More Exciting Ways to Go from A to B

[zeroguy]

Hey, these are simply the best ideas some of us have:

(Apologies in advance; this doesn't really translate to text well, and it's longer than I originally thought; I couldn't think of a place to cut it more.)

We [men] want women, that's it!... It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is: we want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far... The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks: [imitates horn] e-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh, this man is out of ideas. How does it...? [imitates horn again] e-e-e-eeeehhhh, "I don't think she likes me"...

The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we. Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Wherever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, OK, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene... That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: "Where to meet men?". We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.

-- Jerry Seinfeld

We have a lot of area to cover. We're sorry it's not always our best guy on the scene.

[anonshadow]

Jerry Seinfeld really doesn't translate well to text, does he?

[zeroguy]

I'm not sure if it's that, or if it's just the poor quality of the resource I got the quote from. My guess is both. I tried cleaning it up a little, but I'm not sure if it did much.

Maybe this will help. Complete with Spanish subtitles!

[Dr. Mobius]

Heh, if you think catcalls are bad, grow a penis and try listening to the s*** they say amongst themselves when the target is out of earshot.

[Eaquae Legit]

I just started riding my bike again after being lazy for more than a month. It hurt. My legs are fine, but certain other parts which come into closer contact with the seat... not so fine.

I still enjoyed it, though.

[Eaquae Legit]

I'm bumping this in honour of Alea.

Between August and the end of October, I managed to put about 550-600 klicks on my odometer. In November, for work reasons, I got a transit pass. And December was such a whirlwind that I just didn't use my bike. Now it's January, and I'm pondering winterizing.

I don't think I'll go out in anything below -10C, but we still get days here and there where the roads are clear and it's at a temperature that doesn't break my brain to consider riding in. I've got solid leather gloves, a killer scarf, long johns, and good boots that go up almost to my knees. It's my arms I'm worried about. But most of all, I have to just do it. Once I get myself out the door a couple times, I'm sure I'll get back into it.

I'll keep you posted.

[locke]

*kicks truck and screams at it*

I think I may be getting a bike soon.

[Gravity Defier]

I only almost got hit twice! No catcalls that I could hear (headphones on) but I may have gotten a "WTF!" from the first woman to almost hit me. The second woman was nice enough to look like she felt a little bad. Both took place at T-Junctions, where they were turning onto the minor road and I was heading straight on the big boy. I want to type a letter and put it on their windshield about how I'd be less in their way if this stupid excuse for a city would put in bike lanes, making my life easier and safer.

Due to being a monumentally lazy goober for the past month, my legs are wobbly noodles after going to and from work. This shames me. However, my rear adjusted to the seat rather fast. Don't get me wrong, it is still highly uncomfortable and I think it'll always be most uncomfortable in the mornings but between the first ride a few days ago and today, it was bearable enough that I could ignore it until I got to my destination whereas the first ride felt much like I imagine a night in a prison might feel like to a newly imprisoned and very pretty male.

And now, to the shower.

[neo-dragon]

whereas the first ride felt much like I imagine a night in a prison might feel like to a newly imprisoned and very pretty male.

Lovely metaphor. Do you write poetry?

[Eaquae Legit]

Due to being a monumentally lazy goober for the past month, my legs are wobbly noodles after going to and from work. This shames me. However, my rear adjusted to the seat rather fast. Don't get me wrong, it is still highly uncomfortable and I think it'll always be most uncomfortable in the mornings but between the first ride a few days ago and today, it was bearable enough that I could ignore it until I got to my destination whereas the first ride felt much like I imagine a night in a prison might feel like to a newly imprisoned and very pretty male.

You win!

[Gravity Defier]

Lovely metaphor. Do you write poetry?

You would think so, wouldn't you? Alas, that's natural, raw talent right there.

You win!

Yay! I didn't know this thread came with prizes.

[Eaquae Legit]

Woo! Only -6, (mostly) dry roads, and a desire not to walk to the grocery store finally got me out the door and onto my bike. It was a slow ride, because I only have hybrid wheels and the tread isn't ideal, but I went out and really, it wasn't that hard. The long johns were a definite plus, and everything else worked too. And it was REALLY nice not to have to carry 4L of milk and a bunch of cans in my backpack. Side baskets are awesome.

[Crazy Tom: C Toon]

You know... It takes me about an hour and a half to get to school on my pogo stick...

[Gravity Defier]

Car:1
Alea:1

I got hit by a car on my way into work. I am physically okay.

As soon as he made sure I was physically okay and no longer in front of his vehicle, he took off.

He gets a point for hitting me.
I get a point for being indestructible.

[buckshot]

I hope you got the drivers info, in case you cant get up tomorrow !

[JayeIIe]

Yikes! I'm glad you're okay.
I almost got hit by a car a couple days ago. Idiot people turning left without looking. Grr.

[Eddie Pinz]

Car:1
Alea:1

He gets a point for hitting me.
I get a point for being indestructible.

I think you should get more than a point for being indestructible.

