Brontosaurus Lays an Egg

[starlooker]

Good for you, Ali. Good luck getting them on your side for the home birth.

~~

So, I mail-ordered a swimming suit from some chain maternity store. Reasonably priced and cutesy tankini, because apparently all maternity swimsuits are tankinis. Yeah.

GRRRRR.

Here's my problem. It's not that the one I ordered did not fit or have adequate support in the chest. After all, it was mail order, right? That's just the chance you take.

It's that when I took it in to try to exchange it, I found out that NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEIR SWIMSUITS HAD ADEQUATE SUPPORT IN THE CHEST. And I tried on at least TEN different styles!!!!!! (Basically, every single one.)

*breathes*

I mean, honestly, here's the thing. I have NOT had much problem finding supportive swimsuits in my size when I'm not pregnant. They may not be entirely adequate, but the straps are thick and they hold me up and I don't feel like I'm going to fall out every five minutes. Now, you would THINK that since these people are making maternity swimsuits, they would be EXCELLENT at making pretty tankinis that also have adequate chest support for women who develop big boobs. This is NOT the case. They SUCK. Oh my gosh. It's not just that they're too small. That in and of itself would not be the problem. But, seriously, you can't make babydoll seams right under the chest without making obvious floppiness inevitable, you need a good, stiff, supportive band underneath, and the straps need to be simple, strong, and NOT FLIMSY BITS OF STRING!!!!!!

Again, ARRRGGGGGHHHH!

I ended up just taking the store credit and going to J.C. Pennys to look at theirs. Fortunately, they were better-made. However, seriously, the same complaints apply to the overall selection. I found two that I thought MIGHT work, and since they were 60% off, went ahead and bought both tops.

The one bright spot in all of this was the J.C. Pennys tankini bottom. Cute, with a nice little skirt on top that looks all cheerleadery and totally covers the tops of my thighs/hips in a rather darling way, in my humble opinion.

Also, discovered that husbands can be Very Useful on swimsuit shopping trips. Tying halter tops, adjusting straps, grabbing different sizes, etc. So, that was a bonus.

Took the halter top one out swimming tonight, and while it was less modest than I would have liked, it did not fall off and worked okay when I got used to it. I mean, I wouldn't want to use it for serious lap swimming, but it'll work for playing in the apartment pool. And the simple strap version might work better for laps. I'll try it out tomorrow.

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Mine has big thick straps, but it's a halter. Containment is... adequate. I will enjoy going back to my usual suit. Thank you for the reminder to get a bit of lace to help prevent potential loss of dignity.

[starlooker]

Alright, per my doctor and Little Bit's measurements, I was off by one day, and that makes today the beginning of Week 9 instead of the end of Week 8. I am going with their observation, as that puts me one day further along, and I like that idea.

So. Wow. Week 8 was quite a doozy.

It was one of the worst weeks of my life, and it was also one of the most amazing. Lost my job (well, they gave me 45 days) on Monday. Saw my baby's beating heart on Wednesday. Also got confirmation that there is only one baby, and that baby is right where it should be, which reduces a good number of my fears.

The job situation -- I'm starting to turn it around, see it as a blessing in disguise. I hope it will be one. I have to hope that at least one of us will be employed in the next month and a half. But, why not? I think my hormones are actually helping. I think I'm being more resilient than I would be otherwise. And the fact that there is a baby inside of me is forcing me to face reality and then look forward instead of dwelling on what could have been or might have happened. Also, many supportive friends and family. (Including tons of Alea-support which has been invaluable).

Anyhow, to the lists!

Awesome

1. Seeing my baby on the monitor. The photographs do not do that experience justice. Watching the heart beating and realizing that was happening inside of me, right then and there. I wonder if that was what it was like to watch people walking on the moon for the first time, looking up and trying to wrap one's brain around that happening right then. And just knowing that our baby was safe and sound and almost exactly as far along as we thought. I will never, ever, ever forget that moment. Donny squeezing my hand, and my contentment and joy and the fact that I was smiling, smiling without having to think about it or try. For the first time that week, my job situation fled my brain and nothing, nothing mattered but the little fuzzy figure on the monitor, the pulsing of its heart, and Donny holding my hand.

