Philotic Web

That's awful. I'm so sorry.

*hug Nomi*

OMG that is so terrible! I'm so sorry. Someone, most likely a neighbor, kicked in the back door of our duplex in TN and stole our TV and remote (I didn't know where the remote was but we never found it again so we think they took the time to find it). they literally had to walk past both of our computers to get to the TV but they thankfully didn't take them. It was such a hard end to a hard day.Thankfully we had renters insurance that covered most of the cost of replacing it... but that didn't make the feeling of being violated and scared to be in my own home go away.
I'm so sorry that it happened to you *hugs*

Ugh. I'm so sorry, Nomi! I really hate people, sometimes. I had a laptop stolen at the airport earlier this year (which was thankfully recovered several hours later), and my father-in-law had his laptop stolen from his car on Christmas Eve while he was doing a funeral service.

I hope the police are able to track down your stuff (it can happen!) and that you can get your medicine replaced! Stupid people.

Just got home from a weekend in NYC to find that our house was robbed. They stole my laptop (with a years worth of un-backed up birding pictures), a PS3, 20 bluray and some games, and a bunch of my medicine. Waiting for the police. I feel sick.

Ugh. That's so violating. And you just moved there! *hugs* I'm so sorry.

Thanks all. The thing I'm most upset about is losing all of those pictures from the last year (mostly birding). Everything else can be replaced. I filed a claim with our homeowner's insurance but we have a $500 deductible, so hopefully we'll at least get reimbursed for the rest (around $500).

And to make it worse, my car was at the shop and I just found out that it's going to cost around $400.

Your car repair is only going to be $400? Be grateful it's not "$1500 or so for the clutch--assuming that's all it is--plus you know you're going to have to fix those steering assembly boots at some point, and there's still that odd noise coming from your left rear tire..."

Well, that's the most expensive repair we've had in years. Two Prizms with over 100k and they usually run great. One of the oxygen sensors went bad and was making the check engine light come on.

Well, Geo Prizm = Totoya Corolla. I love Toyotas: Incredibly reliable cars. I've swapped so many parts on my Sienna, myself, it's ridiculous (O2 sensors, starters, door handles, electric window mechanisms, etc.)

My current car is a used Subaru (160K+ miles)...maybe Subarus, overall, are great, but mine is a lemon. I think I may have paid more in repairs than I paid for the car, at this point!!! No love.

Hey Bob,

I applied for a job yesterday the qualifications for which exist entirely outside of my current skill set. I don't care, though. I want this job. I will obtain it, fueled on enthusiasm and new ideas.

Fingers crossed, Chris. Praise be to God.

Well, that's the most expensive repair we've had in years. Two Prizms with over 100k and they usually run great. One of the oxygen sensors went bad and was making the check engine light come on.

Be glad it didn't mess with the amount of fuel making it to your engine while you were driving. It's really scary to be in the middle of traffic and have the car start doing weird stall/rev things when the oxygen sensor is too far gone.

My current car is a used Subaru (160K+ miles)...maybe Subarus, overall, are great, but mine is a lemon. I think I may have paid more in repairs than I paid for the car, at this point!!! No love.

My girlfriend's Subaru is moving into that mileage range, and it's definitely getting into constant repair-land. It's likely more related to this being VT than anything else. A 1992 car in most of the country probably is in better shape than a 2002 car here. Subarus are more or less the official state car, because they hold up so much better than anything else.

*hugs for Nomi* That's really awful... I hope the police can help...

My girlfriend's Subaru is moving into that mileage range, and it's definitely getting into constant repair-land. It's likely more related to this being VT than anything else. A 1992 car in most of the country probably is in better shape than a 2002 car here. Subarus are more or less the official state car, because they hold up so much better than anything else.

Well, then my 2002 is either from Vermont, or it was driven for years on the beach.

I am starting to believe that my car may actually be a quantum vehicle: It doesn't as much exist in a precise space, but leaves more of a probability cloud behind it as it moves forward through time. And whenever I look down at the speedometer to see how fast I'm going, it starts weaving all over the road. And if I hold it straight, I don't dare check the speed. Plus, when I go to start it up, I can never quite know if it's alive or dead until I turn the key....


(Actually, it's not THAT bad, I was just trying my luck at some physicist jokes)

hahaha, I was amused.

Bob,

How do you vent to someone, when the subject of the needed venting is the fact that you have nobody to vent to?

Similarly.. how do you complain on Facebook about the fact that you don't feel safe complaining on Facebook?

Uggggggh

FML

Dear Bob,

I feel better today than I have in weeks. Life is radiant today.

All right, World. Let's do this.

Hey Bob! Great flying weather today!

Dear Bob,

I am all over the place and kind of a mess lately. I need a vacation.

Got another raise today. Completely unexpected. Only 4 months since the last one. That makes 4 raises in a year and 2 weeks. Get this: today was a 3k/yr raise. Making a total of 14k/yr since I started a year ago.
I'm so jazzed

Awesome! They must really like you.

Kudos, Brain!

I know this sounds awful, but remind me what you're doing again?

Great job, Joshy!!

Seriously, way to go, brain!

thanks everybody. i'm really enjoying my job. actually, i'm enjoying my life.

EL- i'm doing electrical design and a bit of electrical engineering at a engineering/contracting firm. we make process equipment for pharmaceutical companies, chemical companies, food and dairy etc. all over the world. in fact, if you drink milk, eat yogurt, or take prescription meds, it probably came from something i helped make. it's kinda cool.

Awesome! It'd be cool to have your signature all over the world in lots of little places.
To do this myself I am planning to become both a physicist and an author.

*edit* P.S. Unrelated but important: what file type is necessary here for an animated avatar?

