Our roles in our respected social circles.

[Locke_]

Some part of my suppressed self has come up. The part obsessed with Dawson's Creek... teen melodramas in general. That's what lead to this.

What role do you tend to play in your relationships with your friends, siblings, crushes, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouses, etc? Mainly I'm thinking of your groups of friends, but it can work any way.

And more interestingly, imo, what role do you wish you played.

I'm a good guy. I know who I am and I'll play it like it is. I tend to not play a conscious role these days. It's something my former self (my "Phaedrus" if you're familiar with the reference) would have been more conscious of and worried about.

However, a lot of times I wish I could be that wise sage. That character on a show who's not so much a focus but makes a lot of special guest appearances. The kind of person who goes and does as he pleases, but his acquaintances always seek him out for advice and guidance. I tend to have and enjoy that role, but not so much in the extreme I'm talking about.

Then sometimes I wish I could be that bad boy. That seductful guy who could get chicks but doesn't really give a crap, which the chicks dig so much more. Point of information, I've tried the oc ryan atwood routine back in the day and I tend to think it does not work. At least not in my college... way to constructed and molded and conservative.

So what role do you tend to play? Do you find yourself happy with your role or wishing that you could be someone else, yet you know you can't because it's just not you? Maybe that's why I seek out those other stereotypes so much.

Then again I find myself playing the roles I've daydreamed about playing. I've noticed thinking back on a moment, "hey I was like the person I imagine being without even being conscious of it." Could it be that the desire to have a role around a social spectrum can be affected by your subconscious desire after you stop thinking about it so much?

Whats everyone think. Apologies if this doesn't make sense or no one else thinks about these things, but I figure there's no better place to post about it.

[Dr. Mobius]

I just try to be me. Although I've noticed I do act a little differently with different people. It all depends on which part of me is needed, I guess.

Being a bit of a loner when I was younger, I kinda evolved into a bit of a social chameleon. I could fit just about any role if I had to. Although once I find my niche in a group, I tend to fall back and become me again.

As for the role I wish to play, I still just want to be me. Even when I play RP games, my characters tend to end up being fairly close to me.

[ValentineNicole]

I watch myself play several roles that aren't really completely "me" at times..
I tend to play really coy. Flirt a lot, give seductive glances, act "cute", etc
Also, I'll occasionally play blonde - ditzy, giddy, bubbly, way too energetic, obsessed with shopping, etc
I don't know. People like me best in those roles. They're safe. Easily dominated. *shrugs*

[Dr. Mobius]

Hm, I'm starting to think I've never seen the real Nic since I tend to think of you as a flirty blonde.


And shouldn't the thread title be "respective" instead?

[ValentineNicole]

Very few people really, completely see me as who I am. I'm the kind of girl who enjoys a damn good action movie ten billion times better than a cheesy chick flick. I enjoy movies just in general. I watch tons - more than I think most people could fathom. I love old movies. I have an infatuation with them - the timeless beauty of it all, like a revered piece of art. I love dance. I danced my entire life, though I never was able to accomplish much. I love to act. More than ANYTHING, I love to act. I generally just love expressing myself creatively. I like to write, to draw, to totally pour myself into anything and see what comes of it.
When I'm hugely comfortable, I'm a total goofball. I have a tendancy to do and say the most random things, and to act ridiculus just for the sake of having fun. I don't care what other people think. I'm extremely playful. I'm also extremely affectionate - both in a relationship and with friends. I have a tendancy to be hugely loyal to my friends. I'd do nearly anything for them. I'm also easily mistaken for a pushover, because I understand the value of treating people really well. I know my lines, however, and I'm not afraid to draw them and tell people what's on my mind. I'm a good person to keep around, because I'm one of those people you can talk to about anything - serious or not at all.
All in all, I think my biggest role that I play is the loyal best friend/girlfriend.
Also, I see a lot of myself in the "finding youself, aspiring to be something greater than you are" type roles.
I relate a lot to Kate Hudson (Penny Lane) in Almost Famous, if you recall that role She has a lot of my personality quirks at times..

[Dr. Mobius]

Maybe we could get reacquainted sometime, you know, with the real you. Or at least a closer to you version than that airhead you tend to make yourself look like.

[ValentineNicole]

Anytime.

