Dear you,
I knew Miss Susie.
She and her boyfriend kissed in the d a r k d a r k darkness of the movies, the movie was a show, the show was a video and that's not all I know. Miss Susie had a baby, she named it tiny Tim, she put it in the bath tub to see if it could swim, it drank up all the water, ate up all the soap, tried to eat the bath tub but it wouldn't go down it's throat.
Then there is a very long passage about a doctor, a nurse, and a lady with an alligator purse.
Dear You 2.0
-
VelvetElvis
- Commander
- Posts: 2535
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:22 am
- Title: is real!
- First Joined: 0- 9-2004
-
Young Val
- Commander
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:00 pm
- Title: Papermaster
- First Joined: 12 Sep 2000
- Location: from New York City to St. Paul, MN (but I'm a Boston girl at heart).
- Contact:
Dear You,
I'm in love with you. You know that already. I know that already. I've told you many, many times, and will continue to tell you. Have I ever attempted to tell you why?
I love you because you have given me the gift of myself, the gift of yourself, and the gift of our life together in which I am always learning, always teaching, always taking steps closer toward my best self, the person I want to become. I love you because you listen, thoughtfully and actively, when I speak. I love you because you make me laugh, and because you seek to make me laugh.
For these reasons, and more. Because you are an excellent cook, because you ask me to slow-dance with you in the living room whenever "I Could Write A Book" comes on iTunes--even if I am covered in flour, or wearing my rattiest pair of pajamas, or you are engrossed in the latest issue of the Atlantic. Because you cup my face in your hands when you kiss me, and let me wear your shirts, and never ever complain or refuse when I ask you to crack my back (which is often).
Because you are kind to children and animals, because you are intelligent and ambitious, because you infuse every word you speak with passion and energy. Because you are willing to ask for my help and to learn from me. Because you have helped me create an arena for our relationship in which we are safe and allowed to be vulnerable and wrong. Because you know how to ask for and accept forgiveness with grace. Because you love your family. Because you are a man of your word. Because you help old women lift things off the top shelves in the grocery store with patience and kindness always, even when it often means you abandon your own shopping to escort them through the aisles to assist them with theirs.
Because you are willing to talk about the difficult and unpleasant aspects of being in a relationship with honesty and temperance. Because you are generous with your money, time, and attention and your loyalty is unwavering.
Because of the shape of your hands and the clean, sweet scent of that scoop of soft skin between your neck and your shoulder. Because you are never stingy with your affection. Because I never sleep well when I am not beside you. Because I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I see you walk through the front door. Because you are so handsome, so very sexy, that I find you intoxicating.
Because you are supportive of me, and encourage me to pursue the things I care about. Because of who you are on your own, as an individual. Because you have gone through so much in your life and seen so many places and experienced so much and because you have used that to fuel who you are and what you wish to become. Because you don't settle; you want always to expand, to learn, and feel, and do more. Because you rigorously pursue your goals. Because you are perceptive and still shy.
I love you because you understand that relationships require work in addition to love. I love you because you are willing to work, because you want to work, because you continuously work to make our relationship as solid as it can be. Because you have been brilliantly wonderful in times of trouble. Because you have proven that my trust in you is well-placed. Because I know in my heart that someday you will be a wonderful father. Because you've barely been in Korea for 24 hours and I am already counting the days until you return.
Because from the moment of our first kiss I have felt a string tied tightly around my ribs, knowing you hold the other end. And from that moment whenever we've been apart I've felt the tug on the string as you go. Because that tight little thread yanks again and again on my ribcage until I'm back in your arms again.
Because, because, because.
There are so many reasons why. I can't ever come up with them all.
I love you more than all the words in all the books in all the world.
Thank you.
always,
Kelly
I'm in love with you. You know that already. I know that already. I've told you many, many times, and will continue to tell you. Have I ever attempted to tell you why?
I love you because you have given me the gift of myself, the gift of yourself, and the gift of our life together in which I am always learning, always teaching, always taking steps closer toward my best self, the person I want to become. I love you because you listen, thoughtfully and actively, when I speak. I love you because you make me laugh, and because you seek to make me laugh.
For these reasons, and more. Because you are an excellent cook, because you ask me to slow-dance with you in the living room whenever "I Could Write A Book" comes on iTunes--even if I am covered in flour, or wearing my rattiest pair of pajamas, or you are engrossed in the latest issue of the Atlantic. Because you cup my face in your hands when you kiss me, and let me wear your shirts, and never ever complain or refuse when I ask you to crack my back (which is often).
Because you are kind to children and animals, because you are intelligent and ambitious, because you infuse every word you speak with passion and energy. Because you are willing to ask for my help and to learn from me. Because you have helped me create an arena for our relationship in which we are safe and allowed to be vulnerable and wrong. Because you know how to ask for and accept forgiveness with grace. Because you love your family. Because you are a man of your word. Because you help old women lift things off the top shelves in the grocery store with patience and kindness always, even when it often means you abandon your own shopping to escort them through the aisles to assist them with theirs.
Because you are willing to talk about the difficult and unpleasant aspects of being in a relationship with honesty and temperance. Because you are generous with your money, time, and attention and your loyalty is unwavering.
Because of the shape of your hands and the clean, sweet scent of that scoop of soft skin between your neck and your shoulder. Because you are never stingy with your affection. Because I never sleep well when I am not beside you. Because I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I see you walk through the front door. Because you are so handsome, so very sexy, that I find you intoxicating.
Because you are supportive of me, and encourage me to pursue the things I care about. Because of who you are on your own, as an individual. Because you have gone through so much in your life and seen so many places and experienced so much and because you have used that to fuel who you are and what you wish to become. Because you don't settle; you want always to expand, to learn, and feel, and do more. Because you rigorously pursue your goals. Because you are perceptive and still shy.
I love you because you understand that relationships require work in addition to love. I love you because you are willing to work, because you want to work, because you continuously work to make our relationship as solid as it can be. Because you have been brilliantly wonderful in times of trouble. Because you have proven that my trust in you is well-placed. Because I know in my heart that someday you will be a wonderful father. Because you've barely been in Korea for 24 hours and I am already counting the days until you return.
Because from the moment of our first kiss I have felt a string tied tightly around my ribs, knowing you hold the other end. And from that moment whenever we've been apart I've felt the tug on the string as you go. Because that tight little thread yanks again and again on my ribcage until I'm back in your arms again.
Because, because, because.
There are so many reasons why. I can't ever come up with them all.
I love you more than all the words in all the books in all the world.
Thank you.
always,
Kelly
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
Dear You,
you were a first for me, and in some ways a last. I apparently have issues I didn't want to face and you have issues I'd much rather face. and I was kind, sweet, manipulative, arrogant, foolish, happy, frustrated and confused all at once. And you were too, though you often claim you were none of these things. I actively attacked your walls of jade and brick and tried to tear them down. I did dumb things and good things and vile things and wonderful things and so did you and I exposed my inner most secrets to you and to no one else. So far as I know, you have told noone else those secrets, or if you have told someone I trust he can keep those secrets too. You told me secrets and disturbing stories and you refused to let me simplify and categorize and analyze your experiences into a conveniently shaped but entirely wrong narrative/arc/pattern that seems like it should fit. You're complicated and it made me realize how complicated I am, how much love is complicated when you try to force it and how much moreso I was interested in being in love than I was with being in love with you. that I wanted a relationship that I didn't know what that meant, that I wanted maturity but really longed for immaturity in more ways. But I still respected your boundaries when it came down to crossing those firm lines you drew in the sand. I pushed at those boundaries I prodded, I looked for ways around them, under them over them, but I didn't cross, and I think that says something about me, despite all your efforts to make me feel like a loathsome inhuman thing I don't think I am, though I often question that sometimes, that question has been there for many years since before I knew you, and in writing this I sort of think that recognized that buried quality and in some ways fed it goaded it and used it against me, as much from a desire to punish yourself as to punish me as well. I sort of feel that you're out of my head and out of my space and out of my life more than ever, and I really like that. perhaps we shouldn't even play scrabble on facebook anymore, but to me that's about all the contact I want. You don't hurt so much anymore, I saw your most recent picture and for the first time since I first met you I saw you with eyes that didn't know you and came to the same conclusion I had then. cute, but not my thing.
