Dearly Beloved

[Young Val]

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to my 32 oz Bodum Chambord French Press (Item Number: 1923-16).

Oh, FP! I remember when I brought you home from Bed, Bath & Beyond just over a year ago. I couldn't have bought anything more perfect with that $50 gift card! You were so sleek and elegant, standing tall between the two Bodum double-walled Pavina glasses that came with you! (Bonus!) One of those glasses, poor thing, smashed to smithereens within weeks. The other sits far back in the deep darkness of our shelf; we're too scared to use him, now.

But you!

You, FP, we used you every day! Hot coffee in boiling time + 4 minutes! Cold-press iced coffee over night! We even traveled with you! Brought you up to the cabin for our weekend stays. We couldn't bear to be parted, FP. You and us, we were inseparable.

All our friends wanted you. You elevated every brunch, made every post-dinner-party coffee & dessert seem even more sophisticated. Your mirror-bright metal frame sparkling in the light, reflecting back the longing looks we all bestowed on you, as we feasted on your perfect simplicity, your undeniable charm, your f****** amazing coffee.

We all knew it would have to happen sometime, FP. But when your delicate glass beaker cracked...my heart cracked, too.

We unearthed a dusty, distant relation. He's plastic, squat and unappealing. He keeps the coffee coming, but he doesn't bring us any joy. Not the way you did, FP.

I want you to know that I miss you. That I will always, always love you. That the second I can afford it, I'm buying another one of you. Seriously, really, as soon as possible, it is happening. You will be resurrected, FP. We will be together again. May that time be sooner rather than later.

And until then, may your pour be ever perfect. In Coffee Maker Heaven, FP, I know there is some counter space cleared just for you.

Amen.

[Petra456]

I am so sorry for your loss! : (

At least you'll always have the memories.

[steph]

FP, thank you for the loving service you gave to our dear friend Kelly. You made her so happy and in doing so, made those around her happier as well. We grieve for her pain. Please let the laundry fairies know that now is the time for planting random twenty dollar bills in forgotten pockets.

[Young Val]

Thank you both for your sympathy in this difficult time. FP was well-loved, and shall not be forgotten soon.

(Please, if you are mourning the loss of some beloved object of your own, know that we're all here for you. Lost earring? Totaled car? Old, immensely comfortable sweater that cannot, under any circumstances, be worn in public any longer due to being threadbare and ripped and covered in stains and which you have already held on to for far too long for purely sentimental reasons and which your mother/significant other/friend has finally convinced you to part with? Unburden yourself).

[Mich]

i am truley sorry for your lots

[powerfulcheese04]

Beloved formal silverware we registered for,

Why are you out of stock one month before my bridal shower? Why are you so delightfully simple and reasonably priced so that nothing compares? Please come back before July so that I don't have to pick new silverware...

[Young Val]

:::puts up LOST posters for Formal Silverware and include Kimmie's contact info so she can add those babies to her registry the moment they're found:::

[powerfulcheese04]

It worked! They came back into stock today!!

[Young Val]

I'M MAGICAL!


If only I could bring FP back from the dead...

[ender1]

We want a french press now.

[Young Val]

You should absolutely get one. I highly recommend the Bodum Chambord.

[steph]

It worked! They came back into stock today!!

Wow, Kelly is amazing!

I'm glad your silverware came back!

[GS]

Typically I do not have strong feelings toward inanimate objects...typically. But Kelly, what you wrote was so eloquently worded as only you could, that my heart really goes out to you, yours and, of course, the FP. FP was surely loved and is definitely missed. May the heir to the coffee throne be a suitable replacement.

[VelvetElvis]

The clasp of my favorite necklace is missing.

this necklace:

The necklace that I wore at my wedding:



And it is broken. Like my heart. </3

[powerfulcheese04]

The silverware is gone again!

[Syphon the Sun]

The silverware is gone again!

Maybe somebody bought them for you!

[powerfulcheese04]

It's not gone off my registry, just out of stock! At least it isn't out of stock at the manufacturer's website.

We've decided that we like this silverware so much that if we don't get it off the registry, we will just buy it ourselves from Mikasa.

[Syphon the Sun]

It's not gone off my registry, just out of stock! At least it isn't out of stock at the manufacturer's website.

We've decided that we like this silverware so much that if we don't get it off the registry, we will just buy it ourselves from Mikasa.

Wait, so you know what you're getting before you actually get it? That just seems... wrong. (Are most places like this? I never actually checked our registry before the wedding, but maybe I could have? We did get something after the wedding saying we could get X% off what was left on the registry, which we used.)

Plus, people don't always check it off the registry. We got the same 4 sets of dishes from our registry.

[powerfulcheese04]

I've still been editing the registry, which is how I know they're not ticked off the registry. I've also been checking that silverware to see if its in stock since my.bridal shower is 2 weeks away and that seems like a good shower gift (its in a good.price range.)

Also, the store told us to check periodically and make sure the registry was still well stocked, because it is frustrating for guests to go buy something and only have like 4 options left on the registry.