[Young Val]

i've got to throw my chips in with nicole's.

just about every role i have is an act designed more to make those surrounding me comfortable than it is to make me comfortable.

my roles include:

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

The Gal Pal (you know, that female best friend of the male lead who's not a bad catch but ain't a bomshell either, and so you spend the whole movie waiting for the guy to figure out that she's been right in front of him the whole time).

The Sadder But Not At All Wiser Girl



i play lots of supportive roles. i don't know. i had to stop listing the roles i have cause i started thinking about them too much, and then i started getting upset...

[eriador]

I just try to be me. Although I've noticed I do act a little differently with different people. It all depends on which part of me is needed, I guess.

Being a bit of a loner when I was younger, I kinda evolved into a bit of a social chameleon. I could fit just about any role if I had to. Although once I find my niche in a group, I tend to fall back and become me again.

As for the role I wish to play, I still just want to be me. Even when I play RP games, my characters tend to end up being fairly close to me.

That's very similar to the way I fit into the groups that I hang out with. I also find that I don't have a single tight group of friends that I fit into. Instead, I find myself drifting between groups that I fiit into. However, in some of those groups, I don't have as much of a role as in others.

The thing is, I don't have groups of friends where each person plays a "set role" but instead everybody is just themselves.

[fawkes]

I'm the quiet one who doesn't call attention to themselves.

[VelvetElvis]

I'm the quiet one who doesn't call attention to themselves.

Poor girl. MPD is such a trying affliction.

[fawkes]

MPD?

[mr_thebrain]

multiple personality disorder

[fawkes]

Well, it's easier to be outgoing when you're not actually talking to someone face to face.

[VelvetElvis]

I was actually referring to the grammatical error in your post.

[fawkes]

Oh, heh heh, yeah, I have a hard time with that word. I was trying to use it to describe everyone else. Stupid grammar.

[Eaquae Legit]

Often I play the "mom" role. I'm not very happy about it, but I really do like to get where we're supposed to be going or whatever. I have some friends who don't make me play that role, and I love it.

When it comes to family roles, I'm the one who would rather retreat peacefully than get in a fight. This leads to the perception of my role as the easily-bullied one, the doormat, or perhaps the one who always surrenders. I am taking steps to correct this misperception. I have a feeling it will be a painful transition for everyone concerned.

Largely, I occupy a space of contradictions.

[zeroguy]

In my younger years I recall drifting among the various social circles; someone they all knew, but wasn't a static part of (some others commented on that, actually, at the time). Up through middle school I had one group that I kinda always considered the one group I was actually a member of, and that didn't change for quite a while. They weren't always the ones I hung out with the most, but it was always about the same people, and I was always a part of it. Whereas, with the others, I kinda came and went and changed which ones I associated with.

In high school the pattern remained the same, but the groups changed. I tended to have a small group of friends in most corners of the social structure by the end (very useful if I needed things), but there was always the small "tight knit group" of pals I ate with and hung around, etc. I also seemed to know more people older than I than seemed average, for some reason.

However, a lot of times I wish I could be that wise sage. That character on a show who's not so much a focus but makes a lot of special guest appearances. The kind of person who goes and does as he pleases, but his acquaintances always seek him out for advice and guidance. I tend to have and enjoy that role, but not so much in the extreme I'm talking about.

Likewise, but with an added aspect of mystery. I kinda noticed this once, and liked it, so I probably nurtured it by not talking about myself but still trying to offer advice and be generally nice, etc. I now find myself to be one of the quietest people I know. I also did find myself as a confidante and giving advice in some situations, but I've since gotten out of it.

[Rei]

I tend to be the quiet academic who rarely speaks when there are more than two people in a group. Aside from that, my role is probably "consultant". If someone needs advice, direction, help, et cetera, for some unknown reason (well, more known when it's about editing) they turn to me. And aside from that, a lot of the time I am simply not noticed.

In my family I'm not entirely certain, at this point. Things were getting more tense, and I was something of the source of that tension, before I moved out, because it was simply that time that I should. So it will be interesting to see what things are like when I visit for Christmas in a few weeks.

As for what I wish I were, I really do not know. I can't imagine what it would be like to be someone else, to actually be someone else. I just wish I were better at my role and able to be a bit more social despite/with it.

[Locke_]

However, a lot of times I wish I could be that wise sage. That character on a show who's not so much a focus but makes a lot of special guest appearances. The kind of person who goes and does as he pleases, but his acquaintances always seek him out for advice and guidance. I tend to have and enjoy that role, but not so much in the extreme I'm talking about.

