Philotic Web

I just signed up for the GRE. I am a little scared. Standardized tests usually aren't a problem for me, but it's the revised version and I'm afraid it's going to be glitchy and awful. And when did I get old enough to be thinking about grad school?

I just signed up for the GRE. I am a little scared. Standardized tests usually aren't a problem for me, but it's the revised version and I'm afraid it's going to be glitchy and awful. And when did I get old enough to be thinking about grad school?

Best of luck!

I am unspeakably terrified that either David or I will turn out to be infertile. I have absolutely no basis for this fear whatsoever--both of us are healthy and I don't know anyone personally with fertility problems. But sometimes I honestly stay awake at night running through all of my options, should that turn out to be the case.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom.

Is it ticking like this?

I am unspeakably terrified that either David or I will turn out to be infertile. I have absolutely no basis for this fear whatsoever--both of us are healthy and I don't know anyone personally with fertility problems.

This. I have absolutely no reason to think this, and i'm not anywhere near ready to have kids, but it's still a huge fear of mine.

Test tube babies unite!

I am unspeakably terrified that either David or I will turn out to be infertile. I have absolutely no basis for this fear whatsoever--both of us are healthy and I don't know anyone personally with fertility problems. But sometimes I honestly stay awake at night running through all of my options, should that turn out to be the case.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom.

Fantastic way to test this: Go off birth control and plan that "it'll probably take awhile".

I had the exact same fear and that's what happened to me. Pretty much both times.

I didn't have that fear, I guess since my mom was so darn fertile. I probably should have had that fear, since it took my sister 5 years to get pregnant, but I already had such an easy time before she started trying that the fear didn't transfer over.

Each pregnancy for me has happened in the magic 3rd month after going off bc. This time, I'm not taking any birth control, so I'll be interested to see how long it takes.

My fear is that all the stress that I experienced during my pregnancy with Tyler has caused the anxiety/paranoia problems he's having now. Brian was laid off and I was so sick I had to quit my job so we had no income, except temporary stuff. I didn't know what we were going to do or how we were going to do it. I really worried at the time that all of those extra stress hormones were going to hurt him long term, and now I'm really scared that they did and this is all my fault.

Another fantastic way to test this. Get really discouraged right before you take the third test in your third three pack of tests. Inform people how discouraging this is. Then take the last test.

No matter what happens, the infertility fear is gone.

Another fantastic way to test this. Get really discouraged right before you take the third test in your third three pack of tests. Inform people how discouraging this is. Then take the last test.

No matter what happens, the infertility fear is gone.

Is hullabaloo okay now? I love Pweb babies.

Moderate hullaballoo is okay

My fear is that all the stress that I experienced during my pregnancy with Tyler has caused the anxiety/paranoia problems he's having now. Brian was laid off and I was so sick I had to quit my job so we had no income, except temporary stuff. I didn't know what we were going to do or how we were going to do it. I really worried at the time that all of those extra stress hormones were going to hurt him long term, and now I'm really scared that they did and this is all my fault.

Try not to let that rule you (hahaha, easy, I know). I have the same fears, with being in school and the poorest we've ever been. So stressful, and worrying about stress only makes it more stressful! You do everything you can, and you're a great mom.

My fear is that all the stress that I experienced during my pregnancy with Tyler has caused the anxiety/paranoia problems he's having now.

It isn't. It was not your fault that you were so stressed during your pregnancy, if that had anything to do with it, which I doubt.

Look. There are a million reasons he could be struggling with it, one of which includes the fact that he is so, so brilliant that he cognitively is aware of things he's probably emotionally incapable of being prepared for. Not incapable because of anything you are doing wrong, but just because of his age. His brilliance is still a gift. (Please do let me know if you ever get an IQ test on him -- I'm really, really curious because I'm quite certain he will score ridiculously high.) He's got his path to walk in life, and for whatever reason, anxiety is part of it. I promise you, though, the fact that he has a solid family foundation will make it much easier than it would be if he didn't.

Look, I know kids who come from really terrible family backgrounds who have emotional struggles, and I know kids who come from very solid family backgrounds who have those struggles. (Not perfect backgrounds, mind you. My definition of a solid family background is actually pretty generous, and you qualify without question.) And the kids with solid family backgrounds -- yes, they struggle and yes, it's really hard and painful sometimes. But they tend to do much, much better at learning various coping skills, and I worry so much less about their eventual adulthoods.

Tyler reminds me a lot of my little brother, actually. He was -- is -- very gifted (although, honestly, not to the degree I suspect Tyler is). And, man, elementary school was horrible for him. But his adolescence was a dream, and I so enjoy and respect him as an adult.

