Philotic Web

Er... poo. We should have a place for this kind of discussion, yes? I'll start.


(mods, feel free to modhammer if you feel this isn't an appropriate topic)


I have never, ever, not even once experienced a DADS. Soft serve, yes. DADS, no.



... sorry, couldn't help it. Just got done putting this together, due to a discussion with a friend of mine, I felt like sharing, and it just seemed too perfect. I'm not making fun of the other thread, I swear! In fact, I'll go post a serious reply right now...

That is far more... specific... than the Bristol Stool Scale.

Actually, sometimes I think I should contact them and let them know about some of the things I've seen (and can never unsee) that don't fit the chart at all.

EL, I love you so much for posting in this thread. Alea didn't think anyone would. But, you helped me prove her wrong!

In fact, if I get a few more OT posts in here, I'll totally post the most embarrassing story I've got, that is OT, in the other thread!

Today I watched a calf spew yellow, liquid, foul smelling feces out his butt onto another calf laying on the ground nearby.

Oh, veterinary medicine.

I believe that means you can check off "Number Three", and date it.

Man, I was thinking about poop today. So this is convenient.

I poop at, like, the exact same time every day. But somehow this gets thrown off on weekends. I also prefer to poop at home, because I enjoy taking my time. I like to make sure I'm done, you know? And I can't rush it, it just doesn't work that way. These two problems collide for obvious reasons almost every Monday when I start needing to have to poop at work, try to hold off, then end up making too many bathroom breaks because I've already gone to the bathroom at least once that day and I get paranoid that everyone's tracking how many times I've gone to the bathroom.

Also there's this huge diaspora between bathroom readers and not. My family, all of them, are bathroom readers. We take our time in the bathroom. Anyone else can't really tell why you would spend so much time in there you would need something to read. It relaxes you! It helps you make sure you're completely done!

Pooping is weird.

First off: Bathroom reading, FTW. I would be so bored.

Secondly: As a mom of a potty-training kid, oh man do I deal with poop. I am proud of poop. Every day I have to be proud my my big girl who poops on her potty.
She's started parroting it back to us.

"Mommy, are you SO proud of me? Are you SO proud I pooped?"

and

"Look at my big poop!" "Look at my little poop!" "Look at my poop that's shaped like a C"
ETC ETC ETC..... sigh.

First, Wil: I hate you for this thread.

Two: You got a few replies, so go tell that story so I can laugh at it again.

Three: I still hate you for this thread. But, in a good way, I think.

Bathroom reader!

Ginny is hilarious.

I ended up having to poop right before work, today. It clogged the toilet. And we hadn't bought a plunger for the new place.

My poor, poor wife.

Poor thing, we learned the hard way the a new plunger is a first day in a new apartment must a few years ago.

Yay for not having constipation during pregnancy! If anything, things have gotten more regular, especially over the past couple of weeks! (I assume this is due to my - at least somewhat - improved eating habits.) There were a few weeks of weirdness and adjustment, but lately all seems to be going well, bowel-wise.

I cannot believe I am posting this.

Yay for not having constipation during pregnancy! If anything, things have gotten more regular, especially over the past couple of weeks! (I assume this is due to my - at least somewhat - improved eating habits.) There were a few weeks of weirdness and adjustment, but lately all seems to be going well, bowel-wise.

I cannot believe I am posting this.

Yay on your behalf. It is seriously the worst thing ever. I think it was more painful then the birth itself.

Can't believe I missed this!

Does that mean you've experienced the postpartum poo? I've heard it's an awful thing indeed.

You bumped this just to bug Alea, didn't you?

I'm just giving her crap.

Ha ha, get it?

... Guys? *chirp*

You can't see me at the moment but my face is flushed with anger.

Oh is that what that look is? I figured you were trying to push out a rather dense load.

Straining is bad, because it can burst blood vessels surrounding the anus, cause small tears, and also cause hemorrhoids!

It can also cause your heart rate to slow to the point of stopping. Ask Elvis.

It also sometimes triggers a migraine in me. But so does blowing my nose.

While we are on the topic, I hate having irritable bowel syndrome. I just alternate between constipation and diarrhea. Not fun. Enjoy your normal bowels, people!

I hate having irritable bowel syndrome.

Hey, me too.

I was punning, not straining. Enjoy your poop talk!

A friend recently commented that hoo boy, look out for those explosive diaper poos! Of ALL the parenting terrors that await me, I can safely say that that is one thing I do NOT fear. Bring it. (Sleep deprivation is far more terrorising!)

My nephew had one of those this weekend. All over his onesie and shorts.

I really need to stop eating/drinking things with blue dye.

The neon green poop is starting to freak me out.

What on earth have you been eating that has so much blue dye?

What on earth have you been eating that has so much blue dye?

We celebrated my birthday with ice cream cake that had a lot of blue dye in the icing.

Before that it was a lot of grape powerade.

I ate a LOT of spinach a few nights ago. Yesterday, green poop.

I love old books and the search for them. I have problems with the idea of handling a great old book and knowing it spent time in some ones bathroom. "Just saying"

Red velvet cake is great for bright red poops.

My pooping toilet (yes, I have a specific pooping toilet) has developed some unpleasant stains. I owned toilet bowl cleaner, I just didn't have a brush. So, tonight, I purchased one from Amazon.

Pheeny has been having more frequent and watery stools. I would have taken a sample in for a fecal check but the vet is so far away, it makes it difficult. Hence, my purchase of a microscope and DIY fecal testing kit.

On the human front, I have been constipated of late (see the aforementioned IBS) so tonight I'll probably take what I call my "poop pill". It's actually just 500g magnesium. It's an incredibly laxative for me. I've actually had to start opening the capsule and dumping (no pun intended) more than half out because I'm so sensitive to it. I've never been able to take any kind of actual laxative because I have such a violent reaction to them.

(How's that for you, Wil? )

A hot cup of coffee and a bag of popcorn do it for me if I haven't gone in a while.

Magnesium chelate, which I take regularly, makes for great poops!