Dear You 2.0

[Mich]

Dear You,

I know how important it is to you, and how exciting it is, and how proper you always feel you need to be, but referring to every single person in your e-mail as "Elder" this and "Elder" that only serves to annoy and frustrate me, especially when you use it in the third person. Most of the people you refer to are people I've known, just like you, since elementary school, so both of us would call them by their first name in normal context. So stop it. For serious.

Love the e-mails,
Jeff

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
This is horrible of me, I know it, but f*** you and all that bullshit you spouted off to me April 2nd. We're not like family and you won't always be there for me. Those were just nice words to say because, I don't know, you felt sorry for me. Because you should know, better than them, that I didn't do anything morally wrong...to distinguish that I understand now I broke some laws and district rules. All of you are weak. Every single one of you who has told me you care, only to ignore every single attempt I've made to even just say 'hello.' Talk about kicking someone when they're down.

Just please, don't wish me all the best or ask how I am or anything at all. They're empty words to me. Your actions don't match the sentiments.

Alea

[zeroguy]

Dear Alea,

Hey, any other night and I'm here. And we talk sometimes... Like, say, now.

-zero

This also made me realize... mods: there are some PMs to/from Alea I can't seem to read anymore. Would this be related to the, uh, deletings-from-a-certain-time-period thing?

[Virlomi]

Dear You,

That you have every right to be disappointed is so obvious that it kind of feels ridiculous to even type out. I'm disappointed in myself. Because the thing is, if there was one point of genuine pride I had held in myself, it used to be in this. In my ability to stick by people, in staying in things, in following through on my end of the friendship bargain. All of that is completely laughable now, and I'm disappointed in myself for that. I never thought I would do something like this.

You didn't let me down. You didn't get old, or annoying, or obnoxious.

I just got overwhelmed and I ran. It's screwy logic, but in my head it was easier to maintain 20 marginal, less significant relationships than it was to balance two or three really substantial ones.

I know I've said all of this before. It doesn't sound any more logical the more often I type it out. I feel like making "I Survived Hurricane Janelle" tee shirts.

It was s*****, and it was damn cowardly. I feel like a jerk even asking you to forgive me.

There's really nothing you've said that I don't agree with. What I did was wrong. Avoiding it and attempting to just put it off until I had some magic bolt of superhuman strength to face it was stupid. And I know I've been cowardly. I hate it. It feels like wearing someone else's skin. It doesn't fit well, it's ugly as hell, and it's damn itchy. Excuse the bad metaphor. Point is that you do know me. And what's more, I know me, and this doesn't fit that person.

I'm sorry.

I think that's really what I've been avoiding. Not dreading apologizing, because it's been aching inside of me for months and months, but dreading how paltry and flimsy that sounds. I hate that there is no stronger word to say.

I didn't want to just write that out here, I wanted to call you. I've picked up the phone at least 5 times in the last month to call you. But in characteristically idiotic style, I got a new phone back in January and lost your number, and I've searched through every old email and chat to see if you might have written it down for me at one point but I can't find it. So I'm writing this here instead, because sending it privately felt like a cop out.

I've loved watching you happy, by the way. I've loved photos, and catching bits of stories. I'm so happy for you to have created such a lovely new season of life. It is lovely, and I'm thrilled for you. There is no one who deserves happiness more. And I want you to have complete freedom and release to enjoy it without any sort of lasting sting or bitterness or sourness from this to taint it. I would love to be a part of that new life in some way, but I know that that's asking a lot. At any rate, whether or not you accept my apology, I hope I can at least give you resolution enough to be at peace. I would love a phone call, or a cup of coffee, but I would completely understand if you just wanted to close this and move on.

I miss you.

Janelle

[Gravity Defier]

Dear Yous,
Please, please stop trying to help because your good intentioned actions are royally screwing me over emotionally. I am depending on you for a place to stay, so I understand you have some say and a strong desire in my getting a job ASAP. But what about all that stuff you said about me being happy? If that's really the goal, does it matter so much if it takes a bit longer to find it? Because I really don't want to rush into these interviews with companies you submitted my resume to and if I actually do manage to sell myself, I don't want to work somewhere doing something that doesn't give me any satisfaction. I know it's early for me to say whether or not I'd like the job, but can't you just trust that my initial gut reaction was not a pleasant, jumping for joy type but rather a dreading and a desire to just give in to what seems like the inevitable fact that I am not really allowed to be happy? I hate this city, I hate my financial dependency, and I hate the path my life is currently taking.

I feel like I'll never really grow up and be my own person. Just let go of the reigns, let me make my mistakes and learn from them and I'll be a much better person for it. I'm not you, I don't want to live to fix your regrets and missed opportunities. All you do is make me feel bad for not wanting what you want for me.

