1) How does the world see you?
Jimmy Durante – As time goes by
It's still the same old story,
a fight for love and glory,
A case of do or die,
The world will always welcome lovers,
as time goes by.
Apparently I’m viewed as a lover. Sweet.
2) Will I have a happy life?
System of a Down – Deer Dance
The little boy smiled, it'll all be well until
The little boy smiled, and it'll all be well
That’s the happiest lyric I could find in it…. Either that or I’m supposed to push little kids around.
3) What do my friends really think of me?
20 Dollar Love – Getting all riled up
That’s the only lyric “gettin’ all riled up†so I have no idea what to make of this.
4) Do people secretly lust after me?
Pink Floyd – Fat old Sun
When that fat old sun in the sky is falling
Summer evenin' birds are calling
Summer's Sunday and a year
The sound of music in my ears
There’s nothing in this song to really say I have people lusting after me. unless it’s the fat old sun. or I’m being stalked.
5) How can I make myself happy?
The Beatles – Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da
In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home,
With a couple of kids running in the yard,
Of Desmond and Molly Jones...
Happy ever after in the market place...
Desmond lets the children lend a hand...
Molly stays at home and does her pretty face...
And in the evening she still sings it with the band…
OK have the house, need the kids and the band.
6) What should I do with my life?
Cream – Anyone for tennis?
You can bring a bowl of rice and then a glass of water too
And fate is setting up the chessboard while death rolls out the dice.
Anyone for tennis, wouldn't that be nice?
Hmmm, cryptic. I guess I’m supposed to eat rice, drink water, and wait to die. Either that or play tennis.
7) Will I ever have children?
Incubus – Pardon me
An ominous landscape of
never-ending calamity.
I need you to hear,
I need you to see
that I have had all I can take and
exploding seems like an imminent possibility
to me.
Can’t I just get a straight answer? Apparently if I attempt to have kids I will explode.
What is some good advice for me?
System of a Down – Lost in Hollywood
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
Excellent, I’ll stay away, thanks!
9) How will I be remembered?
Yes – Going for the one
Now the verses I've sang
don't add much weight to the story in my head
so I'm thinking I should go and write a punch line.
But they're so hard to find
Singing pointless songs and not being able to write jokes. Great.
10) What is my signature song?
Cake – War pigs (cover)
Now in darkness, world stops turning
Ashes where the bodies burning
No more war pigs have the power
Hand of God has struck the hour
Day of judgement, God is calling
On their knees, the war pigs crawling
Begging mercies for their sins
Satan laughing, spreads his wings
Apparently I’m a war monger
11) What do I think my current theme song is?
Blues Brothers – Gimme some lovin’
Well I feel so good, everybody's getting high
You better take it easy 'cause the place is on fire
Been a hard day nothing went too good
Now we're gonna relax just like everybody should.
Sounds about right.
12) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Yes – Time and a word
There's a time and the time is now and it's right for me,
It's right for me, and the time is now.
There's a word and the word is love and it's right for me,
It's right for me, and the word is love.
That’s right! Carpe diem bitches!
13) What song will play at my funeral?
Bob Dylan – Brownsville Girl
I don’t even want to bother putting lyrics to this song on here. I think I asked for this song for my funeral so I could use it to punish anyone for actually coming to the service.
14) What type of men/women do I like?
Stone Temple Pilots – Plush
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?
When the dogs do find her
Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow
To find it, to find it, to find it
Yup, I like my women dead. WTF?
15) What is my day going to be like?
The Who – My wife
My life's in jeopardy
Murdered in cold blood is what I'm gonna be
I ain't been home since Friday night
And now my wife is coming after me
…
All I did was have a bit too much to drink
And I picked the wrong precinct Got picked up by the law
And now I ain't got time to think
I am so screwed…
16) Opening Credits
Tom Petty – You don’t know how it feels
But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me
Sounds like it might shape up to be an interesting movie.
17) Waking Up
Stone Temple Pilots – No Memory
Instrumental.