Likewise, but with an added aspect of mystery. I kinda noticed this once, and liked it, so I probably nurtured it by not talking about myself but still trying to offer advice and be generally nice, etc. I now find myself to be one of the quietest people I know. I also did find myself as a confidante and giving advice in some situations, but I've since gotten out of it.

I hear that. Last year was kinda tough for me in terms of self. Kind of the whole summer after my senior year of high school I could feel my sense of self depleting and my faith depleting. And it got to the point that by the end of summer, I didn't care. I remember sitting with my friends and old youth minister I'd known for 4 or 5 years through my youth group and she asked all of us what we were gonna do to keep up our faith in college. I didn't have an answer. And I didn't care.

So I spent all last year lost and confused. Not always unhappy, but I can't say unhappiness came in small doses. I realize now I was tackling two extremes of my personality.
1) The mysterious side. I wouldn't let people get to know me. Yeah I was likable, but I never really spoke about myself in too much detail or of things with a lot of meaning.
2) Too open. I would be crazy loud and obnoxious or just talk about myself in depth... many times to all the wrong people.

There was a point toward the end of the year that I talked to a girl one on one for about three hours and she had the faith I only remembered having once. And I realized I only shared one half of myself with her. The half that I used to be. And I realized that's what I wanted. I wanted that person back that I spoke so highly of. I didn't like the person I felt like I had to hide with her.

So I spent all summer reading, working as an intern with my old youth group, etc. That's a long story in itself, but basically, I realized the youth kids thought I was a lot cooler than I had ever thought I was. And I learned to accept myself. Physically, mentally, faithfully, etc. I became comfortable with who was probably since that time in high school I became completely self conscious.

And the first month and a half of college this year was amazing. Absolutely. My biggest fear was coming back and regressing. But I didn't. I went out and met people, I've joined things, and now there's not enough time in the day.

As of now, I'm tired and stressed and I'm becoming numb. My faith with God isn't bad, but relationship needs work. Sometimes, I can even feel myself regressing. Like there's a whole other mindset inside of me I have to fend off. It'll definitely be better next term no matter what so I'm not worried about it in the long term. Just right now.

And that's that. Wow I sure did say more than I planned. Hopefully it was interesting.

[powerfulcheese04]

I keep starting replies to this and abandoning them because they don't come out right.

I'm almost always the smart, driven, has it all together girl. I really do like that role, but it makes it hard to mess up. There's this pedastal involved that other people don't seem to notice they have you on. But some days it's like looking over the edge a cliff and wishing people just thought you were a normal person.

Sometimes, I play the unbearably cute girl. I like that role, too. Though, I've recently discovered that innocence, sweetness, giggles and tickles can get a girl in trouble, too. Alas. Of course, unbearably cute girl is a HUGE flirt. So, that could be the problem with that.

Often, I'm really very shy. I don't do well in groups of people I don't know very well. Even groups of people I should be comfortable with.

I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of them at the moment.

[Mahatma]

In all the groups I belong or semi-belong to, I'm 'the smart one'. Enough people (some of whom don't know each other) have said to me, "But you're supposed to know everything!" that I'm beginning to think that everyone half-believes it. Not that I dislike being smart or knowing things, but sometimes I feel more responsibility than I ought.

[anonshadow]

My role is generally the passionately passionate about everything, overdramatic eccentric pretty-girl.

[Eddie Pinz]

This is an interesting thread...I likes it...

Well there are a bunch of different mes...

With my friends that I grew up with I was the average guy...I was good at everything but never the best...I didn't really ever had any defining characteristics...I was also the advice guy...I gave good advice to others but never really followed it myself...

In school through high school...I was the smart kid that was cool enough to hang with the cool kids...so I got into some trouble but I was usually the most tame out of my friends...

With my circle of friends at home now...I'm still the smart guy...but I'm also the nice guy...which sucks...you know the type...when all the girls go, "oh...I love Ed...he's so nice..." I hate that word...I'm also usually the voice of reason...my friends typically get themselves in trouble and react badly...I'm ususally the guy that calms the situation down...

With my friends at school, I am the exact opposite...I am pretty much the party guy that usually gets out of hand...I'm also the guy that used to be smart...but still is really smart nobody believes it becuase he drinks too much...what is really interesting is that I usually overreact to everything where when I'm at home I shrug things off that should upset me...I still don't get why this is...

[Gravity Defier]

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The requested post was not found.

