stars. No light to speak of.
He saw what was himself:
A chasm of smog shrouding the beyond.
The beyond; his hope:
Obscured. Unreachable.
He closed his eyes and enshrined:
Millions of tiny fireflies lightyears away.
A mass of resplendent orbs,
Illuminating the galaxies.
As light he once had,
As light now withdrawn.
Breakable skin was thrashed by frigid wind.
His eyes eased open to reality,
And beheld a single point.
One particle of brilliance
Gave refulgence to the sombre abyss.
And the outlying horizon,
Previously Indistinguishable,
Was etched with ethereal violet,
Promising the coming aurora of sunrise.
Thanks
Is this any good?
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 478
- Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2006 1:11 am
- Contact:
Is this any good?
Knowledge is bliss. Ignorance just doesn't know what bliss means.
- Young Val
- Commander
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:00 pm
- Title: Papermaster
- First Joined: 12 Sep 2000
- Location: from New York City to St. Paul, MN (but I'm a Boston girl at heart).
- Contact:
Nomi's correct; there is another thread for this sort of thing. but here's my question: what kind of feedback are you really looking for?
"is it good?"
that can mean a lot of different things. is it good enough to win awards? to be in the new yorker? to get an agent and put out a chapbook?
is it good enough for a college homework assignment? is it good enough for you to be proud of on its own?
a lot of times when people want others to critique their writing or art, they aren't specific about the type of critique that they want, and they usually wind up very very unhappy.
as is the rule of thumb with any type of writing, if you want to write you must read. read as much poetry by as many poets as you can, and then some.
"is it good?"
that can mean a lot of different things. is it good enough to win awards? to be in the new yorker? to get an agent and put out a chapbook?
is it good enough for a college homework assignment? is it good enough for you to be proud of on its own?
a lot of times when people want others to critique their writing or art, they aren't specific about the type of critique that they want, and they usually wind up very very unhappy.
as is the rule of thumb with any type of writing, if you want to write you must read. read as much poetry by as many poets as you can, and then some.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
-
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 2539
- Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:11 pm
- Title: Stayin' Alive
- First Joined: 17 Aug 2002
- Location: Evansville, IN
- hive_king
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 1269
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:48 am
- Title: has been eaten by a bear
- Location: Sacramento, CA
- Contact:
Poetry has rules? Why does no one tell me these things?
The Makeout Hobo is real, and does indeed travel around the country in his van and make out with ladies... If you meet him, it is customary to greet him with a shot of whiskey and a high five (if you are a dude) or passionate makeouts (if you are a lady).
-
- Soldier
- Posts: 478
- Joined: Wed Dec 27, 2006 1:11 am
- Contact:
-
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 2539
- Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:11 pm
- Title: Stayin' Alive
- First Joined: 17 Aug 2002
- Location: Evansville, IN
- hive_king
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 1269
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:48 am
- Title: has been eaten by a bear
- Location: Sacramento, CA
- Contact:
poetry sin rules
is this really illegal?
why, just ask whitman
is this really illegal?
why, just ask whitman
The Makeout Hobo is real, and does indeed travel around the country in his van and make out with ladies... If you meet him, it is customary to greet him with a shot of whiskey and a high five (if you are a dude) or passionate makeouts (if you are a lady).
Return to “Milagre Town Square”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Ahrefs [Bot] and 53 guests