2. Having the photographs and being able to begin what could have been very depressing conversations with my two supervisors by informing them matter-of-factly that we were starting with the good news. The one who actually was given the -- apparently miserably stressful -- task of terminating me was not only happy to see the photos, but ridiculously relieved because she had apparently been having obsessive visions of the stress causing me to miscarry. I'm glad for both of our sakes that this did not happen. (I do not have any kind of grudge against her. I'm pretty sure if it were solely up to her -- or anyone who actually works closely with me -- I would still have a job.)

3. All the congratulations on Facebook.

4. Giving up on worrying about my weight and just learning to enjoy the new tummy.

5. The strap-on belly pillow in the maternity store dressing room, that you are supposed to put on under your clothes to see what you're going to look like and how the clothes will fit when you're a few months further along. It just TICKLED me to bits.

6. Having the most supportive, awesome, loving husband in the world. Who is looking forward to being a Daddy so much he can hardly stand it. And who was amazing as a swimsuit-shopping adjunct. And who is wonderfully obliging of my tummy's needs and desires.

7. The boy-baby name moment. I mean, my complaints about the name aside, it's just this amazing connection of intuition. It was awesome years ago when we found the girl-baby name, and it was still awesome when we found the boy-baby name. The girl-baby name, husband was trying to actually prove that we should not use the middle name I wanted, and then came up with the perfect combination using that middle name. And we both immediately felt it and pretty well quit looking for anything else. Same for boy baby name. It was supposed to be a joke, but we both instantly went, "oh." There's just this clicking into place, and it is no use fighting because at that moment, that is your child's name. I am no longer nearly so judgmental about the names some parents give their kids. If they had a baby-name moment and listened to it, they cannot be faulted for it. It's pretty powerful.

Unimpressive

1. If I'm eating for two, then I'm peeing for three.

2. The whole swimsuit thing. See above.

3. Return of queasiness as of yesterday. Oh. My. God. Yick. No actual vomiting, but my first time begging for crackers. Ish.

4. Monday night, driving home from work, for a moment I actually forgot the pregnancy and began looking forward to having a nice alcoholic drink to help relax after my worst workday ever. And then remembering and going, "Oh, well, nevermind. Damn."

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

I miss wine (and cider, and beer, and gin) so much! It really doesn't help that it's everywhere here, and often free. It's really hard to have another orange juice or coke when everyone around you is on the 3rd or 4th glass of free wine. I end up making sad faces a lot.

Wee Brontosaurus has been incredibly active this week! It's like the dang kid won't stop moving! It's gotten almost a bit disconcerting. Mommy's little ninja indeed...

I've been taking fish oil now for a week and a half, and I ended up just going with the cheap store brand option. It had higher DHA/EPA levels than most of the more expensive brands, and it's still not quite as concentrated as the super-expensive pregnancy brand, but it's pretty good, and I can afford it. Fishier than I would like, but not as bad as I feared. Bearable, if I'm quick.

On the clothing front, I finally broke down and bought a cheap pair of maternity trousers. I tried on a bunch of tops, but everything - everything - just made me feel frumpy and fat. I am having far better luck shopping in the plus-size section of stores. I make sure whatever I'm buying is long enough, and aim for empire waists. I'll revisit the issue next time I grow out of a bunch of clothes, but in the meantime, plus size is where it's at!

We're almost at week 26, and that is crazy awesome! I do the glucose tolerance test this week, and I'm pretty anxious about that. I don't handle lack of food very well, pregnancy aside. I don't feel it's gotten any worse with pregnancy, but even at the best of times I get a bit hypoglycemic under the prescribed circumstances. My game plan is a very late, large meal around 9pm. I did manage to beg a ride home from the hospital from a friend with a car, which relieves at least one of my worries.

Oh, and I'm back to wanting to sleep all the dang time. Eurgh.

And that's about it for this report. Holy crap, guys, I'm going to have a baby!

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

*laughter*

Advice from my mom:

* If you go into early labour at a bad time (like, in an airplane), a glass of champagne is the best cure. Barring that, a shot of rum or whiskey.
* Beer is good for breastfeeding!



