Writings of my own, I'd love input on

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Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Fri May 31, 2013 4:12 pm

So I've started writing a sci-fi story based off a table top game I've played and now I'm running. The story is different unless you've ever played the table top game Traveller, where part of my inspiration comes from. But I'd like anybody and everybody's input on, to help me out. Please let me know now if you are down for me posting it here before I do.

Thanks
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby TerresaWiggin » Fri May 31, 2013 5:43 pm

post away, I can't wait
"when a school counselor called her in to tell her that the school administration was growing concerned about the fact that Petra seemed to be associating with the antisocial element in the school, she knew that she was truly at home in Maralik."

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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:20 pm

anyone else have an issue with me posting up stories?
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby KennEnder » Sun Jun 02, 2013 12:51 pm

no problem for me... could be interesting :)
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby Mich » Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:06 pm

Yeah sure, go for it.
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:58 am

well it appears my first 2 chapters and the prologue is missing *goes to find*

Give me a few days I'll get em up
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:59 am

Ok so I have to retype my first 3 chapters. 1st one posting within the hour

ok hope this works

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B3RQ9cL ... sp=sharing" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby KennEnder » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:50 pm

looks like it needs "permissions" to read the document...
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:54 pm

ya trying to figure it out, never used google before

its not loading so until I can get it to...here's the prologue:

Rusher

By Douglas A. Fitzgerald

Prologue
Wild Space…it’s the part of space where any and everything can be found. It’s the part of space that has no rules, no law, and no big empire or government watching over you. Sounds like the perfect place to do whatever you want right? Well it is, if you can get past the fact that everyone wants a piece of anything you do. Or how there are raiders and mercenaries everywhere you look, all of them wanting everything you have, or could have, including your body if they can find the right buyer, regardless if your still breathing or not. Past that sure it’s great, a small paradise for all…well maybe not for all, most die within the first week once entering it regardless if it’s in the core of the universe or in the bits in-between the different empires. But it beats the Beyond for sure. What’s that? What’s the Beyond you ask? Well think of Wild Space just with a whole lot more space between systems. And by Space I mean nothing. No planets to land on and refill, refuel, or rest on. No space stations to dock at. No asteroids to take refuge on. Hell there isn’t even that many stars to follow or comets or even light to see, just mostly black nothingness. The Beyond is on the edge of the universe, hence the name. Cause beyond it is nothing. So ask anyone where they rather be stuck in, they’d say Wild Space hands down.
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby Rootersfriend » Sat Jun 08, 2013 7:08 am

Good stuff EAGLE. I like that (or forgive me if my own interpretations aren't what you're going for, maybe they'll change when I read more of the story) it's bringing the wild west to space. I like that already the main voice isn't some well spoken oxford student that knows the rules of how things should be told, he/she is a real person who has clearly had experience in the wild, and the beyond, and just tells it like it is, "you don't like it? sucks for you."

Well done man, I tend to write how I talk, so I'm all about that style. Can't wait for more.
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:42 pm

thanks and if you guys like dropbox then it will be easier to post through that than google. But I'll be re-typing my next chapter to post here...caution it will be longer the more chapters I get into em.

Ok so Chapter 1 is up below, but it's not the final version. Stupid files are missing so my narrative voice sounds off when I retyped an older version. Also I realized its not PG-13, so for the forums here I'm editing some words around. Hope you all enjoy it. :angel:


Rusher

Chapter 1
"They say the darkness can get to you ya. They say it warps in and eats at your brains, eats at your very soul; eats as what makes you who you are. They say ones you go into the Beyond you never come back the same" -A clocked man sitting in the bar at the last station before you depart.

