Prof Quotes!

Talk about anything under the sun or stars - but keep it civil. This is where we really get to know each other. Everyone is welcome, and invited!
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Prof Quotes!

Postby Rei » Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:57 pm

Yes, I know we already have a quotes thread. This one, however, is dedicated to all those wonderful (or not so wonderful) professors of yours who have something worth repeating, which is often amusing.

That said, here is one from today.

My Mediaeval Bible Professor:

"Jesus was both 100% divine and 100% human -- not half-way. Totally divine and totally human. Both British and Canadian."
Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.
~Blaise Pascal


私は。。。誰?

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Postby Young Val » Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:14 pm

i'll remember this one til i die. my AP english teacher in highschool, Mrs. Hague, was getting fed up in class one day because two popular jock guys were just blatantly not paying attention to anything going on up front. they were talking loudly about girls and what they wanted for lunch. finally, Mrs. Hague had had enough and said, loudly,

"Women and food?! Is that all you think about?!?! That is sooooooo Anglo-Saxon!"
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Postby Mahatma » Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:23 am

Hehe, I like this thread.

My honors professor yesterday: "In a world where there are a lot of stupid people, you have to defend yourself."

My cognitive science professor says a lot of crazy things.
"They're Amsterdamers. They get the munchies after doing things."
"All of Bill Gates' programmers and all of Bill Gates' systems analysts couldn't put a grammar together again."
"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

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Postby powerfulcheese04 » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:06 am

I'm pulling these from a suuuuuper long list I have that I haven't updated since fall my sophomore year (now in fall my junior year):

Freshman Spring:
Chem
"We'll talk about molecules in a more arm waving fashion." (he totally came through on this promise, by the way.)
"There's no net effect. It's like kissing your sister."
"If you want to excite a bell, take a hammer to it and it goes 'waoooooong'."
"What do we do about magnesium or beryllium? They're nice metals too..."
"I can be reached somewhere on the Inca trails, so send a pigeon or something." (Dr. Glass talking about what he's doing as soon as finals are over.)

English
"Let's all swear a blood oath not to use the words 'stream of conciousness'"
"The billionth time I move a comma inside the quote marks, I get to kill that person. And no jury of my peers- other English teachers- would blame me a bit."
"How are you today?" "Well, full to the brim with discourse."
"And, by God, when we pay all that money for you to go to college, don't learn anything we didn't already teach you at home... That would upset the apple cart, wouldn't it?"
"I think the threat has gone out of literature. Except maybe in the minds of old nuns."
"...very unique. I hate that word. Disregard that remark."
"My first book sold more copies than Moby Dick. It sold 608. And got good reviews in England."
"Now, if you live in a convent and score 40 touchdowns in a season, it isn't going to mean much to the other nuns."
"If Norman (Mailer) was arrested for machine gunning the children in a playground, his mother would say 'They must have deserved it.'"
"Once upon a time, shortly before motown,..."
"The army is filled with guys named Yossarian. Just like Rice is. They're all over."
"There are people in the Texas legislature that want us all to carry guns on busses to save ourselves from all the other old people carrying guns."
"A quite different mood. Rather than saying 'oh crap! we're crazy!' we're saying 'Yes! We're crazy!'"
"When you fall in love with somebody else, part of it is they have a better fiction about you than you do."

Physics:
"When you think of electrons... when do you think of electrons? On a lonely Friday night? On an idle Saturday afternoon? Sunday after church?"
"You know.. you have those SAT Questions... Chair is to table as Aunt is to.. uncle."
"Say 10 years from now I run into you in a sidewalk cafe in Paris or Florence and we talk about old times... the one thing I want you to remember is that 1 man's E is another man's B."
"A... lost the word I'm looking for... lifeguard! Anyone work as a lifeguard... run to the beach.. and save people..?"

