Wedding Planning!

Talk about anything under the sun or stars - but keep it civil. This is where we really get to know each other. Everyone is welcome, and invited!
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Petra456 » Fri Sep 14, 2012 8:54 pm

You two just look so happy, and it's absolutely beautiful <3
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Dr. Mobius » Sat Sep 15, 2012 1:00 am

Congrats!

I think having enough paper flowers belongs in the personal triumph thread. Your trials and tribulations with those damn flowers is all we've been hearing about for the past several months! :stoned:
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Gravity Defier » Tue Nov 06, 2012 8:07 am

Hey, married people. As the holidays are coming around, or have already started to come around, I was wondering if any of you started new traditions after you got married; things that you did with your own immediate families that you wanted to continue in your "new" married life or things you always wanted to do and now had a chance to make happen.
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Syphon the Sun » Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:33 pm

Hey, married people. As the holidays are coming around, or have already started to come around, I was wondering if any of you started new traditions after you got married; things that you did with your own immediate families that you wanted to continue in your "new" married life or things you always wanted to do and now had a chance to make happen.
Yep. We do pajamas and a book on Christmas Eve.
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Jayelle » Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:51 pm

Hey, married people. As the holidays are coming around, or have already started to come around, I was wondering if any of you started new traditions after you got married; things that you did with your own immediate families that you wanted to continue in your "new" married life or things you always wanted to do and now had a chance to make happen.
This is such a complicated and emotional question for us, but it boils down to: we alternate spending Christmases with either family and go with whatever that family's primary traditions are (for mine, opening gifts Xmas morning, for Paul's, opening them on Boxing Day). But since having kids, we have made some of our own traditions and it's been very fun to do so. Some of them have developed organically (like not putting up decorations until the first Sunday in Advent), others we have been very deliberate about. Some of those traditions: We follow the church year for Christmas, so we wanted our kids to know that the 12 days of Christmas fall between Dec. 24 and Epiphany on Jan. 6th, so we give them a little present in their shoe on each of those days. We light the candles that the girls got on each of their baptisms on Easter (when Ginny was baptized) and Christmas (when Maggie was baptized) to remember those days. On Thanksgiving, we always have a turkey feast, even if it's just our little family, but it's usually been spent with friends.
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:41 am

David and I have lots of traditions, almost all of which were begun before we got married (because, well, this is our first holiday season as a married couple). We definitely do a mix of carry-over from our families of origin and setting new traditions for ourselves. I imagine the new traditions will increase when we have children. A lot of my traditions for holidays are either dropped or approximated, because, well, we're so far away from the source.

Christmas is spent with his family every year. They have a large extended family celebration with tons of its traditions on Christmas Eve. We spend Christmas Day with his immediate family. We had been staying over at his mom's house on Christmas eve and waking up with his family, but we stopped that last year. It means a lot more driving on our part, but it was worth it to wake up in our own bed on Christmas (at his mother's house we sleep in separate rooms, even now that we're married. It's never been about what is seemly, and always been about the fact that the guest room is actually a large closet with a single twin bed. I sleep there, and David sleeps on the couch). When we have kids and (hopefully) a house, we'll probably start hosting his immediate family at our place on Christmas Day. Last year we got our first real tree (the years before we had a tiny tabletop fake one) and that's a tradition that will definitely continue. New pajamas on Christmas eve is also a must. Growing up on Christmas morning we always had fancy breakfasts (really fancy, with orange juice blended with vanilla ice cream for creamsicle milkshakes, and lots of other deliciousness) and I've always wanted to carry that on for my kids, when I have them. Every year, my father buys me two books and a ball for Christmas, because that was my exact wish list when I was like, three. He's done it every year that I can remember, and I love it.

Thanksgiving is spent with my family every year. My mom hosts dinner, and my whole extended family comes over. We make turkeys out of oreos and various candy every year, and have a contest to see whose is best. This is weird, admittedly. We listen to Alice's Restaurant on the radio every year (and on the ipod the only Thanksgiving we weren't in MA). Apparently Alice's Restaurant is not played on the radio 3 times on Thanksgiving Day in other states (Like MN. David had never heard of it until we met). This ASTOUNDS me. It is not Thanksgiving without Alice's Restaurant on the radio. How do you people live your lives? We also watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade all the way through (YES, David, even though we are 30 years old) and as soon as Santa's sleigh pulls in front of Macy's I text my old college roommate Heather and tell her that she's finally allowed to play the Mariah Carey Christmas Album. This tradition isn't worth expounding on, but it happens every year like clockwork.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby steph » Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:36 pm

I've never heard of Alice's Restaurant.

