(NSFW) Let's Talk About...

[mr_thebrain]

apparently mine is much too heavy to float. hmmm

turtling is quite common. mine does too from time to time such as when i run. though not every time i run. not sure what its reasons are for when it chooses to turtle and when it chooses to not. i swear it truly does have a mind of its own.

and yes, storing semen gives you super powers. alas, i will never find out what it's like to have them. you go ahead and try it and let me know how it works for you.

[CezeN]

I expected more from sex, to be honest. As much as sex is hyped up to be this absolutely wonderful, amazing, life changing event, I was a little disappointed by it. Not that I didn't enjoy it, quite the opposite in fact. I was just expecting an Earth shattering experience, which never really happened. The best part, I think, was just the fact that there was someone else there to experience and enjoy that part of myself and them with.

This reminds me of this Cracked.com article
http://www.cracked.com/article_19376_5- ... ng_p2.html

"When you're doing it with the motivation or expectation that these things ought to make you happy, that can lead to disappointment and decreased happiness."

Basically, you shouldn't expect so much from something, because you'll be unhappy that it doesn't live up to your own hype.

[Luet]

turtling is quite common. mine does too from time to time such as when i run. though not every time i run. not sure what its reasons are for when it chooses to turtle and when it chooses to not. i swear it truly does have a mind of its own.

Two quotes from my favorite Seinfeld episode.
"I was in the pool!" - George
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things." - Elaine

[VelvetElvis]

it might turtle when you get old, expecially if you get fat, too. I've had to press on men's abdomens in order to get enough of the penis out to grab the head so I can put a catheter in!

[neo-dragon]

apparently mine is much too heavy to float. hmmm

I imagine that the floating is less evident if it's really short.

[mr_thebrain]

nope, i'm pretty sure it's just made of lead

[Gravity Defier]

Oh, how cute. Men exhibiting stereotypical male behavior. I've never seen that before.

[mr_thebrain]

you had to know it was going to happen in a thread like this

[neo-dragon]

How about you demonstrate some typical female behaviour and go make us some sandwiches!

[starlooker]

Me to Husband (who is busy playing Call of Duty): Honey, does your penis float?

Him: WHAT? *accidentally throws a grenade*

Me: Does your penis float? In water?

Him: *sputters* I don't know. What are you reading?

[mr_thebrain]

man, if you're going to be trying to put a woman in the kitchen, you should have asked for beer too...

[Gravity Defier]

How about you demonstrate some typical female behaviour and go make us some sandwiches!

man, if you're going to be trying to put a woman in the kitchen, you should have asked for beer too...

Keep that up* and I'm going to rip Excalibur off the one of you and smack the other upside the head with it.




*[insert bad joke here]

[Jayelle]

This thread has gone in a very odd direction.

[Gravity Defier]

And yet I love this thread so much.

[mr_thebrain]

Excalibur was pulled from a stone. and while i've been with a variety of women, mostly crazy, the rest bitches. some of them were both. but none of them were rocks. that takes a special kind of kinkiness.

though i'm sure a joke could be made about blood from stone vs periods...

[mr_thebrain]

And yet I love this thread so much.

me too. i'm sure others would have to agree, it quickly got to 2 pages.

[VelvetElvis]

Boobs float, too, though.

[starlooker]

I don't think mine do. I mean, if I am floating, then they float. But I've never noticed them trying to bob up and down or anything. However, I've never been skinny dipping. Maybe it's different. Hm.

*tries to figure out how to do a more thorough boob floatation experiment that would not involve public nudity*

[VelvetElvis]

Really? Mine become these super boobs! I swear if I ever should decide to have nude photos done, I'll have one underwater just so my tits look great!

[starlooker]

Is it getting too personal if I ask how big they are, in just an approximate sort of way? (Mine are definitely much larger than average, maybe that has something to do with it?)

[VelvetElvis]

I think this is probably a place for over share, anyway, so I'll spill. Im a 28 ribcage with 37 bust.


ETA: inches, of course. God bless Amurrica.

[Wil]

Okay, time for my story!

So. Back in April, after just getting hired at my job, the cute receptionist asks me if I want to give blood. Her being cute has nothing to do with the story, I've always wanted to give blood so I would have agreed if she asked me whether she being cute or not. I just felt like sharing her physical attractiveness.

