My Life in a Literary Agency

[Rei]

Are you allowed to laugh at him when he calls?

J.H.: "Hi, I'm Mr. J. H. and I'm..."

Kelly: *much laughter*

Kelly: *click*

[zeroguy]

I'm a professional linguistics student and, while I love reading, I don't have much interest in publishing and my only knowledge of it comes from this thread.

You know how to fetch coffee, don't you?

[Eaquae Legit]

More productive would be banging HIS head into a wall. Perhaps repeatedly.

[Mahatma]

*strikes forehead violently* DUH. selling, buying; agency, publishing. Makes sense... if I think. (My excuse is that I'm on vacation so I'm not thinking at all.)

But thanks! Sounds weird, but I'm sort of happier being a gofer and filing stuff than doing anything actually important. Probably because I wouldn't know what the hell I'm doing. But I suppose we'll see. My friend, a history major, requested to be in a museum, and they assigned her to the English Speaker's Union. So at least I'm not the only one who feels she doesn't belong.

Hope you get rid of the idiot soon! And, um, this may also be a very stupid question, but why are you terrified of the BEA?

And, zero: yes, and tea too, which is probably better in London anyway.

[Young Val]

Michael, (the slightly sketchy guy who runs the internship program) was supposed to co-agent a project i pulled out of the slush pile that i am in LOVE with.

he just walked away from it.

unless i find someone to co with me, i've got to dump the project. i feel like crying.

[steph]

I love this thread. Just so you know!

[Oliver Dale]

I'm with Steph. This is a great thread.

Also, I love that you love projects and invest yourself in them. And I think you should fight for this one. But I also think that if this doesn't work, it might be a good chance for you to practice your game face. I mean, you're going to do this for real someday, and even though you're going to be wildly successful, you're still not going to be able to sell every brilliant manuscript you love.

There will always be more brilliance.

That wasn't too much like peeing in your cornflakes, was it?

[zeroguy]

That wasn't too much like peeing in your cornflakes, was it?

This is one of the oddest things I've heard all day. Is this a reference to something, or some expression I'm not aware of?

[Rei]

I'm kind of suspecting it's just our plain ol' Ollie.

[Dr. Mobius]

But what does it do...?

[locke]

Do? It doesn't do anything!

[Oliver Dale]

Dude, that's totally, like, a saying, or something.

Seriously, google it and you'll see.

Either that, or my trend-setting superpowers have kicked in and it has just caught on that quickly.

Behold the power of memes.

[starlooker]

When I was growing up, it was, "pissing in your post-toasties."

I kind of prefer that. It has more alliteration.

[Young Val]

Either that, or my trend-setting superpowers have kicked in and it has just caught on that quickly.

a quirk that will totally come in handy when you write a book and i represent you.

[neo-dragon]

Dude, that's totally, like, a saying, or something.

Seriously, google it and you'll see.

I am NOT googling pissing on anything!

[zeroguy]

Dude, that's totally, like, a saying, or something.

Seriously, google it and you'll see.

Only 284 hits. Not very reassuring.

I am NOT googling pissing on anything!

SafeSearch is actually useful for once!

Edit: I don't know if I'll ever look at flake-based breakfast cereals ever again...

[Young Val]

another fun perk about working in a lit agency is how closely tied it is to the movie industry. we just sold film rights this morning for a middle grade that hasn't even come out yet. i just want to know how and when Gaiman manages to be so prolific.

[Jayelle]

*gets very, very excited*

[Young Val]

i think most industries develop their own jargon. you know, waitresses sometimes get weeded. technical designers fill out spec sheets. the publishing industry is no exception. but for people who work with words, we sure do like to abbreviate things...

in the beginning i would literally get emails that i couldn't comprehend, because they were just a bunch of random initials. i have to make a running list so i can learn them all. these are the ones i know:

Running Vocab List

MS = Manuscript
PC = Potential Client
IC = Inactive Client
FOB = Freight on Board
LP = Large Print
D&A = Delivery and Acceptance
UC = USA and Canada
WO = World
PO = Purchase Order
CBOMC = Children's Book of the Month Club
TA = Thereafter
ARC = Advanced Reader Copy
Sub = Submission
UO = Under Option

[Young Val]

by the way... remember Mr. J. H.?


yeah. he just called about his submission.


who owes me $10???

[Young Val]

i hate. hate. HATE subrights. i HATE being in CHARGE of subrights. i HATE forwarding emails back and forth between pub clients and book clubs. something ALWAYS slips through the cracks and no matter WHAT happened it is ALWAYS my fault.

i'm going to be here all night now trying to fix this.

everyone else left work over an hour ago.


god, i could cry.

[Oliver Dale]

Deep breath, and repeat after me:

I rock. I kick ass. This is not a big deal. And everyone else around this hell-hole is a worthless motherfucker that would be lost without me. Oh, and they smell bad too.

[ratesjul]

*points up* what he said.

You do rock.

Every job has a bad point. Every job has days when you want to crawl under a rock and forget the world.
You'll get through it.

[Young Val]

belated thanks for the support, guys.

i survived BEA. more on that later.


i just now sent a company-wide email.


