Dear You 2.0

[Eddie Pinz]

Dear Yous,

Those posts made me giggle.

-Had mac and cheese for dinner

[Rei]

Dear you lot,

Please do me a huge favour and slow down. At least one of you is the source of a communication error which has doubled my workload (and very likely left yours quite notably almost unchanged). And you two, you blindsided me with a desire to set in stone the format for the music and I'm still only just figuring out what I'm doing at all. Worst of all, I'm not sure if any of you realise exactly how big this ape on my back is, and you all just keep feeding it more. Please everyone do me a huge favour and just slow down and understand that my expectations of myself are already probably far too high, let alone kicking out what supports I thought I had of time.

~Your music director for Adoration

[powerfulcheese04]

Dear you,

That was super fun and amazing! And I really like you!

<3,
Me




Dear you,

Do not freak out when you find out.

Concerned,
Me

[Wind Swept]

Dear You,

You are an intriguing possibility. And I get the feeling you're having similar thoughts. I very much hope you decide to come to the upcoming gatherings. It would be neat to get to know you better.

Me.

[Rei]

Dear you,

If you are who I think you are, and you wrote that for me to see, please contact me soon. You know where to find me. If I'm not online, my e-mail hasn't changed, and PM works just as well.

~me

[Mich]

Dear you,

Why are "young adults" people from 18 to 22, but "young adult fiction" is for most middle-schoolers?

-Mich

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
My continued apologies. I should be home sometime on Sunday, which means I'll be more readily available then. As it stands, my nephews and SIL are taking up quite a bit of my time. I hope everything is okay.
-Alea

Dear You,
I love you dearly but please stop talking to me about Dad. I don't believe you anymore when it comes to him, which makes me a bit sad. Also, please stop proudly proclaiming that you're going to go crazy this year...I already believe you for all the wrong reasons. Be happy, just be less senile about it.
-Goose

Dear You,
I'm so sorry to say this, because I am in no position to judge...but come on already! You're being pathetic, trying to get into his email and declaring that the fact that he has Facebook (that he has obviously never used) is more proof that he must be cheating or hiding something. Yes, I know, it's a little bit less stalker friendly in that it doesn't tell everyone when you last logged in and that's a GOOD thing but it's really not indicative in and of itself of secrecy and scandal. Back off, would you? Just because your BF is willing to go behind her man's back and read his emails does not make it right for you, or anyone, to do. And stop insulting my family, please. I haven't been a bitch, really and truly, in a while but that doesn't mean I forgot how.
-Alea

Dear Yous,
Goofy cats! Tomorrow we'll go back to the park, and look for more "On your mark, get set, Go!" Balls, and eat a cookie-doughnut, and make (little!) splashes, and spin really fast upside down, and play sword light-sabers, and play Sonic (I'm still the yellow one!), and go see the blue waters, and and and! I love you guys. But do me a favor...stop staring at me in the morning when I wake up; it's startling.
-Auntie Lea

Dear You,
You know why this works for me now? Because I've stopped expecting you to be the friend you once were to me. You don't know a lot of things, a lot of important things, and I know it's easy for anyone outside my family to think they all look the same, but they're not. I've missed you terribly, in a way that can't be described, and will continue to do so, but I won't try, not ever again, to remedy that.
-Alea

Dear Yous,
Good start...but how about you both stick around for more?
-Alea

Dear You,
What kind of adults are 25 year olds?
-Alea

[powerfulcheese04]

Dear You,

I really like talking to you again sometimes! What you're doing is really fascinating to me!

<3,
Kimmie



Dear You,

I also really liking talking to you again! You should be online more often! At least us falling out of contact wasn't really my fault!

<3,
kimmiecat

[Wil]

Dear Almost Everyone,

I understand how there is some animosity towards me. I understand that I am often misunderstood (and then later accused of being contradicting). I understand that some of my past experiences have... tainted my view of specific things. I understand that some of what I believe goes largely against what many of you here believe. What I do not understand, however, is why it is displayed so OPENLY.

It amazes me how I can say something that is neither intentionally insulting nor even remotely hostile and be regarded as such a horrible person, all the while many of you continue to insult and/or reply in open hostility towards me. Even while attempting to defend myself, the state of matters continue to decline and my appearance is diminished even further despite the fact that I have not been purposefully insulting nor hostile in any fashion all the while the same can not be said of others.

Even making simple comments or asking innocent questions many of you seem to take the worst possible meaning and take insult. I fear I could ask "How is the weather?" and you would reply "Are you implying I am a gloomy person because it is cloudy? Did you ask simply to remind me that the weather is bad today and thus rub it in?".