Dear You,
I still remember that odd sparking thrill that jolted through my brain into that bit of spine that connects my head to my neck when we first kissed. I've never quite got an involuntary reaction like that when I've kissed someone else, sorry I came on so strong and probably scared you off. I was and perhaps still am in a lot of ways like a little inexperienced kid when it comes to relationships and girls. I hid from them when I was a tween and teen, I was above them. I used religion and self-arrogance, and granted quite a bit of terror of the unknown to not have those experiences quite deliberately, and a great bit of the horror with which I view my college and adult self is tied to those decisions that shaped me in ways I don't particularly like and wish more than anything I could change. I sort of feel I'd be a lot healthier today if I'd just had a normal teenage life instead of fearfully wrapping myself up in religion and loneliness and developing a moral superiority complex about it that was at best only surface deep and perverted and crippled my mind and spirit in ways I'm still grappling with every day.
Dear You,
I honestly thought about asking you out because I hoped that you would sleep with me despite no real attraction to you, you were available and we were friendly if not friends. I sometimes wonder if I should have done that and am often glad I never did.
Dear You,
I swear the first time I saw you I knew I'd seen you before, and you recognized me from my work, which usually no one does. We had an oddly parallel past but our paths had never intersected before. You surprisingly told me of a dream of yours of your future and I fell in love with you as I heard that dream, harder and more completely than I've ever been in love with anyone ever. We didn't date, I came on too strong in trying to be friendly and incorporate you in my friends and you didn't respond I sent an emo email that I'm still ashamed of and almost never sent. A yearish later we accidentally re crossed paths, you invited me to your birthday party, you were gorgeous, I loved hanging out with your friends, I brought you cookies. I wish I could have gotten insanely drunk, but I had to drive home. nothing happened, I didn't contact you. a family member I opened up to said I should. I did. we went to a movie, more or less as friends and I didn't know if it was a date or not. I wanted so badly to kiss you that night. I kind of think you wanted me to kiss or at least ask. I wish we'd gone to house of pies. You were still the most heart stoppingly beautiful creature I've ever encountered in my life. Everyone I meet past or present gets compared instantly to you, I can't stop it, I can't control it, it happens. Then we went out again. we went to a wrong place a stupid place a place I used to love and haven't been back to since. and there i said something stupid and ill considered, mean, callous and dismissive about a mutual acquaintance/friend and I could sort of see the light die in your eyes right then. You canceled our next date and didn't return any of my calls since then. I've been kicking myself since then. do you know how much I hate that acquaintance? not just because of saying something about her, but because she was never my friend, she was a friend of one of the yous above and everyone always sort of assumed we were friends. I helped her out when she needed hands to help move, she helped get me on a film, we've both worked with her, I could never stand her, but when that came out in that ugly comment I knew you thought less of me. we had all the apapearance and history of good friends, but I could never begin to express how complicated that appearance is to you. Suffice to say, I appear friends or friendlywith almost everyone I meet or even hang out with. I am actually friends with maybe five percent of them. perhaps less. Friendship is an immensely hard thing to do. sometimes I don't want friends at all. sometimes I wish I had all sorts of friends. I wish I could have you as a friend, becuase then I would at least feel a little more justified in pining unrequited over you but burying that attraction as deep as I can beneath layers of strata I build up around myself. I like to pretend I'm not all walled off, but I am, very much so. You're not, or at least don't appear to be. You're one of the non-crazy girls out there. I wish I could have kissed you. we went on a semi date. that is it. I saw you and walked away a few days ago, but saw on facebook you're in a relationship. other than wanting to happily kill that guy, (despite his favorite movie being ET and favorite book being Ender's game which means I like him without even knowing him) I still remember the advice and comments you gave me about me. you told me you thought if we got together it would hold me back. The f****** ridiculous thing of it all is that you're absolutely 200% right about that. my life's track would be wildly apart from where it is now had we ever got together. and I think you and I would both be miserable. and I still hate that we're not together. I really don't ever want to watch When Harry Met Sally again because I sincerely find the premise to be one of the single most terrifying things ever. I don't want that to happen to me. I'd feel so pathetic. and I'd be so pathetically happy if it turned out like that. I kill that sick, sick sick, hope everytime I spot it cropping up, but it's always there like Medusa.
Dear you,
you gave me a lot, I lost a lot, didn't lose everything. you made me laugh, you had a great personality, I found quickly how to be attracted to someone I wasn't interested in instantly in a physical way. and It was a lot of fun hanging out together. We both knew it wouldn't work out or last. thanks for having a good time with me. I'm sorry at the parts where I wasn't good enough and thanks for showing me what a real amicable breakup is like.
Dear you,
I totally manipulated and used you. I'm sorry, we both wanted each other, but you started to fall in love with me and I knew almost right away I didn't even really like you all that much, but I thought there was room to grow. you didn't really make me laugh though, and it was burdensome often talking to you. I wish it had been shorter rather than as long as it was. Yes I really am an a******. I don't particularly like that capacity within me but it really and truly wasn't working from the first date. we should have ended it after the somewhat drunken makeout session. I'm sorry for several things, including that one night, that morning after, and in general for being an understanding prick. it was messier and hurt more than I expected, but at least I know many new things.
Dear you,
you had a crazy intense crush on me, despite exes and friends telling me about the epic LJ love affair you had for me going on, I never once read it. I never will read it, I'm glad you're happy, I"m glad we had our one excursion-not-a-date, I'm sorry you got so obsessive about me. I'm not the perfect guy you thought you'd found. tough.
Dear you,
I know you like me, I like you but I want to just be friends. You're a very sweet nice girl but I'm not feeling the attraction and I've had that relationship before and it didn't work. you have a fantastic personality though and you make me laugh. Your family reminds me scarily of another dear you with familiy issues but I don't think yours are that bad. You're so smart and grounded and good, I wish I could be the person you're looking for. I'm not. sorry to be an a******, but I don't want to hurt you. but I have a feeling in just not wanting to hurt you that it hurts anyway. sorry. it's a no win situation I"m in and I don't know how to handle it. I'll try to tone down my smile, I think it makes you a bit melty.
Dear you,
thank you for being my best friend and hearing so much of this, and just being there to listen. I am so grateful for your support in a lot of ways. I'm glad we have a friendship that doesn't require us to hang out all the time, but I often wish we did more hanging out, it sometimes makes me feel like a bad friend, but I think the sort of easy going thing we have going on embodies what friendship is. what is at the core of my greatest friendships I've maintained since middle school. Real friends may only need to talk three times a year or less, and they can still be the best of friends, we talk more often than not, but thanks for reminding me that I put too much effort and try to hard in way too many things. the chill pill relax and easy going thing feels so much nicer.
Dear you and you,
you guys are such great buddies of mine I feel like an a****** we don't stay in touch more. but then, see above, I sometimes seem that I don't need that so much. thanks for never letting me slip into my little Adam-only world. you're some of the greatest friends a guy could have, your families are beautiful and it makes me ache for my own and at the same time gives me incredible patience to find the right one the way you guys did. love you both bunches though I'll probably never say that to you in person.
