Dear You 2.0

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

Why are you stalking my facebook? Alright, fine, stupid question. The more pertinent question is why would you click "like" on a concert event I'm going to? I mean, if you could even name a single song by that artist I might not think anything of it; but let's be honest here, you clicking that link had nothing to do with the event to which it referred.

Does your jealousy know no bounds? Does your insecurity really rule over you like this?

Yeah, I commented on Karen's status, it was related to one of my favorite TV shows. No, I never have yours, but the truth is it's never updated and, as with most people on my facebook, never anything I can relate to. Yeah, apparently she likes the concert, which I'll admit came as a bit of a surprise to me. Not a big one, though, because it's her son, who used to be my best friend, who turned me on to the band in the first place, 15 years ago.

Can you please just...come to me for me once. Talk to me for me. Stop trying to latch on to me for you. Every time I see you, talk to you, hear from you, it's all...for you. I know if I said this to you you'd fight it, say it's because you care, and I know that's partly true. I mean, I know you care, but I also know that how you act now, and maybe how you've always acted, is really in your own self interest, for your own self esteem. I feel it. I feel it when you call me, and we spend 20 minutes on the phone talking about the frustrating train service, how much fun you had at some church event, or other insignificant events in your life. I feel you calling me because you want to share, because you want to socialize, and less and less because I'm your son.

I'm having a hard enough time finding my own self esteem without providing you with yours. Besides, isn't this relationship supposed to go the other way?

--Cam

[Wil]

Dear You,

So, I sent you a message at the recommendation of a mutual friend. They told me that it is in fact a guys job to essentially "cut through the bullshit". I sent the message without knowing if or even when you would read it, if it would in fact "cut through the bullshit" or just make things worse, and under the assumption that if you did read it you wouldn't reply.

It just so happens that I was talking to this mutual friend when you called them. Called them to speak to them about the message I sent you. I find it highly amusing that you think you don't act any differently around me. I also get kind of a kick out of knowing that you thought it significant enough to talk to someone else about it, but you do not (care enough? to) talk to me about it.

Assuming you don't reply, I guess we'll just have to see if what I said makes you act more rationally. If not, I think I'm going to have one hell of a fun time messing with you.

Wil

Dear You,

I know you're just trying to help, but you're not. Telling me that they "don't deserve me", that they are "not good enough for me", and that I will "find someone better" doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. Quite honestly, I think it is my decision to decide who is worthy of me, and if they are good enough for me or not.

Though, I really do appreciate you putting up with my drama. Though it isn't as much drama as you claim.

Wil

[megxers]

Dear you,

I always kind of knew she'd win, even when she had that boy friend. She chose your school over mine. And then I chose moving to the farthest major city point away on the west coast. And you're still there, and you're losing sight of all the things that made me like you anyways. She seems to not really want to be with you, like actually date you, or do anything but tease you or who knows what, I don't want to know. And you know what, I don't care if I sound bitter to say, HAH. It might be your fault its 3:30 am and I have work in who knows how many hours and I want to wake up before to work out but I am listless and frustrated and my plans keep coming in and out of focus. Because I've got to work on things for me. And you'll text me, at like noon or maybe 3 pm. And maybe I'll respond. We had this same fight nearly 3 years ago, I don't know why I thought anything had changed. Maybe because you still want me to say I'll visit you, or that I'll move with you somewhere. Well, no.

[Jayelle]

Dear you(s),

I love you all. I want to kiss you on your little newbie faces. This place was getting dead and now it's having a bit of a spike. I love it.
You, as always, have renewed my cycles theory. Perhaps it's a spiral instead of a cycle, but it goes around nonetheless.
I don't care if you're annoying, I don't care if you're confrontational. As long as you don't break the rules, I want to kiss you on your little newbie faces.

Love,
J to the L

xoxo

PS. This is not sarcasm. I feel like it might be taken that way, but it's not. It's just over the top.

[neo-dragon]

Dear you,

Are you mad at me?

[human.]

Dear you..

Please don't respond to that message I sent to you! It was just a joke and you should not respond because that would be bad... Forget about it! It's okay! Joking.. I can't talk to you right now.. I don't trust what I would do with the situation I'm currently in.. And you would just be so suave and chill and all "I could see myself spending my life with you" again.. And that's scary.. So! Just ignore me! Like you usually do.. Except you usually respond to me at least once.. you just never initiate anything.. So.. forget that I sent that, please!

Freaking out,
Me.

