Dear You 2.0

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for me.
I'm sorry for him.
I'm sorry for us.
I'm sorry for you (two).

I'm sorry for the things that I did.

I'm sorry for the things that you did and know you regret. And I'm sorry for the things I only wish you did.

I'm sorry for everything.

I'm sorry.
I'll always love you.

--Me

Dear Yous,

I can't figure you out. I can't get reads on you because you're so scared to give them. It's really quite frustrating, because I know what I have...and what I'm putting there...and I think I know what you want to put out there. But it's frustrating that you keep hiding them.

But, I guess that's where the fun lies, no?

--Cam

[eriador]

Dear You,
I adore you too.

[Young Val]

dear you,

i just wanted to put it out there that i thought of you on the subway this morning, and yes, i cried. only a little bit. but enough. i haven't cried in a while (meaning a week or so). i don't know how to accept a reality without you. i miss you so much. i replay our old morning routine in my mind. hit snooze, snuggle, shower, make coffee, light breakfast, click-click, kiss. sometimes the mornings were the best. i still love you.

-Kel

[Miss Abbie]

Dear You,

I thought you might listen, but I'm too afraid to interrupt and tell you, so...

This is the end of my little winter vacation. Tomorrow I'm up at four a.m. and in the car, back with everyone I love by two in the afternoon--sort of, I don't know who's going to be there, exactly. Probably Darren will be at his house.

God.

Darren.

A few weeks ago we had this awful awful awful falling out where he told me that I was crazy and dead and all this great crap and then he blocked me and I'm not stupid enough to think that he would answer if I tried to call him. I don't even know what I did to make him angry, except to maybe suggest that he didn't really know what love is seeing as he's FIFTEEN YEARS OLD.

...on re-reading the conversation, I also mentioned about how he did s*** with multiple girls while we were still together. He didn't like that very much, either. What I have to say about that is

I'm not the one who did it.

That talk, it ended in him saying that he didn't want to know me anymore and that he didn't care enough to feel either love or hate toward me. And of course I, being so skilled in the ways of melodrama, said

I never knew you at all, Darren.

Well. I'm not really sure of why I said it other than it sort of turned from Abbie giving Darren a reality check into ex-lovers making a big scene out of something that really wasn't anything at all. When you're playing the part, you've got to play the part, you know.

And so then he blocked me.

Now what do I do?

I miss him so much. I don't know why. I'm so stupid for missing him. I hated being with him. I hated talking to him so much and still I'm missing him. It's like he actually meant something to me. Who knows, maybe he did. Did he? Did he?

My dad says,

Aww, your first love.

I don't know if I ever loved him. If I had to give an answer, I'd say no, I think. Maybe it's just that I'm bitter now.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I just want to be able to stop thinking about him. He doesn't mean anything to me. He DOESNT MEAN anything to me anymore. He's not allowed to. It's not fair.

I've been listening to The Red Paintings a lot recently. Especially their older-ish music is a lot sadder than Walls. Angel Flummox.

God, Angel Flummox.

That's Darren.

School. I'll go back to school and everything will be better, I hope.

Honorable mentions on the People Abbie Misses This Month List (no small feat, with Darren sitting on top): you, my big brother, big hegemon john, little john, patrick, tan (yeah, I know), jay, patrick, patrick, patrick, patrick, patrick...

-me

[luminousnerd]

Dear you,
I want to blame you so badly, but it was my fault. It was my decision to put it up, it was my fumbling of words that caused it to happen a second late. I made accusations I shouldn't have made. I didn't accuse you, but I might have. I'm glad I didn't. I did in my head. But now I don't. I still want to, desperately, along with a hundred other things, and tons of things I myself did that I want to trace back to whoever inspired me to do them. But I made all the decisions, and in the end, it was my fault. Besides, maybe it's not so bad anyway. It's hard to say goodbye, but I'm sure the new will be even better than the old. It always has been for me. Mostly.

I'm more than halfway to my goal, so it's going to happen anyway. This is only a minor setback, really.

*sigh*.

[lovesonia]

Dear You,

Get itunes back in order. When that's done get whatever Everly Brothers cd that suits you best but most importantly, get "All I Have To Do Is Dream." Try not to put it on repeat TOO often, okay?