Traveling far from the center of the universe towards the Beyond is a ship by the name of Rusher. Medium sized with the ability to hold 15 crew members, but never seems to have more than 10 people on board at any given time. Eight crew members and the occasional 1 or 2 passengers depending on what jobs get picked up; but not this trip. Of the 8 crew members, most are humans, with a few exceptions. A mostly gray furred mechanic who looks like a wolf standing upright. Vargar is his races name but he likes to go by Fuzzy, best mechanic found this side of Neutralise system. Personality is a little playful at times but he makes up for it by being able to fix just about anything. Next to him in the bay almost all the time is the Deamon named Don. Not as big as his race can be but also not as ugly, as he likes to remind everyone. To most he looks like a demon just in finer clothes, horns don't quite protrude out of his hair yet, and for every new port we hit; I'm glade they don't. You wouldn't believe how many screaming, terrified crowds we have to explain if the horns anything like the rest of his race. He runs security for the Rusher cause you won't mess with him once you get a glance at em. There are 5 humans on the ship, a navigator/ pilot named Jimmy; who is mad as a hatter but can fly like no-one I've ever seen. Guns and weapons specialists, Jon and Jeremy. Their brothers and as mush as they get on each others nerves; they're great in a pinch. The cook is a big brick of a man named Thomas, you couldn't hold a conversation with him for long, but then again most of the time you only get out the words "Mmmmm" and "Oh my god/s this is good!"; so we don't mind. Next is second in command, and ex-soldier named Ron who's as much of a crack shot with a pistol as he is with the ship guns. Likes to think himself a ladies man, what with his charming smile and brave "save the damsel in distress" attitude. Lastly is the captain of the Rusher, Jasmine or Jazz for short. Average human freelancer, well thinks she's above average but only when compared to others. A decent height of 5ft 8inches, long brown hair set in a single braid down to about mid back and hazel/ blue eyes. Just don't think she's take the same crap as the other freelancers. "I've worked hard to get this ship and it's crew so don't give me any crap about them, the Rusher, or me!".

-Captain's log-
The galaxy at this time is as it's always been...hard to make a living. That's why we're heading to the edge of it. See I got a hint of some riches out near the edge of the Beyond that our new employer wants us to look for. An old an by the name of Markus who had a weird vibe to him, the kind I couldn't place; but then again who doesn't these days. He said there was a race that once existed long, long ago that had technology unlike anything else, both living ad evolving tech. Something that eve a small piece of would earn a damn high price almost anywhere. The old guy said that if anything was left of them; they would be on a small moon that orbits a big blue planet in a system of 5 planets all orbiting 2 dyeing stars in tandem of each other; on the very edge of this galaxy and of known space. And though I normally wouldn't go on this wild goose chase that it sounded like, for some lose race that probly didn't ever exist; his offer was too good to give up. Ten million credits just to go look and another ten mill upon retuning, plus a mil for anything we discover. Which is what irked me about the old man. Who has that kind of cash for a mission that might be for nothing? I mean who throws that out the window to a crew who could just take it and leave once they where outside of his sensor range? His comeback when I asked him that very last question was "Oh I do worry but not about that. See Jasmine I can see you as you really are, you and your whole crew. And I know you won't leave. Besides if you did, then I'd just look for another crew, one that wasn't scared of the Beyond. A crew who would earn double for coming back!" Did he strike a nerve? Ya he did and he knew it, especially when Ron took a step forward at the cowardly comment. The old *******!!

Still though I'm wondering about him and this mission he wants us on. The planet is within a month's travel straight, non-stop, from where we meet him. And if we hadn't run into a raiders fleet on the way back from our last job I wouldn't even have meet him. But something in the back of my mind was telling me there will be a lot more to this mission than just "go and look around some old ruins". But with a week before we get there I'll just have to sit on my hands, wait, and see.
-End Captain Log-
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Sun Jun 09, 2013 12:15 pm

welp 1 file was found YAAAA!! :thumbs: So I give you chapter 2. Again let me know what you all think. Thanks and sorry if its long.

Rusher

Chapter 2

"Within our universe there is a bridge unlike an other. This bridge links us to what could have been; to what might be, and to what never will be. See everything is relative to what we do. When we change the fates of ourselves that relative changes and becomes something new or alternate. This bridge I mentioned links us to where our fate might have been. Ad if you find this bridge...well let's just say you'll find yourself in both a familiar and unfamiliar setting. Walk carefully or you might find yourself falling off on the wrong side and being stuck till the bridge can be seen again"
-A cloaked man with a familiar face, speaking to you one night as you sleep

*Exiting hyperspace is a small craft almost lost in the vibrant back drop of a system in turmoil.  Five planets with numerous moons of all shapes and sizes are spinning awkwardly around 2 liked sized stars; that in turn are spinning them selves. Looking like 2 dancing partners locked in and endless waltz amongst the galaxy. One sun slightly bigger, dimmer and a bright red; the other smaller but bright, hot, and whitish blue.
Here among this troubled system of dancing objects is that small craft.  Now just on the edge of the system, its name is just barely seen as the reddish, blue haze switches against the ships hull “Rusher“. As scans start poring forth from the ship, captain Jaz looks to her nav/ pilot who is reading the raw data on his sensor board*

"So? What's it say?  Is the system safe enough to enter?" Glaring at her nav/ pilot Jimmy

"Hold on! Hold on, Cappy! There's a s*** ton going on down there!" Responded a man with long frazzled hair of both black and dirty blonde mixed.  His eyes fixed on the multitude of data types streaming to his 3 monitors.