[jotabe]

Glad that you are ok ^_^
Buckshot has a point, you might want to get yourself checked up by a physician.
Or a physicist... we are practically perfect in every way.

[Gravity Defier]

I hope you got the drivers info, in case you cant get up tomorrow !

Nope. I just wanted to get out of the road and to a sidewalk after it happened, as sitting in the middle of the street seemed like a bad idea. When I moved, he drove off.

[neo-dragon]

I am very, very glad that you are indestructible.

I guess that thick head comes in handy. We should be asking if the car is okay.

[Petra456]

Holy cow, where did it hit you (like, did it get you from behind?). That's just crazy to think about.

[Gravity Defier]

He hit me on the side. I was at an intersection and the light had just changed to green -when I first arrived the light was newly red- so I wasn't going fast enough to avoid him. I was going straight, hugging the curb since we don't have bike lanes and I don't pedal down the middle of any roads and he came from behind me wanting to turn right. He had started to brake because as he approached the intersection the light was still red but at the end of its duration, so I had that going in my favor but I don't understand how he didn't see me. Either way, because I was just kickstarting myself and he had started to brake, we were going the perfect speeds to meet in the street and I only ended up partially underneath the bumper after my side was introduced to it. When I got myself and the bike upright and headed to the nearest sidewalk, he waved his hand as he drove off, like "Sorry but you're alive so no biggie, right?! Right!"

I'm not sure that was entirely clear but that's the best I can explain it.

[Eaquae Legit]

YIKES!!! I'm glad you're OK!

[Dr. Mobius]

Wouldn't that qualify as a hit and run?

[Luet]

I figured this was the best place to put this...

I feel like I got hit by a car, even tho I only ALMOST got hit by a car. I was walking out of Target and a car came around the corner (straight at the store, then turned) and never stopped. I had started walking out from the store because I assumed they would stop at the end of the parking lot lane. I had to contort my body to avoid getting hit and they didn't see me or brake until I was out of the way. Someone witnessed it and thought I had been hit, it was that close. I didn't feel anything until this morning, now my rib cage feels all bruised. It took me awhile to figure out why I was so sore. Stupid people!

[Wil]

You know what they say about assuming, don't you?

Still, that sucks. Good thing you're okay!

[Mich]

Wow, that's horrible. I've been in so many situations like this one where I barely avoided getting hit or someone in my party did get hit that I try oh-so-hard never to give drivers the benefit of the doubt. I've always just assumed that's me being neurotically cautious, though.

You should feel better, NOW.

[Luet]

If the car had been coming from my right or left, I would have been more cautious. But it was coming straight towards the store down a parking aisle, so I wasn't really paying attention to it (plus it was raining). At least if I had gotten hit, it would have been totally their fault since pedestrians always have the right of way in parking lots (in this state).

[Gravity Defier]

*hugs* That's awful, no matter whose fault. I hope your rib cage feels better soon.

[starlooker]

*hugs*

I hope you feel better!

Pedestrians do/should have the right of way! That's horrible.

I hate people who drive like maniacs in parking lots. Hello! The point of a parking lot is that people park their cars and then get out and walk someplace. Which means that driving like a maniac = increased possibility of someone getting hurt.

This used to drive me absolutely bonkers at 7-11. People would cut through the lot (corner store) or drive like they were crazy all the time. I remember one time in particular there was a crazy driver around the same time a little girl left the store with her bag of candy (which, naturally, she was much more focused on than the parking lot traffic) and I just about had a heart attack, though fortunately nothing happened.

ARGH. Idiots.

[Eaquae Legit]

My second-brother-in-law is going to lend me a bike and helmet, and then I can finally, finally get back at it. I got out of work on Tuesday and even though I was tired (I'm not an early mornings sort of person), I really, really wanted to bike home. It would have just capped off the decent morning. I think I got hooked on biking home after a care shift.

[Brian]

Soon I will perfect my motorized skateboard design, and then, to the shop.

[Eaquae Legit]

A bike! A bike!

[Jayelle]

I am moving to a place where exciting things can happen on the way from point A to point B.

MOOSE!!!

Caution: As the province is home to a moose population of over 100,000, do drive slowly and cautiously, especially when driving at night. Moose are attracted to the roads due to the fresh young tree growth along the sides and the open stretches allow them to take a "fog bath". During calf season, moose can be especially aggressive, standing their ground and even challenging people and vehicles, but the most common risk is collision. Remember that hitting a moose is not like hitting a deer-most of its bulk is above the height of the average car's front hood. Your car will hit its legs, knocking the brunt of its 1100 lb+ weight into the windshield and you. This is the last thing you want to have happen to you, and it may well be the last thing that will happen to you! It is for this reason that moose are considered one of the most dangerous animals in North America.

For reference, the population of the city we're moving to (the ONLY city on the island) also is 100,000. That's right, there are as many MOOSE as PEOPLE.

What have I got myself into?

[Janus%TheDoorman]

Soon I will perfect my motorized skateboard design, and then, to the shop.

You mean like these?