I don't feel like we have a lot of holiday traditions. Someone looking from the outside might think we do, but I guess it just all feels normal to me. Some years we have Christmas morning at home. Some years we have it at Grandma's house. Brian's family usually gets together sometime after the holiday. It's all so flexible that I never know what it's going to be.

Some I can think of:
-I usually watch White Christmas when I get home from Thanksgiving dinner.
-We have a Christmas book that my Grandma gave us that has a song, story and scripture for every night of December through Christmas.
-Santa brings breakfast so we don't have to cook. He used to bring us Pandoro, but I make my own pandoro now, so it's usually other pastry items and tasty juices. (This is a carry-over from my family)
-Santa ONLY brings things in our stockings and then 1-2 whole family presents. It's important to me that my kids know about giving and receiving. Their presents come from us and each other and they are involved in picking them out for each member of the family. The kids know not to ask Santa for big things...those things come from mom and dad.
-My family always gets together on Christmas Eve for finger foods and soups and we play games and such. Everyone knows this is far superior to Christmas Dinner. :) (I'm always sad when we have to miss it.)
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Mon Nov 12, 2012 9:20 am

I've been thinking about other traditions David and I have as well. One of my favorites is Stay-In-Bed-All-Day Day, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. We do it twice a year. We don't set an alarm, just wake up naturally. We do get out of bed to shower and put on clean pjs, then get right back in. The night before, we lug everything we could possibly want into the bedroom so it will be at our fingertips (much like my concept of Sick Islands). We read (aloud to each other, and to ourselves, respectively), we play cards and board games, we watch movies and tv shows on the lap top, we talk, we eat lots of snacks that don't require cooking (usually a large French baguette and an impressive array of cheese, plus some veggies and lots of chips and ice cream). We drink wine and/or Irish coffee. We nap. It's basically the best thing ever.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:40 am

I think I'm ready to talk about our wedding.

I knew writing about it would be difficult. I expected the wedding to live on inside my body, a pulsing, shining, winged thing. I knew even before it happened that I would struggle to translate it into words. I instinctively felt that I wanted to protect it, cherish it, and maybe--yes--hoard it a bit.

Now I find that I'm struggling to write about my wedding, but not for the reasons I expected. My relationship with my mother--already fragile--has been deeply damaged in the aftermath of my wedding. And no matter how hard I try I can't separate the two things. I feel as though someone scribbled over my wedding memories with a sharpie marker. Obscuring everything light and beautiful with heavy, erratic lines. I thought when the professional wedding photos came in, they would help me preserve my memories as they should be, and at first that's what happened. Until one of the photos sparked another issue with my mother, and the whole thing started all over again.

I think waiting for the perfect time to write about my wedding is a mistake, because I don't think a perfect time will ever come. I don't know if I'll ever be able to think about my wedding without a tinge of sadness regarding everything that happened afterward. But I still want to write about it. (FYI: I will not be writing about what happened with my mother. At least not here, and not as part of these recaps. I'm going to try to write about the wedding as I experienced it at the time, and that perspective does not include any of the drama).

So, this will most likely be in multiple parts, and very picture-heavy. (note: I promise the pictures have been resized. I don't know why they are so huge right now!)


BEFORE


We woke up the morning of our wedding together, in our own bed. Truthfully, I had barely slept the night before, so popping out of bed at 4:00am was very easy for me. David and I both showered (I didn't bother to wash my hair, since they'd be taking care of that at the salon for me) and piled into the truck to go to the farmers market to eat breakfast together and pick out flowers. People insisted I was crazy to do this. "This" meaning all of it. The staying at my own place with David. Getting up at 4:00. Going to the farmer's market. Making my own bouquets. They couldn't have been more wrong. The morning was wonderful. Giddy and private, and--because we routinely go to the farmer's market on weekends--deliciously normalizing. We waited in line to get breakfast sandwiches (eggs, ham, cream cheese, cheddar, and tomato on a toasted sesame seed bagel--wedding dieting did not exist in our house) but we were there SO early we had to wait for the bagels to actually arrive!
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Waiting
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Waiting
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Where are the bagels?!
(Once we actually got the bagels, we were too ravenous for photo ops).