I am quite aware how condescending this sounds, but believe me when I say I am being quite sincere. I did not post this to evoke pity or elicit any sort of response. To see what that looks like coming from me, read virtually every other Dear You/Bob post I've written. Instead, I wrote this in the hopes that it will make some of you aware that while I'm trying my best to remain kind and civil, some of you still assume I am trying to be insulting, hostile, and present a sense of being superior. On the contrary, I write my posts in typically open minded, happy-go-lucky frames of mind and often times make fun of myself.

I would kindly ask that many of you whom have the habit of reading what I say in an insulting and hostile frame of mind step back and take a look at what I say in an unbiased fashion. If I wished to insult any of you I am sure I could come up with much more fun ways to do so, namely of which would involve making use of my vast vocabulary of naughty words. That is not my intention, however, and I would appreciate it if at least a few would at least consider what I have said.

Yours Truly,
Wil

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

I wrote you a letter last week. I don't know if it will ever get to you, or if you will ever read it even if it does, but I do hope my message gets across. I never thought I would write you, or try to contact you whatsoever. Not because I wouldn't want to, but more because the implications of doing so frighten me. They are frightening me now.

There was so much more that I wanted to say to you, but I refused, for fear that my intentions would be misunderstood. I want to tell you how much I miss you, how much I still think about you, and look upon fond memories of us. I want to tell you how deeply I regret the events that happened to bring us to where we are today; even if the end result was inevitable. I want to tell you how deeply I still love you, and always will.

I wanted to tell you how much of you I see in the woman I am seeing now. How her bubbly yet affectionate personality reminds me of you, and how so many qualities that you had have set my benchmark for anyone I see. I want to tell you how happy it would make me to see you succeed in anything you choose to do. Not to mention in anyone you choose to be with. I want to tell you how badly I wish I could have you back in my life, and yet how vehemently I would push to ensure that never happens.

Above all else, though, I want you to know that I still love you, with all my heart. I want you to know that I am deeply sorry for anything and everything I ever did to hurt you. And I want you to know that after all this time, I am finally able to forgive you - regardless of how much sooner I probably should have.

Love always,
Cam

[zeroguy]

Dear Wil,

If you want to get people to stop being so hostile to you, here's at least one possible idea (maybe not the best idea, maybe not even something I do, but it's an idea):

If you ask

"How is the weather?"

someone responds

"Are you implying I am a gloomy person because it is cloudy? Did you ask simply to remind me that the weather is bad today and thus rub it in?"

Try not responding in any way at all. Or try saying simply "no". Or hey, even try apologize for giving that impression even if you didn't mean it (even if it's completely unreasonable for someone to expect you do, even if it's all their fault).

I cannot understand your desire to reply to some posts, honestly.

-me

[Gravity Defier]

[Confessions]

Dear You,

It's been a year and a half since that day. I will never forget it. Thank you.

-me

[human.]

Hey..
I haven't been here much at all for a while, but I do owe you an apology. I didn't make the connection of dates and when I read your e-mail, I felt really bad. I hope you'll forgive me, but I understand if you won't. I know this is late, and I have no excuse. But I'm saying this now. I'm sorry that I chose that day; I truly made no connection when I committed that action. Though I don't think you're too fond of what I did in the first place, anyway. I just felt like I needed to move past things and that seemed like a way to do it.
-human.

Dear Pweb,
I just wanted to say thanks. I've met some really interesting people through this community. Some that have changed my life. Joining at the age that I did, I was still (and still am) growing. Everything was changing and it was nice to know there was something stable to come home to every day. I mainly read and participated in the chat, and rarely posted, but I still enjoyed the atmosphere of this community. Anyway, I currently talk daily with a semi-member (he's never really been active) and I don't know what I'd do if he were not in my life. So, my happiness is owed to the existence and the allure of this community; therefore, I want to say thanks!
-human.

[Derwyddon]

Dear you,

please stop jumping off things and bashing your face open. it scares me and makes me all sorts of upset inside. you're 2 i have no idea how you get on top of some of the things you do

[Borommakot_15]

Dear You,

Yes. I walked away and left you. No, I didn't tell you. No, I don't feel bad.

I have waited on you... 2 and 3 times a week... for the last 6 months. With one or two exceptions, none of those times has been less than a half an hour wait. And, I am sick of it.

I am tired of being treated like nothing more than a meal ticket.. a sounding board.. the one who helped you with your problems, when you would have gone without food for a week to pay your bills, when you would have lost your job, when you thought your brother was going to kill you because he took himself off of his medication.

I am tired of being treated like a second rate friend. I am tired of having a one way friendship. I am tired of being used.

You don't ask how I am doing.. You walk up half an hour late, you start talking.. you stop to ask if we are going to dinner.. And then you resume talking and venting and ranting for the next hour or two before we part ways. You don't even say thank you.. You don't seem to even care.