Diffe:
"I'm here to say 'Bolox!'"
"I'm a mathematician. I don't really care what the numbers actually are."
"I have 55 people in the room and none of you know Russian? Man, the Cold War really is over."
"You can lead a horse to water, and if he's one of my students he will drink."
"Theron was an emminent mathematician of the 20th century, and was particularly fond of donuts." (in imitation of a book about some french mathematician of the 18th century that liked boullabaise.)
"These may seem like perverse mathematical questions. After all, our inner mathematicians phrased them."
"Our inner experimental physicists should care about them, too."
"I feel my job as an instructor is to impart wisdom. I should tell you, don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. Like 'are you humoring me?' or 'Do these pants make me look fat?' You probably already know the answer and don't want to hear it anyway."
"Then you can say, if you're in a good rectangle, that it's time to book your cruise! Actually... I wouldn't go on a cruise. People are getting sick."
"Are you unimpressed by the firey doom of the planet?!"
"How do you have less than a whole dog? How do you have .9999723 dog? Sure, he might just have 3 legs, but we shouldn't hold that against him."
"Technically, I've commited an abuse of notation. The next step is we all say 'who cares?'."
"This differential equation is easy on the eyes. It's the Brad Pitt of equations."
"I said 'time', but I mean the dependant variable. But we usually use time to give ourselves something to hold onto. It's like our teddy bear."
"To get a really small number, take 1 over the national debt. 10^-10 is not as small a number as 1 over the national debt... unfortunately."
"There are a few mathematicians that use row vectors, but I view them as a bunch of loonies."
"Anybody wanna compliment me on how handsome I am and hope it raises their grade?"
"Are we going to need a mop because you're bored to tears?"
"A cloud of mystery descends upon the room."
"We can label this 'hope'... our most solemn desire.. or maybe it's not that passionate."
"I actually told a poop joke and nobody got it."
"Now that we are masters of all we survey in 2 variables..."
"Your variable could be smile face sub one -> smiley face sub n-1... and because you like it so much the last one could be pitchfork."
"You've spent all spring break perfecting your stupid looks."
"If the rabbit and the fox run into each other, it's bad for the rabbit."
"Fixed number of foxes... rabbits multiply because they're rabbits."
"It's a very mathematical trick.. interchange space and time."
"So null for 0 and cline for... why not cline?"
"So again, I'll just hide under the desk now."
"I think we should start writing direction vectors as curly q's, so if you could all start doing that in your notes.."
"I should scale my units to the 100's because 2/3 of a rabbit and 1/2 of a fox would be an ugly mess."
"I'm going to state the theorems, and we're going to believe them and it'll be ok."
"It's not just any equation, it's a star."
"Pardon me Mr. equation, you're on in five minutes."
"I think that's the best lame chuckle I've gotten all semester."
"Let's just say that the quadratic formula and I have fallen out of love. We've agreed to be friends but we've moved on."
"OK, everyone, clear you mind... and think of.. not the pigeon outside, because pigeons are kinda gross. There's a neat owl statue out there..."
"I know you might not spend as much time multiplying matrices in your head as I do..."
"I'm encouraging you to diss mathematics. I can't believe I just used the word diss in a sentence. I feel like I'm in 8th grade again."
"This is like magic. I introduce this kinda funny function behind one we already know and love."
"At this point, you should be feeling slightly frustrated."
"I spend enough time being an idiot at home. I don't know why I have to be one here with you guys, too."
"Fortunately, the exponential function comes riding to the rescue... like the Lone Ranger."
"It's an honest to goodness constant. It doesn't depend on time at all."

Organic Chem in Summer School:
"We're going to take a sort of Baptist approach to this..."
"You should be as aware of the signals of organic chemistry as you are the signals of love."
"I'm floating around, enjoying my atomic self, just like Mike is. Then, we start to interact and he rips my arm off. That's an ionic bond."
"They'll look at each other... 'hey how you doin?' 'I'm fine. Don't touch me.'"
"If you're forced to drink a poison in some Godforsaken country, take the sodium iodide not the sodium hydroxide."
"We didn't know mercury was dangerous back then, so we played with it all the time.."
"You have to believe in the Easter Bunny and other such stuff in this course."
"It looks like the board says 'Bambi.'"
"They're no different from other aminos except that they're different."

Fall Soph Year
Intro to Mechanical Engineering
"This is the humerus, which is weird because I always thought the funny bone was doen here *points to elbow*"
"You can skip all the nonsense... wait, it's not nonsense, it's the analysis that gives you the answer."