After running around and buying whatever flowers happened to catch my eye, David dropped me off at the hotel where my family was staying, and we said goodbye until the ceremony.

I went up to my mom's hotel room to start making bouquets. My mom and her husband were there, and my sister, who was half asleep. My best friend Julie was wide awake, though, and came to join us. Making me laugh and keeping me both distracted and focused, respectively (she is basically the best best friend). She took some photos of the bouquet struggle.
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And it was a struggle. I made many, many practice bouquets over the summer, without any trouble. Each one prettier than the next, and all of them far better than my bridal bouquet on my wedding day! Every flower that I chose had a head that naturally drooped down or curved outward, making in IMPOSSIBLE to get a round bouquet. All three of mine were vaguely conical. I didn't understand what was happening or why until halfway through the first bouquet, and by then my mother had invited virtually my entire extended family into the room and was forcing me to make polite small talk with them while trying to make three bouquets on a limited timeline. It was frustrating to say the least, mostly because everyone had spent so much time telling me that making my own bouquets was stupid and I badly wanted to prove them wrong. I don't regret doing it at all, and had I chosen flowers with more care I think I could have rocked it out. As it was, I think they photographed relatively well, though in person that were absolutely a wonky mess! Still happy I did it.

After that we had to head over to the salon, which was also mostly stressful. I still wasn't sure on the hairstyle we'd settled on (I did end up going back to the salon and reworking the entire thing ahead of time, and I'm glad we didn't stick with the first plan). Hair for four of us and makeup for me took over three hours, which brought us to around 12:30pm or so, and I was starting to get very anxious. I also felt like my makeup (which included fake eyelashes) looked distinctly drag queen-ish, although everyone assured me that it looked great, and that it was just because I never wear makeup that I felt it was too much. That, and also it's because it looked a little drag queen-ish. At least more so than the "natural" look I requested.

This is when I started having what I can only describe as anxiety attacks. We were heading back to the hotel for a little bit before making our way to the venue, and I tried to calm myself by taking awkward photos of my face and trying to convince myself that the make up looked normal.
Image Image
Needless to say, it didn't work.
We were at a traffic light about two blocks away from the hotel when my entire extended family herded along across the crosswalk directly in front of our car. Somehow they didn't notice us. My stepfather asked if he should honk the horn and let them know we were there. "NO," I yelled. I really did yell it. The idea of having to sit in the hotel with my entire family again made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to see David, badly, but if I couldn't have that, then I wanted to be alone. By the time we made it to the hotel, my family was walking into the lobby. I'm sure they saw me, but my sister whisked me up the elevator and spirited me into her hotel room, locked the door, sat me down on the bed, swapped out my lipstick for a better color, put on some random cooking show on the tv, and left me alone to breathe frantically while she put on her own makeup in the bathroom. I have never loved her more fiercely, or felt so close to her than in those moments. She just HANDLED it. And it was freaking AWESOME.

Eventually my mom came in and cinched me into my longline strapless bra. With my brief period of tv zoning over, I started to get a little hysterical again. I kept saying, "I'm freaking out. I am freaking out." Which my mother interpreted as meaning that I didn't want to get married. DEFINITELY NOT WHAT I MEANT. I was just so....freaked out. I wanted to get to the venue. I wanted to get going. I wanted to get married already! I really, really, really wanted to see David. I felt a little claustrophobic and weirded out at being the center of attention. I wanted to do something to make me feel normal again, but I still definitely wanted to get married! Unfortunately, I wasn't really able to articulate that in the hotel room. I just kept saying, "I am freaking out!" with more and more urgency. Luckily, my sister knew what I meant. Another surge of fierce love for her.

I don't know that I can go into detail about the car ride over to the venue without raising my blood pressure too much. My parents were supposed to drive us, but at the last second decided to rent a car. Luckily, David had already taken our dresses and everything over to the venue in the morning. The driver did not speak English, and was confused about our destination. He kept pulling over and saying he wouldn't take us where we needed to go. This, on top of the fact that I get carsick, was NOT FUN. Eventually he called in to his office and they managed to straighten everything out, and he agreed to drive us there, but we still couldn't relax, because he insisted on making wrong turns, even though I was directing him very clearly. We got lost. It sucked.

When we FINALLY arrive at the apple orchard and I stepped out of the car, waves of relief washed over me, and I instantly calmed down. We made our way through the tent first, and I actually gasped. It looked so beautiful, and it was so amazing to see what I'd been imagining in my head for so many months come to life!