Keep in mind that this is a woman who doesn't like wine or spirits, except for one specific type of rum, and will be under the table after a bottle of beer (or less). Not exactly a lush. Oh mom, I do love you!

[Jayelle]

*laughter*

* Beer is good for breastfeeding!

It's true! It's the brewer's yeast!

[Eaquae Legit]

*distant manic cackling can be heard*

It's awful being in the Happy Land of Beer, Many of Which Brews Are Only Available For a Month And Then Disappear Forever, and not having any.

And for the record, the one rum is screech, which you should totally get while you're in Newfoundland.

[Jayelle]

And for the record, the one rum is screech, which you should totally get while you're in Newfoundland.

Oh, I've totally had it. Paul's been screeched-in, but I haven't yet.

[starlooker]

Today, telling receptionists that I'm leaving my job. Them: "So, what are you going to be doing?" Me: "Gestating, mainly."

That was fun.

ETA: Also, the first trimester is totally kicking my ass this week.

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Leaving for glucose test in 5 mins. Oh God. Not sure how this morning is gonna go, but I've packed a sugary fruit drink for afters and a snickers bar and my music and something to read. HUNGRY

[Gravity Defier]

Hoping for the best!

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Well, I survived. It was an unpleasant couple of hours, despite some good company while waiting. Being poked with needles three different times in three different places when I'm underslept and shaky from lack of food is not my idea of fun. At least the blood-taking nurse was excellent, truly good at what she does.

[Luet]

So glad for you that it's over! When do you get the results?

[starlooker]

Glad it's over. Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine. Eventually, I'll have to, I guess. However, total sympathy and wishes for you to have lots of good food.

[steph]

Sounds like the 3 hour test? Did you already have the one hour, or did they skip straight to the 3 hour?

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

2-3 hours. They did a fingerprick to start with (5.4! woo!), then took 3 vials, then made me drink 420ml of some really weird English version of gatorade (Lucozade), and then I sat there for 2 hours. Then they took another vial of blood.

I haven't gotten a frantic phone call, so I'm hoping I'm good to go. I'll call tomorrow to check, just in case.

I devoured my snickers before I got to the front door of the hospital, and the bottle of ribena before my ride got there. I've had trouble balancing myself out all day, since then, and being overtired hasn't helped. Go to bed early, Kirsten! Eat dinner and then sleep!

[steph]

Whoa, that's different. My glucose tests go as follows:

1 hr before my blood draw appt, drink bottle of thick, flat pop that the dr sent home with me at the previous appt. 15 min later, leave for appt. Drive for 1/2 an hour. Arrive 15 min before appt. Let receptionist know what time I drank the beverage. At appt time, get blood drawn and I'm done.

If I were to fail that test, then I'd go for the 3 hour test. They draw before you drink and then they draw again after an hour, two hours and three hours. Luckily, I've never failed the 1 hour test.

[Jayelle]

Whoa, that's different. My glucose tests go as follows:

1 hr before my blood draw appt, drink bottle of thick, flat pop that the dr sent home with me at the previous appt. 15 min later, leave for appt. Drive for 1/2 an hour. Arrive 15 min before appt. Let receptionist know what time I drank the beverage. At appt time, get blood drawn and I'm done.

If I were to fail that test, then I'd go for the 3 hour test. They draw before you drink and then they draw again after an hour, two hours and three hours. Luckily, I've never failed the 1 hour test.

Yup, that's pretty similar to mine. I was just marveling at how things seem to be pretty different in the UK!

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Oh man, that sounds like a WAY better test! *jealous*

Seems I passed, or at least the only thing I got called about was apparently low iron. Since I have had trouble with that in the past, I just pulled out the bottle of iron tablets and added them to the vitamin rota. I now take a multi, an iron, and an O-3 at one point in the day, and 1 or 2 Ca* at another time.

I have a doc's appointment in a week, so I'll talk to him about the results. I don't want to be taking so much if I can avoid it. I'm really looking forward to just going back to taking a multi and calling it a day. Wee Brontosaurus, you better appreciate all this!