"Ya that much I can see Jimmy!" Replied Jaz irritated

"Old Man sure can pick em huh" Timed in Jaz's second in command Ron, ending it with a long whistle.  He was sporting a half grown half wild beard of light brown hair that matched his well trimmed military style buzz cut head.

"Ya he can.  And I still don’t like the vibe I got from him.  Something’s off about him." Timed in Jaz as she looked out the bridges windows to the system before her. "You get a solid reading yet Jimmy or do I have to get in there and show you how to read!"

"Ya, Ya, Ya... Ok readings up and it’s a dozy.  There you go main screen" A chart popped up on the main view screen full with astronomical charts, views of planets, orbital patterns , and a line graph of gravitational pulls and strengths that was constantly updating itself, like a heart beat sensor.  "So as you can see this system is ****!  Well more like if that **** was thrown into a Capprian bar fight, insulted everyone in the joint, while drinking everything on the menu, then deciding to present what was left of itself to the Avanti as their one true god!"  He paused while smiling at the thought of what such a thing would look like, then feeling everyone's eyes on him.  He continued "Those suns you see there are doing more than just spinning around each other.  Their pulling everything they can towards one another.  Kind of like doing a swing out with a stationary pole, neither one being able to fully pull away from the other due to the spinning momentum.  Yet still slowly moving closer to one another at the same time.  Its actually awe inspiring from this point of view.  However once we fully enter the system it’s a hell blown storm of magnetic waves that can and will rip and push apart anything that gets to close or doesn’t have the mass to ignore it, I.E. us if we're not careful!"

"And this moon we need to land on? How is it?" Questioned Jaz as the voice in the back of her head that had questioned their employer started to stir again.

"Well that's the oddity.  See the planet, in fact all the planets and their moons are just about unaffected by the chaotic gravitational pull.  There’re just orbiting in funky shapes.  But when one gets to close to a sun it just speeds up like a sling shot maneuver only without the launching effect you would normally see upon exiting such a maneuver.  It’s like what we see and get from the data only exist from out vantage point or around the planets, but not on the planets themselves or there moons.

So in short the moon's fine.  Just getting there is gana be my kind of fun Capy!"  Finishing with a big grin equally as crazy and chaotic as the space before them, Jimmy turned to his captain.

"All right then" smiling almost as big and crazy as Jimmy was.  "Strap everything down like we're gana fly through Armageddon on a kids bike, cause we're going in"
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby Rootersfriend » Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:49 am

Ok, so I haven't had a chanceto read chapter 2 yet, but I'm excited to do so! Good stuff so far man
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:09 pm

Thank you and by all means read more!! lol Anyone else like, hate, comments?
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Tue Jun 11, 2013 9:57 pm

ok prewarning its long

Rusher

Chapter 3

-Log 57-
Planet: Unknown System: Unknown Region of Space: The Beyond
Atmosphere: 0.050% Carbon Dioxide CO2, 75% Nitrogen N2, 20.950%Oxygen O2, 4%Unknown
Vegetation:
-Custom Entry: Deep Forest with more of a jungle climate and mixed plant life (Forest trees/ Jungle vines and canopy)
Geography: Mostly mountainous, some small lakes and rivers. Elevation varies. Highest peak: 20,000ft. Lowest peek: 500ft below sea level.
-Civilization: Extinct
-Animal Life: Small diverse with no real large predators.
-Plant Life: Diverse Jungle and Redwood Forest plant life.
-End Data Log-