And You,

I know I generally tell you that you don't disappoint me, but this.. This is disappointing. You're not even TRYING. Trying.. That means making an attempt.. It's okay if you don't do well, it's okay if you succeed. But not trying just tells me I'm not important enough for you to be there for me when I need you. I'm SO insecure right now, because of you. Because I asked you to be there for me last time I was so scared, and you blatantly refused to. You just ignored me.. And now, that I've finally gotten the courage to tell you how that made me feel.. you're not even going to attempt to help me? I even told you how.. You asked me how. you said you wanted to. When I told you, you just said you couldn't. You didn't even think about trying.. You just said you couldn't. It's not even a challenge. I feel very.. unhappy about this. Tomorrow, I shall be indifferent. Monday, I'll just tell you to forget it until the next time it happens. Sigh. I hate cycles. On the plus side, typing this was relieving.

Me.


And now that I'm thinking a bit more clearly, though still highly emotionally charged..

You,

Stop resenting me, please? I'm younger than you are by some years.. You should think I'm cute, not hate me.. You change the subject when I get too much attention. You subtly insult me--though a few people catch it! You're pretty, but you make yourself out not to be through the way you dress, the way you act so hostile and so intolerant, the subjects you choose to make public. If you don't like that I take pride in my image, my intelligence, my lack of intelligence, my clumsiness, my flirtatiousness (which I always attempt to blatantly indicate that there are no intentions behind, although you won't believe me), if you don't like the confidence I have in myself, then I think you're a mean person, honestly. I am, too, so it's not a terrible thing.

But you aren't successful in the relationships you create with people because you make yourself out to be intolerant and unsociable. That's NOT my fault. I used to be exactly like that. Then I changed. If you want something better, then change. "But I won't change because I am an individual, not a conformist!" An individual is happy with who they are. You obviously aren't happy with who you are, so change until you find a who you are that you are happy and content to live with.

I once took this "How punk are you quiz?" (Don't judge me, I was 14!) And one of the questions asked you to choose which statement best applied to you. "A-I like to follow trends and do what I see other people doing. B-I am different because I want to be different. C-I am different because I do what I think I should do." Now, of course, the correct answer was obviously C, which I put; however, I first selected B before I read C. B was really how I felt. "I'm different because I want to be different. I want to stand out. I want to be someone other people will not be similar to so I can be the only one." I feel like sometimes, that's what you do.. You ally yourself with the people who are opposite of the people who are most like you..

But then again, you know yourself better than I do. Anyway, I just really don't do well with your insults, both verbal and nonverbal, and I'd appreciate if you at least toned them down some.

Thanks, anyway.

Me.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,

I wondered these past few days what it was I was going to say to you when I saw you today. I racked my brain, hoping to find something to report...some deep-seated hurt or anger that was recently relevant, some question I had that perhaps only you could answer. I had nothing.

Please don't misunderstand. I'm not "all better" or "cured" or any other term that implies I've beaten my inner demons. To suggest as much is laughable.

But I'm somewhat better. On my way to a healthier mental me. A lot of that, quite a bit of that is because of going to see you.

I know I could continue, even with the part where my employer covers for me over. It's not a money issue; if there's anything I've learned and am clinging to with a ferocity I rarely feel for things concerning myself, it's that I am worth taking care of. Small things, like buying the soap and lotion I want, spending a morning on one of my days off doing things that make me feel prettier even if they're not altogether the girliest or most intensive things I could do, eating X amount of fruits for lunch and making myself eat something for breakfast, exercising...but bigger things, too, or at least more difficult things like starting to see you.

It's more a matter of this being something of a trial run. You were helpful and there when I most needed an outsider in my life. But I messed up with you, made some mistakes that I couldn't figure out how to undo. That's okay, I'm allowed to mess up, but I need to work on the solution now.

That means I need to spend some time putting the mistakes down on paper, asking myself why I felt the need to make them and then honestly answer it, so that I can tell this to the next person and make them hold me accountable.

You were good for a first time. I'll find better and I'll be better. It's that knowledge that makes me so optimistic.

Thanks, again.