I can hardly believe that I'm almost 2/3rds through! It's getting close to the time when I'm really going to want to be stocking up on the baby things! Wee Brontosaurus is incredibly active, it feels like I'm gestating a Mexican jumping bean. I'm really, really hoping it keeps it up through the next ultrasound in a week and a half, I am intensely curious what it looks like on the inside!




* They only give 1/3 of the RDA for calcium each, so it depends on how much milk/dairy I've had during the day. The multi doesn't have any calcium in it.

[steph]

Wee Brontosaurus, you better appreciate all this!

The full appreciation will come when Wee Brontosaurus is not so wee anymore and you're almost a grandma and WB is doing the same thing you are, or helping his wife through it.

[starlooker]

Beginning of Week 10. Wow! Double digits! Every milestone makes me happy, makes me feel a wee bit more reassured that everything is going to be alright. Even though I'm not particularly worried, it's still reassuring when things go right. No news from the medical labs, other than a notice that my pap smear was normal -- reassuring. Ten weeks along -- reassuring.

Sighs.

Reassuring that my doctor was right when she informed me that the nausea might pick up again in the next couple of weeks after I'd bragged about how not-queasy I'd been? Um, not so much.

Seriously, this week in pregnancy has been kicking my ass. Long-term awesomeness still outweighs short-term misery, but this is the first week in which short-term misery is clearly beating up on short-term awesomeness.

Awesomeness

1. Discovery that I, too, can love Bert's Bees products. I'm trying to avoid pthalates and such, somewhat, and was very uncertain as to whether I would actually like Bert's Bees stuff, but it turns out I really do love it quite a lot. Also, Alba moisturizer. (This has been awesome for awhile, but I was saving it for a tough week. And I never remembered until after I posted.)

2. Donny's pretend-scenes of parenthood in the evenings. My favorite is our extremely reasonable child resisting all attempts to persuade him/her to leave the petting zoo until after hearing the piggy go "oink, oink." Very, very funny stuff.

3. With assistance of a body pillow, I have been re-training myself to sleep on my side and no longer end up sleeping on my stomach. Better to learn this now than later. Body pillow is awesome, too.

4. Cuddling at night with our hands over the place baby is growing.

5. Knowing that, this next week, baby is going to be developing teeny-tiny baby teeth underneath the gums. That is just too, too, too awesome.

6. Friend wanting to throw me a baby shower. Even though I have, like, four people in the area to invite. Still. That's sweet.

7. Looking forward to the second trimester. SO MUCH. Knowing that this week/month will eventually end.

Misery Which Has Started to Impress Me This Week

Most of these are not new, but are reaching new and exciting proportions.

1. Fatigue. Oh. My. God. Cannot move, do not want to move, nearly falling asleep driving to work.

2. Queasiness. It has not yet reached the point of vomiting, but keeps coming close. Also, numerous other gastrointestinal complaints.

3. My joy in food is dimming, my disgust with certain foods/topics/things remains as visceral as ever, if not more so.

4. Waking up every REM cycle to pee is no longer unusual. Happens about half the time. I wake up at least once or twice, regardless. And then I'm hungry. And then I eat something pretty mild. And then I feel sick. And then I have to pee again. And then I go back to sleep and have crazy dreams about a cat cursing me to be completely paralyzed except to slowly follow him and open a door to his nighttime abode, where I am going to have to sleep on the floor, and then waking up and finding I'm laying stock-still with my hands and feet completely asleep for no apparent reason. Which is annoying, because I have to get up to pee and don't have time to wait for them to wake up.

5. TOO MUCH WORK TO DO TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.

6. Feeling sorry for myself. And then guilty for feeling sorry for myself. And scared my baby will somehow magically misunderstand my feeling sorry for myself as not wanting my Little Bit, which is NOT the case at all, and also not a remotely rational thought process, but there it is.