Dear you,
I don't know where this is going, I don't know where this could lead. I'm not sure I want to go, I'm afraid of wrecking everything. hurting too many, hurting you. I'm afraid of my past, of your past, of the people we both know being hurt by us getting together, and at the same time, even though I sense, already right from the moment that you and I first expressed interest in each other that it won't work out long term. I'm scared that I'll self-sabotage to reach that conclusion if we do wind up getting into a relationship. heck that makes me realize I might self sabotage any relationship, finding everyone to be less than perfect. I'm a little bit crazy even if I seem so stable. you seem so not-crazy but with a little effort I find you're far from as stable as you sound and that gives me a perfect excuse and in having that excuse I want to disregard it entirely and try anyway. I'm not sure if I want to kiss you, get you into bed, or start a relationship with you or just be friends. I feel I will be discontent on any of those levels in some ways. just talking with you sort of makes me understand the concept of friends with benefits for the first time, which I thought I'd never really get and still don't really believe in. this is going to be complicated, messy and awkward if we let it go through but lately I've also been getting a glimmer or sensation of hope that maybe this one would be different and could build into something. I'm at a crossroads. I don't know whether to feed the fire or smother the flame. maybe after this vacation (or maybe if I'm lucky during it) I'll get some indication or clarity of which option to choose. I hate more than anything being indecisive, well I do hate girls playing girl-games with my head more than indecisiveness, so I want this resolved, at the same time part of me is constantly working with a soothing "patience" mantra. it may be weeks or months before I know how things are going to go, but I want to know now. Sigh. life is so damned complicated and messy.
to all of yous,
Adam[/i]
you were a first for me, and in some ways a last. I apparently have issues I didn't want to face and you have issues I'd much rather face. and I was kind, sweet, manipulative, arrogant, foolish, happy, frustrated and confused all at once. And you were too, though you often claim you were none of these things. I actively attacked your walls of jade and brick and tried to tear them down. I did dumb things and good things and vile things and wonderful things and so did you and I exposed my inner most secrets to you and to no one else. So far as I know, you have told noone else those secrets, or if you have told someone I trust he can keep those secrets too. You told me secrets and disturbing stories and you refused to let me simplify and categorize and analyze your experiences into a conveniently shaped but entirely wrong narrative/arc/pattern that seems like it should fit. You're complicated and it made me realize how complicated I am, how much love is complicated when you try to force it and how much moreso I was interested in being in love than I was with being in love with you. that I wanted a relationship that I didn't know what that meant, that I wanted maturity but really longed for immaturity in more ways. But I still respected your boundaries when it came down to crossing those firm lines you drew in the sand. I pushed at those boundaries I prodded, I looked for ways around them, under them over them, but I didn't cross, and I think that says something about me, despite all your efforts to make me feel like a loathsome inhuman thing I don't think I am, though I often question that sometimes, that question has been there for many years since before I knew you, and in writing this I sort of think that recognized that buried quality and in some ways fed it goaded it and used it against me, as much from a desire to punish yourself as to punish me as well. I sort of feel that you're out of my head and out of my space and out of my life more than ever, and I really like that. perhaps we shouldn't even play scrabble on facebook anymore, but to me that's about all the contact I want. You don't hurt so much anymore, I saw your most recent picture and for the first time since I first met you I saw you with eyes that didn't know you and came to the same conclusion I had then. cute, but not my thing.
Dear You,
I still remember that odd sparking thrill that jolted through my brain into that bit of spine that connects my head to my neck when we first kissed. I've never quite got an involuntary reaction like that when I've kissed someone else, sorry I came on so strong and probably scared you off. I was and perhaps still am in a lot of ways like a little inexperienced kid when it comes to relationships and girls. I hid from them when I was a tween and teen, I was above them. I used religion and self-arrogance, and granted quite a bit of terror of the unknown to not have those experiences quite deliberately, and a great bit of the horror with which I view my college and adult self is tied to those decisions that shaped me in ways I don't particularly like and wish more than anything I could change. I sort of feel I'd be a lot healthier today if I'd just had a normal teenage life instead of fearfully wrapping myself up in religion and loneliness and developing a moral superiority complex about it that was at best only surface deep and perverted and crippled my mind and spirit in ways I'm still grappling with every day.
Dear You,
I honestly thought about asking you out because I hoped that you would sleep with me despite no real attraction to you, you were available and we were friendly if not friends. I sometimes wonder if I should have done that and am often glad I never did.
Dear You,
I swear the first time I saw you I knew I'd seen you before, and you recognized me from my work, which usually no one does. We had an oddly parallel past but our paths had never intersected before. You surprisingly told me of a dream of yours of your future and I fell in love with you as I heard that dream, harder and more completely than I've ever been in love with anyone ever. We didn't date, I came on too strong in trying to be friendly and incorporate you in my friends and you didn't respond I sent an emo email that I'm still ashamed of and almost never sent. A yearish later we accidentally re crossed paths, you invited me to your birthday party, you were gorgeous, I loved hanging out with your friends, I brought you cookies. I wish I could have gotten insanely drunk, but I had to drive home. nothing happened, I didn't contact you. a family member I opened up to said I should. I did. we went to a movie, more or less as friends and I didn't know if it was a date or not. I wanted so badly to kiss you that night. I kind of think you wanted me to kiss or at least ask. I wish we'd gone to house of pies. You were still the most heart stoppingly beautiful creature I've ever encountered in my life. Everyone I meet past or present gets compared instantly to you, I can't stop it, I can't control it, it happens. Then we went out again. we went to a wrong place a stupid place a place I used to love and haven't been back to since. and there i said something stupid and ill considered, mean, callous and dismissive about a mutual acquaintance/friend and I could sort of see the light die in your eyes right then. You canceled our next date and didn't return any of my calls since then. I've been kicking myself since then. do you know how much I hate that acquaintance? not just because of saying something about her, but because she was never my friend, she was a friend of one of the yous above and everyone always sort of assumed we were friends. I helped her out when she needed hands to help move, she helped get me on a film, we've both worked with her, I could never stand her, but when that came out in that ugly comment I knew you thought less of me. we had all the apapearance and history of good friends, but I could never begin to express how complicated that appearance is to you. Suffice to say, I appear friends or friendlywith almost everyone I meet or even hang out with. I am actually friends with maybe five percent of them. perhaps less. Friendship is an immensely hard thing to do. sometimes I don't want friends at all. sometimes I wish I had all sorts of friends. I wish I could have you as a friend, becuase then I would at least feel a little more justified in pining unrequited over you but burying that attraction as deep as I can beneath layers of strata I build up around myself. I like to pretend I'm not all walled off, but I am, very much so. You're not, or at least don't appear to be. You're one of the non-crazy girls out there. I wish I could have kissed you. we went on a semi date. that is it. I saw you and walked away a few days ago, but saw on facebook you're in a relationship. other than wanting to happily kill that guy, (despite his favorite movie being ET and favorite book being Ender's game which means I like him without even knowing him) I still remember the advice and comments you gave me about me. you told me you thought if we got together it would hold me back. The f****** ridiculous thing of it all is that you're absolutely 200% right about that. my life's track would be wildly apart from where it is now had we ever got together. and I think you and I would both be miserable. and I still hate that we're not together. I really don't ever want to watch When Harry Met Sally again because I sincerely find the premise to be one of the single most terrifying things ever. I don't want that to happen to me. I'd feel so pathetic. and I'd be so pathetically happy if it turned out like that. I kill that sick, sick sick, hope everytime I spot it cropping up, but it's always there like Medusa.
Dear you,
you gave me a lot, I lost a lot, didn't lose everything. you made me laugh, you had a great personality, I found quickly how to be attracted to someone I wasn't interested in instantly in a physical way. and It was a lot of fun hanging out together. We both knew it wouldn't work out or last. thanks for having a good time with me. I'm sorry at the parts where I wasn't good enough and thanks for showing me what a real amicable breakup is like.