[From this point on, all photos are by the wonderfully talented KNG Sommers Photography unless otherwise noted]
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Our sweetheart table.

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My mother made all the napkins.

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Guestbook table. My mom made the bunting, too!

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Wine corkboard for place settings. Pinterest should have warning labels about projects that take OVER FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE!

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This sign is probably the best thing I made, hands down. I'm a big fan of instagram, and I knew most of our guests were as well. Since people would inevitably be instagramming pictures of the wedding, supplying a hashtag grouped them all in one place, and encouraged people to post more. As a result, David and I had an instant mini wedding album to look at on our honeymoon. It was awesome.
Seeing the rest of the venue was just as wonderful.
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Programs!

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Where the magic will happen!
And then we finally made it to the tent, where the next round of waiting began.


I'm going to stop there for now. Up next is the waiting, letter-exchanging, and the ceremony!



(I know this is obnoxious, probably. But I feel like I spent SO much time on here, talking about the bad stuff. I wanted you guys to see the good side of this whole wedding business, too. Thanks, as ever, for indulging me).
Last edited by Young Val on Tue Nov 27, 2012 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Gravity Defier » Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:38 am

I know this is obnoxious, probably.
Not even close. Thanks for sharing; can't wait for more. :)
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Jayelle » Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:00 am

I know this is obnoxious, probably.
Not even close. Thanks for sharing; can't wait for more. :)
Ditto. I'm so excited to read this.
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Petra456 » Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:39 am

It's not obnoxious at all. You're wedding was beautiful and i'm so excited to hear the story!
Member since March 16th, 2004.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby GS » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:50 am

Everything looks amazing. Can't wait for the next post.

Although being a scrabble/words with friends enthusiast, I have an irrational need to connect the KELLY that is just floating out there. These two are the best I could come up with. By the way, I have no idea who Andy is and why he is involved in your marriage.

___DAVID
____N
____D
KELLY

KELLY
__A
__N
__DAVID
I don't want to do things. I want to not do things.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:56 am

I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

If she'd used my last name, she could've made it all fit!

It bothers me, too, but I am trying to let it go in light of how it makes a really nice background on our desktop computer. :)


ETA: Or even if she used "loves" instead of "and." Maybe not letting it go as much as I thought...
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby starlooker » Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:12 pm

I am loving reading this SO MUCH!
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby LilBee91 » Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:21 pm

I'm looking forward to the rest. Your venue looks amazing, and the paper flowers are the perfect touch.
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby GS » Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:23 pm

ETA: Or even if she used "loves" instead of "and." Maybe not letting it go as much as I thought...
Lol. Didn't mean to bring up a touchy subject.

Also, I demand pictures of the wedding pies in the next installment.
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:33 pm

Pies are part of the reception, and not due for at least two more installments, so here's a sneak peek:

Image

It's a miracle we got them at all, really, since they were delivered to the wrong address.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Young Val
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Tue Nov 27, 2012 3:02 pm

[Again, I promise that pictures have been resized. Photobucket is a jerkface].


WAITING

Around the corner from the ceremony site was a primitive little tent with a dirty mirror, some wicker chairs, and a folding table with a plastic table cloth. This was my "secret tent" where I would change and hide out until the ceremony so no one would see me. It was HOT in that tent. We tried tying the flaps open to let in some air, but it didn't help much. For the first 20 minutes or so, I was calm. I ate a granola bar (which I would not recommend to future brides as a pre-ceremony snack. It was a crunchy one, and got so stuck in my teeth. I had brought a toothbrush with me, but the bathrooms and sinks were across the venue, and there was no way I could get there without guests seeing me. I had to make do with swishing water around in my mouth. This is the glamorous side of getting married. I also slammed down a Red Bull (I know, I know). That was my entire lunch, since I hadn't eaten anything since my 6:00 am breakfast sandwich. Hunger is not a sensation I experienced that day (that night, yes, but the story of the delivery food we ordered at the hotel in the middle of the night comes later). We had brought some Liberté Méditerranée yogurt, which I wanted very badly--but we had neglected to bring spoons! We also brought champagne and orange juice for mimosas. I had one, which was mostly OJ with a drop of champagne. The girls had more generous servings. I really wanted to be sober and present for the ceremony, though. Not tipsy. Plenty of time for that afterward.
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photo taken by my bff


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photo taken by me
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This photo, and the rest of the photos in this post, by KNG Sommers Photography.