You want my friendship back? Act like a friend back.

~Dan


Dear You,

Despite you doing all of this, I do forgive you.. I needed to blow off this steam, but I do forgive you. Please forgive me for being frustrated with you, even if I had cause.

~Dan

[Borommakot_15]

Dear You,

Yes. I walked away and left you. No, I didn't tell you. No, I don't feel bad.

I have waited on you... 2 and 3 times a week... for the last 6 months. With one or two exceptions, none of those times has been less than a half an hour wait. And, I am sick of it.

I am tired of being treated like nothing more than a meal ticket.. a sounding board.. the one who helped you with your problems, when you would have gone without food for a week to pay your bills, when you would have lost your job, when you thought your brother was going to kill you because he took himself off of his medication.

I am tired of being treated like a second rate friend. I am tired of having a one way friendship. I am tired of being used.

You don't ask how I am doing.. You walk up half an hour late, you start talking.. you stop to ask if we are going to dinner.. And then you resume talking and venting and ranting for the next hour or two before we part ways. You don't even say thank you.. You don't seem to even care.

You want my friendship back? Act like a friend back.

~Dan


Dear You,

Despite you doing all of this, I do forgive you.. I needed to blow off this steam, but I do forgive you. Please forgive me for being frustrated with you, even if I had cause.

~Dan

[Wil]

Being me, I would ask and assume what you were trying to move past, of course wondering if it was related to me, and I would then say there is no need to apologize, for it is just a useless date after all. However, having taken a great nap on that response and how it made me feel, I have decided that neither of those two actions would mean anything to you and so I am not going to humor you with either one. Instead, I am going to say that I acknowledge your response but have written it off as inconsequential.

Have a lovely night.

[Confessions]

Dear you all,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

me

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
I don't know why you think you're in this alone. My heart breaks a little every time yours does. I'm sorry this happened; I, too, thought this one might be different. I just want you to find peace and happiness. Away from this person, away from dad, or from any other person, including any of us.

You had a small taste of how wonderful things can be. Why let this stop that?

Love,
Your daughter

[v-girl]

Dear you,

I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said. I think you only said it in passing and maybe didn't mean anything by it, but it just made me feel crappy. Of course I'm not the only one stressed out. I know that everyone in our class is worried about this block. I really hate that I can't tell you how stressed I am without getting some comment like this back. You, of all people. You freak out of the most, you know that right? I really worry about you when we get close to exams. Sometimes your mindset the night before a big test really scares me. And yet you can't take 5 seconds to really listen and just tell me it's going to be okay. That's all I needed to hear from you.

I let the moment pass when you said this but now I wish I hadn't, because maybe this is not what you meant at all.

Love,
Me

[Jayelle]

Dear you random strangers on the bus,

Feel free to admire my child. Feel free to ask her name, age and weight. Tell me she's adorable.
HOWEVER, you may not offer parenting advice.
When my daughter is crying, you may not tell me that
a) she doesn't need that soother (it soothes her and I am not using it as a "baby plug")
b) she is "probably hungry" (Oh, thank you so much, I am such a terrible parent that I am unaware that she's hungry! I'm on my way home to feed her right now, dumbass)
c) her wrap is too tight/too loose/will not support her once she gets older
d) ask me if she's "sleeping through the night" (she's SIX weeks old, she needs to eat at least every 4 hours. Of course she doesn't sleep through the entire night)
e) you have 300 kids and they all were perfect.
f) she shouldn't be riding the bus at her age (and how exactly am I supposed to get anywhere?)
I have plenty of people in my life giving me advice that I actually know, not to mention all the books I've read and research I've done. I do not need a random stranger telling me how to raise my child.

NO love,
Mother of One.

[Olhado_]

Dear you random strangers on the bus,

HOWEVER, you may not offer parenting advice.

I think I know someone, who will agree with you. She is a mother of 3 teenagers and mentions she occasionally gets advice from a young woman, who does not have kids; but has opinions about how to raise them.

[Gravity Defier]

Dear You,
I think I was in shock when I replied to you. Not big, whoa-my-god shock, but shock nonetheless. I'm sorry I make you sad, but even more, I'm sorry that you were sad without my help. I think that's part of the problem of me being on Pweb. It's like I told you...I just need somewhere to let it out, before it becomes worse than it is, so that I can get at least momentary relief.

I've been thinking, a lot (because what the hell else can I do with so much free time?) and I've realized how depressing I must come off as being. If it got your attention...

Oh, but you should see me. The problems are always with me, but they're not all that I am.