Dear you,
I totally manipulated and used you. I'm sorry, we both wanted each other, but you started to fall in love with me and I knew almost right away I didn't even really like you all that much, but I thought there was room to grow. you didn't really make me laugh though, and it was burdensome often talking to you. I wish it had been shorter rather than as long as it was. Yes I really am an a******. I don't particularly like that capacity within me but it really and truly wasn't working from the first date. we should have ended it after the somewhat drunken makeout session. I'm sorry for several things, including that one night, that morning after, and in general for being an understanding prick. it was messier and hurt more than I expected, but at least I know many new things.
Dear you,
you had a crazy intense crush on me, despite exes and friends telling me about the epic LJ love affair you had for me going on, I never once read it. I never will read it, I'm glad you're happy, I"m glad we had our one excursion-not-a-date, I'm sorry you got so obsessive about me. I'm not the perfect guy you thought you'd found. tough.
Dear you,
I know you like me, I like you but I want to just be friends. You're a very sweet nice girl but I'm not feeling the attraction and I've had that relationship before and it didn't work. you have a fantastic personality though and you make me laugh. Your family reminds me scarily of another dear you with familiy issues but I don't think yours are that bad. You're so smart and grounded and good, I wish I could be the person you're looking for. I'm not. sorry to be an a******, but I don't want to hurt you. but I have a feeling in just not wanting to hurt you that it hurts anyway. sorry. it's a no win situation I"m in and I don't know how to handle it. I'll try to tone down my smile, I think it makes you a bit melty.
Dear you,
thank you for being my best friend and hearing so much of this, and just being there to listen. I am so grateful for your support in a lot of ways. I'm glad we have a friendship that doesn't require us to hang out all the time, but I often wish we did more hanging out, it sometimes makes me feel like a bad friend, but I think the sort of easy going thing we have going on embodies what friendship is. what is at the core of my greatest friendships I've maintained since middle school. Real friends may only need to talk three times a year or less, and they can still be the best of friends, we talk more often than not, but thanks for reminding me that I put too much effort and try to hard in way too many things. the chill pill relax and easy going thing feels so much nicer.
Dear you and you,
you guys are such great buddies of mine I feel like an a****** we don't stay in touch more. but then, see above, I sometimes seem that I don't need that so much. thanks for never letting me slip into my little Adam-only world. you're some of the greatest friends a guy could have, your families are beautiful and it makes me ache for my own and at the same time gives me incredible patience to find the right one the way you guys did. love you both bunches though I'll probably never say that to you in person.
Dear you,
I don't know where this is going, I don't know where this could lead. I'm not sure I want to go, I'm afraid of wrecking everything. hurting too many, hurting you. I'm afraid of my past, of your past, of the people we both know being hurt by us getting together, and at the same time, even though I sense, already right from the moment that you and I first expressed interest in each other that it won't work out long term. I'm scared that I'll self-sabotage to reach that conclusion if we do wind up getting into a relationship. heck that makes me realize I might self sabotage any relationship, finding everyone to be less than perfect. I'm a little bit crazy even if I seem so stable. you seem so not-crazy but with a little effort I find you're far from as stable as you sound and that gives me a perfect excuse and in having that excuse I want to disregard it entirely and try anyway. I'm not sure if I want to kiss you, get you into bed, or start a relationship with you or just be friends. I feel I will be discontent on any of those levels in some ways. just talking with you sort of makes me understand the concept of friends with benefits for the first time, which I thought I'd never really get and still don't really believe in. this is going to be complicated, messy and awkward if we let it go through but lately I've also been getting a glimmer or sensation of hope that maybe this one would be different and could build into something. I'm at a crossroads. I don't know whether to feed the fire or smother the flame. maybe after this vacation (or maybe if I'm lucky during it) I'll get some indication or clarity of which option to choose. I hate more than anything being indecisive, well I do hate girls playing girl-games with my head more than indecisiveness, so I want this resolved, at the same time part of me is constantly working with a soothing "patience" mantra. it may be weeks or months before I know how things are going to go, but I want to know now. Sigh. life is so damned complicated and messy.
to all of yous,
Adam[/i]
So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
-
Luet
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4511
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:49 pm
- Title: Bird Nerd
- First Joined: 01 Jul 2000
- Location: Albany, NY
[Disclaimer: I couldn't sleep and thus have some really old DYs to write]
Dear You,
That was, and probably will always be, the worst apology I have ever gotten. You completely discard me as a friend, start dating the guy that abused me, treat me like crap, slander me to my friends and family...and then when threatened by the powers that be with the consequences if you don't make things right, you offer this "If I have done something that you feel needs to be apologized for, I am offering that to you now." Are you kidding? I wish that two years ago, when this happened, I was who I am now and not the conciliatory person I was then. Because I cringe to think how I smiled and hugged you and for about 30 seconds actually thought you had apologized. I would like to say you deserve being married to Him, but not even you deserve that.
-me
Dear You,
I know how ridiculous this sounds. It's been 12 years. But I only just realized in therapy that what I had thought of as a magical, wonderful week in my life...was not. You had "run away" to Florida to start a new life because you were questioning your sexuality. I was the only one you kept in touch with, and then you surprised me with plane tickets to come visit you. You knew I had feelings for you, we both had expressed that we loved each other (but meant it in different ways), so I had no idea what the week would be like but I gladly went. I wanted you to know that I still loved you and would do anything, including going against the advice of all friends and family, to prove that I still cared.
You decided it would be fun to pretend to be bf/gf while I was there. Your roommates were utterly confused by this turn of events...as was I. So, I slept (chastely) in the same bed with you. We hung all over each other everywhere we went and you were sweet and romantic. And it was confusing as hell for me. I felt physically ill once when you pulled me onto your lap and I was overwhelmed with the feelings I felt for you. I had to keep telling myself that it was pretend. Right before I got on the plane home, you kissed me. When I got home you told me that you did it because "you knew I wanted it" and that was the only reason. Except that for the whole plane ride home, I didn't know that and so a million other reasons spun through my head. You eventually did move back home and threw a fit when I started dating my now husband. You didn't want to lose me as your best friend.
When I told my therapist this story, I told it with my usual spin of hard but worth it, etc. And she said, "it sounds AWFUL, looking back, do you wish you hadn't gone"? That sounded preposterous to me. If I hadn't gone, how would you know I cared? It never occurred to me that the harm it did to me was more important than whatever good it might have done for you. I know none of this matters now. We both married, you were my landlord and lived in the same building for years. Now you have two beautiful kids and live many states away. And I truly carry no ill will towards you. I just needed to say this so I could stop remembering our week for something it was not.
love always,
nomi
Dear You,
That was, and probably will always be, the worst apology I have ever gotten. You completely discard me as a friend, start dating the guy that abused me, treat me like crap, slander me to my friends and family...and then when threatened by the powers that be with the consequences if you don't make things right, you offer this "If I have done something that you feel needs to be apologized for, I am offering that to you now." Are you kidding? I wish that two years ago, when this happened, I was who I am now and not the conciliatory person I was then. Because I cringe to think how I smiled and hugged you and for about 30 seconds actually thought you had apologized. I would like to say you deserve being married to Him, but not even you deserve that.
-me
Dear You,
I know how ridiculous this sounds. It's been 12 years. But I only just realized in therapy that what I had thought of as a magical, wonderful week in my life...was not. You had "run away" to Florida to start a new life because you were questioning your sexuality. I was the only one you kept in touch with, and then you surprised me with plane tickets to come visit you. You knew I had feelings for you, we both had expressed that we loved each other (but meant it in different ways), so I had no idea what the week would be like but I gladly went. I wanted you to know that I still loved you and would do anything, including going against the advice of all friends and family, to prove that I still cared.
You decided it would be fun to pretend to be bf/gf while I was there. Your roommates were utterly confused by this turn of events...as was I. So, I slept (chastely) in the same bed with you. We hung all over each other everywhere we went and you were sweet and romantic. And it was confusing as hell for me. I felt physically ill once when you pulled me onto your lap and I was overwhelmed with the feelings I felt for you. I had to keep telling myself that it was pretend. Right before I got on the plane home, you kissed me. When I got home you told me that you did it because "you knew I wanted it" and that was the only reason. Except that for the whole plane ride home, I didn't know that and so a million other reasons spun through my head. You eventually did move back home and threw a fit when I started dating my now husband. You didn't want to lose me as your best friend.