WITH A TYPO IN IT.



i sort of want to die.

[starlooker]

Is it a particularly embarrassing typo or is it simply the idea of having typos at all?

[Dr. Mobius]

Considering her lack of grammar and formatting on here, it's really not too surprising.

[Young Val]

my finger slipped when typing "category" and so there was an r between the e and the g.

nothing terribly unbearable. but :::cringe::: not just a coworker, you know? EVERYONE in the company.


ugh.


that's what brownies are for!

[Young Val]

Considering her lack of grammar and formatting on here, it's really not too surprising.

you know, i won't be upset by that, because it's quite true. (i don't know about the grammar bit, but i do throw out typos with abandon and refuse to use proper capitalization).

the fact of the matter is, i write correctly for a living, as well as for pleasure. i'm a writer, i went to school for writing, i work in the publishing industry, and yes, when i'm online--be it myspace, pweb, IM, livejournal or whatever, i just really can't be bothered to give a f***.

i'd attempt to assure you that my grammar, writing, and use of the English language in general--be it oral or otherwise--is impeccable, but i sort of don't really care to, not to mention that my own posts on this site won't do much to back me up.

in truth, it's my typing skills that need polishing, not my grammar or spelling. i never cared for the "home row" thing, and...


and i just stopped mid-sentence and realized, wow. apparently i did get pretty upset by that.

go figure.

[starlooker]

No kidding.

Dearheart, you don't have to justify yourself or prove yourself. Obviously, you're perfectly capable of using correct grammar. Anyone who's read your posts consistently knows that there is a writing superpower behind (and in the midst of) the uncapitalized letters. We're blessed (not a word I normally use, but it fits) to get to know your informal, conversational writing self.

I want to say something else, but I'm not sure what, so I'm going to end here.

[anonshadow]

^What she said.

It is easy to tell when someone is unable to write properly and when someone just cannot be bothered. You are obviously an example of the latter in your posts on pweb, because capitalization aside, your grammar and vocabulary is generally impeccable.

[Young Val]

:::hugs to both of you girls::: i'm just having a lousy super-sensitive day, that's all. i'm glad you don't think i'm a moron!

my usually lovely office looks like some natural disaster cruised on through it. there is SO much paper and SO many boxes and i feel as though i'll never, ever, ever get through it all. and i know i'll feel compelled to stay late tonight again, because i stay late every night, and it won't even put a dent in my work for tomorrow.

*sigh*


i do love this job, but today i'm just feeling overwhelmed.

[Dr. Mobius]

Yes, I'm well aware of that and would be even you hadn't already mentioned it before. I'm teasing, dork. No need to blow a gasket.

It is a bit strange to me though that someone with such a firm grasp on the English language would be able to just flip it off like a switch like that. I'd think it would be so deeply ingrained in your system that it woud be automatic and you'd do it without even needing to think about it. But whatever.

[Young Val]

no no, i hope i didn't come off as angry at you. i certainly got defensive, but i was mostly mad at myself.

and yeah, believe it or not, i actually TAUGHT myself how to be lax about it. when speaking as well. i used to get teased brutally when i was younger for the way i spoke and wrote to my peers. i actually had to learn how to be "informal" in speech, how to use slang and things like that.

it wasn't really about learning how to switch it on and off. i MADE the switch. now it's just my default mode online.

the same way every time i go back to boston my R's drop, not all the way, but considerably more so than they do when i'm here in new york. it's just the settings i've got for certain places.


anyway, i'm apparently having a hormonal monday or something. i've been all over the place emotionally today.

ignore my insanity.

[Dr. Mobius]

Ah, don't worry about it. You're not the only loony toon around here.

[Oliver Dale]

Considering her lack of grammar and formatting on here, it's really not too surprising.

you know, i won't be upset by that, because it's quite true. (i don't know about the grammar bit, but i do throw out typos with abandon and refuse to use proper capitalization).

the fact of the matter is, i write correctly for a living, as well as for pleasure. i'm a writer, i went to school for writing, i work in the publishing industry, and yes, when i'm online--be it myspace, pweb, IM, livejournal or whatever, i just really can't be bothered to give a f***.

i'd attempt to assure you that my grammar, writing, and use of the English language in general--be it oral or otherwise--is impeccable, but i sort of don't really care to, not to mention that my own posts on this site won't do much to back me up.

in truth, it's my typing skills that need polishing, not my grammar or spelling. i never cared for the "home row" thing, and...


and i just stopped mid-sentence and realized, wow. apparently i did get pretty upset by that.

go figure.

And by this you meant to say, "Blah blah blah, I'm awesome so suck it."

I do find it bizarre, though, that you don't capitalize. I think it has everything to do with typing. I type 100+wpm accurately, and so hitting the shift key while blazing through doesn't pose much of a limitation. So I generally type as correctly as I normally write. If that made any sense.

I actually prefer how you do it; it makes you seems cool, laid-back, and informal. I don't know how many people get a stuffy impression of me based on emails/IMs/posts simply because I mostly use capitalization and full punctuation.