I laugh. Almost every single day, I laugh over something. I'm talking the good kind of laugh where you throw your head back without realizing it and your sides hurt and you can't breathe, you're laughing so hard. And I smile. A lot more than people might think. Not all day, every day or for hours on end. But I flash a smile to every stranger I walk or run past. I smile every time I see my dog, who insists on being the first 'person' I see when I wake up every day. I smile when I step out into the sun for the first time on any given day. I tell jokes (albeit terrible, 80s style, horrifically corny ones) and listen to jokes. I randomly start dancing or doing jazz hands/spirit fingers. And I have a good heart; maybe not the biggest and best in the brain department, but I care. A lot. About more than I should, perhaps. If you'd like it to, that could include you.

I promise you, you don't need to be sad for me. I honestly don't know about what's plaguing you, either because I haven't been paying attention or because you haven't mentioned it. You know how to PM me if you ever need/want to. And thank you for your offer; that was really sweet.

Take care, be well, and smile often.

-Alea

[locke]

Dear You,

yeah you made my life great and you also made it horrible. but it's time for your damn negativity to get the hell out of my brain and emotions. Why did you want so badly to hold me back? Would it have killed you to give me one bit of encouragement? one word of praise? one helpful comment? I know you were trying to drive me away from the beginning because you didn't think you deserved a guy like me, and you thought you could protect me by making me hate you but I still don't hate you. I just don't feel anything towards you anymore, except for resentment for two wasted years and resentment at myself for not finding a different group of friends. I had a good start until I met you, then I was along for the ride. I feel like I kind of want my life back for those first three years of college. and I sort of just realized that I don't feel that about any of the rest of my life, no matter how lazy or unproductive, I was satisfied and happy much of the time, but I feel as though someone else was in control when I knew you and that freaks me out. I now have even stronger attachment problems because of it. Ugh. You. Out of my head. out of my life. out of influence. I just want to feel me again, and at least I feel that way at work and when I'm writing, but every time I start climbing a ladder to achieve something I hear your admonitions and criticisms whispering at me, telling me its not worth it, laughing silently at my struggles and downplaying any success as immaterial or just a ridiculous venture in the first place. Your whisperings are from here on gone. I banish them. Out out damned wench.

[Luet]

Dear you,
I know it's only been a day since you left but I have a terrible feeling that our 11 year friendship is over, for all intents and purposes. It has weathered so much but it just might be that you aren't up for the challenge of being the friend of a seriously depressed person. I don't blame you, it's a difficult task. I haven't shown you much of the depression in the past but it is hard to effectively hide when you are here in person for that long. If it's true that it's over, I will mourn the loss with all my heart.

love,
macaroni

[Eaquae Legit]

Dear You,

That hurt. I don't know what I did, not to deserve that. And I know it was just a bad mood and you didn't mean it, and you felt bad enough after that you were crying some, but... what if I was the cause of the bad mood? What the HECK happened? I feel guilty and confused and I... no, mostly just confused. And I know bugging you about it will only bug you more, so I let it drop but that leaves me in Uncertainty Land.

So I'll go with the tears, tell myself that you were just antsy to go home, and try to stop being so paranoid.

Darnit and just when I was starting to get over the paranoia.

[Borommakot_15]

Dear you,

I have always been a 'three strikes, and you are out' kinda guy. Maybe not the most logical thing ever, maybe not as forgiving as I should be, but is what I have done most of my life.

So, even if you aren't counting, I am.

I am counting, and that's two.

In case you cannot figure it out, that means this is your last chance.

Don't screw it up, huh?

~Dan

[Mich]

Dear you,

I'm sorry that I find it hard to express sympathies when you complain about being stuck at home because you thought we were going to just hang out and have fun, but then I ended up doing something else, because you "do something else" all the time when we have actually planned on doing something fun.

And yet the fact that I'll probably feel comfortable enough to tell you this tomorrow pretty much forgives any annoyances I'm feeling right now.

-Jeff

[Jayelle]

Dear Manitoba Comic-Con goers,

If this is a comic and sci-fi convention, why are some of you in Ren Faire costumes?

-confused attendee

[Rei]

I think a con is generally seen as an excuse to wear a costume. If you can't find something relevant, then any costume will do.

[Jayelle]

But... but... it's NOT relevant!!

[Rei]

I'm with you, really. I blame madness.

[Dr. Mobius]

Madness?

This. Is. SPARTA!

[Rei]

Dear you,

I have to wonder what you mean when you say your friends are all that is keeping you sane right now. I've seen you, what, twice since I got back from England in August? And not for want of suggesting we go out and do things, either. You always say you're booked up for the next few months and won't be able to see anybody at all because school is kicking your ass so much. But when I see you posting lj, you seem to be up to doing things with other people. Just not me when I ask you. Is it that they're more disrespectful of your need to be introverted and work on school and force you to get out more, or is it that you just prefer to be around them and only want to see me once every few months? Either way it's frustrating.

~me