Also gone: the calphalon knife set we wanted... but it's gone in a calphalon-doesn't-make-it-anymore.way.

[VelvetElvis]

You mean this knife set?

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml11/11246.html

[powerfulcheese04]

Yep. Beautiful, well balanced, nicely gripped knives. What was that one person doing carrying the block around with the knives in it anyway to get a laceration? (In other words, I think it's a silly recall)

[Syphon the Sun]

Yep. Beautiful, well balanced, nicely gripped knives. What was that one person doing carrying the block around with the knives in it anyway to get a laceration? (In other words, I think it's a silly recall)

And this is why I hate tort law.

[starlooker]

Today I am mourning the retirement of two of my dearly beloved shirts.

They are colorful, beautifully printed, the epitome of dressy/casual, fine to wear with jeans or dress slacks, and worked so nicely with my body. I wore one of them just last Friday. It is very hard to find clothes that suit me, that make me feel pretty and professional. I can never seem to find shirts that I like. But these two? Perfect. I have never had shirts I have felt like this about before, and I doubt there will be others to come.

They were babydoll style tops, and I always did have the lurking fear that they might make me look pregnant. Well, I needn't have worried. Because when I put them on yesterday, it turned out that they look totally different now that I actually am pregnant. Wearing them would be like making an announcement with a bullhorn. Alas, I am not ready to make such an announcement, yet, and they just don't make me feel nearly so pretty anymore. The bust no longer fits correctly, and unless I hold my stomach in very carefully, it's quite obviously sticking out.

(Also, now I really have to go clothes shopping. They were a very significant part of my summer wardrobe. I hate shopping at the best of times. This is not the best of times. I cannot believe how rapidly my body is changing.)

[Eaquae Legit]

I continue to mourn the loss of my purse. I continue to be baffled, amused, and outraged at its undignified demise. (Seriously, McDonalds, you couldn't even give it the respect of stealing from it? You threw it in the garbage??)

I posted pictures of it last year, when I got it. And I posted pictures of the wallet I adored which was in it. The purse, being an upcycled leather jacket sewn by Mennonites, can never be replaced. One of a kind. The wallet I drooled over for a year before seeing on sale and buying it. They don't make them anymore. I loved that wallet so much!

And while we're at it, I'm going to mourn the loss of my childhood library card. I hung onto that for decades deliberately! It was cracking into pieces and missing chunks, but I've had that library card my whole life! I can't replace it! I spent years refusing to exchange it for a new, more durable card.

Some part of me wishes I could find out which landfill it went to so I could go dig it up. Those items mean that much to me. The main thing stopping me is the sheer impossibility of the task.

You will be avenged, my dearly-cherished purse and contents. You will be avenged.

[LilBee91]

Today, I am mourning the loss of my small Pyrex dish. It has been missing for months, but the sadness of the lid with no dish is especially poignant today. Where it went, I have not a clue.

Likewise, I am without my 2-cup liquid measuring cup. Though I believe that one went with my roommate to her newlywed apartment by mistake.

My sympathies for the purse. Perfect purses and wallets are far too hard to find.

[ender1]

I'd be sad if my woven stainless steel wallet would die on me

[Eaquae Legit]

My sympathies for the purse. Perfect purses and wallets are far too hard to find.

IN THE GARBAGE!

(I'm sorry. It's been well over two months now, and I'm still outraged at the indignity. It was a nice purse and not at all resembling a piece of trash.)

[locke]

I am mourning the loss of my bluetooth, which I had thought was somewhere in my apartment, however I'll do a thorough cleaning of my car this weekend and see if it somehow migrated there, but as of now it appears to be lost.

[Jayelle]

I totally feel your pain, Kelly. Paul has broken not one but TWO of my French Presses. And he doesn't even drink coffee.

[locke]

http://www.amazon.com/Frieling-Ultimo-S ... 122&sr=8-2

I have one of these, expensive, but I don't have to keep rebuying glass bottles. plus it keeps the coffee hotter, longer.

also, doing the 'scoop out the grounds' technique just before pressing means that if you don't pour all the coffee out in two cups, the coffee remaining in the pot won't get too bitter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfN116i4mVg

[Petra456]

My lobster towel...

It's been the BEST towel I have ever owned, and it just ripped! It was bought for me by Will because it was a cute lobster pattern that he knew I would love. I've used the heck out of this towel for the past three years. It's thin enough that it drys quickly, but fluffy enough that it drys me off really well. It was only three dollars, but I LOVED it!

The rip is even right though a lobsters claw, poor thing!

: (

[steph]

No!!! That sounds tragic. I mourn with you.

[VelvetElvis]

This isn't a thing, exactly, but I haven't been able to even stand the smell of fried chicken for about a month now. It used to be one of my favorite foods.

[Jayelle]

This isn't a thing, exactly, but I haven't been able to even stand the smell of fried chicken for about a month now. It used to be one of my favorite foods.

...now I'm all suspicious. You know what smell aversions mean.

[Eaquae Legit]

Working at KFC.