Dear Diary/Journal/Bob 3.0

[Luet]

Bob,
Well, I got the response I was waiting for. But it contained no further information and was the epitome of passive-aggression. I am so angry. Now comes the agony of whether to write back or not.

Good thing my kitties are making me laugh!

[starlooker]

Dear Bob,

Yet another early morning freakout. Bawling, hyperventilating, etc. Slightly better than last time, but not good. Doing better, now.

It's annoying. It's not the good kind of, "there, there, let it all out," kind of crying. It's tears and hyperventilating all mixed up that I don't know if they'd end on their own.

Donny made me promise to call the doctor this morning, because apparently doing de-antidepressant is a bad idea.

Sigh.

I don't know what we're going to do. Please, Bob, any influence you have -- let him get a call from one of those job-fair applications.

[Luet]

I'm so sorry, Kirsten. De-anti-depressant is certainly not for everybody. We need to get you feeling better for Little Bit in there!

[VelvetElvis]

Hm... have you talked to your doc about getting samples for the time being?

[Dr. Mobius]

(Psst... Helen, go look in the Brotosaurus thread.)

[VelvetElvis]

I was working my way up from the bottom and Hadn't read that one yet.

[Gravity Defier]

*hugs for Kirsten* I haven't read the other thread yet but I think a hug works in any event.

[Claire]

*hugs Kirsten*

Thanks for the hugs and sympathy, everyone. Things are not getting better, and at this point it seems only a matter of time. I really miss my family. Part of me feel guilty, but it doesn't even feel real to me-- irrationally I still believe I'm going to see her when I return. Hell, just a week and a half ago my parents were considering taking her out here to visit me! They even renewed her passport in preparation. *sigh*. Life goes on.

[LilBee91]

Bob,
Today is not a people day.

[Luet]

bob,
I hate drama and I want to just get away from all of these people and this crap and just GAH.

ETA: NOT about pweb!

[starlooker]

Dear Bob,

I will give you a happy post to make up for the past couple, sound good?

Today was a really fun and happy day. I finished making the card for Donny, a little later than I wanted to as it just took longer to paint words than I realized. Anyhow, I went and gave him the card, and he loved it very, very much. (I'm pretty proud of it. It's got metallic highlights, so if you hold it just right, it shimmers.

We went to the zoo and renewed our membership, sort of as a gift to one another. It was raining, lightly, but there was a huge umbrella in the trunk of the car by total luck and coincidence. So, he held it over us, and I got to walk all close and arm in arm. And we were there pretty late in the day, so we went nearly straight to the tigers. We did detour real quick by the lions, and that was awesome, because to get to the lions, you pass by the warthogs, and there was this little three or four year old up ahead of us singing, "Hakuna Matata." Plus we got to see the mommy and daddy lion up close, laying down by each other, and it looked like they were holding paws. Pretty sweet.

Then we went to the tigers. And they were out and close by for a little while. We got there in time to see them for a few minutes before they went in. And, then, Donny dropped down on his knees. He kissed my belly a couple of times, told me how happy and grateful he was that I'd married him and was going to be the mama of his baby. And then he pulled out a ring box. And inside were my engagement and wedding rings, all polished up, and on a pretty new sturdy silver chain so that I can wear them now (at least, from time to time. The chain thing still makes me nervous, but less so!) I was completely shocked. I had NO IDEA he was planning anything like that. Apparently he'd been planning for it from the time I began talking about needing to take my rings off.

We went home and changed into dressy clothes. (I wish I'd gotten pictures, but oh well.) Then we went to Olive Garden since we had a gift certificate there. SO MUCH FOOD. SO GOOD.

And we listened to sentimental old country songs in the car and came home and changed into fuzzy pants and called back everyone who'd called to say happy anniversary.

Good, good, good, happy day.

[Petra456]

And, then, Donny dropped down on his knees. He kissed my belly a couple of times, told me how happy and grateful he was that I'd married him and was going to be the mama of his baby. And then he pulled out a ring box. And inside were my engagement and wedding rings, all polished up, and on a pretty new sturdy silver chain so that I can wear them now (at least, from time to time. The chain thing still makes me nervous, but less so!) I was completely shocked. I had NO IDEA he was planning anything like that. Apparently he'd been planning for it from the time I began talking about needing to take my rings off.

That is seriously one of the sweeties things i've ever heard!

[Rei]

Dear Bob,

I'm doing terrible at taking basic care of myself.

Also, I can't wait until we get internet again later this month. Danged telecom sense of urgency.

Rei

[GS]

Bob,

A whole lot going on in life right now.

I was laying low around here because of the mod voting. It made me uncomfortable. But I would like to thank Satya for nominating me and every one (if anyone) who voted for me. I was not expecting to be nominated, nor did I initially want the job, but I was touched that I was put up there. I did eventually convince myself that I would have been a good mod, but I guess we'll never know and maybe that is for the best. But thanks anyway. (Not sure if Bob is the best place for this, but there it is.)

The job front. I am now officially down to one job, thank god. I was running myself ragged. I was working over 90 hours some weeks. The money was good and it helped me get out of a lot of my debt in a short amount of time and I am thankful for that. But good lord am I looking forward to a 40 hour work week. I am also sad that I ended up leaving my original full time employer. I was there for over 2 years and I made some amazing friends. I really hope that I can keep in touch with as many as possible. I will be sad if that doesn't happen. The job I stayed on at is exciting and scary. I am the guy. I am not part of a team. There is no one else to blame if this goes badly. I am scared out of my mind, but I usually perform my best when the pressure is on and the stakes are high. Let's hope that continues.