Or keep controlling it and making decisions for me. Your choice, I guess. I'm just going along for the ride because I'm a pushover and a sucker.

-Your daughter/sister-in-law/step-daughter-

ETA:
Dear you three,
I fear you now think less of me and that makes it really hard to feel completely at ease in your presence. I'd try to tell myself I'm making too much out of your silence, but I've actually had quite the fallout in the group of people I'd befriended in the last two years- their choice, not mine- so it's not unreasonable of me to jump to that conclusion.
Worried,
P_G

[VelvetElvis]

Dear you,

I think that I might miss you.

-me

[ender1]

Dear you,

I'm sorry

Me

[Dr. Mobius]

Dear you,

As a former member, I'd like to welcome you to the triple digit club.

Sure took your sweet time, didn't you?

- Doc

[ender1]

Dear you,

As a former member, I'd like to welcome you to the triple digit club.

Sure took your sweet time, didn't you?

- Doc

Slow and steady wins the race.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear current and future Pweb Mothers,
Happy Mother's Day!

[wizzard]

Dear you,

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you realize what you're putting her through, all because you refuse to accept that she's an adult, that she can think for herself, and make decisions for herself. If you're going to support her, then support her. If not, tell her she's on her own. Instead, you're stalling, and making vague promises, then going back on them. You're trying to force her into making the decision that you've decided is best.

Don't you realize that she hates it there? Don't you realize how much this means to her? This should be an incredibly happy day, but instead you've made her life (and mine) hell for the past 3 days. Please just go away and die now.

-Incredibly pissed off me

[Eaquae Legit]

Dear yous,

I'm sorry I'm not a better friend.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,

[Gravity Defier]

*double post*


Dear you,
So...Saturday you're leaving the dorklings for the nerds, huh? Can I be maybe too honest and say I can't believe you're getting married before me? I don't mean it that way, really I don't. You're a good guy and you deserve this, and I'm not sure I even want to get married to anyone anymore so it's not like I wanted to beat you to the altar. I guess it just feels like it'll erase the past while simultaneously feeling like I'm losing you again, in a different and more important way than the first time. To clarify, I mean that in a friendly, non-romantic way if you were getting scared there. Geez, I really am pretty horrible saying all of that, you know.

Here's all that I should say: Congratulations. I'm really very happy that you're so happy. I wish you both the very best.

-Alea

Dear you,
Seriously, shut the hell up for even just one little day for the love of all that is holy.

-Yourself

[Wil]

Dear You, Above Me:

If I.. understand correctly.. and even if I don't... I probably don't.. but:

I think I speak for everyone when I say: You just go right on ahead and continue to post your heart out! I don't think anyone here would complain if you posted even MORE!

-- Wil

Dear Yourself,

You really feel stupid when you go back and read past posts don't you? Yeah you do.

Also, quit being mad about those posts from others. Seriously. It's done and over. No reason to be mad anymore! Forgettahboutit!

-- Me

Dear Every-you,

Don't read any of my past posts in this tread. They're really dumb.

*whistles* LOOK OVER THERE! *points away from thread* OMG IS THAT BAMBI?! HOSHIT IT IS! *points again* OMG BAMBIIIIIIIIIII~~~~~

[zeroguy]

Dear you,

Stop being afraid of me, for f****** sake. At the moment, that is the only negative trait I am seeing in you. You wanna talk to me, talk to me and stop worrying. I'll say something if you get annoying.

-me

[Borommakot_15]

Dear You,

I had a dream, the other night. More like a nightmare. I dreamt that my computer got a virus. Yes, that is what geeks dream of. Anyway, the bad part was that this virus turned my computer into a Mac. No, it isn't a joke. I really did have that nightmare.

~Dan

Dear You,

Where did you go? I haven't seen you, all day..

~Dan

Dear You,

I wanted to say, in a form that you could come back and read again and again.. you do not disappoint me. I miss you, to be sure.. but, talking to you every day would not likely eliminate that. I also wanted to tell you that you made my day, if not my week.

~Dan

Dear You,

I am very disappointed that you did not answer my message. You have no idea.

~Dan

Dear You,

Please remember.. "What must be endured can be endured." and.. "Everything is okay, in the end. If it is not okay, than it is not the end." Many hugs and much love..

~Dan

Dear You,

I have saved them up, instead of posting one every two or three days. Are you happy, now? Yes, you who must not be named... are you happy?

~Borommakot_15

[zeroguy]

Dear you,

Please stop your incessant babbling. Your constant pathetic presence here not only degrades the quality of our once-treasured community, but begins to encroach upon the quality of life itself. You add nothing of value, and while here do nothing even for yourself except attempt to attract the pity of others with no motive I can fathom other than filling a void caused by some twisted malady of your psyche. Should you persist in your vacuous spewing, I fear that mayhap you shall alienate the more endearing aspects or even specific persons of this electronic locality with your depressing existence. It will become a desolate barren, the intellectual stimulus once provided here will be no more, the lives of OSC fans will go less fulfilled, the fabric of reality will degrade, and even Hitler will rise from the dead and resume his horrific campaign.