-Yourself
~~~~~

Dear You,

Things will work themselves out. Just give it time. You can vent to me anytime you want. Don't worry, I won't get annoyed. You're like a sister to me and I want to be there for you. I know it's tough but just hang in there a little bit longer.

Love,
Nikki
~~~~

Dear You,

I need to talk to you but every time I think I'm ready you're having a tough enough time and I don't want to make it worse... It's really important, and it's a really big deal. Please settle your stuff soon so I don't have to spring it on you as I'm ready to head out the door.
I love you, I'll miss you, but this is something I need to do. If I don't do this now, I'll keep putting it off and that simply cannot happen.

Love,
Nik
~~~

Dear You,

Tell him you like him. I don't know him as well as you do but I know he likes you. Don't waste what time you have.

Love,
Nikki
~~

Dear You,

The Colts won today. I was hoping they wouldn't, but they did. Congrats on calling that one.
I'm sorry that I've been so distant. I'm terribly distracted, for reasons I can't explain to you just yet. Give me just a little more time to gather my thoughts and make the decision, please.

-N

[eriador]

Dear You,

I need you so that I could die
I love you so and that is why
Whenever I want you, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

Why is this so perfect?
-me

Dear You,

I'm stuck. You want me to get with Emily, yet you say that if we get together you'll feel useless, and that you'll want to go away, and I can't stand for that. So I'm stuck. I can't go after Emily, and risk losing you, and I can't go after yo, as you're currently 10 hours away. Maybe things will change if you come up here. But for now, I'm stuck. You can't go away. I really like you, I do, and I can't see you go away. You're not allowed to run away, to leave, to abandon me. I just want help.

-me

[ValentineNicole]

Dear you,
What the hell is wrong with you? He's MY boyfriend. You HAVE a significant other. Go away.

[human.]

Dear you,

You sure know how to make life interesting... and very confusing. But why did you have to come at this time! Just a little before or a few months after would've been nice. I'm not saying I don't want you in my life, I just wish you had picked a better time to make your entrance. My future was set and perfect (well, it was less-foggy at least), but now.. now I have to question and rethink everything. I suppose that's not too horrible, but any decision I make will hurt someone. You said that things may work out in the end, can you wait until then?

-me

Dear you,

Thanks for all of your support, I'm so very happy to have you to talk to.

-me

[Miss Abbie]

Dear you,

It’s me again. I know this isn’t the time or the place, but here I am anyway. This is the sort of stupidity you must have come to expect from me by now,

After all these years.

It seems like every day now a million billion relationships that aren’t scream and stretch for me from the corners, from just where I can’t see them. I can feel them though. God, can I feel them. Relationships that were, that might have been, that could be, that never ever have a chance of being, they all are tearing for me.

I’m listening to Talking of Michelangelo because of Patrick. His favorite color was neon green. Is that why mine became neon green at that time? I don’t remember, I don’t remember very much about then, and I don’t remember why I ever started liking neon green. Was that it? Was it? What is it with me and him? What the hell is it? Is it just a crush? A crush? I haven’t seen him in years. I haven’t seen him in a forever and still I think about him so much. Still that possibility is calling for me. Maybe it just hurts that I never really got to know him. Janie, she knew, she knew, she must have known, she must have. There was something there, there must have been something there. Right? It wasn’t a crush, it wasn’t. It was something different. It is something different. What, though? What? Why isn’t it good enough to have the people that I have? Is there anyone here that I’m going to feel this way about in two years? God. For just a moment I wish I never knew him at all. Then I think better, but why is it better? Why? Why, why, why, why I hate not knowing this. I hate not knowing this.

I hate not knowing him.

Little ass John, I left him a quick message on instant messenger. It said that I missed him a little, that I was sorry we hadn’t talked. He sent me back something so mean. I don’t know what I did wrong. I don’t know what I did wrong. He said that he missed me but not my “fucking attitude.” What attitude? Maybe I am full of myself for thinking this, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have one… It was strange, it was strange. I don’t know what I did wrong.

Trash. I’ve been falling in love with Trash more and more, every time I read something he’s written, every time I find out something little about him, I just want to know him and it’s pathetic and it’s embarrassing—please don’t tell anyone, don’t tell anyone any of this. He’s so real and he’s such a person but he’s forever and ever and half a world away. God I just want to talk to him, just for a little while. I just want to hear him talk is what I mean, I guess.

I don’t talk much anymore.

Only to you and only where you don’t read it.

-me

[lovesonia]

Dear You,

I'm breaking my bedtime rule by 5 minutes, but it's worth it.
Je t'aime.

[eriador]

Dear You,
You are amazing. I love you a million times over.
*kiss*

-me

Dear You,
I know I didn't need your permission at all, but somehow you gave me what I needed. Thank you so much, even if you did very little. Sometimes I need that. You're a great guy.

-me

[starlooker]

Dear You,

If you'd done it the first time -- like I asked you -- you wouldn't have this problem, now would you?

Your inner mother

[daPyr0x]

Dear You,

this is for you.

You may never fully understand it, or understand the significance to me, but there it is. Take it or leave it. I can't take it back now.

--Cam

Dear You(s),

Just....if you can't say something positive....don't say anything at all. This is me at my most vulnerable....I cannot take negativity, even if it's supposed to be helpful.

--daP

[Jayelle]

Dear you,

That's stupid. Just stay for the one thread.

-JL

[eriador]

Dear you,
It's hard to not be able to talk to you. Please, come back. I love you.
*hug*

-Sethy

[lovesonia]

Dear You,

http://www.xkcd.com/c99.html

It's so cute it made me laugh so I'm pretty sure it'll make you laugh, too.

Love,
Nikki
~~~~
Dear You,