When I told my therapist this story, I told it with my usual spin of hard but worth it, etc. And she said, "it sounds AWFUL, looking back, do you wish you hadn't gone"? That sounded preposterous to me. If I hadn't gone, how would you know I cared? It never occurred to me that the harm it did to me was more important than whatever good it might have done for you. I know none of this matters now. We both married, you were my landlord and lived in the same building for years. Now you have two beautiful kids and live many states away. And I truly carry no ill will towards you. I just needed to say this so I could stop remembering our week for something it was not.
love always,
nomi
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." - Albert Camus in Return to Tipasa
Dear You,
Well you let your amazing pride get the best of you again. I can't believe that you would throw away over fifteen years of friendship and damn near brotherhood because I proved you wrong over a trivial matter. Well you have your cult and they all seem to love you so even though you use them for their assets and not much else. I wish you didn't have all these interior motives that change the way you do simple things. It hurts to ever think that I was just the easiest person to use so you kept me around for so long. I know that couldn't be true, but my mind still wanders there. I was really shocked when I came to get all my stuff from our house and you went out of your way to avoid me, not speak to me, look at me. I don't really miss you and I don't want to say that I'm bitter towards you even though you turned all my other friends against me as well. Sigh. I guess what I'm trying to say is I guess its better that our lives part now and I'm done thinking about oh this is what we used to do when we hung out. Even though you never let my girlfriend take part in any of it which I have to admit really hurt my relationship with her. I'm not proud of that, I stood up for her but yet I still let you win. Meh. At least I'm living with her now and she is an amazing person who truly cares for me even if she is really jealous and demanding at times -_-
Good luck in life.
me
Well you let your amazing pride get the best of you again. I can't believe that you would throw away over fifteen years of friendship and damn near brotherhood because I proved you wrong over a trivial matter. Well you have your cult and they all seem to love you so even though you use them for their assets and not much else. I wish you didn't have all these interior motives that change the way you do simple things. It hurts to ever think that I was just the easiest person to use so you kept me around for so long. I know that couldn't be true, but my mind still wanders there. I was really shocked when I came to get all my stuff from our house and you went out of your way to avoid me, not speak to me, look at me. I don't really miss you and I don't want to say that I'm bitter towards you even though you turned all my other friends against me as well. Sigh. I guess what I'm trying to say is I guess its better that our lives part now and I'm done thinking about oh this is what we used to do when we hung out. Even though you never let my girlfriend take part in any of it which I have to admit really hurt my relationship with her. I'm not proud of that, I stood up for her but yet I still let you win. Meh. At least I'm living with her now and she is an amazing person who truly cares for me even if she is really jealous and demanding at times -_-
Good luck in life.
me
-
starlooker
- Commander
- Posts: 3823
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:19 pm
- Title: Dr. Mom
- First Joined: 28 Oct 2002
- Location: Home. With cats who have names.
Dear You,
Respectfully, you are full of it. On the norms, Alzheimers do, in fact, show lowered delayed compared to immediate memory scores. This does not fit that profile. Secondly, yes, 19 out of 20 does indicate at a better than chance rate that some encoding took place. I really do not see how it could not indicate that. It's not a great score, no, but it is clinically meaningful. Thirdly, your whole, "You need z-scores, index scores aren't that helpful" point makes no sense after a moment's thought -- they are both standard scores which give you the mean and standard deviation. I can figure out the z-score from the index score in approximately no time. Apparently, you do not know what an index score is. I don't care if you're on the neuropsych secondary site, you're not that much better than me at this. So shut up. Also, see if I ever consult with you on this again.
Cordially,
Your officemate.
Respectfully, you are full of it. On the norms, Alzheimers do, in fact, show lowered delayed compared to immediate memory scores. This does not fit that profile. Secondly, yes, 19 out of 20 does indicate at a better than chance rate that some encoding took place. I really do not see how it could not indicate that. It's not a great score, no, but it is clinically meaningful. Thirdly, your whole, "You need z-scores, index scores aren't that helpful" point makes no sense after a moment's thought -- they are both standard scores which give you the mean and standard deviation. I can figure out the z-score from the index score in approximately no time. Apparently, you do not know what an index score is. I don't care if you're on the neuropsych secondary site, you're not that much better than me at this. So shut up. Also, see if I ever consult with you on this again.
Cordially,
Your officemate.
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
-
Hector.Victorious
- Soldier
- Posts: 112
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2008 5:07 pm
-
Confessions
- Soldier
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:00 pm
- Title: Guilty
Dear Yous,
You guys made my life hell for one day on this very day years ago. Of course, you had no idea this was the case (and still don't). Your intention was not to make a poor 13-year-old nearly suicidal.
So what, exactly, were you doing?
You were just shooting a sentence into the air, probably for shock value. Well, you sure got shock value...
And you... I really have no idea what the hell you were thinking. Past the whole shock of the thing, it's true that it made absolutely no sense. Or did it? You have always had a very sick, twisted mind.
When I spoke to my friend about that day, she joked about the two of you being the ones responsible for my whole miserable year. We both agreed you were not smart enough to have done such a thing. Still, that day was probably one of the many straws that eventually broke my back. Gee, thanks a lot.
But you know what? Maybe I've forgiven you. I haven't exactly had the chance to test that assumption today, but who knows?
You guys made my life hell for one day on this very day years ago. Of course, you had no idea this was the case (and still don't). Your intention was not to make a poor 13-year-old nearly suicidal.
So what, exactly, were you doing?
You were just shooting a sentence into the air, probably for shock value. Well, you sure got shock value...
And you... I really have no idea what the hell you were thinking. Past the whole shock of the thing, it's true that it made absolutely no sense. Or did it? You have always had a very sick, twisted mind.
When I spoke to my friend about that day, she joked about the two of you being the ones responsible for my whole miserable year. We both agreed you were not smart enough to have done such a thing. Still, that day was probably one of the many straws that eventually broke my back. Gee, thanks a lot.
But you know what? Maybe I've forgiven you. I haven't exactly had the chance to test that assumption today, but who knows?
The password is "guilty"
-
lyons24000
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:46 pm
- Title: Darn Red Shells!
- Location: Texas
- Contact:
Dear you,
I hate how I always have to walk on eggshells around you. I constantly worry that I've done something else to upset you and even when I haven't I still know for a fact that I have. Nothing can please you. You always have to find one thing wrong. I don't understand how I managed to live with that from you for my entire life. One day I'm just going to step all over those eggshells you've dropped on the ground for me to tiptoe around and watch as you try to salvage the pieces. You may not let go of the control you have over your family that easily but you sure won't have that control over me.
I cannot wait until the day when I can finally say after all these years, "Mind your own business and stop trying to constantly correct a problem. If I want your "advice" (*cough*criticism*cough*) I'll ask for it. Don't hold your breath".
Ah, the freedom that I just can't seem to grasp. I guess its because you're useful when I need you.
Me
I hate how I always have to walk on eggshells around you. I constantly worry that I've done something else to upset you and even when I haven't I still know for a fact that I have. Nothing can please you. You always have to find one thing wrong. I don't understand how I managed to live with that from you for my entire life. One day I'm just going to step all over those eggshells you've dropped on the ground for me to tiptoe around and watch as you try to salvage the pieces. You may not let go of the control you have over your family that easily but you sure won't have that control over me.
I cannot wait until the day when I can finally say after all these years, "Mind your own business and stop trying to constantly correct a problem. If I want your "advice" (*cough*criticism*cough*) I'll ask for it. Don't hold your breath".
Ah, the freedom that I just can't seem to grasp. I guess its because you're useful when I need you.