English- new class, same prof
"That's like saying Hamlet's out of print. It's the end of the West." (Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man is out of print.)
"It's 10 after 10. I need to get a coat before I go to my 11 o'clock. And, God, I hope they're all sick and don't show up."
"They're not as smart or attractive as you are."
"When Dickens writes a coincidence, it's in neon-- buh duh duh!!-- because it's in the last paragraph and the next event won't come out for a month. And it won't even be important 'til the 18th installment a year and a half later."
"She's not going to say that he threw himself on a fence, and not only that, there were rusty spikes and he caught an infection for which we should have given him a tetanus shot that hasn't been invented yet."
"The genius of colloquial language is the preposition."
"Poland was always the whipping boy of Eastern Europe."
"He bought the book, put it on the corner of his desk and never touched it. On his way to the Latin exam, he went to the bookstore and sold it back for full value.. and passed the course. He had a great jumpshot."
"It's like those people that tell you to think outside the box and you know by use of that phrase that they can't."
"Would I want to be Tiger Woods? Yeah. That'd be cool. He's about as savage as the dean."
"The nobel savage in today's America is the elementary school teacher."
"Count the adjectives (in Heart of Darkness) and fall right to sleep!"
"Today I'm going to talk about the integrity of the vaginal orgasm. When I was 15 and decided to be an English major, I never imagined it would come to this."
"I'm in charge of bringing germs to the leper colony."
"They don't write long books by accident."
"Gee Mssr Proust, another 1000 pages would be groovy."
"I loved Mrs. Dalloway, but it didn't have chutney. You can't have a good book without chutney."

Intro to Bioengineering
"Force. Mass. Not same!"
"This is not like a fairy land story.."
"Those of you that go into medicine, please note that concentration is not conserved."
"You can't balance this equation in your head... well, if you can, you're in the wrong major."
"Since the editors of the book didn't like talking about birth control to a bunch of college students..."
"I lied about the exam being easier than previous years."
"Doing these two things is why you'll get paid more than your bioc major friends when you graduate. I say this in the most loving way."
"It looks like some horrible, long homework assignment. But it's worse."
"So, unless things changed in physics since I was there, momentum problems involve things crashing into each other."
"You remember all that crossing and right hand rule crap?"
"It's not really an assumption. It's just kind of true."
"When you get a number in laminar flow, you could just panic..."

cell biology
"The male wants its offspring to be the biggest, strongest, healthiest it can be. The female wants that, but she has to be cautious... she has to carry the thing!"
"They were identified in flies. That's why they have such weird names."

English- different prof from the first
"Plummeting Santa Claus... kind of a gothic image."
"I think the Easter Bunny goes first."
"Apparently, Hemmingway punched Wallace Stevens out at a party once. Stevens belonged to an older generation. Was over 60 or so. I guess it wasn't a real manly thing of old Hem to do."
"The Calvinists were a cult. Like Jim Jones or the Waco thing."
"If you're depressed, try jogging. It's hard to be a depressed jogger. Those are not good jogs. 'Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I sweat so much? Why did God make me... oh, Nevermind.'"
"I suppose OJ's out trying to find the real killer. On a golf course in Florida. Where will the trail lead?"
"Tom Cruise has to be careful. He's approaching the 'too crazy to live' line."
"I'm here to bring the bad news. I'm not here to make things clear. I'm not a happy post-structuralist."
"Maybe historians will argue that Roosevelt knew that the Japs.. ahem.. Japanese were going to attack Pearl Harbor. I can't believe I almost called them Japs. What a bad teacherly moment."