Things were a little hectic. My mom was running around sewing my garter by hand. We weren't doing a garter toss, but it was my "something blue." Julie and Maura were both trying hard to keep me distracted and make me laugh. Now that we were actually at the venue I was ready to GO. I wanted to see David very much. The photographer, Kate, showed up right on time, made a few jokes to set us all at ease, and started snapping away. My sister and Julie got into their dresses. It was too early for me to get in mine, yet, so Kate took it (and the rest of my accessories) and took pretty pictures of them around the venue.
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I bought the shoes online, just the week before. With no idea whether or not I would like them or if they would fit. I was beyond caring. They fit just fine, and I liked them. Yay!

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I actually didn't end up wearing the pearl studs, which I have owned for years, instead wearing the small silver hoops I woke up wearing in my second holes.

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Necklace, earrings, and both hairpieces were from Etsy, though all different vendors. I couldn't decide which hairpiece to wear, so I bought both, and the hair dresser convinced me that she could make both of them work together. I'm so glad! The comb was my "something old." It was made from vintage buttons and brooches. (My "something borrowed" was a handkerchief from my mother, and my dress--or any other accessory, really, was my "something new." A last word about accessories: though not pictured anywhere, I wore my claddagh ring all day, on my right hand like I have for the last 10 years, despite loud protests from my sister. For the ceremony I moved my engagement ring over to my right hand and stacked the rings, and then switched it back over to the left with my wedding ring after the ceremony.

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Our rings!
I started texting David. I was so excited, and wanted to see him SO much.
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We wrote our ceremony together, including our vows, and put a lot of thought into it. A lot of times, when people write their own vows, they are more or less reading love letters to one another publicly. The vows can be intensely personal or funny or both. And they can be very, very lovely. But that's not what David and I wanted to do.

Firstly, we wanted to speak the same vows. Not write them secretly and surprise each other that day. We wanted to speak the same words to one another, and we wanted to craft those words together. And secondly, we wanted our vows to mirror vows in traditionally religious ceremonies--at least in intent. Meaning--we wanted to actually VOW something. To make specific promises aloud to one another. We both know that we love one another. Everyone invited knew that. That's not why we wanted to get married. Our decision to get married transcended our love for each other. We wanted to move into the realm of something bigger. Declare our feelings and intentions in a larger sense. To truly vow to become partners for life.

While we love each other deeply, the point of our marriage vows wasn't to articulate and describe and quantify that love. So that's something we decided to do privately. We agreed to write and exchange love letters before the ceremony, so that we had an outlet for all the romantic things we were obviously feeling, while still keeping our ceremony focused. This was awesome, although I very much wished I could exchange letters with David in person (I wanted to see him SO MUCH. At this point I was practically begging to go find him. Knowing he was at the venue somewhere was torturing me. But as my sister said, "Refusing to see each other until the ceremony is literally the ONLY tradition you guys wanted to hang on to. Stay strong!") Kate, the photographer (henceforth referred to as just Kate) played messenger for us, and snapped some photos of it in the meantime.
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David waiting until the last minute to write his! I wrote mine the night before.

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Reading the letters was wonderful. My anxiousness gave way to a calmer sort of energy. I was still hurtling toward something huge. I still wanted everything to move faster. I still wanted something "normal" to happen, and I still wanted to see David more than anything on earth. But though the urgency was there, it wasn't frenetic anymore. I didn't feel so chaotic and out of control. If there is a way to feel both floaty and very grounded at the same time--that's how I felt after reading David's letter.

I said goodbye to my mother, and then it was time to change into my dress.
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But suddenly I felt the overwhelming need to pee. And as I've mentioned before, the bathrooms where on the other side of the venue. Kate was off taking photos of David while he read his letter, so Julie and Maura spent about ten minutes convincing me to go into the woods behind the tent to pee. Really.

So I went to go do it.