[zeroguy]

Hmm, I wonder if Locke_ is what I would be like if you added Christian religion to me, or something.

In all the groups I belong or semi-belong to, I'm 'the smart one'. Enough people (some of whom don't know each other) have said to me, "But you're supposed to know everything!" that I'm beginning to think that everyone half-believes it. Not that I dislike being smart or knowing things, but sometimes I feel more responsibility than I ought.

I get the "smart one" vibe sometimes, and it seems to happen the most when I'm just making stuff up (or guessing, whatever). Awhile ago I came to thinking that I just have some way of talking that makes it sound like I know what I'm talking about, and gives some kind of air of knowledge that I don't actually have. (Or maybe it's because I'm good with technology, which some people just clump together with "smart" or something.)

I even had someone in my English class this year tell me people in the class thought I was some genius or something. But it's English class! I hate that class! I suck at it!

Anyway, I had to cut my last reply a bit short, so I'm resuming it because I feel like it:

When I came to college, my social circles all reset. I knew about two people in all of the university, and neither were in any of my circles I frequented when I left. So, it was basically a time to try out some new stuff, and see what happened.

This time 'round, the tech-wizard vibe came stronger I think, for a few reasons. One is that I'm actually living with many of my friends now, so I get a lot more of "What the hell is that on your computer? What is Linux?" Another is that it kinda comes all at once at them, since I'm just meeting them. And another is that I know virtually no other techies around here, so there's no outside point of reference for anyone, really.

And I guess that kinda sets me into "the mysterious wizard" kind of role, since nobody seems to understand what I do with computers most of the time. Other than that, I see myself as a pragmatist of sorts in the group, sometimes thinking of things too logically and stuff. I am also sometimes the joker that tells bad jokes, and pisses people off about it. It is no matter, though, the bad jokes are funny to me because they are bad. In general I seem cool and calm, but can get pissed off when someone says something that doesn't make any sense (but whoo boy do I get made fun of for that, and rightly so).

[Locke_]

I think that was one of my biggest challenges resulting from my inner struggles and going to a school 10 hours away (and away from Tampa, Florida where nearly everyone stays in state). All of my reputations and roles vanished. I no longer had any basis for forming relations. No friends through friends. I had to prove myself to a whole new school. It started happening toward the end of the year when I finally began to pull things together. But that was tough and I remember realizing it. Nice part is I definitely have that role much moreso at school now. Maybe it's the second year of college. I've got experience under my belt. That definitely helps especially as I notice some freshmen looking up to me and respecting me in almost the same way some of my youth kids did last summer.

But what's weird is this... wait let me foreword by saying that when I came back to school after summer the one thing I wanted most was to bring my Tampa self to college. And be happy. And it worked! Like I said, things have gone swimmingly and I credit it to being focused my faith and unfocused on my self (a near narcissist I was). Anyway, the weird part is the way I've felt in Tampa the two times I've been home since break. Fall Break was 4 days long and went by way to fast to really be enjoyed, so I thought. Then you've got your father threatening to take the activities you've worked hard to join if you get a C and that doesn't help morale. Thanksgiving comes 3 weeks later and is a week long. It's good, but you're not even motivated in your own home. When I got back to school, I had accomplished nothing for a whole week and hated it. I was happier being under stress and getting an average of 4 hours of sleep a night than waking up between 1-4 PM to do nothing. I liked coming back to school more. But I don't think it's me. I just don't think I'm ready for home yet.

I don't think my family has ever really understood me. They love me, I love them, we know each other very well, they know what I like and dislike, but sometimes I just feel like they don't understand WHY some things mean so much to me. And I try to tell them, but these are kind of "you've gotta experience it for yourself"/"if you have to ask you'll never know" type things. Sometimes I feel like their love for me depends on how well I appease them with good grades and whatnot. And may I say, I KNOW that's NOT true, but I still feel that way at times or need to say it that way to explain it.
It's like.... so many people around me will make terrible harmful decisions all the time, but are rewarded by parents because grades are good. But I get punished because I'm a good person who doesn't make terrible greats, but not the best grades either? That's frusterating. Especially when I know how my family use to be, like when my sibling was in college. But we won't go there. Let's just say compared to the way my family was then, I'm practically Mother Theresa... but with a dang dang.