Religious Studies- Who is Not a Jew
"Noone is an automaton programmed to do what their parents said, doing exactly what their parents did. Even people not at Rice aren't like that."
"It's not a good translation of the Hebrew at all, but it's the one that you think 'Oh yeah *snap* That's the Bible!'"
"Remind me of your name? Grant. Right. That's my name. I should remember that."
"It [circumcision] is no minor affair. Not a trauma I'd want to relive."
"I will give you Canaan. It will be your own... assuming you will kill all the Canaanites and wipe out their idols."
"They're the 'Daggers' and they have their leather jackets."
"Essenes were really into purification and imersion. There was a lot of dunking going on."
"I don't know how many of you closely read the Bible, especially in Hebrew..."
"I'm going to say this because I have to say this 'Damn those Jews! No offense to us Jews.'"
"Yeah, from my generic having read stuff."
"They say I'm a fleshy Jew. I'm not a fleshy Jew! They're fleshy Jews!"
"He was doing a lot of crazy s***." (re: Shakespeare)
"I chase people around reading passages from these books."
"Sometimes I look at my four year old daughter and think 'Am I not four?'"
"Jesus brought a great message. We should all live like Jews. We're ethical monotheists!"


I continued writing them down as profs said them but I haven't compiled them out of my notebooks yet. Maybe that will be my project for the evening.
-Kim

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Postby Virlomi » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:13 am

Last year I had the zaniest prof. for Art History. Here were some of my favorites:

"If you're looking for a cheap trip this weekend, put down the pot and go read the book of Revelations!"

“I knew a guy in seventh grade who got a razor for christmas!… I didn’t know if he got pubic hair yet. I didn’t know him that well.”

"If you want to be a cadaver, you go out and be a criminal, that's what you do!"

And my favorite, while explaining the story of a demi-God chasing after a particularly beautiful wood nymph:

"And well, you just can't rape a tree!"
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Postby Jayelle » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:23 am

Wow, you have tons Kim!

We used to have alot of fun with quotes from my favourite English prof, many of them are only funny if you know the guy, but I'll post a few that are funny regardless.

After several people bringing up "Commando": "Wait, so Commando is...when...you're not wearing...underwear?... Interesting."

-"Just think of Winnie the Pooh. Of course, if you do, you'll be wrong."

-"Kids with ADD are really just fairies."

-"If you play football, you understand exactly what’s going on here, if you don’t, you…don’t"

-Student: "I’m not sure what you’re getting at." Prof: "Neither am I."

-"Beowulf is like poetry for linebackers"
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Postby zeroguy » Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:40 pm

One of my favorites from high school was something like:

"Teaching is like leading a horse to water... and then watching it die of thirst."
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Postby Miss Abbie » Fri Nov 03, 2006 8:55 pm

This is a lovely piece of wisdom from my Latin teacher:

"If you go running into a brick wall, well, that's sort of stupid."
If you ever find yourself reading a book entitled The Bible, you will find yourself reading the story of Adam and Eve, whose daring lives led them to put on clothing for the first time to escape from the snake infested garden in which they were living.

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Postby Rei » Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:00 pm

My Latin prof:

"Scary? You think this class is scary? You should see some of my collegues! They've got blood dripping off their fangs!"
Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.
~Blaise Pascal


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Postby Claire » Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:07 pm

Haha. My calculus professor this year is the cookiest guy ever. Awful teacher but he's such a funny guy. I just recently started writing down some of his quotes...

He screwed up somewhere in writing down a theorem, and ended up basically saying that something equals itself: "Well, thats true but its not very interesting."

"I no longer use the terms 'inscribed' and 'circumscribed' because I once made a mistake about that."

"Thats a big number. More than all the protons and neutrons added up...I should know, I counted them."

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Postby v-girl » Sun Nov 19, 2006 10:28 pm

i wish i could remember all the funny ones.

"oh, i dropped my balls"--gen chem professor when he dropped a molecular model.

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Postby Miss Abbie » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:16 pm

My Latin teacher: "Achilles apparently had, uh, a little fun with one of the girls in the convent, eh?"
If you ever find yourself reading a book entitled The Bible, you will find yourself reading the story of Adam and Eve, whose daring lives led them to put on clothing for the first time to escape from the snake infested garden in which they were living.

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Postby Locke_ » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:03 pm

"I won't encourage you to be a Democrat or a Republican, but I do encourage you to be a Democrat or a Republican." Economics, senior year high school.
It is not the sound of victory;
it is not the sound of defeat;
it is the sound of singing that I hear.
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Postby Virlomi » Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:55 am

Wait, seriously?