Me
"This must be the end, then."-MorningLightMountain, Judas Unchained
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Gravity Defier
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Dear You,
For the past little bit, I've been thinking about you and ending up at the same point each time: What else was I supposed to do, but apologize?
I don't know who I am with you anymore. I mean, God, I remember in March how angry I was that you'd said to me how easy we fall into place...but I couldn't tell you, because you seemed so excited, so I told Mama K instead. That was the first of it since, what, July when I was in Chicago? I'm not asking for the conditions we started with; that'd be too much. But I do need something more than "Let's catch up." I don't want to catch up every time with the person in the role you're supposed to fill.
For probably the last 3 years you have had no idea, no clue about a lot of things that were very important to me. Not at the time, anyway, but sucker that I am, I always oblige and catch you up.
So why say this now? Because there are some things Bob won't respond to and for some f****** up reason, I want to tell you and hear that tone that says "Lea, you know better...but I need more details!"
I love you forever, you know that. But I'll be damned if I don't forget sometimes how irreplaceable I let you become and how much that angers me at times like this.
Love,
Lea
Dear You,
I don't know the feeling (or lack thereof) behind your decency but it's a huge improvement over all that past nastiness and it gives me (perhaps a false) hope that maybe we'll be, if not friends then at least, friendly someday.
-Alea
For the past little bit, I've been thinking about you and ending up at the same point each time: What else was I supposed to do, but apologize?
I don't know who I am with you anymore. I mean, God, I remember in March how angry I was that you'd said to me how easy we fall into place...but I couldn't tell you, because you seemed so excited, so I told Mama K instead. That was the first of it since, what, July when I was in Chicago? I'm not asking for the conditions we started with; that'd be too much. But I do need something more than "Let's catch up." I don't want to catch up every time with the person in the role you're supposed to fill.
For probably the last 3 years you have had no idea, no clue about a lot of things that were very important to me. Not at the time, anyway, but sucker that I am, I always oblige and catch you up.
So why say this now? Because there are some things Bob won't respond to and for some f****** up reason, I want to tell you and hear that tone that says "Lea, you know better...but I need more details!"
I love you forever, you know that. But I'll be damned if I don't forget sometimes how irreplaceable I let you become and how much that angers me at times like this.
Love,
Lea
Dear You,
I don't know the feeling (or lack thereof) behind your decency but it's a huge improvement over all that past nastiness and it gives me (perhaps a false) hope that maybe we'll be, if not friends then at least, friendly someday.
-Alea
Last edited by Gravity Defier on Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
Gravity Defier
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Last edited by Gravity Defier on Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
Young Val
- Commander
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:00 pm
- Title: Papermaster
- First Joined: 12 Sep 2000
- Location: from New York City to St. Paul, MN (but I'm a Boston girl at heart).
- Contact:
Dear You,
I can't believe I have to live with you for at least another year. Every time you open your mouth I want to throw things.
I can't believe I have to live with you for at least another year. Every time you open your mouth I want to throw things.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
-
Borommakot_15
- Soldier
- Posts: 126
- Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:09 pm
- Location: Near Cincinnati, Ohio
- Contact:
Dear You,
I probably shouldn't have done that, and I probably shouldn't have said that. I hope that you can forgive me. I will apologize (more or less) in person, later, if I get the chance. I just couldn't wait, any longer, to say I am sorry.
~Dan
Dear You,
I guess the dream came true. True enough, anyway. I'm going to try one more time, but I am more than a little disheartened by your lack of reply.
~Dan
Dear You,
I wish that I could get you a Christmas present, without your feeling bad. I know that you can't get me anything, in return. I also don't care. But, the point is to make you happy, and... if not giving you a gift will make you happier than giving it to you would, then that is what I will do. Even though it hurts.
~Dan
I probably shouldn't have done that, and I probably shouldn't have said that. I hope that you can forgive me. I will apologize (more or less) in person, later, if I get the chance. I just couldn't wait, any longer, to say I am sorry.
~Dan
Dear You,
I guess the dream came true. True enough, anyway. I'm going to try one more time, but I am more than a little disheartened by your lack of reply.
~Dan
Dear You,
I wish that I could get you a Christmas present, without your feeling bad. I know that you can't get me anything, in return. I also don't care. But, the point is to make you happy, and... if not giving you a gift will make you happier than giving it to you would, then that is what I will do. Even though it hurts.
~Dan
PWeb 2.0 Join Date:
October 19 2002, 08:01
October 19 2002, 08:01
-
Young Val
- Commander
- Posts: 3166
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:00 pm
- Title: Papermaster
- First Joined: 12 Sep 2000
- Location: from New York City to St. Paul, MN (but I'm a Boston girl at heart).
- Contact:
Dear You,
If you hate Astoria so much, and you loooooooooooooove Park Slope so much WHY DON'T YOU MOVE THERE!?!?!
I'm sorry, Astoria is too "low-income" for you? WHAT? It's a long-standing FAMILY neighborhood which is rapidly becoming a mecca for NYC's young professionals and post-college kids. It is one of the most popular and lauded restaurant pockets in the entire city, and has it's own wealth of bars, parks, museums, coffee shops, boutiques, and year-round street fairs. It's clean, well-lit, and easily accessible by subway and bus and hell, car if you're so fortunate.
Is it as aesthetically pleasing as Park Slope? No, probably not. I'm sorry if the brick fronts here aren't quite up to your personal preferences. Still, the apartments and houses are clean, well-maintained, and grouped nicely on tree lined streets overlooking the freaking park and the Triborough bridge (which is gorgeous when it's lit up at night and reflected in the river). WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?
Not to mention that our apartment is HUGE; it is positively ORGASMIC with windows and natural light, it is an unheard of THREE BLOCKS from the subway, on an impeccably safe and friendly street, and the entire kitchen is brand new, as are all the hardwood floors. For $1600 a month, which, for those of you who don't live in this city, is unreal for a two-bedroom apartment as spacious and beautiful as ours.
"There's nothing to do here. It's just not cool enough for me." I'm sorry, MAYBE IF YOU EVER WENT ANYWHERE BESIDES YOUR WELL-BEATEN PATH FROM THE APARTMENT TO THE SUBWAY. I had to listen to you bitch for 35 minutes about how you had to go into Manhattan to find a coffee shop with free wi-fi when 1. your bitching session took longer than the actual commute to the city, and 2. THERE ARE THREE COFFEE SHOPS WITH FREE WI-FI ON OUR BLOCK ALONE!
Brooklyn has worn me down. David lived in Prospect Heights and it was gorgeous. I've spent time in Park Slope and it is equally gorgeous. I'm sure that there are lots of other parts of Brooklyn that are great as well. I fully admit that my dislike of Brooklyn came from spending shady evenings at gross, sketchy warehouse parties that sucked in neighborhoods like Bed-Stuy and Williamsburg. And no matter where you live, I still think it's a bitch to get there by subway. But I'll concede on Brooklyn. It's a really great burrough with a lot going on. And I'm fond of it. But at least before I saw the light, and was constantly bitching about Brooklyn, I didn't LIVE THERE.
It wouldn't bother me half so much if you weren't so vocal about how Queens (in general, forget just Astoria) is too POOR for you. WTF.
I hate to remind you honey, but YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB. You got laid off a MONTH ago and haven't so much as dusted off your resume since! Look, it's swell for you that your parents have a bajillion dollars and are totally willing to support you while you "figure out what you really want to do in life" (aka: sit on the couch all day and drop your food on the floor and refuse to take out the trash or do the dishes or even get up to answer the door when the mailman tries for the third day in a row to deliver my package which I can't receive myself since I'm, you know, AT WORK). And sure, your parents will pay your share of the bills for the next year or more or forever, even, so I have no right to complain on that front. But please. It makes me furious to listen to you bitch ceaselessly and crassly about the Greek families (who bust their asses at Othello's Deli to make YOUR freaking egg salad sandwiches) and how they "bring down the neighborhood."