I have a girlfriend. I am not really happy about it. Not that I don't like her, because I do. But she tries to monopolize my time even though I was working 90 hours a week and insists that I hang out with my friends. I explained to her going in to this that I was not looking for a girlfriend and I don't really have time for one either and that she has to understand that. She says she understands but she doesn't. That causes tension, which causes a fight. She thinks that she is making all of the concessions and when I explain everything that I have to do to be able to see her, she feels bad. Not to mention that she is way more into me, than I am into her. She brings up marriage and kids every time we talk. We have only known each other for like 4 months. Not to mention that I am not sure if I ever want to get married or have kids and absolutely have no intention of doing either in the near future. I have tried to be responsible and break it off because I know I am just going to end up hurting her, but that didn't go well. And I don't want to stop seeing her, but I think it is going to come to that soon.

[steph]

And, then, Donny dropped down on his knees. He kissed my belly a couple of times, told me how happy and grateful he was that I'd married him and was going to be the mama of his baby. And then he pulled out a ring box. And inside were my engagement and wedding rings, all polished up, and on a pretty new sturdy silver chain so that I can wear them now (at least, from time to time. The chain thing still makes me nervous, but less so!) I was completely shocked. I had NO IDEA he was planning anything like that. Apparently he'd been planning for it from the time I began talking about needing to take my rings off.

That is seriously one of the sweeties things i've ever heard!

Seriously. This is AWESOME!

(Make Donny look for jobs in Denver! I want you guys closer! We'll treat you to dinner at Cinzetti's when you get here!)

[Gravity Defier]

Good luck with the girl, Ed, and good luck with the lone job. You can absolutely do it, I know you can.

[powerfulcheese04]

Dear Bob,

Not knowing what the future holds is scary. Not knowing where we're going is scary.

Even scarier is the idea that something I wanted but never verbalized may happen. Nate has a tentative offer to stay here, in Waco, for more money and a career boost. Now, I have to find a job here... and I don't know if I can! There are 3 job postings anywhere online that I can find. I called one today and the contact person didn't even bother to come to the phone. She just had the receptionist tell me the job was filled. One of the others requires 2 years experience and their website looks like it may be filled anyway. The third told me to come by and fill out an application. So, I'm doing that Wednesday. The place I'm currently working doesn't technically have an opening, but could maybe make one for me...

So scary!

[Gravity Defier]

Bob,

It is blowing my mind, just the slightest bit, that I got the song. I got the song. I got the song.

Wow.

[thoughtreader]

Bob,

It is blowing my mind, just the slightest bit, that I got the song. I got the song. I got the song.

Wow.

Song?????

[Gravity Defier]

Indeed. Song. :)

[Confessions]

...it's a terrible feeling when people you consider friends don't say a word when someone attacks you, insults you, belittles you...

you find yourself after awhile no longer upset at the perpetrator, but rather, confused and angry with those you call friends, who you've shared your time and life with.

i don't like to feel this hateful. but that's the emotion it stirs. i know it well.

[VelvetElvis]

Bob,

It is blowing my mind, just the slightest bit, that I got the song. I got the song. I got the song.

Wow.

Is this the song that I know?

[steph]

Confessions, I totally feel you. *hug*

[Gravity Defier]

Bob,

It is blowing my mind, just the slightest bit, that I got the song. I got the song. I got the song.

Wow.

Is this the song that I know?

Oh, why yes, yes it is. One in the same.



Sorry, Confessions.

[VelvetElvis]

Well, then:

[buckshot]

Hi Bob ! This should be the best week of the year for me, great baseball games, deer season opens here sat, most of my endavors are working out, why won't my huge old hulk comply?

[Gravity Defier]

Hey, Bob.

I know, I know, I was just in here yesterday but hey, you didn't get to be my most used thread for nothing.

Three in one day, on top of the pace, and a track change. (Or has it only been two? Either way...)

You know how it is.

[Luet]

bob,

I am exhausted and weak from this stomach bug. But feeling better than yesterday. No fever or aches today, just the gastro symptoms remain. I'm trying to get something accomplished, tho. I'm changing over the summer bedding to the winter bedding, which mostly just entails doing lots of loads of laundry (comforter, duvet cover, mattress pad, blanket, etc). The making up of the bed is the most tiring. I really hope I feel totally better by tomorrow morning for the craft fair!

[v-girl]

So glad it's not the flu. GI viruses are horrible but at least they are short-lived. *hugs*

[steph]

Bob,

I'm tired. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of feeling judged at every turn. Tired of feeling less important than everyone else. Tired of being left out. Tired of people not caring who I am and misinterpreting SO COMPLETELY my core motivations. I'm tired of people who are supposed to love me betraying me instead.

Luckily, I have the best husband in the world and an awesome friend who's got my back.

[VelvetElvis]

[Gravity Defier]

I'm tired. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of feeling judged at every turn. Tired of feeling less important than everyone else. Tired of being left out. Tired of people not caring who I am and misinterpreting SO COMPLETELY my core motivations. I'm tired of people who are supposed to love me betraying me instead.

I currently know this all too well.

*hugs* I don't know who these silly people are but you are so loved by and important to me and I pity the people who can't see your worth. You're amazing, every day.

[Luet]

*hugs*

Great people must attract crappy friends. I'm so sorry Steph.

[Petra456]

Bob,

I've felt so... Just... Blah the last couple of days. I've feeling very anti social and all I want to to is stay home and cook/clean. I don't know if it's the weather change or what but I just can't seem to shake it.

[Gravity Defier]

I miss you, too.

Kidding. (ETA: Kidding about the implication of you missing me, not about me missing you.)

*hugs* Feel better, Twinny.