Alea

[locke]

Dear you,

I wish you could understand, but you didn't grow up where getting sick might mean losing the house, or at the very least a car. you didn't grow up not going to the dentist because it wasn't covered by the pitiful health insurance your parents occasionally had. Or if they did have it, the nearest dental provider that accepted the insurance was ninety miles or further away, and they couldn't afford to miss work to go during monday to friday and that dentist wasn't open saturdays. You didn't grow up hearing your mom lie, saying that she just didn't like doctors, as the most common excuse for why none of the families ever went to the doctor unless it was the emergency room. You didn't grow up thinking the emergency room was going to the doctor. Where your parents worried for months about how to pay for stitches. You don't have friends with pre-existing conditions who lost their jobs and now can never get health insurance ever again because of those conditions and who probably won't be hired if their jobs find out about the conditions because hiring them would cause every one else at that company's rates to be raised. No instead you think all of the above is a-ok, and changing any of that is unamerican and evil and that republicans are doing the right thing by making sure that its acceptable to deny health insurance for preexisting conditions, that its acceptable for health insurance to be ever further out of reach for the poor plebians like my family, who also all oppose health insurance reform because its an evil democrat plan. Like you, they don't know anything about the details of the plan, they just oppose it on principle, even though it would help them on every level imaginable, and would save them money and not cost them more (i did the research and the math on that, they stand to benefit a lot from this). Just because there are millions of people like them who are both scared of change and scared by the right wing propaganda mustered against reform doesn't mean that those millions are right. They are ignorant and it's a shame we're letting ignorance get in the way of much needed, deficit neutral, cost lowering, coverage increasing reform.

Dear you,
I just canceled my health insurance, I'm going to do what my parents did and rely on the taxpayer funded universal health care known as the emergency room. I paid off a lot of debt when I was uninsured before, and I'm not going skiing this year (the only reason I had insurance was because I went skiing).

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

What goes on in your brain to think combining 3 boxes of Kraft Dinner for yourself was a good idea? I mean, I get it if you're really that hungry, but leftovers? Maybe your tastes are different than mine, but I can't imagine leftover KD ever being worth it, especially when it only takes 15 minutes to make it.

Moving on from that, are you not familiar with the use of garbage receptacles? Empty boxes on top of the fridge, the ripped-off tops on the counter, somehow equidistant from the garbage bin so prominently placed out in the open. I'm nervous about the coming summer. If you don't have school and no longer have home to go back to, I just might end up strangling you for constantly leaving a trail of destruction behind you.

Before that happens I'm raising your rent, though. There is no way I'm paying a majority share of the apartment AND cleaning up after your ass.

--me

[Wil]

Dear You,

Conflicting emotions are strange.

On one hand, I find it funny that you acknowledge your lack of ass by saying you hope it gets bigger. That's the opposite of what you usually hear from women.

On the other hand, I find it kind of annoyingly painful that when someone tags your ass in a photo you leave it, but when I tag a picture of you holding your baby cousin, of which you have other pictures, you remove it. It wasn't a bad picture, in fact I'm certain you would like it, and it's a better picture than the one you already have, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you removed it because I posted it. It hurts that you seem to dislike me so much.

On my third hand ( ), I still really like you. You would think that what with all the s*** you do, that would go away. Goddamn attraction, go away.

Wil

[Confessions]

Dear You,

No!!! Shut the f*** up! What did you message me for? I so did not accept your friend request, in case you didn't notice. That was a not-so-subtle hint that means "I don't want to keep in touch." Not anything personally against you, of course, but I can't go around accepting friend requests from people from that time period of my life. It's dangerous. I know, I know, we used to be best friends. So f****** what? The last time we communicated as friends was about four years ago, maybe more. And the fact is, we haven't been best friends for more than seven years now. It happens, people grow apart, and neither of us cares that much. You don't care that much, you're just contacting me for old times' sake. Well, I want to forget old times, and alienate the vast majority of people from said old times. Not you specifically, but accepting your friend request opens the door to many, many others. I can't have that.

Now I'm going to have to explain an abbreviated, milder version of this to you. The upside: it'll make you believe I'm so strange now, that keeping in touch is not advisable. Maybe that's true.

-me

[megxers]

Dear you,

I hope you realize that if I really wanted to see you, I would be going to Santa Barbara rather than Portland this weekend. I would have made it work. I hope you realize I really am THAT mad at you.

xoxo

[LilBee91]

Dear you,
I think I may use up an entire box of tissues crying over you this year. Happy?


Dear Nose,
Don't you ever run out mucusy gunk?

[Mich]

Dear you(s):

Thank you for mentioning the evolution vs. creation thread. It was a most interesting read, and I normally hate the religion boards.

<3

[locke]

dear me,
there you go again, opening your big mouth, didn't think I'd get that reaction though.