Thank you for your input, Kirsten. It's getting bad and it's getting worse fast. Things that he LOVED a year ago, like the campfire and swimming, is now causing him so much anxiety. He's paranoid that everything is going to result in his death, even small every day stuff. It breaks my heart and I don't know how to help him. I talked to the pediatrician this week about the therapist that is starting at the office one day a week and he's pushing through a referral. I am anxiously waiting her to call and schedule him. I hope she's a good fit for Tyler, and if not, can refer us to someone who is.

Things that he LOVED a year ago, like the campfire and swimming, is now causing him so much anxiety. He's paranoid that everything is going to result in his death, even small every day stuff.

Burning and drowning are perfectly legitimate fears in my book. I don't recall having much love for campfires when I was little, and I still consider swimming a bad idea. I'm willing to stand neck deep in water, but actual swimming is for emergency purposes only.

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Unrelated to the above, I can't decide if I'm more afraid of failure or success. Failure is unpleasant. Success just sets one up for grander, future, more unpleasant failure. Considering I've had issues with this since the third grade, sixteen years ago, perhaps it's about time I got some help for this...

Thank you for your input, Kirsten. It's getting bad and it's getting worse fast. Things that he LOVED a year ago, like the campfire and swimming, is now causing him so much anxiety. He's paranoid that everything is going to result in his death, even small every day stuff. It breaks my heart and I don't know how to help him. I talked to the pediatrician this week about the therapist that is starting at the office one day a week and he's pushing through a referral. I am anxiously waiting her to call and schedule him. I hope she's a good fit for Tyler, and if not, can refer us to someone who is.

I'm glad you're taking him to someone, and I hope she's a good fit for him, too.

Book I might recommend -- "Is a Worry Worrying You?" It's funny and imaginative, the illustrations are great, and I think it might help with jump-starting conversations about how to handle various worries. (And, even if it doesn't, it really is a fun book.)

I just want to piggyback on what Kirsten said above. I'm struggling with brain-chemical issues right now (have been for a while), and I can honestly say that I believe my problems are entirely chemical. Because of my family, the support and love and care I enjoyed growing up, I don't have much (if any) psychiatric issues to work out. And that makes so many things so much easier.

You are a good mom and you have a very loving family (it fair oozes out of every post!). If Tyler needs help, he is going to have a way easier time of it because of YOU.

Things that he LOVED a year ago, like the campfire and swimming, is now causing him so much anxiety. He's paranoid that everything is going to result in his death, even small every day stuff.

Burning and drowning are perfectly legitimate fears in my book. I don't recall having much love for campfires when I was little, and I still consider swimming a bad idea. I'm willing to stand neck deep in water, but actual swimming is for emergency purposes only.

You are right; they are legitimate fears. But a year ago, he loved doing the "toasty butt dance" and wanted to be an olympic swimmer. It's the dramatic turn around that's worrying me, along with all the other little things he's paranoid about. He's thinks that he'll bleed to death when he skins his knee. He saw the carbon monoxide detector and is now worried about suffocating to death. He thought that the water that squirted in his eye must be poisoned since it hurt. He's afraid if he spends time in the sun, he'll get cancer. All of it put together makes this momma feel like it's outside of the realm of normal fear.

Thanks, Kirsten and Ali, for your words of encouragement. I'm checking the library for that book this week!

I was having a hard time falling asleep last night, so I was playing on my phone. By the light of the phone, on the comforter and a couple inches from my eye, I saw a GIANT carpenter ant. It looked like it was an inch long but maybe it wasn't quite that big. I flung the comforter away, turned the light on (waking my husband up) and put my glasses on. I never found it. I had an even harder time falling asleep after this. It was SO creepy looking. And it turns out that they can bite. Great.

I am zero problems with bugs. I don't even really have a problem with bugs being in the house (the except is roaches, ewwwww). It is going to happen. I draw the line when they are in my bed/bedroom. Creeps me out. After I find one, I always feel like every little itch is a bug crawling on me.

Yeah, I feel the same way. I don't freak out about bugs in general. I just don't like them being on me or in my bed. Or mosquitoes anywhere in my general area.

Gah. Mosquitoes are the bane of my existence. The only time I get any relief from them, is if there is someone around they tend to like more than me. This is a rare occurrence. I love to wear sandals. But if I happen to be outside after the sun sets, my feet might as well be one big mosquito bite. If one finds its way into my bedroom, I average about 20 bites when I wake up in the morning.