So, to answer your question: yes. Yes I would.

-me

tl;dr for the *chan-inclined:

Dear you,

Become an hero.

-me

[Wil]

Dear You,

While what you have written is very lovely on the eyes and shows your excellence with the written English langage, I do wish to say to you:

STFU OR GTFO



Love,
Wil

Dear You,

Ignore what he says. >.>

Wil

[zeroguy]

Dear you,

YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

-me

[Wil]

SIR,
NO SIR. I DO NOT THINK IT IS FUNNY AT ALL, SIR!

[human.]

Dear You,

I'm too tired to talk to you directly, but I don't understand what happened. I thought things were getting better? I just want you to be happy and at least indifferent, if not content, with me now. I can try to show you I've changed, but I don't know that you'd believe me. If it means anything, I've been in a good relationship for six months now. I'm trying.

Human.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
I am quite literally sick to my stomach over this, but I won't tell you because you have enough to worry about right now. I just thought that meant something, you know? After 11 years, you're part of the family practically, so please trust that I'll do everything in my power -which admittingly isn't much at all outside of listening when you want to talk- to help you out. My heart goes out to all of you, especially S.

Do me a favor, okay? I know what it's like to not want to eat because of high amounts of stress, but you know more than anyone that you and I are not in the same condition. You need to eat, so you had better eat or I'll find a way back to kick your butt and shove food down your throat. Because I care.

Another thing, please don't shut any of us out. I won't pry, but I demand to be involved.

Love,
Alea

[Eddie Pinz]

Dear you,

I think that we are going to be alright. I know the past couple months haven't been good. I am getting my life straight right now. I know that you are going thourgh some s*** right now. But I am not going anywhere. I know you need time, but I am going to be there for you. I think this weekend was really good for us and we are going to be in a better spot when all is said and done.

Love,
stupid

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
Listen to me. I mean it, listen to every single word I am about to say. There are a few things you need to do for your own good and you know this, but somewhere along the way, you let yourself believe that you were a real piece of s***. You couldn't be more wrong. Now stop reading this for long enough to really let it sink in.

Before I start, be forewarned that I feel and think in terms of music (usually "bad" pop music...get over it, already), so this will be littered with lyrics.

Lesson number one: Get it through your thick head that we all make mistakes. There isn't a single person you know who can claim otherwise. You simply cannot cling to "If I had..."s and "If I hadn't..."s.

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over

You are by far your own worst enemy. Sometimes I think you hate yourself and I struggle so hard, trying to find evidence to prove I'm wrong. Here, remember this:

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Lesson number two: Contrary to what you let yourself believe, you DO NOT need anyone else to be happy.

Corny as sin and cliché to boot, you need to learn to be happy with yourself. I am well aware that you so often pride yourself in being okay with being alone, but you know as well as I do that you're full of s***. Take the time to love yourself enough to mean it when you say you're fine on your own. Idly passing the time by filling it with meaningless activities is not the same as enjoying time by yourself...you're really just waiting for someone to come along and rescue you from yourself. Newsflash: You're no damsel in distress.

'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy, you're writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like

Lesson number three: Quit worrying so much about making other people happy. This life is entirely too short to live for anyone but yourself. f*** 'em all. Let them be satisfied with having the privilege of giving you their opinion, but remember to trust yourself enough to do what you want.

Stop the messin' around [girl]
Better think of your future
Better make some good plans [girl]
Said every one of my teachers
Look out, you better play it safe
You never know what hard times will come your way

Lesson number four: Realize that you actually are an awesome person. I know this will make you uncomfortable, but I think that just goes to show you need to pay particular attention to it. Because lists are the awesome possum, I give you my Reasons You Are Awesome list.
*You are caring, almost to a fault.
*You are smart. (I know you don't believe me there, but it's true)
*You are (disgustingly) loyal.
*You are honest and sincere.
*You are brave.
*You are hard working.
*You are persevering.
*You are funny.
When you feel like s***, like you did tonight, keep that in mind. Maybe most people have a hard time recognizing that about you because you keep them at a distance. So the f*** what. It doesn't matter if they know.

Lesson number five: If you are ever in a place that makes you feel like you're worth less than you are, it's time to move on. End of story. Move on. If people are ignoring you, move on. If people are stepping all over you, move on. That includes LJ/Facebook/myspace/AIM/etc.

Can I just say, I'm proud of you? You've come a long way, even if you don't believe me. I look forward to seeing where you go from here.

Take care. You may be lonely, but you are not alone; people will help you and be there for you if you just let them (just don't let them be your crutch).