Anyways, the day comes, and I give blood! They stick the needle in my left arm and drain me of my precious cells and plasma. They wrap my arm up with a cotton ball and a bunch of sticky tape then give me a juice and tell me to take it easy the rest of the day.

"Yeah, whatever!" I say, as I skip my way out of the bloodmobile and back on over to work.

Fast forward about five hours. I'm back home, completely forgotten about having given blood. It's late evening, just a little bored, andmore than just a little lascivious. Like any warm blooded male, I decide to, ahem, take matters in to my own hands.

So I light some candles, put on a little Barry White, put a little something special on... Ah, who am I kidding - I just go at it like a teenage boy.

Depending on how boastful I am feeling, some length of time goes by. Now that I've satiated those primal desires, I begin to notice a slight tingle in my arm. I look down at my arm and what I see is quite a frightening thing. Imagine, if you will, that you took a large grape and put it under your skin. Now imagine that this grape is throbbing like it's a pimple about to burst. This almost describes what I saw.

"Oh, s***! What the hell?!" I proclaim, as I jump to my feet. Oh yeah, I gave blood, I think to myself. My vision starts to go dark around the edges. My hearing starts to get really shallow. I wobble a little bit. Uh oh, I'm about to pass out... I sit back down and wait for the blood to return to my head and for my heart rate to go down.

This is the bruise I was left with. The unofficial story I went with is that I moved some boxes around my room.

Let this be a lesson to all of you!

Also, this brings up another interesting point that I'd to see what other guys say: I am right handed, but I typically masturbate with my left hand. Uncommon?

[mr_thebrain]

right handed. both in use and in misuse

[VelvetElvis]

Wil, I was expecting a really sordid tale. I am disappoint.

Annnnd I asked Mr. Dear which hand he uses, and he said right. He's right dominant as well.

[Wil]

I am sorry to disappoint.

[Gravity Defier]

I am right handed, but I typically masturbate with my left hand. Uncommon?

Not a guy, of course, but I really thought it was typical for most to use their dominant hand.

[mr_thebrain]

i don't know about that. some get into the use of non dominant hand because it feels more like someone else is doing it.

that or they don't want to get their dominant hand dirty.

or they're multitasking and they use their dominant hand to cook or something while doing the deed with the other.

[VelvetElvis]

I'm a lefty, but I use my right hand to use scissors and open jars. Feel better?

[mr_thebrain]

this makes me wonder which hand you use on your husband.

[starlooker]

Having just googled "Do boobs float?" I feel I can definitively say that some women say yes and some say no. So, maybe it depends on some random factor. Or, maybe we're defining floating differently. Or I'm unobservant.

This last possibility began bugging me.

Me: "Honey, do my boobs float?"
Him: "What?" (less surprise this time.)
Me: "When I'm swimming. Do my boobs float?"
Him: "I don't know, you're wearing a swimming suit."
Me: "Well, I've never really noticed, so I thought you might have."
Him: (slightly exasperated) "I don't know. Okay, what's all this interest in things floating all of a sudden?"

[Gravity Defier]

I'm a lefty, but I use my right hand to use scissors and open jars.

I'm a righty, use scissors with the right, open jars with the left, when doing the register at work hold coins in the right but grab and count with the left, and masturbate with the right.

Him: (slightly exasperated) "I don't know. Okay, what's all this interest in things floating all of a sudden?"

*laughs*

[starlooker]

Also, I felt slightly like a freak when Google did NOT autofill that search for me. Google autofills EVERY question I ask these days. All but one. Or two. It also does not autofill "Do breasts float?"

I daren't try penises.

[Mich]

For the record, my penis floats and I've seen boobs floating previously.

And I'm dominant righty but ambidextrous when doing the deed, if you will.

Phew, I've been spilling random personal information in P-Web today. Way to go, everybody who made these weird threads.

[zeroguy]

but it's just a muscle, so imagine squeezing your bicep until it hurts.

But it's not a muscle! It's really just a flexible container that fills with blood, and ever since I found that out I try not to squeeze too hard because I think it'll pop like a balloon or something.

Just don't try to bend it a way it doesn't want to go when it's hard. That hurts.

I'm a leftie but jack off rightie (you people and your silly euphemisms). I always thought it was strange, as I think I do everything else with my left hand.

[Gravity Defier]

If ever I come running to the boards, squealing about having a real live boyfriend of my own, don't congratulate me. Remind me that I want to test out a squeeze or five to see what their pain threshold is. Thanks.