Jimmy takes the controls in at a steep angle towards the moon they needed to land on, trying to build speed as if every bit of it would help him through the tormented gravity storm that surrounds their target. Diving straight towards the moon core is his intended flight plan but once the small Rusher hit the first wave, that flight plan was thrown out the window, for the storm to digest. Soon Jimmy was sweating bullets like he just went tow to tow with Don for 5 minutes in a boxing ring, while trying to keep the Rusher under his control. Each time he thinks he has it; another wave snatches the controls away from him sending the strip into an end over end type barrel roll. Sending bits and pieces of random debris; lose bolts, and what sounded like at least 5 pots from the kitchen, all over the ship.
Finally after what felt like an hour on spin and tumble in the dryer of gravity fluxuations the system had dished out the Rusher, the small craft entered the moons, the Rusher seemed to be floating on normal tranquility. Picking his self off the dash Jimmy evened out the ship and set a course in for a flat landing spot near the coordinates their employeer gave them.
As they glided across the canopy and mountainous terrain the rest of the crew went to work checking to see if anything was damaged. With all systems green they found a nice green meadow to land on. It was augmented with various flowers of blue, green, yellow, red, and the most vibrant purple color you’ve ever laid your eyes on. These flowers well out numbered the others. Looking almost like a lily with it’s pallen stems sticking out over a pool like cup at the flowers base. The petals thick, soft to the touch and of a deep yet bright violet color with the edges highlighted in soft lavender and folded over. A most picture perfect meadow, even with a ship landing, the meadow looked perfect.
A few hours later a small primeter and base camp was set up around the ship with light shelter and beds, tables, chairs, and a communication station where relays could be linked up to an out post camp. A small heat signature here and there kept Don busy as the brothers started up their usual debates on ‘Whose doing more work’. Ron was out exploring just beyond the tree line with Fuzzy while Jimmy kept tabs on the system’s two suns, making sure a mini armogedean didn’t go off while they were planet side. Leaving Jaz to just relax and stare up at the mountains in the distance and the sky above.

“Pretty isn’t it Cappy?” Said Jimmy as he approached her from the ship.
“Ya” She replied not looking at him. “Though I was thinking beautiful, awe inspiring; especially when I look at these lavender and purple flowers.”

“There definitely different from another other flower I’ve seen Cappy. But the view above us is what’s drawing my attention.” Looking up with a mix of fear and aw, as the chaos of the system could be seen like a night time borealis. “Being what we just flew through, I’ve linked my data pad to the ships sensors and I plan on putting in a few relays between us and whatever we find. I don’t want a super nova going off without us knowing, let alone have time to escape from.”

“Good” Jaz said barely paying attention to him. “We’ll go through a night b before we head out.

* * * * *

After several hours Ron and Fuzzy returned and the crew settled down for the night. Ron was explaining the type of terrain he and Fuzzy encountered while Jaz was lying under the stars on her cot. When asked why she wasn’t in her tent she said “I want to get a feel for this world”, hearing that Fuzzy and Don joined her outside. Ron took the first watch as the crew sleep through an uneventful night.
The nest morning Jaz organized and listed the exploration team. How far out to put the com relays and the “when everything goes to hell” contingency plan. Jimmy, Thomas, and Don where, to stay on the ship or in the base camp; while everyone else is exploring. Check is was set for every 2 hours, with no check in past 4 hours called for that contingency plan going off and an emergency pick up and extract off planet with all guns blazing if need be, would be ordered by Don. With all the details handled Jaz had Ron take the lead as they left the base camp and headed east into the forest.

* * * * *

Several hours of bush waking through the dense forest, com checks and no real leads; Jaz had her crew take a rest in a small clearing between thickets.

“Ok I’m sick of nature” panting heavily while resting against a big bolder was Fuzzy. “Can we call it quits and just tell the old, weird, smelly human that we found nothing?”

“Too much for you fuzz ball?” Asked Jeremy smiling

“No! Just this head and humidity makes my fur sticky and heavier than you naked beings”
“Heavier…more like smellier” Retorted Jon to his brother just loud enough for Fuzzy to hear.
“If you think so then I’ll walk down wind and behind you Jon, that way you’ll know the smell is your brother and not me” Smiling at the insult was Fuzzy.

Jeremy taking offense to the remark dropped his gear and tried to tackle Fuzzy off the rock, while his brother fell over laughing. “What you say Fuzzy nuts!”

Dodging by failing straight down to the ground before Jeremy got to him; Fuzzy got his weight under the angered human and lifted, thus throwing his opponent over the bolder completely.

Yelling as he flew head over heels was Jeremy. Landing on his face only a few feet behind the boulder’s other side; Jeremy came down with a loud metal on stone sound. “Yeaaaoochhh!”

Leaning over to see his crew mate on his face, Ron started to reach down and offer his hand to help Jeremy up, but stopped short as he noticed what Jeremy landed on. “Hey Jaz you won’t believe what Jeremy fell on!”

The rest of the crew joined Ron as Jeremy was picking himself up and off a stone, almost perfectly square, and made of a different type of rock than anything they have found thus far. It was standing out of the grass the way a Deamon would stand out in a crowd of humans.

“What did I hit?” Questioned Jeremy standing up and off to the side.