Have you ever heard of bugspray, silly? I know the ones with deet smell gross and the natural ones don't work at all (my opinion) but there is one that came out in the last few years with the active ingredient of picaridin and it's in the brand Cutter. It works as well as deet, though doesn't last quite as long. I keep a bottle at home and in the car.

Of course I have. The ones that I have tried, have never really worked. I had always thought it was because I sweat a lot. But perhaps it is just because I use the natural ones. I will definitely have to check out the one you mentioned.

The ones with deet are really effective too (brand name Off! is the most common), they just smell pretty off-putting. But I know how you feel. If I don't have bug spray on, I'll get eaten alive even if no one else does.

*double post*

Speaking of which...in the five minutes that I was outside with Pheeny this morning, I managed to get a mosquito bite on the very bottom of my chin. It's so swollen that it looks like I have a half butt chin.

I have this irrational fear that I am going to turn out to be infertile. I have no reason to think that I will be, but I'm terrified.

A cousin of mine has really severe endometriosis that has rendered her infertile... and I've been on BC since I was 17 because I was having really severe period cramps... which is a sign of endometriosis, but I never got it worked up any futher than that. And I probably should have.

I have nightmares about trying to get pregnant and failing miserably.

Kim, I know it won't help much with the fear but my mom had severe enough endometriosis that the doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have kids and just look at what (among others) came out!

I have this irrational fear that I am going to turn out to be infertile. I have no reason to think that I will be, but I'm terrified.

A cousin of mine has really severe endometriosis that has rendered her infertile... and I've been on BC since I was 17 because I was having really severe period cramps... which is a sign of endometriosis, but I never got it worked up any futher than that. And I probably should have.

I have nightmares about trying to get pregnant and failing miserably.

Kim I have the same fear but for a different reason. I have only had 3 or 4 periods without the help of BC. I got my period in 8th grade but just had 1 or 2 by the time i went to HS. I went on BC early in HS because i wasn't having periods at all. I stayed on for a few years but stopped taking it because I wasn't having sex yet, I was really bad at taking a pill every day, and really didn't mind not having to deal with a period.
In college i went back on BC and had periods again, but when i switched to an IUD because some of my other medications were making by BC less effective at preventing pregnancy my period stopped again.
If i don't have the hormones from BC telling my body to have a period I don't. and i know maybe i could still be ovulating but I'm so worried I'm not.

I have this irrational fear that I am going to turn out to be infertile. I have no reason to think that I will be, but I'm terrified.

A cousin of mine has really severe endometriosis that has rendered her infertile... and I've been on BC since I was 17 because I was having really severe period cramps... which is a sign of endometriosis, but I never got it worked up any futher than that. And I probably should have.

I have nightmares about trying to get pregnant and failing miserably.

Kim I have the same fear but for a different reason. I have only had 3 or 4 periods without the help of BC. I got my period in 8th grade but just had 1 or 2 by the time i went to HS. I went on BC early in HS because i wasn't having periods at all. I stayed on for a few years but stopped taking it because I wasn't having sex yet, I was really bad at taking a pill every day, and really didn't mind not having to deal with a period.
In college i went back on BC and had periods again, but when i switched to an IUD because some of my other medications were making by BC less effective at preventing pregnancy my period stopped again.
If i don't have the hormones from BC telling my body to have a period I don't. and i know maybe i could still be ovulating but I'm so worried I'm not.

I don't know why it seems like evaluating women's fertility is so much less straightforward than animal fertility. Like, I could tell you if a cow or a horse is ovulating properly with about a 5 minute exam and I'd only need a scope and about 10 minutes more to evaluate the uterus for implantable-ness. I guess it's probably more difficult because there's no noninvasive way to squeeze a woman's ovaries...

... there's no noninvasive way to squeeze a woman's ovaries...

*TMI Warning!*

Nope. It hurts, dang it! Not as bad as the uterine palpitations post c-section, though.

I don't know what the problem was but my parents had trouble conceiving for years. They were married in '79 and had officially given up hope a month before they found out my mom was two months pregnant with me in '84.

That it's quite possible that I could fail the bar exam.

I don't know what the problem was but my parents had trouble conceiving for years. They were married in '79 and had officially given up hope a month before they found out my mom was two months pregnant with me in '84.

I was in vitro and I still don't know what the problem was for them to eventually try in vitro. The funny thing with whatever problem and my mom's tube being tied after we were born, 7 years later my mom had my little brother.

That in another couple of years, I'm going to go digging through older threads and keep seeing avatars/usernames of people I really like and find interesting, who no longer post. (You all are too quiet, it's weirding me out)