I am not a novice to peeing outside, but nor is it something I'm practiced at. Also, I was about to become that girl who peed in the woods 15 minutes before her wedding. And while I was standing in the woods, with my pants unzipped, but still on, I tried to talk myself into just popping a squat and being an outdoor-peeing-bride. But two of my best friends o had snuck into the woods to pick apples before the ceremony. They rounded the bend before I could make up my mind. I screamed, "GO AWAY!"--scaring the s*** out of them--and ran back to the safety of the tent. I decided to hold it. (Spoiler: I didn't pee until about six hours later. I'd forgotten all about the need to do so until then. My dress was such that I could cleanly and efficiently pee on my own, without any outside assistance. Wins all around).
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Mike and Dan, the friends who interrupted me before I could pee, taken a little while before the incident.
So. Time to get dressed for real. Getting into a wedding dress--even a simple one that zips up the back--is an ordeal. And probably, unless you are a supermodel, you don't look particularly attractive while people are helping you stuff your feet into shoes you can't really see, or telling you to stay still while the zip you up.
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But it was awkward and funny, and I remember feeling both perfect and hesitant, and wanting some kind of approval I couldn't define. (I am giving it to you straight here, kids. I felt both stunning and insecure at the exact same time. Conflicting emotions are real). I decided not to try to parse those feelings, which is one of the best decisions I made all day. While getting dressed, while seeing myself in the mirror for the first time, I felt a lot of different things, and many of them directly contradicted each other, and not all of them were positive. But in and around all that other stuff, I also still recognized myself, and that was good enough for me. I decided to feel it all and let it go.

Once I was finally all dressed, my sister walked around me to make sure everything was in place, and when she got to the back, she panicked. She grabbed a bottle of water and furiously started scrubbing at the back of my dress, almost in tears. Just under the sash there was about a three inch streak of dirt on the skirt of my dress, probably from when the photographer hung it in the tree. I made Maura stop scrubbing, because within seconds it was clear that it wasn't helping any, and all that was happening is that I was getting wet. For a second, the tent seemed to get very small, and all the air whooshed out, and Julie, Maura, and Kate all just stared at me, clearly braced for a meltdown.

But.

It was awesome. My wedding dress was stained. It was stained, and I hadn't even walked down the aisle yet. It was stained, and it was the most normal thing that had happened to me all day long. I felt like my grin was eating my face.

"f*** it," I said. "It's going to get dirty in ten minutes, anyway."

There was just another second where I think maybe no one believed me. But then Kate shouted, "This is why I love you! I knew I wanted to shoot your wedding!"

Suddenly my dad came in, and after a few minutes it was time to line up for the ceremony...
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Last edited by Young Val on Tue Nov 27, 2012 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby LilBee91 » Tue Nov 27, 2012 3:33 pm

Proposed to with jam (jelly?) in your hair and walking down the aisle in a stained dress. That is what makes you awesome. One of the many things. Can't wait for the next installment!
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby starlooker » Wed Nov 28, 2012 8:43 am

Love the picture of your Dad hugging you!

Also, am SO JEALOUS of the dress that required no assistance to pee in.

I am loving this and can't wait for next installment!
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby LilBee91 » Sun May 26, 2013 9:15 am

Looks like I need to start posting in this thread soon. I'm engaged! Details and pictures and whatever else goes into this process to follow.
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Luet » Sun May 26, 2013 9:16 am

Congratulations!!
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby KennEnder » Sun May 26, 2013 9:24 am

congrats!
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Petra456 » Sun May 26, 2013 1:13 pm

Congratulations!!!
Member since March 16th, 2004.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby powerfulcheese04 » Sun May 26, 2013 3:08 pm

Yay!! Congrats!!
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Syphon the Sun » Sun May 26, 2013 7:37 pm

Looks like I need to start posting in this thread soon. I'm engaged! Details and pictures and whatever else goes into this process to follow.
Congratulations! Have you guys picked a date, yet?
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby starlooker » Mon May 27, 2013 3:07 pm

Congratulations! Such happiness!
There's another home somewhere,
There's another glimpse of sky...
There's another way to lean
into the wind, unafraid.
There's another life out there...

~~Mary Chapin Carpenter

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby LilBee91 » Mon May 27, 2013 5:39 pm

Looks like I need to start posting in this thread soon. I'm engaged! Details and pictures and whatever else goes into this process to follow.
Congratulations! Have you guys picked a date, yet?
Thanks everyone. We don't have a date yet--decisions are way too much effort when you're on vacation. We haven't even picked a season yet. Neither of us are keen on winter weddings, so it'll either be a bit of a rush for sometime this fall or a long wait (in my opinion) until next spring.
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby steph » Mon May 27, 2013 5:55 pm

Yay! So exciting! I'm looking forward to planning updates!
"When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby Young Val » Thu May 30, 2013 9:19 am

Congratulations!!! :D
you snooze, you lose
well I have snozzed and lost
I'm pushing through
I'll disregard the cost
I hear the bells
so fascinating and
I'll slug it out
I'm sick of waiting
and I can
hear the bells are
ringing joyful and triumphant

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby EAGLE » Fri May 31, 2013 10:02 am

I hope I dont take away from the ones who started this thread...so first off congrats and I love the pictures put up, thank you for sharng!!