Oh! Wrapping up here, I swear on it. Don't forget to open that letter on June 1st. That's been a year in the making.

All my love, unconditionally,
Y.V.O.S.

[zeroguy]

Dear you,

Hee hee, "cuss".

-me

[Wil]

Dear Weezer,

You are awesome. If you got any more awesome I think the universe would implode.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=muP9eH2p2PI

Seriously. f****** EPIC.

Wil

[zeroguy]

Not bad. I recognized a surprisingly large number of memes. Needs more Adventure Time, though (and less 'Charlie the unicorn', gah).

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
Just wanted to say thank you for those links. Truthfully, I never made it past the first one but it gave me a fun way to pass the time. I went through all the rounds in one sitting yesterday.

*hugs and love*
Alea


Dear lead singer of Brand New,
You have got to have the sexiest voice I've ever heard in the first 54 seconds of that song. Seriously. *hits repeat*
Not really a fan, just a person who likes that song

[VelvetElvis]

Dear You,
I don’t know what to tell you that will make you happy. N works. D works. You work. I work. K is almost unreachable. You may not realize how busy S is. He works on Wednesdays, he’s not there for his health. He has things to do within the congregation and at home. He does have a toddler and another baby on the way, after all. It’s hard to get schedules together. No one is doing or has done anything-- singly or collectively-- to spite you or to sabotage the effort. I understand that you feel angry at the situation, but I wish you wouldn’t direct your frustration at me. We may need to consider the possibility that the reason things aren’t coming together is that we aren’t working within God’s timing. If that is the case, far be it from us to try to push this through. If it is in God’s will that this thing goes through by the tenth, then things will come together, please do not doubt that. Never doubt that God has the power to accomplish seemingly impossible things within His will.
What IS my excuse, according to you? When has the lack of practice ever been about me, expect when I had another practice at that time, and when my sister had her baby? Because I am the one who brought up that certain people cannot practice on certain days? I am not arguing about practice, I am simply trying to get you not to be so worked up about it.
In an that is neither here nor there in our discussion, I like choir. I don't always want to go, but on the whole I like it.
I also wasn't saying that S wouldn't. I was saying that you should not get your heart set on it, in the likely case that he couldn't.
It is awesome. It is powerful. I never said God's timing was my timing. I never mentioned my timing, at all, and have been supportive both to you and other members of the group about the deadline. I'm sorry that I have not made my spport overt anough for you to be confident in it. I never assumed you hadn't considered that it may not be God's timing. But I did have to bring it up, because I wasn't going to assume you had, either, since that would be a grievous error. B, please do not let the sun go down on you anger. We need to fix this, and staying silent isn't fixing it. Listen to my side, for I am listening to yours.

WRT your comment about my attitude, I will not attempt to show you that my attidude has not been bad. You have decided already in your heart that it has been. I will tell you that I am very hurt by that comment. I don't think you know how much.

(Still) Love,

me

[Virlomi]

Dear You,

That makes me sad. I know it doesn't mean anything... but just for the record, I wish I could throw you a babyshower myself. Everyone should feel special on such a big event... and you certainly are special and you certainly are known, valued, and loved. Even if we can't throw you a shower to tell you so.

Just, you know... for the record.

[Jayelle]

Dear you(s),

Aw. Thanks. I appreciate the thoughts. I think I'm mostly just feeling hormonal, but it's nice to know people care. This baby stuff is stressful.

JL

[Young Val]

Dear You,

Looking lyrics up online almost always leads to mondogreens.

I shine uncovered

Although, to be fair, I misquoted that same song in my profile last summer. Just a different verse.

-Kel


p.s. That whole album is perfect. You should listen to it.

[Virlomi]

Yeah... thought that was a little weird.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear you,
You're right about the patience. I don't think I have it, either. Oh, PM me back, dork. I actually have no desire to play by myself on that. It's a fear thing. Ha.

-Me

Dear you,
Thanks, missy, for finally opening up about it. I know, I know...we've only hugged twice in the past 11 years and we only say we love each other if we can play it off as some sort of joke...but I really do love you and really want to help, so thanks for making me feel useful. God, I know I'm selfish and horrible, thinking of me at a time like this for you. But trust me, you're awesome and this is going to get better with time. Maybe. Okay, I don't believe that one. You'll have the reminders. But life goes on, so try to enjoy it in between all those reminders.

-The other fish, biting...you know how it goes

Dear You,
I've thought about what you said, for almost two months. No. I don't want you to help me with that or anything really if you can't really let me in. Somehow prove to me that anyone at all in your life knows what a big part of it I was for all those years or get used to lowly acquaintance status. Ha. What a threat, right? Not really, but I still had to say it.

-Me

Dear you,
Happy two month anniversary. Still can't believe it, can you?

-Yourself