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Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:00 pm
by Gravity Defier
:grouphug:

Hope you can get help, if you need it, Satya.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2018 7:41 am
by Gravity Defier
Bob,

10 years ago, today. I can let go now, right?

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Fri May 04, 2018 10:33 pm
by Gravity Defier
Bob,

Apparently, the trick to getting me to try to eat better is to tell me calories are a lot like money and the amount you should have in a day is a lot like trying to stay within a budget.

Who would have thunk?

Anyway, finally saw a weight in the high 130s again, which means I'm about 8lbs from my weight while in AZ. I've been as high as 151lbs here. Feeling pretty good about things. :)

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Sat May 05, 2018 1:19 pm
by Satya
Happy Karl Marx's birthday, Bob!

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:22 pm
by Gravity Defier
Bob,

One of my exes was a compulsive liar and another was a body shamer. Both were cowards. Every so often I try to imagine what it would have been like bringing them home to meet my family and I cringe.

zero isn't perfect (neither am I) but he just has it. He knows what works best for the occasion and for my different family members, and me, and he never has to be anything other than who he is and he never wants me to be anything other than who I am.

Trump needs to lose in 2020 so I can marry this man (zero, not Trump).

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2018 8:55 am
by Luet
:love: :love: :love: :D :D :grouphug: :kisses: :kisses:

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 9:07 am
by Gravity Defier
Bob,

I think I must generally suck at being a person or communicating, or come across as always angry/sad/depressed/needy/something. Without fail, whenever I'm looking for sympathy or gentle words of encouragement, I tend to get responses that indicate I'm coming across as much more desperate/sad/angry/whatever than I actually am and/or I'm given advice. All I want is a "That sucks." or "Sorry to hear that." That's it. I'm at least a little smart. I don't need fixes. Especially obvious ones. Just a little acknowledgement that while others have it s*** tons worse, I'm allowed a little exhaustion or annoyance.

With that said, I get one weekend off between now and November because of staffing shortages and work trips (these are never as fun to me as people make them out to be, so why they don't count air travel as the stressful thing it is is beyond me). I'm tired already.

Thanks,
me

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 2:23 pm
by thoughtreader
That sucks :grouphug:

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 12:33 pm
by Gravity Defier
I love you so hard, Teresa. :kisses:

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 5:06 pm
by thoughtreader
Love you too!

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2018 9:19 pm
by Gravity Defier
Bob,

First things first: I'm not, to the best of my knowledge, suicidal.

So there's that. A great way to start a conversation.

I am, however, really tired of miscommunications, misinterpretations, slights, etc. that suggest I am not a pleasant person, even when (especially?) I do it to myself and deserve it. I am feeling so easily triggered these days and I just...feel like I can't anymore. Or, I never really could be part of the bigger fabric of the world, not well or naturally, and now, after spending so much time and energy trying to be less of an awful person, I just don't have the energy anymore. And Pweb has never been shielded from the ugly parts of me, and sometimes it was okay and sometimes, not so much. But that sort of short-tempered, highly emotional side of me doesn't fly in the real world. And I'm tired. I want to take my boyfriend, my dogs, my family (the ones I like at the moment) and run off to an island where I can be an awful person but loved anyway.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2018 8:17 am
by Luet
Hugs and love to the furthest thing from an awful person that I know.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 6:47 am
by Satya
I can't decide on whether to apply to grad school or not. Stress levels are off the charts.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2018 11:59 pm
by Gravity Defier
Can you apply and defer for a year if accepted but you determine you need a break?

Good luck with the decision. :grouphug:

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:44 am
by Satya
Gravity Defier wrote:Can you apply and defer for a year if accepted but you determine you need a break?

Good luck with the decision. :grouphug:


Thank you~ :love:

I'll have the summer off regardless, when I've been working through them up to now. But that's kind of why I can apply; I plowed through so many credits and requirements in the first 2 years that I'll be finishing my undergrad early, and I'll have a year of my GI Bill left over. It was a no-brainer, having half the master's program covered financially, when I can cover the second half easily with what I've saved and with a part-time TA spot. But I'm still nervous about the application, and if I don't get in I don't really have concrete plans. If I do, will I be ready? I mean I'll be graduating with ~3.6 but this is a different animal.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:37 pm
by Satya
Yesterday I got a message that my pregnant sister wasn't feeling well and went to the hospital. They found she was going into labor at only about 5 months. They couldn't stop it and so she delivered, and it was a foregone conclusion the baby would not survive. She and her husband had been trying for awhile to get pregnant, but her health was not good enough it seemed. She worked very hard to be healthy enough to have a baby. She is devastated and her husband is numb, and the family is out of sorts. He was 21 weeks, about a month shy of the possibility of extraordinary measures saving him. I can't imagine what's she's going through and I'm just... There's nothing I can do.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2018 10:39 pm
by Gravity Defier
There are no words for how tragic that is. My thoughts to your sister and family.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:01 am
by LilBee91
<<<hugs>>>
I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you all.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:32 pm
by Satya
She spent a few weeks in the hospital afterwards, complications and blood clots.. Somehow she is doing ok now. Thank you for your thoughts, friends.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 10:59 pm
by Gravity Defier
Good. I'm glad she is doing okay, at least physically. Hope that applies to emotionally, too.

With all my heart, I hope that when she's ready to try again, she gets the baby she's been hoping for.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:53 pm
by Satya
Semester is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally over. Sheeeeeesh what a mess.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:04 pm
by Gravity Defier
I'm so tired. 11 days off from work but 3 were travel days (the longest was 19 hours between the two stops) and 6 were split between two families.

Just 2 to be at home and relax.

I'm going to burn out from life.

Also, just had zero help me move our bed and while it opened up the room, it also made it more likely we'll both bump heads on our slanted ceiling. If we had a different bed frame, this would be less of an issue but those are pretty expensive. Cheaper to just move it back. I'll give it 'til the weekend, though, to be sure.

Re: Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 10:13 am
by Young Val
Dear Bob,

I was talking about this place last the other day, and thought I'd take a stroll around the old neighborhood.

Sending out love to everyone. Hoping you are all happy and well.

:love:

love,
me