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Postby Mahatma » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:34 pm

A compendium of quotes from my Computer Models of Language Representation and Processing professor this semester:

“Mr. Gates and his minions out in Seattle…”

“You can be my informants. I always like to have informants out there.”

“I’m not making light of romantic relationships, it’s just that you’re young and these things are important to you. I guess. If not, more power to you!”

On philosophy of language: “We’ll hook it up to something real... Oops, did I say that?”

“Now what I’m going to reveal to you folks is the instructions to the universe.”

“I’m just trying to get your intuition pumps going –” (makes *swish swish swish* noises)

prof: I don’t know if anyone plays with Barbies anymore…
student (on the juggling team): Only once in a while.
prof: I thought you juggled them. That was quite a cruel act there.

“The key word [isomorphism] is another word to use in the dining hall, or at Cam’s… it’s guaranteed to get you thrown out at the Sting … or better yet, the Nuthouse (local bars).”

On square brackets: “It’s something again you can use to amuse and abuse your friends.”

On Chomsky: “That guy doesn’t seem to go away, like a bad party guest.”

“We [cognitive scientists] didn’t come up with these silly examples, it was the linguists… troublemakers.”

“I have Prolog dreams. What’s the matter?! I’m sure you guys do too!”

“A Monty Python-esque search for functions. Nee!”

On cartoon of a sleeping class: “You guys are actually far more attentive than these lazy Stanford students!”

After pulling a razor out of his pocket: “If things go wrong, I can always commit suicide.”

“I expended all my bad jokes in the first five minutes of class.”

“Rice pudding, truth, justice, the American way, Superman, it’s all in there.”

On Amsterdam: “The university is actually located right next to the red light district. And it’s not just for the guys, ladies…”

On Bob Ross's painting show: “If I’m sick and I ever need to go to sleep, I just put the tape on.”

“A nice cushy job at MIT where you drink lattes all day. Or Amsterdam, they have pretty good lattes too. And other things…”

“It’s a good thing it’s the planet Venus and not Pluto, cos it’s not a planet anymore. When I heard that, I was gonna wear a black armband to class…”

“Here’s an example of – whoops! It’s not an example of whoops.”

“It’s our last three-day weekend before Thanksgiving. Unless you take a three-day weekend.”

After the class explains Futurama: “And this is my mind blown.”

prof: You like hot weather, don’t you?
student: No.
prof: Oh…

“Today is a Tuesday, and it feels like a Monday, but tomorrow we have a Wednesday and it feels like a Wednesday.”

“The students rose up, and they murdered him. Death by bad teaching.”

“A program a day keeps the neuroparalysis away.”

“Chomsky… he’s like a greased-up pig in some ways.”

“It’s part of my pedagogic moments, it’s one of these… it’s like an epiphany.”

“Don’t you just like being called honey-bunny?”

“Again, one of the things an educated person can do is impress his/her friends and use this particular type of language.”

“They’re Amsterdam-ers. They get the munchies after doing things.”

“All of Bill Gates’ programmers and all of Bill Gates’ systems analysts couldn’t put a grammar together again.”

student: You talk about Bill Gates like I talk about Frege.
prof: Frege is a true genius, Bill Gates is just a catalyst.

“This is so beautiful. I mean, I just wanna cry.” (about semantic model)

“I figured it out. 1 (unity) x 2 (duality) x 3 (trinity) x 7 (the magic number) = 42. I’m smarter than the Vogons! That means I’m an extraterrestrial.”

“That is the path to madness. Or, it’s the path to a lot of typing of a lot of rules. Which could be the path to madness.”

“I thought somebody had some sort of nauseous cell phone in here…”

On violating Grice’s maxims: “Someone you think is a complete bimbo, or bimba, whatever…”

“Some of you will be getting a lump of coal, if you ask me. I didn’t name names!”

“They’re asking what is the meaning of life, what is love, truth, the American way…”

“It’s all one… the hippies were right.”

“A little bit of etymology which you might be able to edify your friends with.”

“You got me thinking about Chomsky… fun… pshhh… what an arrogant guy.”

“…the latte-lacking zone.”

“Tagging is fun. Tag is everywhere. Tag, you’re it! Show me your tags! That’s what a linguist would do.”

