The New Geek Jokes Thread

Talk about anything under the sun or stars - but keep it civil. This is where we really get to know each other. Everyone is welcome, and invited!
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neo-dragon
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Postby neo-dragon » Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:50 pm

Dispute it all you want ladies but you're still evil, so live with it... Actually, we're the ones who have to live with it. :(

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Postby Jebus » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:02 am

Haha, that women = evil joke kills me every time.

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neo-dragon
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Postby neo-dragon » Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:02 pm

This one's for the biochemists/molecular biologists/lab technicians etc.

PCR
"Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'

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Postby v-girl » Sun Jan 20, 2008 7:36 am

Haha.

"It's amazing what heating and cooling and heating can do"

Hilarious.

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Postby eriador » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:08 pm

OMG that's genius. "PCR when you need to find out who the dad is. PCR when you need to solve a crime."

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Postby zeroguy » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:50 am

What is wrong with you biologists?
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Postby neo-dragon » Mon Feb 04, 2008 5:36 am

lol. I knew about the Sonic Hedgehog gene, but not the pokemon one.
"Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."
- Frank Herbert's 'Dune'

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Postby Dr. Mobius » Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:44 pm

The enemy's fly is down.
Image

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Postby BonitoDeMadrid » Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:46 am

Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do!

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Postby wizzard » Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:17 am

A woman in liquor production
Owns a still of exquisite construction.
The alcohol boils
Through magnetic coils.
She says that it's "proof by induction."

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane

A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

If a pendulum's swinging quite free
Then it's always a marvel to me
That each tick plus each tock
Of the grandfather clock
Is 2 pi root L over g.
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zeroguy
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Postby zeroguy » Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:40 am

I'm digging the "proof by induction" one.

Little Timmy drank some water
but Little Timmy won't drink no more,
because what Little Timmy thought was water
was really H2SO4.
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Postby fawkes » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:22 am

I guess this is as good a place as any to post this.

Karaoke for the Deaf, ultimate version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0hAUN4bYVk

If you haven't seen it, the original is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmcTuqZC ... re=related

This always makes me laugh so hard.
Last edited by fawkes on Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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zeroguy
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Postby zeroguy » Sat Feb 16, 2008 3:01 am

Ah, reminds me: I think I've posted the Klein Four Group's Finite Simple Group before, but apparently not in this thread. I still don't get at least half of the jokes, but it's still fun.

Edit: Reviewing the rest of this thread has me reading bash.org again. This one always gets me.
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Postby Borommakot_15 » Fri Nov 21, 2008 9:53 pm

*bump*

"An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers."

I enjoyed that joke so much, I had to find this thread.
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Postby Slim » Fri Mar 20, 2009 5:00 pm

*bump*

I came up with this joke a while back, and then I realized how few people would understand it... I've only not had to explain the joke once.

The way I see it, there are only a billion types of people in the world...
Those that understand little-endian storage, and those that don't.
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Postby zeroguy » Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:58 pm

hah; I have not heard that. Much better than the "10 people/binary" one.

Shouldn't it be around 512 or 33554432, though? (or 131072, or whatever)
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Postby lyons24000 » Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:58 pm

I thought this one was the best.

"If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw."
"This must be the end, then."-MorningLightMountain, Judas Unchained

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Postby Slim » Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:47 am

Yes, I based it off the 10/binary one. You see, that one the joke says "ten" when really it is two. Similar to that, this joke you say "a billion" instead of "five hundred and twelve." Yes, perhaps strange I am only using a 2-byte storage space, but "billion" has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
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