“Well Jeremy…” said Ron now jumping over the bolder to get a closer look. “Looks like you ‘fell’ on our first clue that, that old weird guy had more than a crazy mission. Looks to me like this is definitely different than the other stones and rocks around here. Just look at how perfectly shaped it is. Nothing in nature is ever perfectly square.”

“Spread out and see if anything else pops up, and Fuzzy” Pausing to make sure he was paying attention Jaz continued. “Don’t go dodging Jeremy over anymore drop offs. We’d hate to give him all the credit for ‘falling’ on all our evidence”

Fuzzy just grumbled to himself as he went looking through the brush and not looking at Jeremy. Jeremy however just went moved over and sat down under a (swamp tree name add here) looking tree, to recover from landing on his head. After feeling his brain settle back in place he leaned back on his hands and watched as his crew mates searched. Something about this place Jeremy thought seemed off. Even amongst the beauty of this world, something felt off. Maybe it was because he just hit his head or maybe it was the way the ground felt under his gloved hands. He took off his gloves hoping it was just his head, only to feel the hard surface of what he thought was moss covered dirt. Turning around Jeremy saw that the ground wasn’t just grass or moss dirt, that in fact it was another stone square just barely seen between the moss. Smiling to himself he just waited for Fuzzy to get mad and give up again before calling out to the captain. “Boss got something!”

With a harrumph Fuzzy said “Well at least you didn’t ‘fall’ on it this time you lucky bustard!”

Ron came over to make sure it was the same type of stone. Sure enough it was, looking around some more in the area around the tree more stones where found including a group that lead around a corner and the start of a stoned pathway or walkway through the brush only a few meters away leading into the forest and heading North towards the mountain range. “By the looks of it Jeremy fell on the last stone or the start of the path. Maybe the rest just eroded away over the years, who knows.”

“That’s using your head bro! And mom said you never could” Added Jon through a big smile.

Jaz joined them and ordered Fuzzy to set up a coms relay back where he ‘helped Jeremy’ find the first stone as he called it. Once communication was linked and tripled checked Jaz had the relay and the direction of the path plotted on GPS and linked to the ships navigation, before heading in the new direction towards the mountains, following the path as they went.

* * * * *

After only an hour it became overly apparent that Jeremy’s discovery was what they needed and what the old man wanted them to look at. Something that Jaz still didn’t trust. But at least the job would be productive and not just a wait of gas. Soon they found small broken pillars and statues on the sides of the path, soon followed by small structures of various sizes and in random amounts of crumbling decay.
By the next check in time 2 hours later, they found a small some-what intact structure they could take shade in and rest. The spot was at the low side of a hill that was the last canopy covered area before the, now fully complete stone path, lead up into the mountains. Where from the hills vantage point looked like it would be a mix of steep inclines and stairs just barely seen poking out of the mountain side.
Ron was studying some broken symbols on the side of the structures walls. “You know boss these markings are one of a kind. I’m no scientist or historical linguistics specialist, but I know these are unique.” Taking pictures of the broken symbols from different angles.

“Ya Ron! That’s cause you’re an ex-soldier, of the Confederation. They taught you to shoot races not study them!” Back in his bad mood from the humidity was Fuzzy.

“Well Fuzzy think of it this way, yes I’m an ex-soldier” Smiling back at Fuzzy with an expression like Fuzzy was just a small pup. “Yes I was trained to track down and kill others, but I was also trained to think and do my research on a location before I was dropped off. So when we got the coordinates for this place from that creepy old, son of a bitch, I researched all known civilations, languages, and cultures to come out of this section of space both recently and dating back to the first entry of it. All the info from a mix of some old regiment buddies, the open net, and Neutrealis.
All that info I’ve read and cross checked to its self the whole trip up. So unlike you who just sat in his bunk and j***ed off to dirty vids on his data pad; I was busy doing my homework, making sure we had no surprises from old flames, or anyone else waiting for us out here!”

“Ya well you still don’t know what it means so your homework was in vain, oh mighty intelligence soldier man!” Retorted Fuzzy feeling like Ron just insulted his intelligence.

“It wasn’t in vain fur-for-brains. All that prep told me that these symbols are truly unique.” Replied Ron, not biting on Fuzzy’s comeback or poking for another fight. Something that Fuzzy always did when he was in a bad mood. “I just wish we find more so I can get some good pictures of whole segments. These are cut off or broken. Hard to tell where or how they start.’

