Spider Dance

Talk about anything under the sun or stars - but keep it civil. This is where we really get to know each other. Everyone is welcome, and invited!
mr_thebrain
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Spider Dance

Postby mr_thebrain » Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:26 am

Isn’t it amazing how humans derive such great pleasure in making other humans squirm? I don’t think I’m the only one. There’s just something about telling a sick or disturbing story to someone else and then seeing or hearing their reaction to it. It’s come to the point where it’s almost a competition. You always feel the need to top a story with an even worse story and elicit that squirmy little dance people do when something sicks them out.

In my family we call it the spider dance. Why? My mother is arachnophobic. Whenever she would see a spider she’d do that squirmy little dance and be all “Oh. My. God. Kill it, kill it, kill it!” Great fun would be had whenever she’d do the spider dance.

Now I know we’re not the only people that find pleasure in this. So I thought a great many chuckles might be had if we had a thread devoted to trying to sick one another out. Granted, we will not get the satisfaction of seeing other people squirm. It still may be fun.

My only stipulation would be that we try to keep the stories appropriate.
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Postby mr_thebrain » Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:27 am

Anyway, here’s my first story. This was brought to me this morning by my sister. We work together and she heard about it in an email from my mother. She felt inclined to share it with me. Presumably because she knew she would get me to squirm.

As a man, great many ball shot stories make me squirm — something to do with imagining it happening to me. Thank god this story has not happened to me.

We talk about screwed up things in my family. Yeah, we’re weird.

A short one for all you guys:

My uncle woke up this morning with a single swollen testicle. He now has to go to the doctor to get his testicle drained… with a needle.

This made me squirm.
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Postby Bevis » Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:01 pm

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15643614/


The gist of this story goes like a man, celebrating Bonfire Night in the UK, inserted a firecracker into his bum. Then lit it. His mates, being good chaps, caught the proceeding explosion on thier mobil phone cameras before calling paramedics. I don't believe he'll be spider-dancing for a bit after that rogering. [/poorenglishaccent]

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Postby mr_thebrain » Sat Nov 11, 2006 12:55 am

wow. what a moron. lol

i'm glad the link wasn't to the video. *shudder*
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Postby Jebus » Sat Nov 11, 2006 5:16 am

Heh, Bonfire Night, a celebration of bonfires!

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Postby Nicholas » Sat Nov 11, 2006 5:26 pm

I’m disappointed the link was not to a video. That would have been a funny spider dance. (smiles mischievously)

my turn.

A good friend of mine was hanging out with four of his friends at the dock by their house. One guy john, being the joker of the group decided to jump from post to post on the dock.

John then jumped down and landed on a loose board. This proceeded to fly up between his legs and tear his scrotum open.

Mark, my friend, who has worked as an orderly runs over, pack john back together, and calls an ambulance.

The doctors told john had Mark not done what he did so quickly and efficiently that he would have lost his testis.

Now mark remains john constantly that and I quote “you owe me your balls man.”
~Nick

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Postby Bevis » Sat Nov 11, 2006 7:46 pm

Image
Now mark remains john constantly that and I quote “you owe me your balls man.”

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Postby mr_thebrain » Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:31 pm

ok yeah, that one was well worse than mine. good job! :D
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Postby bean head » Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:32 pm

.....all these stories seem to involve the perineal area, but, oh well. another nut story to add to the collection.

my former roommate told me about a guy he used to go to high school with. apparently this guy was out hunting with his father one morning. he climbed a home-made deerstand while his father posted up much farther away near a clearing, so they could cover the area from two angles. after a couple of hours of no luck, he came back to check on his son and found that his son had been hanging upside down by his scrotum, which was hooked around a nail protruding from the tree, for about a half hour. the kid lost one of his testicles in the ordeal.

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Postby mr_thebrain » Mon Nov 13, 2006 1:17 pm

ow.

you wouldn't think that the scrotum would be strong enough to support the entire weight of your body. *shrug*

there's no real need for all the stories to "involve the perineal area" as you put it. but it definately seems to make guys cringe.

we need some stories that will make the ladies dance.
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Postby Eaquae Legit » Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:39 pm

Hmm, this is a very manly thread. Righty-o.

<snipped - sorry folks, see below for an explanation>

Talk to me about gross when you get the chance to shower feces down someone's throat, and that's a positive turn of events.
Last edited by Eaquae Legit on Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bevis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:50 pm

EL, I've printed a copy of your story out. I'm going to put it on my tool box at work next to the rectal thermometer email. Whenever my job gets rough, I'll remind myself of your clients.

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Postby neo-dragon » Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:53 pm

I could have done without having read that... :?