And yes, there's a large part of me that's definitely just frustrated because I'm so envious of people who come from money because I had NOTHING growing up and I barely have anything now. I'm not ashamed to work hard for what I want and need, but people like you who can afford to do whatever they want wherever they want and choose to do nothing but sit in their pajamas all day eating take out and bitching about how the neighborhood they live in is too LOW CLASS FOR THEM makes me want to get seriously violent.
Honestly, go to Brooklyn. If you think I'm going to stop you, you're insane. David will sublet his place and move on in to mine. We've already discussed it, and I cleared the possibility with the landlord before we even renewed our lease. So you go right ahead. You move to Park Slope with your pile of money and your filthy habits and your zero friends and nonexistent work ethic and seriously diminished compassion. Have fun.
I could keep ranting like this for hours. You disgust me.
If you hate Astoria so much, and you loooooooooooooove Park Slope so much WHY DON'T YOU MOVE THERE!?!?!
I'm sorry, Astoria is too "low-income" for you? WHAT? It's a long-standing FAMILY neighborhood which is rapidly becoming a mecca for NYC's young professionals and post-college kids. It is one of the most popular and lauded restaurant pockets in the entire city, and has it's own wealth of bars, parks, museums, coffee shops, boutiques, and year-round street fairs. It's clean, well-lit, and easily accessible by subway and bus and hell, car if you're so fortunate.
Is it as aesthetically pleasing as Park Slope? No, probably not. I'm sorry if the brick fronts here aren't quite up to your personal preferences. Still, the apartments and houses are clean, well-maintained, and grouped nicely on tree lined streets overlooking the freaking park and the Triborough bridge (which is gorgeous when it's lit up at night and reflected in the river). WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?
Not to mention that our apartment is HUGE; it is positively ORGASMIC with windows and natural light, it is an unheard of THREE BLOCKS from the subway, on an impeccably safe and friendly street, and the entire kitchen is brand new, as are all the hardwood floors. For $1600 a month, which, for those of you who don't live in this city, is unreal for a two-bedroom apartment as spacious and beautiful as ours.
"There's nothing to do here. It's just not cool enough for me." I'm sorry, MAYBE IF YOU EVER WENT ANYWHERE BESIDES YOUR WELL-BEATEN PATH FROM THE APARTMENT TO THE SUBWAY. I had to listen to you bitch for 35 minutes about how you had to go into Manhattan to find a coffee shop with free wi-fi when 1. your bitching session took longer than the actual commute to the city, and 2. THERE ARE THREE COFFEE SHOPS WITH FREE WI-FI ON OUR BLOCK ALONE!
Brooklyn has worn me down. David lived in Prospect Heights and it was gorgeous. I've spent time in Park Slope and it is equally gorgeous. I'm sure that there are lots of other parts of Brooklyn that are great as well. I fully admit that my dislike of Brooklyn came from spending shady evenings at gross, sketchy warehouse parties that sucked in neighborhoods like Bed-Stuy and Williamsburg. And no matter where you live, I still think it's a bitch to get there by subway. But I'll concede on Brooklyn. It's a really great burrough with a lot going on. And I'm fond of it. But at least before I saw the light, and was constantly bitching about Brooklyn, I didn't LIVE THERE.
It wouldn't bother me half so much if you weren't so vocal about how Queens (in general, forget just Astoria) is too POOR for you. WTF.
I hate to remind you honey, but YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB. You got laid off a MONTH ago and haven't so much as dusted off your resume since! Look, it's swell for you that your parents have a bajillion dollars and are totally willing to support you while you "figure out what you really want to do in life" (aka: sit on the couch all day and drop your food on the floor and refuse to take out the trash or do the dishes or even get up to answer the door when the mailman tries for the third day in a row to deliver my package which I can't receive myself since I'm, you know, AT WORK). And sure, your parents will pay your share of the bills for the next year or more or forever, even, so I have no right to complain on that front. But please. It makes me furious to listen to you bitch ceaselessly and crassly about the Greek families (who bust their asses at Othello's Deli to make YOUR freaking egg salad sandwiches) and how they "bring down the neighborhood."
And yes, there's a large part of me that's definitely just frustrated because I'm so envious of people who come from money because I had NOTHING growing up and I barely have anything now. I'm not ashamed to work hard for what I want and need, but people like you who can afford to do whatever they want wherever they want and choose to do nothing but sit in their pajamas all day eating take out and bitching about how the neighborhood they live in is too LOW CLASS FOR THEM makes me want to get seriously violent.
Honestly, go to Brooklyn. If you think I'm going to stop you, you're insane. David will sublet his place and move on in to mine. We've already discussed it, and I cleared the possibility with the landlord before we even renewed our lease. So you go right ahead. You move to Park Slope with your pile of money and your filthy habits and your zero friends and nonexistent work ethic and seriously diminished compassion. Have fun.
I could keep ranting like this for hours. You disgust me.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant
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starlooker
- Commander
- Posts: 3823
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:19 pm
- Title: Dr. Mom
- First Joined: 28 Oct 2002
- Location: Home. With cats who have names.
Dear You,
I'm worried.
Really worried.
I don't want to be worried. Maybe there is nothing to be worried about.
We need to talk.
Don't be mad at me for being worried, okay? I love you, but if I had any idea I'd've thought twice. That's a lie. I did have an idea, I did think twice. But my friend talked me into believing I was just making excuses, that the whole thing was in my head. But now you're here and my trash can overfloweth with empties and I'm worried and I don't want to talk myself out of worrying if there is something to be worried about.
Me
I'm worried.
Really worried.
I don't want to be worried. Maybe there is nothing to be worried about.
We need to talk.
Don't be mad at me for being worried, okay? I love you, but if I had any idea I'd've thought twice. That's a lie. I did have an idea, I did think twice. But my friend talked me into believing I was just making excuses, that the whole thing was in my head. But now you're here and my trash can overfloweth with empties and I'm worried and I don't want to talk myself out of worrying if there is something to be worried about.
Me
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...
~~Mary Chapin Carpenter
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Hector.Victorious
- Soldier
- Posts: 112
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2008 5:07 pm
Dear You,
It took me a bit to get it, but I think you might have been asking for my number. all you have to do is ask in a slightly less indirect manner and I'll probably pick up on it. And give it to you.
otoh, never underestimate a man's ability to miss an indirect hint.
It took me a bit to get it, but I think you might have been asking for my number. all you have to do is ask in a slightly less indirect manner and I'll probably pick up on it. And give it to you.
otoh, never underestimate a man's ability to miss an indirect hint.So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
-
steph
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 2454
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:36 pm
- Title: Rocky Mountain Mama
- First Joined: 0- 8-2000
- Location: colorado, baby!
Dear You and You,
Thank you both for what you said about me this week. It's nice that two separate people on two separate days could warm my soul with the nice things they said. I'm going to try my best to believe you both that the things you said were true because I want them to be true and I know you both meant them. Thank you for being my friends. I love you both! And your cute boys too!!
love,
Steph
Thank you both for what you said about me this week. It's nice that two separate people on two separate days could warm my soul with the nice things they said. I'm going to try my best to believe you both that the things you said were true because I want them to be true and I know you both meant them. Thank you for being my friends. I love you both! And your cute boys too!!
love,
Steph
"When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum
-
lyons24000
- Toon Leader
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:46 pm
- Title: Darn Red Shells!
- Location: Texas
- Contact:
-
Gravity Defier
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Dear You,
Adorable avatar and such a great cause for celebration in the sig.
Love,
Me
Dear You,
Nevermind me and Target; I'm being taken care of just fine. If you really, really want to do something I would appreciate, donate here.
-Alea
Adorable avatar and such a great cause for celebration in the sig.