7. Feeling afraid of the future, particularly of postpartum emotionality.

8. Completely dysregulated body temperature.

9. Painful, painful hunger symptoms every 1-2 hours. I feel bad, because I know so many women have it worse. I mean, I got to talk to someone who literally developed severe neck/back problems due to vomiting so violently. So, I know I should be grateful that I'm mostly hungry and only mildly sick (relatively). But, damnit, it HURTS, it's inconvenient, and I am no longer feeling terribly accepting of my weight gain.

~~~~

Bleagh.

God, I hope this week is better. Oh, well. By the books, the turning point should be around the corner somewhere. It's always darkest just before the dawn. Etc.

[steph]

Every woman's pregnancy is different and it's ok to feel miserable with your symptoms, even if others have it "worse." Everyone's challenges are unique and they deal with them uniquely. Quit beating yourself up and enjoy and loathe everything you want to the way you want to!!

[Eaquae Legit]

Aw, Kirsten, I'm sorry this trimester is so rough. It'll get better, it will! And you were listening to me whine last night and you have it so much tougher! One day soon you will wake up and realise that you haven't been so ravenous and you're able to make it through the day without wanting to pass out!

*HUGS*

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

I've been massively down on myself for the past couple of days, sort of feeling hostage to my body and my baby. It's hard to be so out of control, and every time I turn around, there's some weird new body THING that no one told me about before I signed on for this.

But today's bike ride made me feel so much better! I kicked butt! I did something I'd never done, even at my most fit and un-pregnant! And it made me realise that it could be so, so much worse. The fact that I'm able to keep being so much myself at 6 months pregnant is amazing. I'm not swollen or puffy or impossibly out of breath. I can handle the bladder pressure for ten and a half miles at a go. I am amazingly lucky, and I shouldn't complain so much!

I still refer to myself as Fat Grumpy Pregnant Lady, but it's tongue-in-cheek again.



Kirsten, I dealt with the queasiness with masses of ginger. Ginger grated into a mug with some lemon and a good big spoon of honey is perfect for sipping, and I felt it energising as well. Also Gravol makes a baby-safe ginger version that is excellent, basically just concentrated ginger.

[starlooker]

Thanks, Steph and Ali, for the support and validation.

The hunger is getting really, really out of hand. At least before it would subside when I ate a decent meal. Now, it just fades away a little bit, but it's obviously waiting to pounce. The 2 AM feeding leaves me wanting to cry with frustration. I HATE pregnancy websites, nothing has any useful information on this -- or any information that seems to take the problem seriously. Almost information comes from people posting questions because they're going through the same thing and can't find any helpful information. Oh, there's sympathy for vomiting and lack of appetite as well as encouraging notices about how at least you aren't going to predispose your kid to obesity, but hunger? Barely mentioned. And nothing that points out that IT REALLY f****** SUCKS. The ones that DO mention it just remind you to eat healthfully and that you don't really actually need extra calories and have this tongue-clicking "Are you sure you aren't just a piggy-pig-pig?" subtext.

Dear God, please, please, please let this get better.

[Eaquae Legit]

*big hugs*

I know you're trying everything you can think of to deal with this, so I'm just brainstorming here. Would a couple PB&J sanwiches by the bedside make nighttime any better? Or a cheese-and-sliced-meat sandwich? Something with whole grains that will take a bit longer to digest, and some protein and even sugar? (Also something easy to pre-make and leave out.)

Are you eating a snack right before bed? I often have a bowl of popcorn in the evenings and that helps me wake up less hungry. My body can be tricked with air-popped corn, which is bulky and carby but really not very bad for you at all.

I know you must have seen the suggestion of tea for during the day. Do you drink it with milk and/or sugar? I find the tiny little hit I get from those can carry me over a bit longer when black or herbal tea does nothing.

And the last thing I can think of, you might want to see if dried fruits help, since they expand in your stomach. Or add some more beans/lentils to your diet, since they do the same thing, but less dramatically. I have recipe ideas that are pretty easy if you want them.

I am SO not trying to lecture here, just scrounge my brains for anything that might possibly help! Constant hunger sounds like utter misery to me, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it.