[zeroguy]

On one hand, I find it funny that you acknowledge your lack of ass by saying you hope it gets bigger. That's the opposite of what you usually hear from women.

J.D., the only difference between a white girl and a black girl is when a black girl asks you if their ass looks big in something, you say "hell yes!"

[Caspian]

Hey! You nominated me for an award! Thanks!

[Sonikku13]

Dear nose...

Do you ever stop bleeding! Seriously, I had TWO nosebleeds in school today! Heal already! And if you ever put blood on my Ender comics, I'm gonna kill you, nose.

From my brain.

[Confessions]

Dear You,

Why not take the bus? Today, in honor of Bus Incident Day. Or, you know, any other day for that matter.

And, yeah, okay. Fine. Yes, I have a crush on you. For some reason, I'm paranoid about it; I keep thinking you somehow know. Ridiculous, of course; you probably have no idea I even exist (oh, how cliche). Just because I am everywhere always...

I've decided, though, that if you do know, I'd rather be aware of it. There are two (or more) people who could possibly take me aside and say, "there are suspicions." These people don't know (duh) but if you share any suspicions with them, they will. Well, I'd rather be warned. This is new. Beforehand I would've maintained that if I don't know you know, it's just as if you don't know. Which is true. It would be a million times worse if I knew. It would be really bad. But if you knew and I was warned about it, I'd know to disappear. Disappear completely, off the face of the earth, which is the reasonable thing to do in such a situation. I can definitely always be elsewhere. There would be run-ins, but they'd be very uncommon. It wouldn't be fun, not at all, but all in all I'd rather know.

This is all hypothetical, obviously.

-me

[Locke_]

Okay You,

It's been a while--months! An entire continent of adventuring for me. But now I'm driving up, partly to come see you. I don't know how you'll feel. Hell, I don't know how I'll feel. But I know I can't let go of that great Good Will Hunting quote: "I gotta go see about a girl."

Me

[Luet]

Dear you,

If you are reading this, you are a liar...still.

me

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

You are awesome. Thank you, I really needed that. No, that's a lie. What I actually needed was a friend to come through for me. What I really needed was to sit down and bounce things off someone who's not going to retort with poking fun or carefully encoded, sarcastic, and only slightly useful metaphors. What I really needed was the dignity of a response to my text this afternoon to finalize the plans we had made, even if not a positive one.

As much as I've grown to expect this sort of thing, I didn't expect it from you. Usually you cancel.

What I didn't need was to be let down again. What I didn't need was getting excited to spend quality time with someone who's company I genuinely enjoy (and that itself is saying something), just to be brushed off like that. I need someone and I was really hoping you could be there for me, even just for a couple hours; I seem to remember you're the one who started this by expressing to me how much you missed hanging out like we used to.

I'm really hurt. More than is deserved for the situation, but that's not relevant to me right now. But, if you can't be a friend...can you find someone who can? Heh, I'm only half joking.

--Me

[starlooker]

Dear You,

It's all there. It's all there. You just have to put it together.

Goal: Write up everything that I have so far before the major analysis. This is a good goal, since I don't have the software necessary to actually do the major analysis.

Former you did a lot of very good work on this. Very thorough. Reasonably organized. Saved everything. So it's just putting it together now. That's do-able. That's very do-able. Just explain what she did, that's all.

Yourself

[Jayelle]

Dear you,

I like you alot and I'm sad that we won't be working together anymore, but I still am constantly amazed by your lack of computer knowledge.
How do you work with computers for 10+ years and still not know how to save a word document??
And how do you not understand what "click on the start menu" means?

I'm sad that you don't believe me when I say: Click on all the buttons! You're not going to break anything! Read the messages that pop up and they won't let you do anything that kills the machine, I promise.

Your co-worker.

[Wil]

Dear you,

Print this out and put it on your co-workers desk.


Wil

[human.]

Dear You,

Please stop paying with your credit card so that I can pay for my meal myself. I know you're being gentlemanly, and opening my door is sweet of you, but I can pay for my own meal, I promise! It makes me feel a little awkward when you don't let me..

On a side note, I am going to miss you when I leave for college. You should get a job over on the East coast! Just sayin'. I know you're looking for one, and I'm sure someone needs an engineer over there.

Kelsey.

Dear You,

Your birthday and Valentine's day and the Super Bowl in the same week is definitely not fair. You should help me figure this out.. And equating Super Bowl Sunday to Valentine's day was unbelievably adorable, but I didn't tell you that because you wouldn't like your name and the word adorable in the same sentence. But yeah.. help me figure out what to do for you? I can totally pick up on subtle hints!