“I would not expect when I walk into a restaurant to get a pie in the face.”

“The Philadelphia cheese steak algorithm!”

“Mamacita! Okay, anyway…”

“We’ve lured you to the dark side. Look, those two always wear dark clothes. Think about it. So do I!”

On Claude Levi-Strauss: “He liked to wear jeans a lot when he was out doing field work.”

“In most cases, the computer is smarter than you are, the aliens get you, and you die a horrible virtual death…. *splat!*”

“Can’t seem to get madeleines anywhere near here. Seems to me I need to go somewhere for Thanksgiving where I can get a madeleine. That means far away.”

student: I got like three hours of sleep last night.
prof: What?! I often get that, what’s the matter?! You’re a young man!

“Did you talk like that before you came in here? I hope I didn’t ruin any relationships. I always try to promote love.”
"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

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Postby VelvetElvis » Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:56 pm

"That what meninges are for. When you bang your head on the the desk during my lecture exams, your brain still goes *SLARSH SLARSH SLARSH!(waves arms wildly)*, but it's only a little slarsh slarsh slarsh compared to what it could be. It could move like the black part in googly-eyes does. When you pray tonight, you had better thank God for your meninges!"
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Postby Ithilien » Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:43 pm

Calc teacher:

Student: Sir did you cut your hair?
Teacher: No...
Student: Well it looks different.
Teacher: The rate of my hair growing is changing.
"You can't dig a hole and then hide the dirt in the hole you dug. Then it wouldn't be a hole anymore!"

- on secret tunnelling, Empire

"I cannot eat these two eggs. They are completely different sizes!"

- Hercule Poirot

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Postby Claire » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:35 pm

My International Studies prof: "We'll be reading one book a week, the longest being 600 pages...that one is for over spring break. So you'll be reading about Lebanon when you're in Cancun."

Ithilien
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Postby Ithilien » Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:52 pm

Bio teacher: "Your brain is smarter than you."
"You can't dig a hole and then hide the dirt in the hole you dug. Then it wouldn't be a hole anymore!"

- on secret tunnelling, Empire

"I cannot eat these two eggs. They are completely different sizes!"

- Hercule Poirot

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Rei
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Postby Rei » Wed Jan 24, 2007 9:51 pm

In my Ling229 class, which is phonology:

The prof is discussing the insertion and deletion of sounds and how a language may do either in a given scenerio.

Student: "In Ling100 they told us to always go with deletion because it is very difficult for a language to insert a sound, making deletion far more likely."

Prof: "Well, no."

*10 minute break*

Prof: "Everything they taught you in Ling100 was a lie. Well, not all a lie. Some of it was just to trick you. The rest was a lie."
Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.
~Blaise Pascal


私は。。。誰?

Dernhelm

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Postby VelvetElvis » Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:28 pm

AMHIST1010 professor:

"By that time, the colonists was drinkin' the h8eraide." (writes "h8eraide" on the board) "It was Anti-British flavor. Were they the British then? Why can't they just pick a name?"

a few minutes later...

"Thats when the colonist decided it was time to bus' a cap in some british glutes. The british all had bowflexes."
Yay, I'm a llama again!

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SquigglyJane
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Postby SquigglyJane » Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:38 pm

History in Philosophy of Science professor:

"You know...all you really need is a warm night, a bottle of wine, and some Sappho and, well, its going to be a good night"
--on planning romantic evenings

"Could be spite. Spite's fun."
--on littering next to trash cans

Student: " They did a study where they sterilized inmates, but then one had a kid and he was an honor student. What do you think about that?"
Prof: "I think they didn't do a very good job of sterilizing him, did they?"
--on Eugenics

"The appendix is useful for surgeons who need to buy a yacht, but other than that..."
-- on cause and purpose

"A cat is walking down the street...barelling down the street is a steam roller. Before you had a cat...now you have a flat cat."
--on substantial change

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Postby Fodi » Sun Feb 11, 2007 2:24 pm

Philosophy of Critical Thinking

Prof: I'm here to teach you all to think critically. Can anyone think why?

No response from class.

Prof: Exactly! We're off to a great start.


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