Fuzzy had a smartass remark about something but just mumbled it to himself again. Telling Ron he was still some kind of idiot wouldn’t make him feel any better. He’d just save it for another time.
Watching and taking bets on who would win the next argument Fuzzy or Ron or whoever he’d try argue with next, was the brothers. Jon had his money on Fuzzy but only if it came to anything mechanical or technical. Jeremy however always betted on Ron like it was bad luck not to.
Meanwhile Jaz was scouting the top of the hill trying to see if there was an easy way up the mountain other than the path. It looked kind of like a tourist walkway, from the Neutrealis brochures of adventuring vacationers, the way it twisted around the mountain or up to the next ridge, only without the safety rails to keep people from falling over. Problem with the brochures was that no one who wasn’t born into the rich and wealthy could ever go to those planets of beauty. The planets where for the kind of people who don’t have to work for their existence, that don’t have to take crazy jobs just to make enough money to survive; barely, till the next job.
Thus is the life of a freelance ship captain. Live to work and work to bleed, sweat, and scrounge just to survive and hope to one day live. But Jaz wouldn’t complain, at least not out loud. She had some great times and some stories that no one who weren’t there, would ever believe, even if she had pictures or vids. “Ah the good life” she thought out loud as she sat on a stump.

“All right brakes over, last com check then we hike up and get a good vantage point. If more forest, then we either camp the night or head back!” she said over their communication headsets. “Yep the good life” she thought again as she stood and re shouldered her pack, fixing it tighter to her back in prep for the step climb. “Yep the good life, here I come” She said as she took the lead this time and headed toward the mountain.
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:28 pm

For those who are waiting for more, I've started typing up the next chapter. Also find me on facebook.com/ARunningTarget
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:26 pm

Ok I have about 1 page, maybe 2 left to type up but this chapter is extremely long compared to the others. So if you want to read it please either pm me or email me at: dauntless916@comcast.net
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:37 pm

Ok so since I'm mostly the only poster here. So I'm willing to let the thread die, but only if no one left wants to read it. Yes I have another chapter done, chapter 4. So far I've had only a few interested in the story I write and have posted, but the chapters are getting too long for post. So if you are interested in reading more please post, pm me, or email me.
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby Rootersfriend » Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:58 pm

I want to keep reading, but you can feel free to just email them to me and I'll read them when I can!
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:04 pm

I want to keep reading, but you can feel free to just email them to me and I'll read them when I can!
thank you
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Tue Jul 09, 2013 3:30 pm

Ok from now on everyone will get sneak peeks here. You like message me and you'll get more.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is it Jimmy? What just happened?" Asked Jaz fearing the worst. Engine failure, one the sun's going supernova, or something else else that has killed them.

"Ah..."Finding his voice finally, "that!!" He said while pointing at the side view monitor. Originally the monitor was showing the outside of the solar system, filled with distant stars. Now though, was just a deepening black.

"What about it Jimmy? Talk!!" Yelled Jaz unbuckling her restrants ad starting to move our of her chair. Just then the Rusher Jolted sideways in the direction of the space showed on Jimmy's monitor. The movement catching Jaz by surprise and dropped her hard against Jimmy's sensor station.

"What the Hell is that?" Asked Ron breaking the tension in the cockpit. Is tha...is that a black hole?" His voice was shaking

"What?" Her own voice matching his as she looked to the side window. She too was stuck on stupid with what Ron just saw. t can't be she thought. How did a black hole appear out of no where? No, no this wasn't possible. There was no physical way this is possible she thought again. Then to prove the impossible to be truth the ship rocked to the side of the darkness. This time however winning the fight of gravity over the dueling suns that held the Rusher. Snapping Jaz back to reality. She got up and took the controls away from Jimmy and turned the ship away from the black hole, towards the suns; and pushed the ships engine controls to their max. Hoping the suns will be able to beat out the black hole and then block out it's pull once they got close enough.
The idea worked, at least for a moment. Then a bright flash came from the smaller sun. "Oh no!" she thought and said out loud at the same time. Right before her eyes the smaller sun flashed again and again in growing repetition as it was collapsing in on itself. Her ships sensors all went red with warning of impending danger. Just remember Jaz the voice of the old man echoed in her head. To follow your gut and your instincts. Reacting without thinking Jaz flipped the ship around and headed straight towards the black hole.
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:11 pm

update to those who still want to read my work. Chapter 5 is nearing completion with the typing of it
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Thu Aug 15, 2013 3:03 am

and a spam bot, wow first time I've seen one on pweb
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Re: Writings of my own, I'd love input on

Postby EAGLE » Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:24 am

so I've got the next chapter if people still want to read them
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