Kelsey.

[Graff^]

Dear you,
I know we have our arguments but through and through we love each other right. I know you think of me and i know i think of you so, why
can't we get past our diffrences and just make up.

Love you always,
Me

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

Stop making excuses. Stop procrastinating. You know you want to go out for a drink, even if it is alone. You wouldn't be dressed nice and smelling good to stay home alone watching tv and playing video games. Stop telling yourself how weird you are for going out alone, and that - like every other time you try these things - it'll blow up in your face. Don't let your mind overcome you, you know you are stronger than succumbing to it. Break out of your frame if only for a minute, long enough to get yourself there. Just get somewhere.

--You.

[zeroguy]

Dear self,

Stop looking at sonic 4! Sonic cycle! (...but, but, it's 2D!) No! Sonic cycle! Sonic cycle!

-me

[Mich]

Dear self,

Stop looking at sonic 4! Sonic cycle! (...but, but, it's 2D!) No! Sonic cycle! Sonic cycle!

-me

I'm thinking that the success of New Super Mario Bros Wii is what made them decide to put out what Sonic 4 currently looks like it is. Of course... you know... the Sonic Cycle...

[Graff^]

Dear me,
If you don't do your homework and study you're gonna fail and become a loser in life.
From,
Self

Dear me,
But how can I study when you spend all your free time on Pweb!!
From,
Self

[Confessions]

Dear you,

I said "I understand." Even though I stopped there, that was not the end of that thought. It was supposed to go "I understand that you are an a****** and that I cannot turn to you for help with the most important aspect of my life."

Granted, I was not that vicious the first time you posed your opinions on the matter. But then, you were not so expressive about them, and not in such disregard of what I was going through. That, I assure you, you cannot possibly understand. More importantly, now you also have (and this is a long definition) what I thought I'd never again have, then planned an intricate maneuver so that I can experience it again, just once, only to possibly have my plans ruined AGAIN.

Now I understand that you, like the rest of them, don't deserve it. Now, I'm not usually in the business of judging people and qualifying what they deserve and what they don't. It's just that people of no merit whatsoever get what I'd do anything to have and don't appreciate it at all. You too, and it makes me angry.

You could at least try to see my perspective.

-your friend, I guess

P.S. f*** you.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,

I just can't be bothered anymore. I'm sorry. I'd add something else to that but it would be trite, cliche, and unhelpful. I really am sorry.

Sincerely,
Me


Dear You,

Honestly, a big frustration is and will continue to be that I hear certain song lyrics ("I want the world to see you'll be with me"), I see certain movies, I read certain books/articles and I get this overwhelming feeling of warmth that I want to direct at you. But I can't. I can't hug you, I can't smile at you or give you a certain look, I can't even tell you how my insides sometimes feel like a fountain bubbling over with gooey-happiness and how it makes me want to take out every paint I have, every sequin and particle of glitter, and just let them become whatever they become. It feels wrong and I hate that it feels wrong, that I have to catch myself smiling or my cheeks starting to get warm over something you've said or done and yell at myself to put an end to it. I encouraged it last year, I admit, before you told me all that you did but I haven't since and yet, there it remains. Go ahead, think what you will -you never tell me, anyhow- but I can't change who I am, at least not quickly enough to be helpful to either of us, and there comes a point where I'm not sure I can change how I am. I just...a crushing blow would be useful, even if it would feel devastating. Mr. James Morrison wasn't all that far off when he said "If I'm crying out don't listen to it / It's only my heart." We/you were so close last year. Why'd it stop?

Thanks,
Alea


Dear You,

Although I'm partly to blame, I'm a tad bit disappointed in you. Not to mention, I find you a bit obnoxious and almost snobby now. Try not to take that too harshly; I'll wait. But don't hold your breath on getting an apology.

Sincerely,
Me

[megxers]

Dear you,

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I will be seriously disappointed if I don't see you this weekend and that after 3 years, we don't get to do our actual anti-Valentine's day event. I strongly dislike how whenever I'm in California, you're not. This is a problem that must be solved soon, boy, since I haven't seen you in 6 months. I know it has been amazing for my self-reliance and emotions to not be as dependent on you, but I miss the closeness a lot. Even if the emotional co-dependency thing was not healthy or sustainable.

[anonshadow]

Dear you,

Leave me the f*** alone. For serious.

Angrily,
Me