Love,
Me
Dear You,
Nevermind me and Target; I'm being taken care of just fine. If you really, really want to do something I would appreciate, donate here.
-Alea
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
Hector.Victorious
- Soldier
- Posts: 112
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2008 5:07 pm
-
Gravity Defier
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
Dear You,
I'm sorry. I need to say that first because what will shortly follow won't be so nice, but I do need you to know that. I don't want you to think that I like seeing you hurt or upset, because I don't. It really is easy for me, from the safety of my single and childless status, to say what should and should not bother you and I can't say I'd act much different, were I in your position since I just don't know. You did have my sympathy when this mess started back in September.
But hon, you're hurting those kids in a way I don't think they need to be hurt. As a parent, you're going to hurt your children at times...but some of it is out of you doing what you think is best; this is not that.
The oldest looked at me tonight, when you were in the middle of that unnecessary fight (yes, I will be so bold as to say it was completely uncalled for, at least the way you approached it), and he was sad and angry and when he didn't know what to do about that, he lashed out. The scratches on my arm, they'll go away and honestly, I'd let him and his brother -or my nieces- beat the s*** out of me if I thought it was for their own good...but it shouldn't come to that. They shouldn't be hearing and seeing you insult their dad or any of their paternal family members.
Get mad at him, argue, talk, whatever, all you want. But in front of them, keep it civil when you talk about him or us. I'm not saying don't fight in front of them, I'm not sure that's good either...just don't talk us down.
I read to them and played with them. I paid attention to them. I hugged them both nearly to death before you left, like I always do. I tickled a bit and picked them up and twirled them and told them I loved them and basically tried my damnedest to undo some of the anger that you put in them.
They're good, smart kids. Please, for their sake, and even for mine, get a grip. They notice and understand so much more than you give them credit for; all children do.
And while I'm asking for miracles, try to understand not everything that is said in our house is meant as an attack on you. When you're not being all batshit crazy, you're actually amazing to be around. Unfortunately, that hardly ever happens anymore. But hey, you're family and have been for 5 years and, for as little credit as you give us, the fact that you're family means we will go to the end of the Earth for you if you needed it. Don't forget that; it'd be one of the big mistakes of your life.
Love,
Me
I'm sorry. I need to say that first because what will shortly follow won't be so nice, but I do need you to know that. I don't want you to think that I like seeing you hurt or upset, because I don't. It really is easy for me, from the safety of my single and childless status, to say what should and should not bother you and I can't say I'd act much different, were I in your position since I just don't know. You did have my sympathy when this mess started back in September.
But hon, you're hurting those kids in a way I don't think they need to be hurt. As a parent, you're going to hurt your children at times...but some of it is out of you doing what you think is best; this is not that.
The oldest looked at me tonight, when you were in the middle of that unnecessary fight (yes, I will be so bold as to say it was completely uncalled for, at least the way you approached it), and he was sad and angry and when he didn't know what to do about that, he lashed out. The scratches on my arm, they'll go away and honestly, I'd let him and his brother -or my nieces- beat the s*** out of me if I thought it was for their own good...but it shouldn't come to that. They shouldn't be hearing and seeing you insult their dad or any of their paternal family members.
Get mad at him, argue, talk, whatever, all you want. But in front of them, keep it civil when you talk about him or us. I'm not saying don't fight in front of them, I'm not sure that's good either...just don't talk us down.
I read to them and played with them. I paid attention to them. I hugged them both nearly to death before you left, like I always do. I tickled a bit and picked them up and twirled them and told them I loved them and basically tried my damnedest to undo some of the anger that you put in them.
They're good, smart kids. Please, for their sake, and even for mine, get a grip. They notice and understand so much more than you give them credit for; all children do.
And while I'm asking for miracles, try to understand not everything that is said in our house is meant as an attack on you. When you're not being all batshit crazy, you're actually amazing to be around. Unfortunately, that hardly ever happens anymore. But hey, you're family and have been for 5 years and, for as little credit as you give us, the fact that you're family means we will go to the end of the Earth for you if you needed it. Don't forget that; it'd be one of the big mistakes of your life.
Love,
Me
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
neo-dragon
- Commander
- Posts: 2516
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:26 pm
- Title: Huey Revolutionary
- Location: Canada
I read to them and played with them. I paid attention to them. I hugged them both nearly to death before you left, like I always do. I tickled a bit and picked them up and twirled them and told them I loved them and basically tried my damnedest to undo some of the anger that you put in them.
They're good, smart kids. Please, for their sake, and even for mine, get a grip. They notice and understand so much more than you give them credit for; all children do.
And you actually have doubts about what an awesome mother you'd be??
"Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'
-
Jayelle
- Speaker for the Dead
- Posts: 4027
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:32 pm
- Title: Queen Ducky
- First Joined: 25 Feb 2002
- Location: The Far East (of Canada)
Dear you(s),
This thread, especially those addressed to roommates, reminds me of this site: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com
I hope you all enjoy it.
This thread, especially those addressed to roommates, reminds me of this site: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com
I hope you all enjoy it.
One Duck to rule them all.
--------------------------------
It needs to be about 20% cooler.
--------------------------------
It needs to be about 20% cooler.
-
Gravity Defier
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
That's very nice of you to say, but it's easy to be patient and be attentive because I know they'll be going home at some point. Moms don't get that sort of break.
Not really a DY, but a related to my nephews thing...they stopped by again tonight and wanted to borrow a book. Because it was a Powerpuff Girls book, their parents (both) said 'no' and 'When they're decorating your house later in life, we won't be pleased,' insinuating it was a girl book and if they read it, they'll 'turn' gay or something. I gave it to the boys anyway and figured a kid book is a kid book and to hell with their parents.
Not really a DY, but a related to my nephews thing...they stopped by again tonight and wanted to borrow a book. Because it was a Powerpuff Girls book, their parents (both) said 'no' and 'When they're decorating your house later in life, we won't be pleased,' insinuating it was a girl book and if they read it, they'll 'turn' gay or something. I gave it to the boys anyway and figured a kid book is a kid book and to hell with their parents.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
-
Gravity Defier
- Commander
- Posts: 8017
- Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:32 pm
- Title: Ewok in Tauntaun-land
*double-ask-me-if-I-care-post*
Dear You,
If I promise to pack the heaviest coat I own when I run away, will you adopt me? *big eyes* You are quickly becoming the highlight to my otherwise sucky and predictable existence.
I promise, I stick to myself -I can interact if that's welcomed, though- and I'm starting to eat less these days, so you won't need to spend much on food. I also do dishes, walk dogs, babysit...I can sweep, I just have a somewhat hard time with the dustpan for some reason. Um, what else? People like using my head as a resting place for their arms.
Pretty, pretty please?
-Me
Dear You(s),
What do you want from me? And if I can/do give it to you, will you leave me alone? I spent the better part of today practically in a comatose state just thinking about how much it sucks I can't cut all ties and disappear, because lately, it's just too much.
-Me
Dear You,
I'm sorry for not having any tact.
-Me
Dear You,
If I promise to pack the heaviest coat I own when I run away, will you adopt me? *big eyes* You are quickly becoming the highlight to my otherwise sucky and predictable existence.
I promise, I stick to myself -I can interact if that's welcomed, though- and I'm starting to eat less these days, so you won't need to spend much on food. I also do dishes, walk dogs, babysit...I can sweep, I just have a somewhat hard time with the dustpan for some reason. Um, what else? People like using my head as a resting place for their arms.
Pretty, pretty please?
-Me
Dear You(s),
What do you want from me? And if I can/do give it to you, will you leave me alone? I spent the better part of today practically in a comatose state just thinking about how much it sucks I can't cut all ties and disappear, because lately, it's just too much.
-Me
Dear You,
I'm sorry for not having any tact.
-Me
Last edited by Gravity Defier on Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Se paciente y duro; algún día este dolor te será útil.
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