Fitting, I’m always really mellow in the morning.
18) First Day at School
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Give it away
Give it away give it away give it away now
Give it away give it away give it away now
Such a slut.
19) Puppy Love
Mike Doughty – Looking at the world from the bottom of a well
That Cuban girl
That brought me low
She had that skin so fine and red lips rose-like now
Her mouth was wide
And sweet as well
And now relentless hours of dreaming up her smell
…
Lonely
And the only way to beat it is to bat it down
Fitting.
20) Fight Song
Juliana Hatfield – Simplicity is beautiful
Blues soul rock country
Red green blue yellow
Morning laughing talking walking
Bread rice water fruit
It's a simple feeling
Hold feel save me
Baby brother sister parent
Oh yeah! I feel like kicking some ass now! Seriously, out of all the hateful music I have, this is what comes up?
21) Breaking Up
Elton John – Sixty years on
Who'll walk me down to church when I'm sixty years of age
When the ragged dog they gave me has been ten years in the grave
And senorita play guitar, play it just for you
My rosary has broken and my beads have all slipped through
You've hung up your great coat and you've laid down your gun
You know the war you fought in wasn't too much fun
And the future you're giving me holds nothing for a gun
I've no wish to be living sixty years on
Hell yeah. That’s more like it. So depressing.
22) Prom
Lenny Kravitz – Just be a woman
You ask me how should Ibe to you?
You ask me to tell you what to do
You ask me how can we make it through
You want me but don't know what to do
And I just want you to be true
Just be a woman, just be a woman
Songs like this get guys laid. So I guess it fits for prom.
23) Life is Good
Dave Matthews Band – Warehouse
But this I admit taste so good
Hard to believe an end to it
Smell touch feel
How could this rhythm ever quit
Bags packed on a plane
Hopefully to heaven, yeah
Good song. Not the one I would have chose for life is good though.
24) Driving
Metallica – The call of Ktulu
Instrumental
Hard rocking, so I guess I’d listen to it. Again, not my first choice for this category.
25) Flashback
System of a Down – Spiders
The spiders all in tune,
The evening of the moon,
Dreams are made winding through my head,
Through my head,
Before you know, Awake
Excellent song. I would use it for a movie flashback, if the movie was a creepy movie. Love this song.
26) True Love
Moe. – Stranger than fiction
Stranger than fiction, I heard the mouth of the young girl say.
Well, it echoes my belief of true love kinda. But the song doesn’t fit at all.
27) Wedding
Ted Nugent – Stranglehold
ya know im here to stay
got you in a stranglehold baby
you best get outta the way
good advice.
28) Moment of Triumph
Harry Belefonte – The banana boat song (day-o)
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o
This one made me laugh when it came up. I mean yeah, he’s so happy about the end of his day! Good some for moment of triumph for that reason alone.
29) Death Scene
The Offspring – Take it like a man
Close your eyes
Look away now
Make believe while you can
So you'd best go along
Don't let on if you can't find your way
Many more
Many more do it for you
Because heaven knows
Heaven knows it's like playing with fire
Your life's a throw
Shut up and take it like a man
Heh, very sympathetic.
30) Funeral Song
Simon and Garfunkel – Why don’t write me?
Why don't you write me,
A letter would brighten
My loneliest evening.
Mail it today
If it's only to say
That you're leaving me.
(La, la, la)
Apparently nobody will be there because they still think I’m alive, and just shunning them! This made me laugh so hard!
31) End Credits
Beck – Diskobox
All my friends got Dixie soul
Rockin' the plastic, takin' the low road
Rough as a river, cowboy now boy
Biscuit chicken hittin' the wicked
Sandwich soul, a buffalo
Make it back for the finger pointin' down
Well, it’s a song that will get people to leave the theater.
Ultimately, my zune is full of s***. I don’t agree with much of this. In fact if it was me choosing, I wouldn’t have used any of these songs, I don’t think.