[Mommy Brontosaurus]

Darn kid has gotten big enough to kick me in the ribs. You little bugger! Settle down in there! Geez! Ow!

*grits teeth and reminds herself that growth and activity are good and vital things for a healthy baby*

[locke]

Saturated fat provides a lot of satiety, maybe upping your saturated fat intake would help? I don't know what foods you like, but eggs (boiled eggs I'm thinking might be more palatable than other forms), liver, cream, coconut and beef are all high in saturated fat. Pork in the United States has been bred to be so low fat that they probably don't have as much saturated fat if you're eating non-bacon products.

[starlooker]

Thanks, Ali and Adam. No, I didn't feel like you were lecturing. I tried the popcorn last night (kettle corn!), but last night was a whole new level of misery. I'm kind of hoping that yesterday was the apex of misery and that it's all going to get better from there.

I ended up leaving work early to go home and be miserable there, instead. Yesterday there was ravenous hunger immediately followed by extreme nausea the second I put anything into my mouth. It took me about an hour to eat a bowl of oatmeal last night.

YICK.

I am not feeling good, today, but at least somewhat better. Even though I don't want to eat most things, no matter how hungry I am, I can find SOMETHING I'm willing to eat. So, that's a plus.

*shakes head*

As far as the saturated fats go, peanut butter on crackers or toast usually holds me better than a lot of things, but it only goes so far. And yesterday I could hardly stand the stuff.

*thankful yesterday is over*

[VelvetElvis]

I find that pasta in any creamy sauce works well when I can't get full.

[starlooker]

Definitely feeling better tonight. Thanks be to God.

Also, my husband walked in on me looking sideways at my belly in the mirror. This was the first time he really noticed that oh, there's a real belly bump! He made me take a picture. I really wish I'd taken one at the very beginning, just as proof that my belly is normally much, much flatter. I hate that I'm gaining weight in my face. But the belly bump I don't mind so much. That said, I hope it stays where it's at for awhile. It probably will if my appetite starts to wane, which I have high hopes of.

[Jayelle]

Yesterday there was ravenous hunger immediately followed by extreme nausea the second I put anything into my mouth. It took me about an hour to eat a bowl of oatmeal last night.

That I can really relate to. Early pregnancy (both times) was full of me being hungry and yet not being able to down the food.

I hated crackers, but I used to bring a bag of carrot sticks to work with me and just eat them continuously.

[starlooker]

Funny incident this morning.

I'm laying in bed, looking at a ruler that I brought home for the express purpose of seeing how big Little Bit is getting. I'm gently smiling as I mark where Little Bit was at the time of the ultrasound, and where he/she probably is now, and seeing how much my baby has grown in just a teensy bit of time! And then I start imagining into the future, and moving my hand up the ruler, until I have a sudden realization of horror.

I gasp and say something along the lines of, "Oh my gosh! Honey! Wake up!"

At first he just mutters something and starts to go back to sleep, but then apparently something in my voice alarmed him, and so he is suddenly fully awake going, "What? What's wrong? What happened?"

I blush and remind myself that, in my condition, it is not fair to use a Voice of Concern or Fear unless there's an actual emergency. "Nothing. Nothing's really wrong. It's just, well, I was 21 inches when I was born. And look at this ruler."

He is somewhat sleep deprived, and sees the number 12 upside down. "It's 21 inches. So?"

"NO!! It's only TWELVE inches!"

"Oh. So the baby will be about twice that size."

"Yeah, but look! I could barely fit 12 inches of baby into my stomach as it is! There's no way I can fit 21!" I hold the ruler up to my abdomen for comparison.

"It'll be okay. You'll see. You'll grow." And Donny goes back to sleep.

I am still sputtering. I mean, I know he's right and women have been doing this for millenia, and I will grow, and the baby will be tucked into a ball, and all that, but still. It is just flabbergasting me.

Yet another moment I am grateful I have several months to get used to this idea.

And then I spent the rest of the morning imagining people trying to push a large, awkwardly sized and shaped couch through a small door.

[Jayelle]

Heehee! Oh honey, you need to look at some newborns. They are majorly curled up. They're only 21" if you stretch their limbs out.

[Eaquae Legit]

And then I spent the rest of the morning imagining people trying to push a large, awkwardly sized and shaped couch through a small door.

I had a similar moment when I tried on the hat I knit on a melon.