Philotic Web

Dear you,

No, I do NOT want to see your penis on your cell phone. *gags* I fully plan on spreading a rumor that I am a lesbian, now, so you'll leave me alone.

- Not impressed.

Isn't that borderline on the criminal offense?

That's kinda what I was wondering...

I thought it was a criminal offense unless he asked if you wanted to see on then thats....maybe still against the law.

I'm not going to press charges; it was just super awkward and gross...

Yeeeaaaahhh... How NOT to impress a lady...

Step one: Undress
Step two:take out phone
Step three: .......
Step four:send

Step five: PROFIT!

Dear You,

That's it. I don't know what the hell you thought you were doing today. I don't know how you think of women or relationships, or whatever it is you call this crazy bullshit you think is normal. And f*** you for making me a part of it.

Dear you,

Today for nearly the first time in a week, I went to a place I had never been to with you--and it is one of my favorite places so I am so glad you haven't ruined it, like you've ruined half of San Francisco and half of this town. It was so nice to be free of our memories and your presence and your eyes, and god, your smile. The way you used to look at me like there was no one else in the room. Except when she was there.

And you chose her. I knew I was losing to her for the last 5 damn years and I never made the plays that meant I could have won.

And I was beginning to think I had stopped caring so much about that.

Dear you,

You were wrong. I woke up with Toni Basil's "Mickey" stuck in my head.

This is probably the worse situation.

-The Boss

Dear you,

Welcome back. This place wasn't the same without you.

-JL

Dear you,

What she^ said.

love,
me


Dear you,
I really never thought you would go this far. I know you are mentally ill. I know you blame mom and I for talking you into going to the hospital during your manic episode. I know you have pulled away from us because of all of that. But you had to know what you being friends with HIM would do to me. I don't care if your wife is friends with his wife. The old you would never have done this to me. You know a small part of what he did to me but that should be enough. I have always done anything to help you and protect you. You are breaking my heart.

love,
your sister

Dear god,

Please put me out of my future misery.

Dear you,

Happy 3rd anniversary. I love you!

Love,
Me

Dear Texas,

What digs with that whole seperation of church and state?! Why does the person who officiates my wedding have to be an ordained minister of some religion? I'm not getting married in a church!

Dear You,

You are f****** kidding me. I knew I moved out of that state for a reason.

Former Texan

Upon further digging, it could also apparently be a judge. However, I don't want to just head over to the courthouse and be like "Anybody free Sept 17, 2011? I'm looking for an officiant!"

Really, I want my Uncle Paul to officiate. Stupid Texas.

I love a lot of things about this state, but that is not one of them. (We're thinking about doing a BBQ buffet at the reception as our homage to one of the best things about Tx. I wound consider mexican food, but the best man hates melted cheese... which is seriously weird and must be sign of some kind of horrible underlying personality defect.)

A friend of mine wanted his older brother to officiate and so the brother got ordained through some online website, just so he could do the wedding. If you really want your Uncle Paul to officiate and neither of you objects to being ordained in some made up religion just for that purpose, you could look into it.

You can also do the official signing of papers and stuff the day before (or the morning of) at the courthouse, and then have whoever you want officiate the actual ceremony.

/that'swhatwealmostdid

That's basically what my sister is doing, because despite our uncle being a minister, he's not licensed in BC.

Dear You,

Hopefully you got to Colorado safely, and I hope you enjoy your time there!

Wil

Dear Everyone,

Made it safe and sound to Newfoundland. Free Wifi in the hotel. Lots of furniture to buy today. Too much pweb to read!! How will I ever get caught up?
I'll be online for good soon, very soon.

Jayelle

Dear you,

Glad you made it. Have fun shopping!

nom

Hurrah! Take photos! Share updates of your adventures!

Yay! I will give you a few weeks, tops, and then I have a thread to bump for you...assuming I remember then. Someone remind me to bump the "How do you survive where you live?" thread when she's had time to figure it out some.

Dear you,

We talk nearly every day and sometimes I forget. You apologize for going to bed and not being able to talk longer and say we'll work something out for dinner this weekend if I can make it the 3 hours to you. And we're so nice to each other and everything is oh so funny and we're such good friends. It works out that everyone I've ever had an emotional bond with and have strong feelings for is just a too close friend and anyone I've kissed is someone I can give up in an hour.

And that makes it so much harder when I remember. ****.

Dear SoCal Girl ^,

On Monday, October 11th, I will be stranded in your county (downtown area) and free to hang out from ~11:45AM until 8:00PM. I can quite easily fill that time with family but I would like to fill some of that with you, if you're available. I'm giving you super-advanced warning in case that increases my chances of convincing you to hang out with me for even a little bit.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Wildcat^,

Baring any large and unforeseeable upheaval in my schedule, I will be in downtown for the beginning of that time frame as well for volunteer work & *should* be able to hang out after.


Dear You,

Texting you and walking the grounds where I ran into you again after 3 years was kind of intense. I still find it bizarre you go and hang out where she works during Happy Hour, but before & after, you're on AIM with me. Whatever, this is not my problem, if it is a problem, it is yours.

Dear Me,

In case you're interested, law professor Sasha Volokh and historian Paul Hyams are looking for papers on medieval legal history for the Kalamazoo conference.

Sincerely,
You

Dear old me,

Looking back, I laugh at all the worries you had about small talk, after that one pre-college event with your future college peers.
I don't know, maybe you didn't manage any good small talk then because it was so hard to hear in there....?

However, in the future; while in the moment; you will have no problem talking to new people. You will literally be able to go to lunch, ask random people if they mind if you sit at there table, introduce yourself, and strike up a decent coversation with them. Sometimes, you'll even have brilliant moments of humor and make them laugh. There is no need to worry outside of the moment. It all comes naturally.

lol I laugh at how you overanalyze things, like small talk, when not doing it. But, who knows, maybe the "practice" you did talking to strangers on Omegle actually helped you out. lol

Sincerely,
you from the future.

(now, according to Physics, if I run fast enough, I can travel through time-maybe to the past? Maybe I'll pull a futurama and travel so far into the future I go to the past?)

Dear You,

*hugs* I wish I could do something, even something as simple as a real hug. Since I can't, same as always. Always.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear You,

Try to get some sleep tonight.

~me

Dear you,

I apologize for coming across as pushy and a bit "I can't believe you didn't know that already" about some aspects of graduate school funding. But you know I do this for your best interest and I expect you to get on my case if I start slacking too, slacker. Also, drop modern german lit, you're kidding yourself if you think that the time you spend in that class is worth something and you should spend it working on your apps instead since you've read nearly all the books already.


M

Dear You,

GRRRR. What kind of an outfit are you running here? It's a repossessed car! What do you mean you have to get in touch with the owner who you have not been able to get in touch with in two days? My fiance's car is a paperweight, my car can't sit at a red light without stalling, I have to WORK, you know, so don't have unlimited time to sit at the bank and do paperwork, what the f***? Get the Mafia involved or whatever, find the moron, and sell me the car!

Your Loyal(ish) Customer