But considering that this past monday I returned from my own honeymoon I figured I drop in here and let anyone who still remembers me, that I too just got married and when I get the pics I can post em as well.

Too me it seems so sureal and a blur of time both being married and being here on Pweb, to remember first meeting the lucky ladies mentioned in the original starter post here. Thinking about the fact that its been nearly 11years since I first found Pweb after reading EG sophmor year of high school; now to have kids being born and people getting married!! You guys here helped me in so many ways and time and time again I come back to these threads and smile at the memories.

So now I'll be smiling at the new memories and the new lives of those married, soon to be, and the onE-dayers; and I say CONGRATS and thank you!! :toocool:
Pweb member since 2002

"Remember kids...A smart man knows when...to run like a little bi**h"
-Desert Punk

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby LilBee91 » Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:36 am

First step: wedding dress shopping on Thursday.

They're going to be very annoyed with me not having a date, but my mom is down here visiting the new grandson and the wedding dress selection is MUCH better in Idaho/Utah than it is in Alaska, so I wanted to at least try to find one while I'm still here.

But if my preliminary phone calls are any indication, I'm not going to have very great luck. I fell in love with one dress online, but no one has it in stock (the place I'm going had it in a larger size as of Saturday, so I may try that on to get some idea), no retailers in Alaska carry that line, and I can't order it via Internet. I'm hoping that the gown place will order it in and ship it to Alaska if I decide I like it.
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

LilBee91
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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby LilBee91 » Wed Jul 31, 2013 2:23 pm

I realized recently that I should probably start wedding planning in earnest and Pweb has been declared my official ranting post. Lucky you guys! In this post, you get lists.

Thusfar, I have:
Gotten engaged (still need to write up that story)
Acquired wedding dress (post with that story to follow in a few days...and maybe some pictures)
Scheduled engagement photos (my old friend is letting me use my free photoshoot I won forever ago)--this Saturday, providing weather cooperates
Discussed tentative date with family/friends who have less flexible schedules--January 3, 2014
Found potential reception venue, which may be for the ceremony too, but we will see

Things I need to do ASAP:
Break the news to my parents that we will not be getting married in their church (been procrastinating that one due to the potential unpleasantness involved...)
Figure out how much money they are willing to contribute given the above, and budget accordingly (Mr. Sexy Pants' immediate family will all be flying up here, so I don't think we are going to ask them to pay for anything besides their airfare)
Call venue to see if it is available for that date and will actually work
Pick outfits for engagement photos
Get a job (Interview today!)

Things I am looking forward to:
Picking out flowers (if I ignore the cost thereof, which is ridiculous especially since we live in Alaska)
Shopping for shoes/boots to go with dress
Getting dress bustled/hemmed (mainly for the excuse of putting it on again)
Meeting Mr. Sexy Pants' best friend
Planning the honeymoon
Being married

Things I am not quite as excited for:
Spending that much money
Dealing with people
Timing day-of things (mainly pictures) with only five hours of daylight
Finding friends/family that will be willing and able to help with the creative side of things--I have ideas but am not skilled in that department, and my mom is worse (she wants us just have a ceremony and family dinner and call it good)

Thumbs up:
Both of our families are full of people who don't care too much about fancy weddings (he has one cousin who is getting married next July who might be a bit judgmental of things, but that's no big)
Once I have talked to my parents and booked a venue, I will be much more sane (I hope)
If all else fails, we could both be okay just going to the courthouse and calling it a day
I used to hate gravity because it would not let me fly. Now I realize it is gravity that lets me stand.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

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Re: Wedding Planning!

Postby steph » Wed Jul 31, 2013 2:34 pm

I would LOVE you be your "wedding planner" and help out!! It sucks that you live so far away! My 2 friends and I are in the final stages of putting together our biennial formal dinner/dance event. This years theme is Around the World in 80 days. It's very steampunk and I love it! We'll come help you!!! (stupid airfare.)

Good luck on talking with the parents. I hope it goes better than you're expecting!
"When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time." - Jamie Cullum


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