Dear Bob,

Finished a big essay this morning, not a lot of sleep last night, big release of pressure afterward. I should have seen it coming. Others saw it coming.

I came home and tried to get started on the next thing, but couldn't. Started panicing, pacing round the house, screaming, crying.

I stumbled outside and walked down the road. I was thinking about jumping into the traffic, it's the closest I've come yet to thinking it's a good idea. Didn't. Scared though.

Came back in, yelled some more at the furniture and then for some reason I decided I really needed to take a shower.

And then, shivering because I hadn't taken my clothes off, calmed down. Someone else came home. We hugged, we cried. I made their clothes wet.

I'm so tired of it Bob. Lots of stuff to talk about with The Guy tomorrow.

I thought about going confessions but screw it, I need to write and I need to be me. Where me is a shadowy zebra. There's some work required here.

Yebs

Big *hug* yebra.

*many hugs to M&M* That sounds scary. I hope things feel better soon.

*hugs*

Dear Bob,

I'm going to be keeping a grown-up adventures blog (sort of like Jan's amovingtale, or Kelly's landlockedlove)! Helen helped me name it furandaway... I'm very excited about it!

http://furandaway.wordpress.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

*bookmarked* :)

*bookmarked*

Ditto, I love Pwebber blogs!

Hey, Bob.

Long time no big talk that also didn't get deleted/swiped sometime later. I'm sorry for that. There was a very specific conversation that made me feel shame over my level of sharing and truth be told, I very much deserved to be spoken to the way I was. But it does make it hard to jump back in and feel like this is a safe place for things.

I just had my three month anniversary with Chicago on Thursday. I cannot believe it's been three months, both because I am so immersed in my life here that it feels much longer and also because I haven't done nearly as much as I'd like, so it feels like so much shorter a time. Seriously, how did it happen that the thing I've done the most of around here is eat out? And why do I feel accomplished and proud about that? It is spending money and doing something I need to do for basic survival. Between trying to not blow through all my savings right away, not having the time block needed due to train schedules, and not wanting to experience every new thing by myself, I have tended to go long stretches without trying new activities and usually spaced them around visits. Not exactly ideal but the one truth that still stands is the fact that I. Love. This. City. I really am happy just being here, not doing anything special. That's love, isn't it?

Ed will be here in a little less than two weeks. My dad is coming in July. My cousin is supposed to come in October. None of them have been here before. I worry that people will come and not be in love with this place, that I'll not do a good job of showing why this place makes me happy. It's hard to share that feeling, though. It's not the bricks or the public art or the weather or the restaurants. It's the personality and the way it all fits together. It's like a person, I suppose. You can list things and justify and rationalize but really, there's just something about them that works for and with you.

There was an incident at work at least a month ago now, where I made a comment that hurt an entire department's feelings. I felt bad for that, I really did, but what hurt me was, ironically, part of the attempt at comforting me. "They just don't know you that well. They just think of you as being quiet and don't understand where that came from." Quiet. Like it's okay to assume the worst intentions because I'm not like them. How silly of me to be hurt over such an innocent, well intended comment, I know but it's this thing that I've been dealing with for as long as I can remember. My aunt telling my mom that I was too quiet, maybe something was wrong with me, why didn't I want to play with my cousin. Teachers and professors telling me I'm so smart but also too quiet, try speaking up some! Girls in school thinking my quietness was bitchiness and being stuck up, like I was too good for them.

I don't know, Bob. Do you ever feel like you're wrong? Not about anything factually provable but just in the way you are as a person? As though, if someone were to make a master list of all the qualities a person might have and somehow decide having it in one way is a positive and having it in another way is a negative, you clearly had more of the negative aspects of those qualities than positive? That you're just a big bundle of Wrong Things and by golly, if you could just change a few of them, the rest would follow and you'd be Right and Better?

Here's the crazy thing. In isolation, when it is just me, myself, and I, I like me. I love me. I start to think I'm smart, mostly friendly, a little witty, attractive in that nice combination of both beauty and sexuality (stop laughing, it could happen)...you know, a decent, good person.

But then I have to start interacting with people and it all falls to s***, one piece at a time, though in no time at all. Because I'm just that quiet girl.

And when I hurt someone else, it's because I'm the quiet bitch. The cold, detached person who likes to sit and take everything in but never says anything.

And when my feelings are hurt, I seem to somehow become surrounded by people who can't understand why or how, who like to point out that they are different, and it comes across as "Why can't you just see it how I do? Your life would be better."

I guess the point of that, the way it relates to the first part, is that if anything has disappointed me about being in Chicago, it was learning that people are the same everywhere. That I am mostly the same everywhere. Well, maybe I'm not the exact same. If I can give myself a little credit, I'd say I'm doing pretty damn well for myself here. I'm doing things that scare me or make me uncomfortable or are simply out of character but things I've long wanted to try and I'm coming through all of it, feeling pretty damn good about what I can accomplish for myself.

I had lunch with my dad shortly before I came up here and he told me he was excited but worried for me. He told me he couldn't help but to think of when I went to college and how I got so sick the first little bit and that he feared that would happen again now. It didn't. That in and of itself makes me proud.

I don't know. In what I swear is a completely non-suicidal comment, I really don't think this world is meant for people like me. I think it works for most people or if not works for than is at least more tolerable or easier to adapt to or somehow more compatible. Then again, that might be one of the most arrogant, "Aren't I special and different?" comments I've ever made, making me a bit of an a******.

Ah well. There's more. There's always more. But I owe a letter, so I'll throw it in there.

Thanks for being here for me.

I remember right after my incident when, while I was in rehab, the therapists thought I might be brain damaged even though my tests were fine because I rarely spoke. My mom's reply to all this was "No, that's just my Josh."