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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:56 pm

I work in an Alzheimers and Dementia unit (although of late, I have gotten to play on the normal side. Please note that normal doesn't really mean anything.) I bet EL and I could swap stories for hours.
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Postby mr_thebrain » Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:08 pm

el, that was nasty. i commend you for your story *dances*

helenberrycrunch (from now on i'm calling you HBC. anyway. if you have stories to tell that fit the spider dance way, by all means share.
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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:15 pm

i'm trying to think of ways to tell them that don't violate hipaa.
Last edited by VelvetElvis on Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby mr_thebrain » Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:38 pm

f****** hippa. i can't tell you how many publications i deal with that are just about hippa. it's a snooze, lemme tell ya!
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Postby Eaquae Legit » Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:42 pm

Neo, you knew what the thread was about. You could have refrained from clicking.
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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:57 pm

I. HATE. HIPAA.
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Postby neo-dragon » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:01 pm

Actually, to be perfectly honest, I didn't know. How was I supposed to know that a thread called "spider dance" would turn out to be about mentally handicapped people eating feces? I apologize if that sounded insensitive in any way. You have to understand that I was eating an OhHenry bar as I read it... Okay, no I wasn't, but I could have been, and that would have added an unwanted tactile sensation to the mental image.

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Postby Eaquae Legit » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:07 pm

Did you not read the first post?

Anyway, I've thought about it some and I'm taking down my original post. I've never been given something like HIPPA to read, but still my better judgment has gotten hold of me.
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Postby neo-dragon » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:09 pm

Did you not read the first post?
Sometimes I skip to the last post and sorta read backwards.

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Postby Eaquae Legit » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:16 pm

Well, that part ain't my fault. :p
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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:24 pm

You've never heard of hipaa? Where are you from?


STORY:

Resident A defecates in bed. Resident B "discovers" new friends. Resident A and B argue over new friends, complete with a snatch and grab fight..
Last edited by VelvetElvis on Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Eaquae Legit » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:40 pm

Canada.
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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:48 pm

I guess it is just an American thing. It's a nuisance, really.
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Postby zeroguy » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:53 pm

Hmm, anyone heard of the "joke" about The Aristocrats? Supposedly the Bob Saget version is the definitive version. I myself don't really care to see it....
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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:56 pm

i'm lost.
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Postby Bevis » Tue Nov 14, 2006 10:24 pm

I've not heard the joke at all but apparently it's only funny when told as filthy as possible. Perhaps zeroguy can post his version.


Now for my own spiderdancing. Once when I was someteen my friend (Toni) & I walked out onto her patio and discovered a meowing kitten lying on it's side. Upon further examination we found a hole in the side of it's neck. It looked as if it had been attacked by a bigger cat then left for dead. Toni decided to adopt the kitten. She took it inside and made it a bed. The little black&white lay there all weak&meak. Toni did whatever it is one does to nurse a squeaky furball back to health but nothing seemed to help. The wound wlouldn't even scab let alone heal.

Finally, after several days of no improvement, she asked her mom's bfriend to euthanise it. He said okay but he wanted to have a look at the future patient first. He laid the kitten on a towel on the counter then used his forefinger & thumb to spread the wound open. "Hmmm," he said before openning the nearby junkdrawer, grabbing a pair of tweezers and using them to remove a large maggot from the kitty's throat.

Within a few days the kitten was as playful as a kitten should be. The maggot got thrown in the trash.

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Postby Oliver Dale » Wed Nov 15, 2006 7:02 am

brain,

Why do you think I like to write disturbing dark fantasy and horror? That's exactly why. (And if you don't believe me, my story on IGMS should convince you otherwise.)

re: HIPAA

I suspect EL didn't violate any rules of HIPAA. She gave away no more information than you'd see in a case report. As long as no patient identifying information was included with the story, she was fine. And HIPAA isn't really that hard to maintain; I can't imagine why it'd be a nuisance.

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Postby mr_thebrain » Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:03 am

Bevis, thanks for getting things back on track. maggot in the neck huh? yummy!

Ollie, i don't think i've actually ever read any of your work. i may have to rectify this sometime in the near future.

no, having read el's post, i do not feel that she violated any hipaa rules. it'd be different if she shared patient information. as it was, she only shared a sick story.

anyway. ollie, got any good quick spider dance worthy stories?
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Postby VelvetElvis » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:19 pm

she didn't.


hipaa becomes a real pain in long term care facilities, when you have the conflict of interests between treating it like their home and maintaining complete confidentiality.
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Postby Jayelle » Wed Nov 15, 2006 5:19 pm

Can I get a definition of Hipaa? I'm still lost.
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Postby Oliver Dale » Wed Nov 15, 2006 5:48 pm

Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act

Usually when people invoke HIPAA, they're referring to the AS provisions of title II which deals with privacy and security regarding any health information.

For a more rigorous definition, the code must be online somewhere. I'm sure a quick google would turn it up.

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Postby neo-dragon » Wed Nov 15, 2006 6:14 pm

Or just use wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIPPA

See why I love it?


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