I've been listening to "To Know Him Is To Love Him" ever since looking at those pictures. It's really helped. I love you but next time you'll have to actually be here to deal with me crying my eyes out if you post a link like that. Deal?

Love,
Nikki

[Wil]

Dear You,

I hope you read this, and I hope you understand what you are reading. It's not as if I intended for this to happen. I didn't intent to make you feel the way that you do. I will not apologize for the way that I feel, and neither of us should be sorry for it either. What I am sorry about is the pain this will cause, and I hope you will forgive me for this alone. I will sit for as long as it takes, and I will stand by you despite the choices you make.

-me

[Petra456]

Dear you,

Ok, it's 2am and you're not around. This means i'm bored out of my mind and have no one to tell this to. Where are you?

- Fred


Dear you,

Forget it.

- nicole

[lovesonia]

Dear You,

I woke up at 5:45 am and couldn't stay in bed so I've been here since 6. Hurry up and wake up, please. If you don't I'm gonna hafta call you to say good morning and I'm sure you wouldn't like that, what with the being woken up thing and having to get your phone. That or I'd leave a message complaining that you didn't answer. That wouldn't be cool. You know how I feel about leaving messages AND it's a pointless message, too.


Meow ...................... Hurry up!

If you get up while I'm downstairs grabbing a cup of tea and breakfast I'm definitely calling to bug you.


Love you.

Love,
Nikki

[Dr. Mobius]

Dear you,

I was exhausted and went straight to bed last night. You weren't on the night before though, so we're even now.

- Doc

[peterlocke123]

Dear you,

I think that while I was thinking of asking you, you were thinking of asking me. When you asked me before I asked you, I was amazed. That was only the 4th time someone's done that for me. I can't wait until next time. I think that this could last for a long time if we make the most of it.

Thinking of you,

Loo^2


Dear you,

What's diferent between us? How come this year can't be the same as the end of last year? I really want it to be, but it seems like we're growing apart.

Love,

Loo^2

[Eaquae Legit]

Dear You,

I'm looking forward to seeing you. I even cleaned my room for you! Swept, even!

--Ali


Dear you,

Why? For months I saw you on my floor. Now I need you, and you are NOWHERE to be found. I even remember thinking "I should put that somewhere safe so when I need it I can find it." I should never listen to myself when I say that. Feck. Please reveal yourself?