Finally, I've noticed immense changes in myself since highschool, especially since junior year. If I could start high school again, not with the knowledge I have now, but with the mindset, I would've been much better at life. At least junior year anyway. Then again, maybe that's the point of a developing mind in adolescence.

I think there comes a point in a teenagers life when he/she suddenly looks in the mirror and see what he looks like for the first time. And compares himself to others. And realizes just what it means to look good, look bad, be cool, etc. And that's when we get assigned or need to choose a role and a group. That's when the first big choice is made.

[Ithilien]

In all the groups I belong or semi-belong to, I'm 'the smart one'. Enough people (some of whom don't know each other) have said to me, "But you're supposed to know everything!" that I'm beginning to think that everyone half-believes it. Not that I dislike being smart or knowing things, but sometimes I feel more responsibility than I ought.

I get the "smart one" vibe sometimes, and it seems to happen the most when I'm just making stuff up (or guessing, whatever). Awhile ago I came to thinking that I just have some way of talking that makes it sound like I know what I'm talking about, and gives some kind of air of knowledge that I don't actually have. (Or maybe it's because I'm good with technology, which some people just clump together with "smart" or something.)

I even had someone in my English class this year tell me people in the class thought I was some genius or something. But it's English class! I hate that class! I suck at it!

I feel exactly the same: "smart one", English class and all.

Generally, I am the somewhat eccentric, out of mainstream culture (me in grade 7: "what's a goth?") character of the group who is renowned for liking strange things like the movie Equilibrium too much.

[zeroguy]

I think that was one of my biggest challenges resulting from my inner struggles and going to a school 10 hours away (and away from Tampa, Florida where nearly everyone stays in state). All of my reputations and roles vanished. I no longer had any basis for forming relations. No friends through friends.

This sounds exactly like me (except more than 10 hours, heh), but I love it! I don't know if I could stand going to a school where I knew everybody. (Which I could have done, and many of the people I knew did.)

[Locke_]

I think that was one of my biggest challenges resulting from my inner struggles and going to a school 10 hours away (and away from Tampa, Florida where nearly everyone stays in state). All of my reputations and roles vanished. I no longer had any basis for forming relations. No friends through friends.

This sounds exactly like me (except more than 10 hours, heh), but I love it! I don't know if I could stand going to a school where I knew everybody. (Which I could have done, and many of the people I knew did.)

Oh I know. I go back home for breaks and all my friends that go to the same schools in Florida still have "drama" with each other but I'm not involved and I love that I don't care.

[Jebus]

I've given this a lot of thought, and I've decided something...


This is *the* gayest thread in pweb history.

There have been dumber ones, there have been more pointless, boring, annoying whatever... but this one right here, is the gayest.

Congratulations everyone, it was a group effort, now excuse me while I go find that emoticon where the smilie is making a jack-off hand gesture.

[Young Val]

where is that goddamn laughing smilie when i need it?!?!?

[Locke_]

I've given this a lot of thought, and I've decided something...


This is *the* gayest thread in pweb history.

There have been dumber ones, there have been more pointless, boring, annoying whatever... but this one right here, is the gayest.

Congratulations everyone, it was a group effort, now excuse me while I go find that emoticon where the smilie is making a jack-off hand gesture.

[Dr. Mobius]

I just try to be me. Although I've noticed I do act a little differently with different people. It all depends on which part of me is needed, I guess.

Being a bit of a loner when I was younger, I kinda evolved into a bit of a social chameleon. I could fit just about any role if I had to. Although once I find my niche in a group, I tend to fall back and become me again.

As for the role I wish to play, I still just want to be me. Even when I play RP games, my characters tend to end up being fairly close to me.

That's very similar to the way I fit into the groups that I hang out with. I also find that I don't have a single tight group of friends that I fit into. Instead, I find myself drifting between groups that I fiit into. However, in some of those groups, I don't have as much of a role as in others.

Dude, you just described me in high school and I still am that way to a certain degree. I do have at least a few close friends I can depend on now, though.

where is that goddamn laughing smilie when i need it?!?!?

Which one?



There's also this guy, but some people don't seem to like his excited sibling.

[Qing_Jao]

I'm usually the "mom" figure. I was before I had kids. That's where "TheCookieMomma" comes from (my email moniker, msn, etc.) We were a group of 6 to 9 people, and we'd hang out almost every day for over a year. The main thing to come out of that group was R and I got married, but some seriously awesome friendships came out of that, too.
I miss them all. Anyway, I was the one making sure everything was copacetic.