-- Me

[eriador]

Dear You,
Something about having you around, accessible, and willing to talk is wonderful. I don't have enough people like you in my life. You're so sweet and kind I hardly know what to do with myself half of the time. I just wish that we could be together. This whole 10 hours apart thing is a bit of a drag. I really hope that we can get together soon. I love you.
-Sethy

Dear You,
You're so sweet I can't just write you one love note. I love every little sweet thing that you do.
Love,
-Sethy

[eriador]

Dear You,
A couple of things: first off, I'm sorry I didn't come back last night after my internet died. I hope you didn't miss me too much. I love you, but I had to get my beauty sleep. We aren't gonna be able to talk much today, I have a bunch of classes that I can't use the computer in, then lacrosse after school, then LJP when I get home. As much as I'd love to talk to you, I can't. I hope you have a nice day.

Love
-Seth

[lovesonia]

Dear You,

I miss you terribly. I know, I'm so damn silly. A couple hours of actively missing you and all the hours I slept dreaming about you seemed to have combined into one big I Miss You. I think I'll live, though, so that's definitely a good thing. *thumbs up* Don't work too hard/get in too much trouble today.

Love and miss you.

Love,
Nikki
~~~~~
Dear You,

I went outside last night before going to bed and the sky was SO beautiful. I wish you could've seen it. I saw T-rexes in the clouds slipping past the moon. It was really cool the way some were dark dark clouds that blocked out the moonlight and then some were light so the moonlight came through. Really pretty. It made me think of your description of the skies the other night... no moon, enough cloud so that only the constellations came through. We definitely need to get in the habit of taking walks at night.

Love,
Nikki
~~~~
Edit: added on due to lack of wanting to double post...

Dear You,

Why did you have to crack? I've only had you for four years and I'm not ready for my other jewelry. I'm not even able to use the jewelry that I had in before! I can't afford to buy another pair, let alone wait two blasted weeks for you to get here from Canada. How rude. You suck.

-your very unhappy owner
~~~
Dear You,

I really want to accept the job but you want a a long-term employee and I'm not planning on sticking around for much longer. I'm sorry, really I am. I would love working there. It would definitely be helpful to know all that I'd learn there.

I guess I'll go in later today or tomorrow and tell you. I really wish I could accept, though.

-me
~~
Dear You,

Okay, yeah, this not talking thing is bad. All the music I wanna listen to... Guess who it reminds me of. Yeah, you.

I love you.

Love,
Nikki

[eriador]

Dear You,
I'm sorry that I can't talk to you more. If the music is so hard for you, you should find other music. I'm gonna go to lacrosse soon, so I won't be here to help you out. Sorry about that. How about tonight we take a walk? We could catch up about our day and all that. I hope that sounds good to you. Not too long though, 'cause I'm gonna be tired after lacrosse.

Je t'aime aussi.
-Sethy

P.S. You're gonna have to tell me the story about the jewelry soon. Okay? And the job.

[Miss Abbie]

Dear you,

You were gorgeous at lunch today. It's so good to see you just being engaged in conversation, the way that you nod your head and smile and laugh. You really care about what people are saying--it's so wonderful, how much attention you give to everything.

You are so beautiful.

You make me terribly jealous.

-not rectory

[powerfulcheese04]

Dear You Two,

Get a room. By which I mean get a PM Box. For serious. This isn't the place for that.

--Cranky Old Lady Who Is Too Young To Be A Cranky Old Lady

[Eaquae Legit]

Dear you,

You forgot to add "gerroffa my lawn!"

-- Also cranky old lady

[VelvetElvis]

Dear you,

Glad somebody said it.

- me

[hive_king]

dear you,

*beats seth with cane*

-me

[lovesonia]

Dear Yous,

Thanks. Also, it amuses me that just yesterday I was going through the archives and saw a post saying something quite similar to others. I wasn't under the impression that ours were all that bad, compared to what was happening on Pweb 2.0

My apologies.
-Nicole

*edit* Dear All of Yous,

Would you please NOT cane Seth.

Thank you.
-Nicole

[hive_king]

Dear you,

Fine, I won't cane your boyfriend anymore.

*hands cane to Helen*

-Me

[VelvetElvis]

Dear you,

No thanks, I have my own anti-fetus weapon. On second thought...

*grabs the cane and beats them both*

Look, you can suffer TOGETHER!

--abusive for trival reasons me